Alias S02E20

Okay, here's the thing. Bradley Cooper rocks.

If you're coming to this interview to find out the dirt on him, if you think that all that talk about how the cast gets along great and all mutually admire each other is a load of crap, if you're curious about what kind of underwear Bradley wears, if any, then you've come to the wrong place. This is pretty much a former actress-turned-writer chatting for over an hour with one of the nicest, coolest, sweetest men on the face of the planet. If that sort of thing just isn't your bag, well, stop reading RIGHT NOW.

See, I posted a request for an interview with Bradley Cooper in one of the forum threads without a hope in the world that anyone associated with the show would even bother to enter the forums. Imagine my surprise when I got an email from one of the producers; instead of telling me to stop cracking wise on the writing crew and to please bring a few degrees less of snark to the table, the remarkably cool guy actually asked me if I was serious about wanting to interview Bradley. After I passed out from shock, I believe my response was, "Hell YEAH!"

So, anyway, the lovely producer gave me a number to call, and the even lovelier press agent and her equally lovely assistant helped me set up the whole interview time and everything, and, well, let's just say I was so tweaked that I was interviewing Bradley Cooper that I might have downed half a bottle of Skyy vodka the night before just to get my brain to turn off so I could go to sleep.

That still doesn't explain how I could call Bradley "Will" at the end of our conversation. Yeah. I really shouldn't be allowed to interview anyone EVER AGAIN.

Bradley Cooper: Hello, Regina.

Regina: Hello, Bradley.

How's it goin'?

Good. How're you?

Good.

Where are you?

I just got into my apartment. Just walked in the door.

Were you just workin'?

Uh, I was just workin'.

Well, I'm glad that you had the chance to talk to me.

Yeah, well, I'm glad that you had the interest.

Oh, God YES. Are you kidding? I mean, all of the people on the boards are like, "Where's Bradley lately? He's not on the show at all!"

Really? Well, that's nice to hear.

Oh, man. They're freaking out. They're all dying that you haven't been on the last --

Used to be the other way around...

Sweetie, your storylines were not great there, early on. I'm just sayin'.

["Sweetie"? I'm calling him "sweetie"? What, am I his elderly -door-neighbor or something? Good holy Mary on a moon pie.]

Right.

So, how are ya?

I'm good, actually. I just moved to Venice...are you in California?

No, I'm in Chicago. But I was born in Long Beach.

Well, I'm from New York -- well, originally Philadelphia, so this weather...I still don't get it...

Does it kind of freak you out?

No, in a good way!

Yeah, like it's actually SUNNY all the time?

Yeah. And I just moved to Venice, which is ridiculous, because it's the kind of place where you can actually, you know, walk around. Which is key, 'cuz I came out here to do Alias from New York, so I was in this little place just east of Laurel Canyon, in the hills, for the past year and a half and it was just driving me nuts.

Really? Why?

Because I had to drive everywhere!

Oh, that sucks! That's right. I read an interview you gave where you said something about how just getting a bottle of water is ridiculous. Like, it's not like New York where you can just walk half a block to a deli whenever you want.

Like, I literally would not even bother! I'd be like, "Ahh, I don't need to eat, really." Seriously!

And you can't order in! What's UP with that?

You can't order in! Nah, it's ridiculous. So, when you go out, you go, "I have to get this, this, this, and this done, otherwise, who knows when I'll be back here?"

Because you have to take, like, five freeways, and take eighteen exits...

Well, you know, the sad part was, all I really had to do was go down the street.

[laughs while attempting to light fourteenth cigarette]

But the act of getting in your car to go work out somewhere...that still escapes me.

That's kind of weird to me, too. Like the neighborhood I live in here in Chicago, there's stuff around but, like, I can't go out anywhere and just pick up a salad or something. Everything I eat has to come from, like, Peapod. That's why I love visiting my friend Sars in New York. I want an ice cream at 3 AM? I GO DOWNSTAIRS.

Right! And as much as people are like, "Oh, fuck it. I don't wanna talk about L.A. and New York!" You know what? I could talk about it forever.

I know. One of my questions for you was going to be, "Would you rather live in New York or L.A.?" And, like, that's really easy.

One-word answer.

L.A.'s awesome, weather-wise, it is just not an environment that I feel like having fun in.

Yeah, no. Although, I do have to say, to be honest with you, living where I do now, in Venice, I really love it.

Venice rocks.

And, in fact, I see myself staying here for a while.

Really?

Yeah.

Where you live right now, can you see water and stuff like that?

I'm four blocks from the water. It's actually in a really bad neighborhood, but, like, because of that, it's sort of diverse and there are actually people walking around. You know, that have other lives.

Yeah. It's funky. Which I love. When I was a kid, we used to go to this open park just to Venice and we used to go see bands play and stuff, during the summer.

Oh, really? That's pretty great.

Growing up in Long Beach was cool. But I don't know that I'd want to spend my formative years there.

You know, I've never been to Chicago, but I hear it's great.

Oh, it's awesome. It's a very small town but a big city. Except for my neighborhood which is, like, Latin Kings and shit.

Well, that's sort of comparable to my neighborhood. We heard, like, four gunshots the other night.

Excellent! Makes you feel really alive!

Exactly. We could die at any minute! Not like the rest of the world doesn't let us know that.

Oh, I know. On a daily basis. [pause] Did the press agent tell you that I know Zak?

Zak Orth?

Yeah.

No, dude!

Totally!

You're kidding? Dude, he is literally one of the most talented actors I've ever worked with.

I know. I went to college with him.

What's that?

I went to college with him.

Oh -- I thought you said, "I had sex with him."

[laughing] No! Although I think I wanted to at one point.

Um, you know, he has a little baby.

I heard about that.

Yeah. About a year ago.

I can't believe that.

Yeah. Did you ever know Heidi?

Yeah. I went to their wedding.

Oh, well, Jesus. Yeah.

Yeah, I knew Heidi when she was still in children's publishing and then she went into acting once they moved to New York.

Yeah, they just moved to Brooklyn and he's taking a break to look after the kid.

Dude. He's so fucking talented.

Dude. It's ridiculous.

I know. He's one of those people who just...I knew it when I met him, like, in high school. And then, when we went to college together, at the Theatre School, he just was one of those people who walked in and you went, "Oh. Okay. Well, I'm gonna stop now."

Yeah. Seriously. No, it's true. No, he's so fucking good. I hope he gets back into it.

Yeah, I do too. He was one of those people who, when we had our auditions in New York, he just got an agent like that. [snaps] And started working. I mean, his first movie was Spanking the Monkey.

Oh my god. And he had, like, a three-picture deal with Miramax. He was so great. He was so nice when I met him at Wet Hot. We just continued the relationship.

How did you get the Wet Hot gig?

Do you mind, uh, I'm eating a bar while I'm talking to you.

No, go ahead.

Really? You don't mind?

No. Munch away. I'm smoking a cigarette.

Oh, good. Okay. I'm eating a Zone bar. See what's happened to me?

Oh, dude. You're so L.A.

I'm eating a fucking Zone bar. Gimme a cigarette! Oh...I just auditioned for Wet Hot.

You didn't know the guys from The State first?

No, didn't know anybody. I was in grad school and my agent sent me on this audition and I went in there and met them all that day. And they cast me, thank god. I had to miss graduation to do the movie. Thank god I did it.

I'm so glad you did.

Since then...those guys are still my friends. I just talked to Janeane Garafalo yesterday. She's in town. I became good friends with her. And Amy Poehler --

Oh, I LOVE Amy Poehler. I saw her a lot when she was here at the Improv Olympic, and that's where they first did the Upright Citizens Brigade.

Which is genius.

I know. It's fucking brilliant.

And Jen just did SNL and she and Amy had a great time together.

It looked like such fun. I think Zak met all those guys when he was out there, so he became friends with them first. And that's how he continued...and I think my friend Kathy dated one of the guys for a bit. Not Michael Ian Black but...

Michael Showalter?

Yup.

"Coop."

Heh. "Coop."

Did you see the movie?

Oh, GOD. Like, five times! I own it, dude.

It's a great movie.

I have to own everything that Zak's in. I have to. That whole movie is so fucking funny. The whole gay wedding thing...[breaks down in laughter] Oh, wait, did you and Michael Ian Black get to pick your own sweat socks for that scene?

Heh. The truth is, that was our choice. When we were shooting, we said, "Can we keep our socks on?"

[hissing with laughter]

Yeah, and it was actually, um, they cut it out, but, when we're having sex, I say to him, "What's my name?" And he's like...wait...what was my name? I can't remember...

Uh...what..."B"...it started with a "B" --

Ben! So, I was like, "Say my name." And he was like, "Ben." And I was like, "No, say my Christian name." And he goes, "Benjamin."

[totally losing it with laughter here]

[laughing] They didn't keep it in there, dammit.

Was it all scripted? Or did you guys just make it up?

Nah, we just did that. But it was a nice moment.

[again, losing it in laughter]

[laughing] But that was...I think my idea was the socks, but his idea was just fucking genius, it was to lift me up and kick the --

[laughing harder] Yes!

[giggling] And then he was lifting my leg up and I was all, "Dude! What're you DOIN'?!"

That scene just killed me, man. When I first saw the movie, I rented it...I didn't even see it in theaters...and--

It got kind of a cult following.

Yeah, but it didn't do any kind of decent business, which really pissed me off.

Yeah.

And my friend Randy was all, "It missed it on a couple of points." And I was all, "It didn't miss it on ANY points! It's fucking HILARIOUS." The whole gum-chewing kissing crap...

I know! There's so many great moments like that. The whole "Rod" dude? When he's picking up the silverware?

Oh, wait, wait, and that guy -- Chris Meloni?

Dude!

When he's all, "I have to go fondle my sweaters now."

"I have to go...make some fondue...or something..."

And talking to the can of peas? I mean, I don't know how they came up with that shit.

Yeah. It was pretty genius.

They're still doing comedy, I think. It's Michael Showalter and --

Yeah, they're doing Stella.

Yeah. Stella. Have you seen their website?

Have you seen the show?

No, I haven't seen the show.

Oh, dude, it's great. Zak and I both did...during the show they do a couple of shorts --

Yeah, the short films! Did you do one?

I did a couple videos, yeah.

Oh, did you? They're online now.

Oh, dude. I did...me and the girl from Ed...who's the main girl from Ed?

Oh, the blonde girl? I can't remember her name...Julie? Wait. Lemme IMDb it. Julie Bowen!

Yeah, Julie! We did this Thanksgiving one called "Raking The Leaves." Dude. It's so funny. You gotta watch it.

Okay. I've got Stella bookmarked. So I'm gonna go to the Stella shorts.

Dude. Check it out.

Sars sent me the one with Sam Rockwell as the pizza guy?

Oh, yeah - the singing in Washington Square? That's genius. And he's got the big teeth in?

Yes! And he's like, "What, you think I'm a pussy? Whuh?"

[laughing through his Zone bar]