Previously: Will gets two things from the Bogeyman. Unfortunately, one of them isn't the clap. Instead, he gets a call to meet him on Seventh and Spring and a tape of the murder of Eloise Kurtz. Marshall inadvertently rats Sydney out; Sloane has Sydney kidnapped by some goons.
Sydney wakes up on top of a nasty striped mattress. She's handcuffed and chained in a dark little cement cell. She gets up only to discover her foot is chained to the wall. If she'd gotten hit by a car -- even a slow-moving car – wouldn't she be way more messed up than that? As it is, Sydney looks a little scraggly and extremely wooden-faced -- but I guess that last part's really par for the course.
SD-6. Sloane. He's filling in Russet on the transmission Marshall tracked from their Swiss escapade in the last episode. Sloane asks him if he suspected anything. Russet says no. Sloane tells him to go in and pretend that he's going to be killed unless Sydney confesses what's going on. Russet asks if he's sure that'll work. Sloane tells him that a threat to a colleague is a fundamental interrogation technique. He also tells Russet that he's going to have to look like he's really been interrogated. And, dammit, Sloane is now pronouncing his name as "Russek," so now I have to change the spelling. Argh.
Cell Of Naked Mattresses. A really beaten-up Russek is hauled inside and chained to a bed across from Sydney. Sydney is mentally doing the wacky. Russek asks if she's part of this. Sydney feigns innocence. Russek tells her about the transmission, and tells her that if she doesn't tell Sloane how much damage has been done, he's going to be killed. The Wind Machine Of Doom drones eerily behind them. Sydney asks if he believes them. Russek says yes. She asks again. He says yes again.
SD-6. Jack walks over to Sydney's desk, only to see that it's almost totally bare. The Kettle Drums Of Doom go into serious overdrive. Jack asks a neighbor if Sydney moved her desk. The neighbor replies that the security section cleared it out an hour ago.
Chamber Of Horrors. Some goons enter and tell Russek and Sydney to hit the floor. Hands clasped, they kneel and put their foreheads on the floor. A goon kicks the bed near Sydney's head. She starts. He says that Sloane wants to know if she's ready to talk to him. Sydney is breathing hard. She exchanges glances with Russek, then says flatly that she has nothing to say.
SD-6. Jack bursts into the office of some guy we've never seen before. He says, "Steven, what's going on?" Steven is silent. Jack demands that he talk to him. There's some back and forth and it's pointless, and FINALLY Steven fills him in on the info that we've heard five times already: transmission from Switzerland blah blah blah double-agent cakes. Steven says it's not the first indication that Sydney might be a double. What, you mean besides her forty-eight mistakes in every episode and the giant neon arrows pointing to her head that read "CIA MOLE HERE"? Steven says he's sorry, and hands Jack a file. The Kettle Drums Of Doom are kicking it old-school, in a serious way.
Chamber Of Horrors. Sydney is being buckled into a chair with some very large leather straps that coincidentally bear a resemblance to some Hermés leather belts that were all the rage a few seasons ago. See, kids, this is what a standing subscription to Elle gets you -- a working knowledge of leather goods that cost more than some cars. The goons leave, and Sydney tries to get herself unbuckled. But then a cadaverous-looking doctor comes in. Close-up of Cadaverous Doctor putting on rubber gloves. Sydney starts breathing hard. CD takes out a mini-tape recorder and hits play. He puts it on the tray to her.
SD-6. Jack enters a conference room and looks around. The camera does that three-hundred-sixty-degree whirly thing.
Chamber Of Horrors. CD whips out a mini-taser gun thingie. Sydney introduces herself, and then says that she's seen him around the office, and that she always wondered what he did. She gasps as he tightens a rubber tie around her arm. CD doesn't say a word. Sydney mutters that she guesses this is what he does, and CD takes out a syringe and fills it.
Marshall's lair. He's doing something under a magnifying glass when one of his computers beeps. He checks it, and his brow furrows. Oh, no -- has he fallen victim to Michael Vartan Disease? Cut to Sloane's office. Marshall holds some paper files and tells Sloane he should see something. Sloane moves v-e-e-ery slowly.
Chamber Of Horrors. The Cadaverous Doctor is filling the syringe, still. Sydney is trying to fast-talk her way out of the situation, but CD is having none of it. He taps her arm, looking for a vein. Mmmm, veins. Sydney's face tightens up as the needle gets closer. Sydney's still flinching and the needle's still on the verge of entry when a goon enters the room. He says there's been a change of plans.
Sloane's office. Sloane's POV as he tells Sydney that she's been under suspicion as the mole for the past few weeks. He then tells her -- and us, for the three thousandth time -- about the Geneva transmission, and how they suspected it was her, but they just learned it was Russek. Sydney breathes, "Russek."
Chamber Of Horrors. Russek is being buckled in by the large not-Hermés leather straps. I'm sorry, I just can't get over that. He's struggling like a madman, of course, and yelling that he wants to talk to Sloane. The CD shoots him up. Russek screams.
Sloane's office. He's all twinkly and approving as he tells Sydney that he knew she would never betray them, and that when he learned Russek was the mole, he felt vindicated. He holds out both hands to Sydney. He looks like he's at her bas mitzvah or something. Yick.
Vaughn's VO. "That's impossible." Cut to a flower stand on an L.A. street. Sydney's selecting flowers as Vaughn sits with his back to her at an outdoor café table. They go over the Geneva transmission for the three thousand and first time. Kill. Me. Now. Apparently, the story that Sydney got from Sloane was that Russek was transmitting to K-Directorate. Vaughn once again expresses disbelief that he was doing so at the exact same time as Sydney was transmitting to the CIA, and that Russek's was the signal they picked up. You know, if they want to keep hitting us on the head with large, blunt objects, could they at least NOT pick the same exact spot with which to do it?
Vaughn tells Sydney that the CIA has no record of Russek talking with Russian intelligence. Sydney says that when she questioned him about his interrogation, he was "blinking in erratic intervals," and that's a classic sign of lying and that's why she refused to talk. "Blinking in erratic intervals"? Who the hell talks like that? Sydney says that maybe Sloane still thinks she's the mole and is using her somehow, or that Russek actually was K-Directorate. Vaughn says that there's a third option, and Sydney finishes for him -- Russek "was a sacrificial lamb." Aw, how cute. They're completing each other's sentences. Now can they just hump already and go off to their honeymoon of wooden faces and forehead crinkles?
Sydney asks if it was the CIA. Vaughn says no, but that Russek could've been working for K-Directorate, and that's what they should assume until they know more. Sydney apologizes for contacting him, but says they needed to talk. Vaughn tells her to never apologize for that. He gets up and drops a little Christmas-y gift bag near her feet. He mutters that he bought her a little something when he was shopping at an antique store. Sydney asks what he was doing at an antique store. Vaughn says he doesn't know, and that if she doesn't like it, not to tell him. They wish each other a merry Christmas.
Sydney's Apartment Of Good, Clean, Wholesome Fun. Francie, Sydney, and Will are playing Boggle and arguing over vocabulary. Will's sister is there, too. There's repartee to show how cute and bonded the group is. It centers around the validity of the word "numbst," which apparently is a real word and means something similar to "numbskull."
Sydney's beeper goes off. She apologizes, and says it's work. Will says it's ridiculous and that her job is interfering with her life, and that she works ridiculously hard, and that it's not exactly like she's a brain surgeon, and he's going to call and quit for her right now. Sydney says she can't quit. Will asks why. Sydney gets irritated and says sharply, "Will, it's my job. I want to do it well." Would someone please kick Will in the nuts? He's Sydney's friend, not her analyst, for chrissakes. Will continues to needle her, and concludes by saying that he thinks she's acting like a "numbst." Sydney loses it a little bit and says that while her job may seem pointless and stupid to him, it's not, and that if he knew what she did and how well, he might even thank her. Would someone please get a nice big cross for Sydney so she can climb right up on it? Will is understandably confused and asks what the hell she's talking about. Sydney gets herself under control and says she's going to work. She gives Will a dirty look on her way out.
SD-6. Sloane is telling them about Anini Hassan, who's looking to partner with a rogue nation. He shows them a recent photo, and says that they can't find him, but adds that, thanks to Sydney, they seized the majority of Hassan's private assets. He passes the conversational ball to Jack. Jack tells them about a hideout island where extraditions are notoriously lax and anyone can buy entry for a price. They don't take Discover, but they do take American Express. Haw! I kill me. Sloane says it's not likely Hassan's there, but there is a lead: Severan Driscoll -- who the hell is coming up with these names, by the way? Is there some sort of Sydney Sheldon-esque name generator on the Web that I don't know about? -- is a master forger and document-maker whose base is on "Simba Island." Or it's "Asimba Island." I can't hear it. Let this be a lesson to you, kids: you can only go to so many concerts sans earplugs before it takes a toll. Anyway, the point is that Sydney's going undercover as Victoria King to find out what identity Driscoll created for Hassan.
Sydney looks anxious.
SD-6. Sydney's desk. Jack approaches and tells her that he heard about what happened. He asks how she's doing. She says he's fine. Jack says, "Russek. It was a shock." Jack tries to look surprised, but looks a little smug instead. Don't ask me how I get about a paragraph of subtext from three seconds of facial expression, but I do. Victor Garber is good. Sydney suspects something and asks, "You didn't." Jack denies it.
CIA Warehouse. Vaughn tells Sydney that Russek is dead. Sydney looks sick. They talk about her counter-mission -- to find Hassan's identity and to keep it from SD-6 and give it to Vaughn instead. For the Sydney-Vaughn cheering section out there, she says, "Give it to you," rather than "give it to the CIA." It's amazing how those junior-high skills of parsing every breath, nuance, and molecule of conversation for romantic possibility really never leave ya.
Some anonymous pawn shop. Will and Gadget Inspector 2 are analyzing the tape the Bogeyman left for Will. Apparently, the bullet was a 9mm shot at close range, twice in the chest and once in the head. Will says that it's how Eloise Kurtz was killed. They listen to the tape over and over again as they figure out that it's not necessarily the same person who killed her who gave Will the tape, or the one who gave Eloise the transmitter blah blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Is this show over yet? Can I take a nap?
Will. Asks. Again. Why someone would tell him about the tape and send Kate Jones to see him. They scroll through the tape again to hear a man's voice saying, "Did you tell him about SD-6?"
Some little So-Cal bungalow. Sydney parks, gets out, and knocks on the front door. Oh. It's Will's place. Sydney apologizes for snapping at him previously. That's nice of Sydney. Will says that she doesn't have to apologize, but that he's worried about her. Sydney says that he's right, and that's why she's there, since she does need to do something non-job related, and that maybe the four of them could go to Lake Arrowhead weekend. Okay, this is not Mayberry Fucking RFD. L.A. is like New York; you call first, you don't just show up on someone's doorstep. Will agrees, but he's not super-enthused.
Sydney reads his face and whisper-asks if he's not alone. Suddenly Jennie, wearing Will's button-down shirt, pops up behind him. They exchange fakey-nice greetings. Will asks Sydney if she wants to come in, now that he's been caught. Sydney's voice goes sorority-sister saccharine as she says no thanks, that she has to go home. Jennie out-saccharines her and says that it was good to see her. You know, if Sydney didn't get the hint, I think Jennie should've lifted her leg and peed all over Will. Come to think of it, seeing that would be the only moment of enjoyment I've had watching Will. Point made, Jennie disappears and Will closes the door. Sydney walks away after the door closes and says meditatively, "Hmm."
Kenya. I don't know what location they used for the exterior shots, but it is unbelievably gorgeous. Emerald-green water, a strip of golden beach, flora-covered cliffs, and hardly any waves. If you need to be an international criminal to get access to places like this, sign me up, now. I'm really good at not paying parking tickets. Sydney, sporting a blonde wig, a black-and-white straw hat, and a sleeveless beige linen dress, walks up to the check-in counter. She's also sporting huge pink sunglasses. And black sling-backs. Who the hell wears black sling-backs with beige linen? That is so nouveau riche. The desk clerk welcomes her to "Samba Island." I am officially confused about the name of this place.
Cue pointless flashback. Marshall tells Sydney that the resort she's going to is super-swank, and that's why he made her wear the abovementioned huge pink sunglasses, since not only do they have telephoto lenses and take silent photos, but they're also super-swank. "Swank" is one of my favorite words. ["It's also fun to call stuff 'Hilary Swank,' like, 'Ooh, this room at the Plaza is Hilary Swank.'"-- Sars]
Kenya. Sydney and her rose-colored glasses troll along the poolside. She spots Driscoll and telephotos him for a few shots. Fake Curtis Mayfield plays. She turns to leave, and bumps into a guy that looks like a thinner Saddam Hussein. They apologize to each other. Right afterward, the desk clerk walks up and tells her that her suite is ready and to enjoy her stay. Sydney says, "I'll try," under her breath.
Exterior shot of swank island resort. This was total real-estate and vacation porn for me. I'm sad to admit that I rewound these three seconds of footage, like, a million times because it was so gorgeous. The building is white, the bodies are tan, the pool is aquamarine, the sea is cobalt, the sky is perfectly dotted with fat, puffy clouds and is a more brilliant, sky-like shade of blue than anywhere else on earth, and I am about to burst into tears.
Oh, right, recap. Cut to Sydney in her blonde wig and a cute black bikini, lounging poolside. Her body is fabulous, but the bra of this bathing suit is massively padded. Trust me, a woman knows. Sorry, kids. It's also such an effective push-up bra that I think Sydney might be able to rest her chin on her boobs.
Sydney saunters over to Driscoll and apologizes about the music in her suite, since she plays it too loudly when she drinks too much. Her accent is bizarre -- equal parts sugar magnolia and Berkeley Square. Driscoll is all but doing that cartoon thing where his tongue hits the floor and his eyes pop out. He's confused. She feigns shock that he's not the man in the suite to her. He says he wishes he were. He tells her she has an open invitation to his suite anytime. He also tells her the number: 350. Sydney says she'll see him around, and sashays off with a little smile. Very Scarlett O'Hara.
Underground parking garage. Will. He approaches a Mr. Stoller and tries to pump him for information. Apparently, in all of Will's searches for SD-6, the only match was for a deposition in a case that Stoller tried. It's too boring to recap, but the point is that David MacNeill was the client in the above-mentioned case. He was a computer programmer who didn't want to sell his business; one company wouldn't take no for answer, and the government starting investigating his business the day he said no to said company. Now MacNeill is serving sixteen years for larceny. Will asks why MacNeill plea-bargained if he was innocent. Funny, Stoller never said he was innocent. I hate Will. Will is a terrible reporter. Stoller says dryly that his wife killed herself, and that his daughter -- Stoller's goddaughter -- now lives with them, and that David wanted her to be safe. Will opens his eyes really wide and says that Stoller thinks it was murder.
Kenya. Sydney walks down a hallway to Driscoll's suite. She takes out a cell phone. Cue another pointless flashback. Marshall apparently has rigged the phone so that it can scan and produce a key card for a hotel room. Gee. Keen. The background music for the Kenya scenes have a lot of drums.
Sydney breaks in and starts riffling through Driscoll's passports just as Driscoll's large bodyguard walks down the hall toward the suite. Sydney's at the computer when the bodyguard enters. The bodyguard pulls a gun and asks, "Who the hell are you?"
Sydney feigns indignation at Driscoll, pretending that he's standing her up. The bodyguard asks again who she is. Sydney feigns more indignation that he doesn't recognize her, and approaches the bodyguard. Once she gets close enough, she grabs his gun, and they start fighting. You know, I'm all for believing a woman who knows how to fight could take down a man twice her size -- which this bodyguard is, by the way -- but if that were true, they'd have to be a helluva lot quicker than Sydney. I'm just sayin'. She side-kicks the guy through a wall that has large glass panes set in it. The wall breaks down to reveal a surgery room. Sydney walks in and sees the photos of the most recent surgery on the computer screen. It's Hassan, as she saw him at SD-6. Cue another pointless flashback as Sydney remembers the Saddam Hussein look-alike she bumped into a few moments earlier. It's the same guy. There are more pointless flashbacks to Episode Two when Sydney watched Hassan shoot his partner in the head.
SD-6. Sloane's VO fills someone in on Hassan having a new face and living in Havana. Except it's Jack, not Sydney. How did Sloane know this? Sloane says that they have to deliver an ass-whuppin', fast, to set an example; Sloane wants Jack to rendezvous with his usual contacts to locate and take care of Hassan. There's a little silence. Jack says he heard about Russek, and now with Hassan, he understands that Sloane is having a difficult week. Sloane then takes a trip down memory lane. He talks about his first briefing at the White House, back when he was CIA lo these many years ago, and how even in that moment of promise -- before crappy things happened to him, like the CIA betraying him and his wife getting diagnosed with lymphoma -- that he knew that the dark was rising. Except he says "the dark was coming," which is just as melodramatic, really. He says that he's always had that feeling, that the darkness was waiting there, and he knew that it would come, and that in difficult moments like he's having now, he always remembers that moment. It's really a bizarre speech, but Ron Rifkin does a great job. In fact, I'm almost wishing that Ron Rifkin would mess up, so that just once I could write something other than "Ron Rifkin does a great job."
CIA Warehouse. Sydney tells Vaughn that Hassan's new identity is Npsemi Isad (I think) and that she told Sloane Kenya was a failure. Vaughn tells her that Sloane already knows everything, and that he sent Jack to Cuba to kill Hassan. Apparently, Vaughn got the scoop from Jack himself.
Pointless flashback. Vaughn and Sloane meet in the back of a van. Jack asks for his counter-mission. Vaughn tells Jack that Hassan needs to be alive, and the CIA needs his client list. Vaughn starts to fill him in on the background but Jack snaps that he doesn't need a lesson in international arms trade. Vaughn snaps back, "Fine," and tells Jack that he's to convince Hassan that he's going turncoat on SD-6, and that he'll help Hassan fake his death for the client list. Jack says that Vaughn is making a huge mistake, trusting Hassan. Vaughn tells him that men will be waiting to ensure that Hassan will never be a free man again.
Back to Sydney and Vaughn. Sydney asks if that's all that happened. Vaughn says, "That's it." Sydney nods. She doesn't believe him. Vaughn asks if something's up. Sydney says it's nothing, and they exchange a drawn-out goodbye. There's four creases on his forehead, counting the ones directly between the eyebrows, so it must be bad.
Yet another pointless flashback to Jack and Vaughn. Did the writers see Memento a few too many times, or what? Oh, right -- except that in Memento, this shit worked. Vaughn then performs the Austin Powers fake-out -- he says he compared the Russek transcript to the CIA one, and they don't match, so he knows Jack altered it. Jack then rips him a new one, basically telling Vaughn he's not man enough to question anything Jack does, and suggesting that if Vaughn is appointed as his handler again, that he kindly decline. Vaughn says flatly that Russek never made a transmission, and that Jack fixed it. Jack snaps that of course he did, and if Vaughn had the SD-6 transcripts, he'd know that. Vaughn then does the Alias version of "I didn't know that, baby -- you just told me." Why, God, why? Why is this show so dumb? Couldn't Vaughn have just said, "I know you fixed it so Russek took the fall for Sydney, and I have the papers to prove it," and then Jack could've denied/confirmed it? How many precious moments of my not-so-young-anymore life have been wasted listening to crap being drawn out when it could've been much more succinct crap? And I know some of you out there are saying, "Physician, heal thyself," but to you I say, "Well, you may have a point." Also, I think Jack is way too smart and wily to fall for that tired old trick. Anyway. Jack looks askance, for once. He points out that he just found out his daughter was about to be tortured and executed, and that he had no time to go for help.
Yet another pointless flashback. We see Jack, this time in detail, doing what we already know he did -- faking a transmission from Russek. There's lots of cuts from the servers' room to Jack in the conference room. He fixes everything, then walks out to see Sydney talking to Sloane. There's maybe three miniscule twitches in Jack's face, but somehow Victor Garber registers total relief.
Back to Jack and Vaughn in the van. Jack tells him that he knows the truth, and that he can judge all he want, but he doesn't give a damn. Hey, Vaughn? Somewhere, on The Island Of The Total Weenies, the natives are planning to crown you king.
Sydney's Apartment Of Snowshoes. Will, holding a glass of wine and wearing said snowshoes, enters Sydney's bedroom. They banter about the snowshoes as Will hands Sydney the wine. Will spots Vaughn's gift and asks about it, clearly curious. Sydney tries to fend him off. Will suggests that "the guy" who gave her the gift likes her. Sydney gets flustered, then neatly turns the tables by saying he doesn't like her the way Jennie likes Will. She says -- semi-snidely -- that Jennie looked good in his snug shirt. Just as they're about to get into it, Francie calls for Will.
Close-up of the gift as Will leaves. Cut to Will and Francie in the kitchen. Will mentions the gift Sydney received. Francie blows it off, but said she heard about Will and the Cheerleader. Will says that she's not a cheerleader anymore, and that the relationship doesn't mean anything. Double gack. Also: um, the word "relationship" and the phrase "doesn't mean anything" kind of fall into the realm of oxymoron. Great. So now Will is schtupping naïve nineteen-year-olds. I am now officially cursing Will: he should get hard-ons and no one should notice.
Sydney's bedroom. She opens Vaughn's gift. It's an ornate silver frame. Very appropriate -- not too personal, not too presumptuous. Sydney whips out her hatbox of memories and finds a photo of her and her mom. Right behind it is a photo of her and her dad -- she's sitting on her dad's shoulders, and it's cute as all heck. I've often wondered how they do those photos -- do they Photoshop the whole thing, or does the actor have to bring in an old one, or both?
Vaughn and Sydney. Sydney tells Vaughn about finding the photo, and tells some story about asking her dad if Santa Claus was real, and that he always answered flatly and factually, "Yes, of course he's real." I can see Jack doing that. I think that shows what a good actor Victor Garber is, when you can project that far onto a character. Sydney says that the way he answered always tipped her off to the fact that he was lying, which is why she always asked again. Sydney says that he was the same way when she asked him about Russek. Sydney says looking at that photo of Russek made her realize that her father sacrificed him just to save her, and that he wasn't the guilty one; she was. Vaughn points out that Russek was one of the founding members of SD-6 and did tons of bad things, and funded lots and lots of operations that worked against the U.S. government, not to mention missions like the one that killed her fiancé. Yow. Low blow. Sydney swallows. Vaughn says Russek got what he deserved. Sydney says that if Vaughn knew so much about Russek, he also knew that he wasn't K-Directorate and was sacrificed to save her. She says that's a choice her father can't be allowed to make. Vaughn asks what she would've done if it had been Sydney's daughter, or son, or Danny. They both go silent. I can't believe I'm saying this, but they both have a point. Vaughn massages his many forehead creases; I wonder if they're also members of SAG, since they seem to do as much work, if not more, than he does. Sydney looks pouty.
Vaughn gets a VO as the camera cuts to the sepia tones of Havana. Havana is so sepia-toned it looks like it has jaundice. Jack set up a meeting with an old contact. Vaughn's VO fades out, and we cut to Jack sitting at an outdoor café as two baddies approach. They pull a gun, but Jack quickly throws his table at them. A car nearby opens, and more baddies wrestle Jack to the floor and pull him into the car. Jack is wearing a white linen suit and looks super-natty, by the way.
Back to Vaughn and Sydney. Vaughn tells her Hassan has her dad, and that they can't launch a rescue or search team because it'll attract too much attention. Sydney says if Vaughn understood what her father did, he'll understand why she needs his help now.
Programmer's Prison. The titles read that it's Lompoc. For a moment I thought my VCR had shorted and had recorded Out of Sight on another channel instead, but the gods of TV are never that kind. By the way, more unsolicited recommendations: that movie was seriously underrated and is one of the sexiest things I've seen. It's way better than Ocean's 11 and Steven Soderbergh is such a good director that he made it look like J. Lo can act.
Cut to Will waiting for "David MacNeill," Hey! It's Ken Olin! I have a very complicated imaginary relationship with Ken Olin, mostly stemming from my love/hate for thirtysomething. Some episodes of that show were almost Ingmar Bergman-esque. Then the other ones were so self-indulgent and annoying that they made the Dawson's Creek cast look like Peace Corp volunteers. Apparently, Will lied and said he wanted to interview David for an article on encryption software. He tries to grill David about SD-6. David says he has nothing to say. Will probes, annoyingly. David refuses. Will probes again. Will confesses that he met with Robert Stoller, and says he knows David's backstory. David tells him angrily to never talk to Stoller again, and gets up and leaves. Oh, man. You know David and his daughter are both dead meat, because Will is a moron and is going to fuck things up but good.
Jaundiced Havana. Sydney's there, looking for her dad. She's dressed in military black and goes from place to place, flashing his photo.
Hassan's Hideaway. Hassan enters the room where Jack is bound to a chair and surrounded by armed guards. They banter about SD-6 knowing Hassan's new identity. Hassan says they're going to learn what happens when they send someone after him. Jack says he has an offer.
Cut to outside Hassan's Hideaway. Alias disco mega-mix starts up. Sydney wallops a guard.
Back to Jack. Jack tries to cut a deal with Hassan. Jack says SD-6 knows what Hassan looks like now, and that he's as good as dead. Jack then proposes the deal that Vaughn wanted him to make.
Back to outside the compound. Sydney's running around. A guard yells at her to halt. They fight, but he leg-sweeps her and she hits the cement back-first. Man. I've been there, and that shit's going to hurt for weeks. Sydney should start eating arnica and just soak herself in Ben-Gay for as long as she can.
Jack and Hassan. They've moved outside. Hassan asks Jack how he knows Jack won't betray him. Jack says he can trust him, that he's the one who contacted Hassan's men, and that if he wanted Hassan dead, all he had to do was keep his mouth shut and take care of him before Hassan knew he was in the country.
The guard who walloped Sydney approaches Hassan. They talk in low tones. Hassan comes back and says that while Jack makes a good offer, he doesn't know if he can trust Jack, but there is a way he can know for sure. He asks if Jack came alone. Jack says yes. Hassan says there's someone else from SD-6 there. The guards drag in Sydney and throw her on the ground in front of Jack. Hassan casually wallops her. Jack looks ill.
Hassan walks over and unties Jack's hands from the chair and hands him a gun. Hassan tells him to kill her, and that if he does, he'll know he can trust him. Sydney and Jack look at each other. The guards train their guns on Jack. Sydney looks like she's about to throw up. Jack does, too. He raises his gun. And that's the end.
Santa Claus has come early to me this year, because this week's a rerun. A merry Judeo-Christian-Muslim-Kwanzaalicious holiday to everyone, and to all a good night! Go rent Out of Sight!