Time Will Tell

Previously: Every single episode of this season is included in the "Previously," but I'll try and hit the high notes: Sloane thinks there's a mole at SD-6; Sydney and her dad make tentative steps toward reconciliation; Sydney steals a polymer disc from a church in Malaga, where she also handcuffs Ana Espinosa to a pew; Sydney goes through Langley procedure and does an information drop as her voice-over explains that she has to go to Oxford to beat Ana to finding the device mentioned in the last episode.

Oxford. Rolling hills of aforementioned university. Small van pulls up. Oh, thank God -- it's Dixon. Dixon and Sydney are doing a little exposition boogie as Dixon asks why the artifact was sent to Oxford. Sydney says for analysis, since their engineering department is one of the best in the world. I'm sure it is, but -- not to get all patriotic and "go USA" -- there are a few world-class institutions of engineering here that SD-6 might have heard of, like, say, Harvey Mudd, Cal Tech, or MIT. Dixon tells Sydney, when she approaches a professor, to get the camera within two feet of him so that Dixon can get an accurate reading on the key card. Sydney finishes struggling into her dress and says, "Got it." Then she asks how she looks. Dixon gives her a kindly smile and tells her that, for the record, she never has to ask that question. Which is totally untrue, and I wish everyone would stop pretending that Jennifer Garner is the second coming of Ava Gardner, because she's not. She's reasonably attractive, but not particularly stunning. I like Dixon's compliment, though -- very in character, gallant without being smarmy. Have I mentioned that I like Dixon?

Sydney tells him to watch his back. He says ditto. She exits the van. Cut to the party. It's veddy, veddy Hollywood British: you know, foppish-looking Caucasian men standing around in bowties. A short man compliments someone on her grasp of engineering principles, which are remarkable for a journalist. The camera pans over to Ana Espinosa, which also reveals the fact that the little guy who was just speaking comes up right to her boobs. He looks pretty pleased about that. Ana says that her family was in demolition. Then she asks if it's true that his department just got some ancient technology in from Tunisia. Short Guy gets all flustered and asks, "Who told you that?" Ana says, "Well, you just did." Wasn't that a line in Austin Powers? How I wish Mike Myers were in this episode.

Sydney walks into the party. Dixon tells her to get closer to a professor so he can tell if he's got a key card on him or not. Sydney's a strawberry blonde in this scene, by the way, and she's wearing a lovely black evening gown with a bizarre excess of fabric on the right shoulder. Also, the "camera" is this bright blue plastic box clipped to the outside of her black satin evening purse. It looks like a MedicAlert device. This is the best Marshall could do?

Dixon tells her that the key card is in the professor's pocket, and to get him to turn toward her so he can get a scan of it. Sydney affects a British accent -- which is at least passable, not execrable like her other attempts -- and tells the professor her foundation is interested in his work: the crashworthiness of transportation vehicles. Dixon feeds her the info after telling her to get the professor to face her for thirty seconds. Sydney spots Ana across the room, and her face tightens. Ana looks at her smugly. The professor says something about "today's economic climate" and Sydney says distractedly, "That is so true," as Dixon tells her that the card is ready. She excuses herself quickly; and the professor looks after her bemusedly. Gosh, I'm even writing this recap all British.

Dixon enters the room holding a tray of champagne. Mmmm, champagne. He passes Sydney the key card along with a glass. Sydney mutters that they should alert the guards that someone's trying to break into the engineering department. Dixon mutters back that that would alert the FTL guards. Sydney says that Ana is there. Dixon says he'll alert the guards. You know, the spy world must be really small. I wonder if they have a clubhouse, like the way the wolf and the sheepdog in those old Warner Brother cartoons would beat the crap out of each other during the workday, then get a drink together as soon as the whistle blew. Oh, right, recap. Whoops.

Sydney slips the key card from the napkin to her bag. Cut to Ana in a deserted hallway, bending over the unconscious professor and riffling through his wallet. She grabs his key card. Ana's dress has a slit so high that we can see things I think were only intended for her significant other and possibly her OB/GYN. She walks down a flight of stairs, only to be confronted by guys with guns. Without missing a beat, Ana says thank God that they're there, since someone's done something terrible to Professor Bloom. She then starts crackin' skulls. One of the guards goes down easily, but the other guy gets her in a chokehold just as Sydney passes by. Sydney smirks and raises her champagne glass, and Ana growls. Heh. Ana does something super-un-cricket and kicks the guard in the toolbox, then proceeds to just beat the crap out of him. I should probably just set up a macro for "kicks the crap out of _____."

Sydney runs to the door of the engineering department, still holding her champagne. She slips her key card through, and then tosses her champagne on the mechanism so it shorts out. Hmmm. I once spilled an entire cup of hot coffee on my keyboard, and it worked just fine (albeit a bit stickily) after I cleaned it up. I wouldn't think a measly four ounces of champagne would do much, but whatever.

Techno. It pulses, it throbs, it hums, it gives me a massive headache. Sydney opens the door and gets inside just as Ana runs up to it. She slams the door shut, and just like Ana in "Parity," Sydney kisses the glass. She gives Ana a sass-tastic "kiss my ass, sucker" look. Then Sydney gives Dixon a blow-by-blow of her progress, including spotting the Rambaldi artifact. Ana is trying to open the door, to no avail. I love phrases like "to no avail."

Ana, desperate, tries her key card -- say it with me -- to no avail. She starts shooting instead. It takes her a few bullets to shatter the glass. Sydney grabs the artifact and takes off through a window just as Ana busts the door open. Ana spies the empty box and open window and runs over to it, just in time to see the van take off down a rainy street.

City Of Angels And Spies. SD-6. Sloane is at his incredibly, frighteningly neat desk, writing something. Jack enters. He tells Sloane that Eloise Kurtz, a new promotion at SD-6, was found shot in Echo Park. Sloane says he knows. Jack says accusingly, "You retired her, didn't you?" Sloane plays the blame game and asks Jack why he sent Eloise to talk to Will Tippett anyway. Jack is forced to do a few exposition boogie steps, saying he sent Eloise Kurtz to talk to Will because Will was digging for info on Kate Jones. Sloane says Eloise Kurtz's lack of experience put them all at risk, as did Will's persistence. I think the real danger is actually Will's hideous bleach job, but no one's asking me. Sloane shakes his head and asks condescendingly what was Jack thinking using a junior agent. Jack snaps that he used Kurtz based on McCullough's assessment of her abilities. He said that he had contingencies, all of which are nowirrelevant. The Kettle Drums Of Doom almost miss their cue, but start pounding as Sloane asks how Tippett got a lead on Kate Jones in the first place. He stands up. For a man who's maybe five feet and some change, Ron Rifkin really does well at projecting lots and lots of menace. Jack says he doesn't know. Sloane says that his efforts notwithstanding, the reporter may be a casualty of his own curiosity. Jack says that he'd like to avoid having anyone else close to Sydney suffer an untimely death, and that he can get him off the story. Sloane asks what will happen if Jack can't get him off the story. Jack says that he'll kill Will himself. Oh, God -- don't tease me like this, ABC! I'm warning you. Sloane looks all twinkly and approving in a frightening way. He nods and walks away. Jack looks bewildered and a little bit scared.

Credits. Oh my God, just now, the credits? I thought we were, like, twenty minutes into the show.

Sydney. Professor from "Parity." They're walking and talking. Sydney's pleading for clemency on a paper. The professor is telling her that her performance has only gotten worse since they spoke about it last. Sydney says that while her analysis of Fitzgerald isn't the best, it's not a D paper. So, is she an English grad student? Would anyone read Fitzgerald in a graduate English program? I think it's more likely that she'd be reading Stanley Fish and taking enormous bong hits to get through it. Just a guess. In case you can't tell, I hate Stanley Fish. Except for his name, which is great. The professor tells her paper had no depth and soul, and that if she doesn't fix it by Friday, he's going to reevaluate her place in the program. Ouch.

Underground parking garage. Sydney walks by a guy talking on his cell phone. She slows down, wondering with the rest of us, "How the hell is he getting a signal?" No fool Sydney, she realizes something is up and starts walking faster. She is worried. Cell Phone Man looks after her. Sydney whips out her own product-placed phone, which reads "no service," and disappears down a row of cars. Cell Phone Man follows her, still holding his phone up, looking for her and talking spastically into the phone. He does a pretty good job of faking a conversation. It's also amusing to hear him speaking so nonchalantly while his eyes dart beadily around the parking garage. He says, "Hold on a second," and then whips around. No one's there. Actually, Sydney is there, but she takes a second to use an overhead pipe for leverage to kick him in the stomach. He lands flat on his back, and she pulls his gun on him while getting his throat in her hands at the same time. He makes this weird little noise that kind of sounds like a fart. Sydney whispers, "Who are you?" over and over again.

SD-6. Sloane. Sydney. Sloane says that Security section says Sydney assaulted one of their officers. Sydney vehemently protests, saying that it was not SOP and the guy was clearly a tracker, that she's seen him three times in the past two days, and that she found a recording device under a car. She tells Sloane that if he wants to know something, just ask her. Sloane, very coolly, says that McCullough assigned the tracker, as was his province, and that SD-6 is an organization that needs to check up on its own. He asks her if she can put this aside and focus. Sydney, laser-beaming him with hate rays, grits that she thinks she can. Jennifer Garner does much better when she's one-on-one with actors who are better than her, I think. It makes her rise to the occasion, or something.

SD-6. Conference room of endless exposition. Sloane fills them in on the artifact Sydney took: it's a clock designed by Giovanni Donato, blah blah blah, 1503, Donato a master clockmaker, blee blee, Rambaldi's only collaborator, bloo hah blah, clock holds more than just devices for telling time. Sloane says, "Go, Marshall," and Marshall says that he knows everyone is hungry for lunch, and then trails off and launches into his lecture. He gets so wrapped up in the mechanism of the clock that he loses everyone for a second. Sydney asks about the date engraved on the clock, and Marshall says that they're looking into it, but so far they've found nothing -- that it's pretty much the one day in history when nothing occurred. Sloane interrupts him to say that the clock is another piece of the Rambaldi puzzle, and that they can't risk analyzing it or getting it to work without damaging it. Sydney's mission is to go to the direct descendent of Donato -- whom SD-6 conveniently found -- and get the clock fixed, since he also happens to be a clockmaker. Oh yeah, and he lives in Positano. Why the heck does it have to be a "direct descendent"? No one bothers to explain why that's important, and I assume it is, unless Sloane just thinks it's neat.

Sydney says, "That's it?" Sloane smiles kindly and says, "That's it." Oooh. Beware of kindly Sloane.

Sydney finds Jack and asks him quietly if he can talk -- also somewhere quiet. Jack takes her to a conference room and takes out a transmission-jammer thingamabob conveniently disguised as a pen. They have sixty seconds to talk. Sydney fills her pops in on her being followed and Sloane insisting that it's SOP. Jack says that he's one of only five agents who knows what SD-6 really is, but lately Sloane's been leaving him out of the loop. He tells Sydney that Marshall found the computer virus while she was in Romania, and that Carl Dryer is coming in -- the guy that Sloane would turn to in order to find a double agent. Jack tells Sydney that he's coming in to upgrade the biometric sensors, and that if he's seeking a mole, it'll be with a functional imaging test. Sydney asks what that is. Jack says it's a lie detector test. Sydney says that she knows how to beat one from the CIA's instructions. Jack tells her that this is an altogether different kind of animal -- that this test measures blood flow inside the brain and is almost impossible to deceive, and Vaughn needs to prepare her, or find someone who can. Just then, his little jammer signals that their time is at an end. Personally, I think that was longer than sixty seconds, but it's nice to see Sydney and her dad getting along for once, even if they are talking about her potential unmasking and execution. You know what they say about the families that play together. Eventually they get divorced just like the other families that don't, but the therapy bills are smaller.

Newsroom of idiots. Will's talking on his headset as La Editress passes by and gives him a dirty look. He tells his mom she has to go, because his boss is walking by. She asks him where the quote from Daniel Hecht's fiance is. Will says he's not doing the story. La Editress points out what a total bonehead Will is, since he pestered her to do this story and is now wussing out. Will actually says the words, "Can you just hold on for a second?" and then says she's right; he's not doing the story. La Editress is disbelieving. Will reiterates. La Editress calls him a bonehead some more. Will says that if the story's going to hurt Sydney, he won't do it. La Editress says incredulously that she can't believe he still hasn't told Sydney yet. She tells him he has until three o'clock the day, and if he doesn't do it, she'll get another reporter. I like La Editress because her sole mission in life seems to be pointing out what a chump Will is, but I think as a boss she'd be scary.

Is the music editor drunk on alt-rock, or what? Some annoying whispery song plays. Sydney's apartment of unlocked doors. Will knocks. She calls out, "It's open." Sydney's working on her paper rewrite, and cracks me up by saying that the professor told her to put more soul in it, so "It's got lotsa soul!" scat-singer style. Will's Nosy Parker-ness asserts itself and he goes through some old leather-bound books and reads a nice inscription from Jack to Sydney's mom. He says it sounds unlike him. Sydney says she's discovering that her father does have a heart, little by little. There's some more boring dialogue, most of which I'm going to gloss over, but the gist of it is that Sydney's going on a lot of trips, and Sydney talks about her work problems in the guise of "embezzlement" from the bank so she can tell Will about the lie detector tests. Will asks if he can make a suggestion for the eightieth time -- Sydney should just quit her job, since she can get a job anywhere. Has Will looked at the want-ad section of the paper he writes for? Unless Sydney scored over 1400 on her SATs and is willing to donate her eggs, there aren't a whole lot of easily-obtained jobs out there for even the best qualified people right now. I hate Will.

Sydney grimaces in agreement, then, apropos of nothing, holds up her hand with her engagement ring on it and says thoughtfully, "I still wear this." Will looks uncomfortable. Just then Sydney gets a call from "Joey's Pizza," and hangs up. She then asks Will what is he doing here. Shouldn't that have happened at the beginning of the conversation? It just seems stilted and contrived here. Is that a dumb rhetorical observation, since we are watching Alias? Oh, well. Will lames that he just came by to say hello. Sydney says, "Hi," all softly and meaningfully. Will does the same back.

Warehouse. Vaughn is giving Sydney a prep lie-detector test, which consists of exactly the questions you think it would, stuff like, "Are you a double agent?" Good to know, though, in case I ever run across one. The machine beeps, and Vaughn tells her that she has to keep the gauge under thirty, since the test monitors the blood flow to "the emotional part" of her brain. God, how I wish I was a neurosurgeon so I could really rip into that statement with some actual knowledge. My mother wishes the same, although probably for not the same reasons. Anyway. Vaughn tells her some gobbledygook about switching her focus, and Sydney gets freaked out and starts hyperventilating about general stress in her life.

Vaughn says she can do this, and asks her a question. She lies, and the gauge stays under thirty. Then he asks her if she's romantically interested in anyone. She gives him a "Who are you kidding?" look. Vaughn shrugs and says, "It could be a question." Sydney says clearly that she's not. The gauge shoots up to fifty-six. Vaughn murmurs, "Interesting." Sydney tells him to ask her that again. He says he doesn't have to, since they have an answer right there. Sydney looks extremely worried. She's silent for a moment, then turns to Vaughn and says, "Hey. If this were for real, I'd be dead right now, wouldn't I?" Vaughn mutters something about them just getting started, but you can tell both of them think she's dead meat. I was so irritated by Vaughn's seventh-grade method of flirting that I forgot to count his forehead crinkles, but there were a lot, so he must be really concerned. It's not that Michael Vartan isn't cute, but the difference between his self-centered method of flirtation really working instead of being irritating lies in a few factorslike, say, having it be George Clooney instead of Michael Vartan.

Positano. Sydney strides through a pleasant-looking courtyard wearing a sleeveless black buttondown, tight black pants, and boots that look suspiciously like the Via Spiga ones I bought four months ago and then returned, realizing that if I can't walk down my own apartment hallway in them, I probably won't wear them much otherwise. I suddenly respect her so much more. She carries the clock in a case, and her oversized black sunglasses make her look more like Scrooge McDuck than Jackie Onassis. There's some techno playing behind her, but I've become inured to it. She enters a building, gets in one of those old-fashioned cage elevators, and goes up a few floors.

She gets to a door and knocks. The peephole opens. Here's where I get to show off the fruits of my liberal-arts education and break down some Italian for you, because for some reason, they only had money in the budget for Romanian subtitles. Sydney says she was hoping for some help; Mr. Donato says he's sorry, but he can't help. He shuts the peephole.

Sydney keeps on talking through the door, telling him that the clock is something he wants to see, saying that it was built for Milo Rambaldi. That does the trick, because Mr. Donato opens the door and asks to see it. Mr. Donato is seriously old. I keep peeking behind him to see if he's trailing gauze wrappings, like a mummy. He says that she is an American, because only an American would come to his door without telephoning. Sydney steps inside and scans his apartment, which is huge, filled with clocks, and has lots of wood paneling. I wonder what he pays in rent.

Mr. Old takes a seat with the clock.