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So if your memory needs refreshing, or if you didn't see The Avengers (there must be people out there who didn't!) S.H.I.E.L.D. stands for "Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division" – self-described as "the line between the world and a weirder world." The S.H.I.E.L.D. organization has James Bond-ian agents who look dashing in suits (well, at least one of them does), speak fluent French, fight like ninjas and use all sorts of neat high-tech gadgetry; however, as Cobie Smulders shows up to tell us (you'll remember her as Agent Maria Hill from the film), in the wake of the events of the alien invasion and the Avengers' defense of New York, the world is turned on to the existence of superheroes, and as such the agency really has its hands full managing what people do with that knowledge. Lucky for them – and you already know this if you've watched any commercials or billboards or really just had your eyes and/or ears open recently – Phil Coulson is alive and in the captain's chair. The "explanation" is that he stopped breathing for a bit but survived after a time in the ICU, and while that's not really a satisfactory explanation for how he lived after being stabbed clean through by a demigod, I doubt anything else would be either so it's wise of the show not to dwell on it. However, there's a secret concerning him of which he's unaware, but it apparently has to do with Tahiti in some way and Hill and the S.H.I.E.L.D. doctor (Shepherd Book from Firefly!) know about it.
So, other than Coulson (Hill doesn't count because Cobie Smulders is committed to Season Five Hundred Three of How I Met Your Mother), who's the S.H.I.E.L.D. team? Well, there's Grant Ward, an incredibly skilled agent with an unspecified dark family history who likes being a lone wolf, Agent Melinda May (Ming-Na Wen) who's been sidelined apparently at her own request for a while but still kicks ass when she's reluctantly drawn back into the field, married British (or –adjacent) tech geeks (engineering and biotech, specifically) Fitz and Simmons, and Skye, a crack hacker who initially regards S.H.I.E.L.D. as The Man but comes around to their way of thinking to join them. Phew!
Now that you've got all that, speaking of entities having issues with S.H.I.E.L.D., there's a "Rising Tide" on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s radar, which seems to be a hacktivist organization akin to Anonymous who are opposed to the kind of secrecy S.H.I.E.L.D. maintains. Meanwhile, Mike Peterson (played by J. August Richards of Angel) is an as-yet-unidentified superhero who's down on his luck. When a building in East LA suffers an explosion, he uses his heightened strength to rescue a woman from the burning structure. Unfortunately, his abilities turn out to be due to some artificial treatments given to him thanks to a shadowy organization (unclear if this could have anything to do with Rising Tide or not) under the project name Centipede, and a side effect seems to be a turn towards extreme violence. S.H.I.E.L.D. soon realizes that Centipede is a throwback to a 1940s program intended to produce supersoldiers, but their treatments have made Peterson a ticking time bomb, both literally and figuratively, so Coulson tasks Fitz/Simmons with figuring out a way to defuse Peterson without killing him. After a tense standoff at Union Station, Coulson talks Peterson down, only to see his agent shoot him in the head – but it was all part of the plan, and Peterson survives without detonating. That was all too brief, Gunn! I hope you work some more!
In the end, S.H.I.E.L.D. hears about an "oh-eight-four" and Coulson goes all Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. The show's got some things to figure out, but I think it could be worth it – hopefully ABC will agree.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Hey there, and welcome to Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.! Before I start, I must apologize – I was three-quarters asleep when I wrote the recaplet and as such missed at least one fairly obvious inference, which I'll mention here in the relevant spot(s). Also, if you don't follow ratings, the premiere did phenomenally well in all demos, so that's one of many, many hurdles cleared. And given that the last Whedon show I recapped was Dollhouse, it's nice to be able to relax for a week or two, at least. Now let's get to it!
Over a montage of city shots, a VO (it's Skye), addressing S.H.I.E.L.D. in the second person, says that for decades, "your organization" hid the truth from people, but now they know – both superheroes and monsters walk among them. To illustrate, we get a series of shots from The Avengers -- Iron Man flying, Thor's hammer, Captain America's shield are among them – and while they do show The Hulk, which is a CGI image owned by Marvel, we do not see any of the other Avengers, because this show must be enough of a production nightmare without dragging approval rights for actors like Robert Downey Jr. into it.
Speaking of likenesses, with a chyron informing us we're now in East Los Angeles, we then cut to an African-American boy of about ten or so looking through a store window at some Avengers action figures, and then J. August Richards (Gunn from Angel, who wins the first-to-screen Whedon alum award for the episode and series) hands "Ace" a hot dog he just bought from a street vendor (whom he thanks by name, for the record) and asks if he'd like to visit his "Aunt Mindy" that weekend. Ace absently says sure, so "Mike Peterson" (we'll learn that's his name soon enough; might as well keep it consistent) acknowledges his son's interest by noting he's got a birthday coming up in a couple months and asking which Avenger (or which of the "Heroes of New York," as they're being advertised) is his favorite. Ace, however, tonelessly says he's okay, so Peterson addresses the unstated "I know you can't afford it, and it sucks" by leaning down and telling his son that things may be tight right now, but he's going to find something – "not back at the factory," but he's got prospects, so there's no need to worry. Ace, perhaps more aware of the job market than most kids his age, doesn't look particularly uplifted, so Peterson tries what seems to be their own private call-and-response by holding out his fist and asking, "You and me, what are we?" Ace brightens just a bit as he bumps it with "We're a team" – whereupon the building catty-corner to them suffers a huge explosion, with flames bursting through all the windows on its uppermost floor. Well, one event isn't usually enough for any kind of conditioning to kick in, but I still think Ace is going to look around warily time he knocks fists with his dad.
People closer to the building try to shield themselves from the showering glass as they run, but Peterson tells Ace to stay with Bernie the hot-dog vendor while he goes to see if anyone needs help. Bernie puts an arm around Ace and pulls him into the protective sphere of his cart's umbrella, a touch I find adorable, while Peterson runs around the building to an isolated spot. After a quick look to make sure no one's watching, he punches straight through the structure's bricks and proceeds to scale the building, punching and kicking out hand- and footholds as he goes. When he reaches the floor in question, he pulls his hoodie over his head to help protect against the smoke before flipping himself through the window; inside, he hears a woman's voice calling desperately for help even as pieces of the place fall all around him.
Meanwhile, down on the sidewalk, people are filming the whole thing with their cameras, which is solid work given that suddenly Peterson comes leaping out of the window with the woman in his arms and lands on his feet with no ill effects, although the city of LA isn't going to be thrilled about the cracks he causes in the street there. I suppose in context it's not that big a deal. One woman in particular (okay, it's Skye, I'm really no good at pretending) gapes in astonishment as Peterson, his hood still up so no looky-loos can see his face, checks on the woman, who took a pack of Chesterfields worth of smoke but is at least conscious. As he stands, Peterson happens to lock eyes with Skye before rushing off; as Skye checks on the woman and Ace watches in wonder, Skye VOs that they can't explain everything they see, but their eyes are open. "So what now -- there are no more shadows to hide in?" As Peterson retrieves his son, Skye's VO continues addressing S.H.I.E.L.D.: "Something impossible just happened. What are you going to do about it?" And with that, we get the show's logo. Three minutes in! I'm on board!
With no break, we cut to Paris, where several S.H.I.E.L.D. cars screech to a halt along the Seine and one agent, after exiting his vehicle, calls an "Agent Ward" to tell him that the "Rising Tide" has discovered the location of "the package," and as such they need to abort their mission. Ward, however, is like look, I'm five minutes away from having it my hands and am also dressed head to toe in black as I cinematically motorcycle my way through the City of Light, so how about not stepping on my moment here? The first agent tells him Rising Tide posted the coordinates of the package online, so even here it's pretty clear that Rising Tide is a hacktivist organization, and although there are different sub-philosophies among such entities the prevailing idea is that information should be openly available, which explains why they'd be diametrically opposed to an opaque organization like S.H.I.E.L.D.
The point is that Ward is now going to have competition for the package, but he's unfazed as he comes to a stop and removes his helmet to reveal a rather handsome young man who is pretty credit-light (the actor's name is Brett Dalton if you want to look him up), not that that's been an issue for Joss in the past. A wider shot reveals he's parked in front of a bistro (not that that's exactly a revelation in Paris; I'm surprised not to also see a crepe stand), but the plot thickens as he smoothly pulls a silver tray out from under his jacket as he enters the place. Cut to him emerging from the kitchen, having ditched his outer layer to reveal a smart waiter's uniform underneath and picked up a cloth for his tray, and getting a directive in his ear that he's looking for the gentleman by the window wearing a red tie; he quickly makes his way over to the man in question, who's a silver fox with hair almost to his shoulders, and asks if he can take his empty glass. And I have no problem with the close-up on Red Tie indicating that Ward's line was dubbed, but I have to point out that the editing removes all doubt by starting the sound while we're still on a non-speaking Ward. Red Tie, however, does not seem to be fazed that the French voice came from a ventriloquist as he gives his assent, and presently, Ward is walking from the restaurant up a circular staircase while scanning the glass into the tray, which apparently has a fingerprint reader built into it. Form and function!
Cut to Ward entering an apartment, inside which he hears a woman singing in French on the sound system. After a quick sweep of the place using some kind of high-tech electronic scanner, he locates a safe behind a painting above the mantel, which, I have to imagine, would also have been the first place he'd have looked without benefit of gadgetry. It's cooler this way, though. The thing has a fingerprint scanner, so he takes the cloth, which apparently is now marked with Red Tie's fingerprints, and holds it up to the thing, which causes the entire wall to slide up like we're in a haunted house on Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? Ward refrains from any "Zoinks" or "Jinkies," however. Inside, there are many briefcases with undoubtedly sensitive contents and also a lot of money, but Ward is only interested in a small black pouch which he quickly grabs and heads out – only to see a blonde woman, her black bra peering out from under her light robe, staring impassively at him. She's holding a wooden spoon, and since just about anything she could have picked up would make a better weapon, either he caught her mid-bake or she's proposing some sort of punishment fantasy. Unfortunately, his line of "Your fireplace is broken" makes little of the possibilities both in delivery and content, but we don't have long to dwell on that as two men come rushing in, and since one of them shouts "There he is!" in French I'm guessing the woman tipped them off, probably by silent alarm since she's obviously not being paid SAG speaking rates here.
Ward gets to the fighting, which causes the demise of much of the nearby furniture and prompts the woman, who's doing the best acting job in the room despite her non-speaking status, to ride a massive eye-roll out of there and possibly get back to her baking and/or dominatrix activities. Ward hears in his ear that he has possible hostiles in his area and chokes out a "Really?" in response while the woman proves me wrong by reappearing with a jacket on and heading out. The blender is another prominent casualty of the fight, but soon enough, Ward knocks out both his assailants. Cut to the roof as a helicopter comes in and drops him a line, and he rides off with his mission completed. It's too bad it's so foggy, because that's a hell of a way to see Paris.
Before we're even out of the scene, we hear Cobie Smulders' distinctive voice asking, "What does S.H.I.E.L.D. stand for, Agent Ward?" Oh, I know this one! So does he, as with the two of them sitting in a conference/interrogation room, all harsh lights and dark corners, he correctly recites "Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division," but rather than give him a gold star, Agent Hill (you may remember her from the Avengers movie) asks what that means to him. He replies that it sounds like someone really wanted their initials to spell "shield," and while I have no doubt that that's true, it doesn't stop Hill from giving him a stony, withering glare like she's the principal and he's an unruly child. Seeing her lack of amusement, Ward tells her S.H.I.E.L.D. is the line "between the world and the much weirder world" – they protect regular people from stuff they're not ready to know about yet and keep them safe. To wit, he produces the pouch and removes from it what could pass for a large ethnic brooch but he describes as a "Chitauri neural link," which he then slides over the table to Hill. After a chyron lets us know we're in Hill's field office at a classified location, a close-up shows it's shaped in a convex design like a small tortoise shell but has fairly ornate raised detail on it, and I still say "brooch" but it sure has some other use as well.
Hill puts it into a case held by a waiting attendant as she asks who "Van Chat" (Mr. O'Cat?) intended to sell the thing to, but Ward is more concerned with figuring out how Rising Tide knew about it: "I thought they were just hackers. What changed?" They decided they didn't want to let Anonymous have all the fun? Hill thinks that it's emblematic of the way the world is changing after the events of The Avengers; after taking a moment to give a shout-out to Thor's guns (woman may be tough, but she's not blind), she explains, "The battle of New York was the end of the world. This, now, is the new world." She goes on that people have access to secrets and technology they're not ready for, prompting Ward to ask why he was pulled out of Paris. Hill tells him that he'll have to ask Coulson about that, to which Ward somewhat condescendingly tells her as someone with Clearance Level Six, he knows Coulson was killed in action. Congratulations, Ward, your fancy clearance level got you the same information as anyone with $12.50 to spare in April 2012. And regardless, he has to eat his words when from out of the shadows steps a smiling Coulson: "Welcome to Level Seven." Ward gets to his feet, looking not shocked but definitely unamused, so Coulson adds: "Sorry, that corner was really dark and I couldn't help myself. I think there's a bulb out." HA! First authoritative Whedon touch, right there. Hee.
Back in LA, Peterson is walking down the street consulting what are surely want ads in his hand when we see Skye surreptitiously watching him from the bus stop he just passed. She hustles after him, while back at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, Ward infers that Fury faked Coulson's death to motivate the Avengers. Hill agrees that the death of a common ally is a powerful motivator (although you'll notice her wording is careful not to agree with Ward's statement wholesale), and then Coulson adds that it wasn't much of a stretch, since he stopped breathing for forty seconds. Hill: "Eight. It gets longer every time you tell it." I wish she could stick around instead of having to go back for Season Nine -- Nine of How I Met Your Mother. (I mean, I used to love that show, but come on.) Coulson comes right back with "when you get shanked by the Asgardian Mussolini (HA! That really is Tom Hiddleston's Loki) you can tell it your way," and then Ward asks if the Avengers know Fury played them, to which Hill shrugs: "They're not Level Seven." Nice.
Coulson says he convalesced in Tahiti, and Ward points out that something must have put him back in the game, but just then they reach a control room in which, on one of the many monitors, they see a replay of Peterson jumping safely from the building in LA. Other videos play as we hear Skye's address to S.H.I.E.L.D. from earlier, prompting Ward to wonder again how Rising Tide is getting this stuff before they are. Coulson: "Same way they cracked our RSA implementation. They're good. So I need better." Hill informs Ward that Coulson has requisitioned a mobile command unit to which he is now assigned, and Coulson smiles that Rising Tide has been trying to draw them out, so it's time they obliged. Ward asks if they want him to "cross them off," but Coulson's like, easy there, cowboy – I just want to use them to get to our unknown LA superhero, as his world must be turning upside down and he's going to need some help.
Ward makes a speech about how he was trained as a specialist and doesn't play well with others and whatever, and Coulson says he knows as he starts leafing through a binder, adding that Hill did an assessment of his last three missions. "Combat, top grades. Espionage, she gave you the highest marks since Romanoff [gee, who might that be?]. Under people skills, she drew a… I think it's a little poop! With knives sticking out of it!" Hee. Even Ward gets a WTF look on his face while Hill also loses her stoic expression for a moment as she starts to explain and then gives up, and Coulson lays the seeds of some more backstory by adding that he's surprised Ward's people skills aren't even worse given his family history, but he still thinks he's the guy for this mission, and if he's wrong, Ward can go back to his bombs.
Ward doesn't look thrilled, but he doesn't get to reply, as a "Dr. Streiten," played by the wonderful Ron Glass who was Shepherd Book on Firefly, comes in to say the team's physicals are all good, although "Fitzsimmons" isn't approved for combat and if anything Ward is "too fit." Ward starts to babble that maybe he shouldn't be on the team, then, but Hill neither looks up nor lets him finish: "God, are you dismissed." Hee. Ward follows the order, whereupon Hill tightly informs a grinning Coulson that her illustration was a porcupine, not a poop, thank you very much, and by the way, it's not just Ward – Coulson's whole team is sketchy. Streiten adds that he would love to see Coulson rest up some more, but Coulson assures him he's fine. Hill softens a bit for the first time as she steps forward and asks if he's sure, whereupon Coulson somewhat dreamily tells her she should go to Tahiti sometime. "It's a magical place." He walks off, whereupon Streiten sighs, "'Tahiti'. He really doesn't know, does he?" Hill ruefully replies that he can never know, and that's a lot happening for only the first commercial break.
So again, in my dim haze of consciousness I didn't connect the dots, but in the light of day it seems blindingly obvious that Coulson did actually die in the Avengers, as seemed clear. So whatever he is now isn't the original Coulson – a clone would be the overwhelmingly likely answer, although knowing Joss it's possible it's something else or there's an extra twist in there somewhere. Whatever it is, I'm glad of it not only because it fits better with the events of the movie and is more interesting story-wise but because one of the only things about the pilot that doesn't really work for me is Coulson's near-unrelenting cheerfulness; I find it one-note as well as a little tonally jarring, so I think his inevitable discovery of what actually happened will both make him more layered and bring him some pathos that seems more in tune with this universe. Moving on!
In a coffee shop somewhere, Peterson is still checking over the classifieds as news coverage of the rescue plays; the woman he saved, who understandably still seems a bit dazed and confused, talks about wanting to know who her savior is so she can thank him, and Peterson seems gratified, but then Skye appears out of nowhere, plops down into the seat across from him, and tells him to act natural, as they can't know who's listening. He does not so much understand what she's on about, so she introduces herself before telling him he's "the Hooded Hero" and eye-rollingly hoping he's not staying with that name, and I know the hot female hacker is nerdnip and I'm actually fine with the character so far on balance (I also liked the actress, Chloe Bennett, quite a bit on Nashville) but let's calm down with the overfamiliarity here, honey. He tries to deny being anything other than a factory worker, but she's like, hi, I saw you and you know I saw you, and then she dorks out a bit about him being a superhero before getting herself under control and telling him he's in danger. He tries to deny his other identity again, which frankly is getting tiresome so I can't blame her for completely ignoring it this time, but now she goes off about how he should be out screwing the girl he saved (that's got to be a violation of superhero ethics) instead of hiding, like, is he in danger or not, lady?
Peterson at least is on the same page as he asks her that very question, so she tells him about S.H.I.E.L.D., which she describes as "scary men in dark suits who come after guys like you." She goes on that they cleaned up after the Battle of New York before anyone could really ask any questions: "How long do you think it'll take for them to clean you up?" He's like, and yet you ask why I'm hiding, but her point is that he should let people know he's a hero, and I'm still not clear how that would necessarily protect him from S.H.I.E.L.D., but the idea that it could lead to opportunities for some financial gain is reasonable enough. She offers to help him, saying she's "weirdly great" with computers, but when she floats the idea of a mask, he's like, lates! Following him, she nixes that idea but tells him he needs her help. "With great power comes…a ton of weird crap that you are not prepared to deal with!" HA! Awesome. She tells him she lives in a van "by choice," and it's always parked around the corner so he should stop by. He thanks her, wearily but not entirely insincerely, and as he walks out she gives him a cheery wave and smile: "They're coming for you!" Hee. When he's gone, though, we see that she swiped his driver's license. Hey now, he's trying to find a job! Not cool!
Back at S.H.I.E.L.D., in what looks like the office equivalent of a spooky attic with a single candle burning on a desk, Ming-Na Wen is collating and stapling and doing things you'd think a high-tech government office would have automated like forty years ago, but this is all to underscore the fact that she is NOT going back in the field, as she tells Coulson after he asks "Agent May" if she's been briefed. With that same unflappable smile, he tells her he just needs her to "drive the bus" – liaise ground transpo, do some on-site supervision – no combat stuff. May still is reluctant, but Coulson assures her that they'll be running the operation themselves – no red tape. I don't know if we're meant to think bureaucratic interference was at all to blame for whatever past trauma sidelined May, but it's another entry on what's become a rather long list of backstory to keep an eye out for. Coulson then makes a joke about red tape that gets a small smile from May, and when "Melinda" inquires if she he's really just asking her to drive the bus, Coulson replies that he's not asking. "But it's a really nice bus." I have the feeling it's not going to be worth even posing the question of whether we're actually talking about a bus here.
And, I'm correct, as we cut to Ward in a hangar approaching a rather large (given the size of the crew) black plane. The ramp in the back is down, and when Ward makes his way around he sees a young man and a woman amid a pile of luggage fussing in British-accented (well actually, he sounds Scottish) double-time nerd-speak over the efficacy of a gun they have with them (and also whether it should be called "the night-night gun," and a nod to the woman for taking the con position on that). They end up trying to tech-babble over each other until Ward thankfully drops his bag onto the floor with a loud thump and asks, "Fitzsimmons?" The girl brightly points to the guy with a "Fitz" while the guy reverses the process with "Simmons," and all I can say is I wouldn't want to be tasked with their security at Comic-Con year. (Oh, also, I said in the recaplet that these two are married, but while I read that someplace there's nothing in the episode to support it, so: Withdrawn.)
Fitz then adds that he's engineering while Simmons is biochem, and then Ward hands over his comm receiver to be encoded, adding that he doesn't know if Fitz has worked with the model before. "It's" – Fitz takes a mallet and smashes it – "brand new." Well, if nothing else, these two are improving Ward's deadpan delivery. Fitz explains that they don't use an external receiver for his inner-ear comm anymore, and when Ward opens his mouth to ask how, then, they manage the signals, Simmons attacks him with a cheek swab: "Embedded sensory-neural silicone matched to your DNA. It's very posh!" Heh. After Simmons asks if he's excited about their "journey into mystery" and Ward flatly snarks that it's "like Christmas," the squeal of tires heralds Coulson pulling up in a vintage red Corvette (and yes, it's little), and Fitz tells Ward that it's one of Coulson's S.H.I.E.L.D. collectibles – it's got flamethrowers and the first-ever GPS. "He's mad for this crap." To underscore that, Coulson sternly warns an approaching tech, "Don't touch Lola." Heh. Fitz laughs about the nickname before slapping Ward on the back, and I have to give Hill some credit because I could definitely see Ward's ensuing facial expression on an angry porcupine.
Cut to Coulson and Ward ascending the plane's internal stairs to the living area as he says that Lola represents the fact that "new" does not always mean "improved," and after his attempt to tell a "Did you hear the one about" joke dies when Ward fails to pick up the cue, May appears in S.H.I.E.L.D. attire and tells Coulson they may have a hit on one of the Rising Tide's routing points. Coulson takes her supporting materials, and when she's gone Ward, who visibly perked up when he saw her, asks if that's who he thinks it is. Coulson assures Ward that May is just the pilot, but Ward clearly doesn't believe him, and if her reputation has made such an impression on Ward, who has no use for other agents and is pretty damn good himself, I can't wait to find out more about her. The plane takes off as Skye's voice starts up again: "How will you come at us. From the air?"
Cut to her van in the aforementioned alley. "From the ground? How will you silence us this time? How can you?" The plane takes off as Skye continues that the truth is in the wind, and then inside her van, we see all manner of tech equipment as she adds, "You cannot stop the Rising Tide. You will not find us. You will never see our faces. But rest assured, we will rise against those who shield us (nice) from the truth, and nothing, nothing can stop us" – at which point her van door slides open to reveal Coulson's smiling visage. Hee. Ward's also there in his best G-man shades and stiff-backed posture, and Skye tries to be like, heeeeeey, but he stuffs a bag over her head, which sends us to commercial. Don't steal her wifi, everyone!
Coulson and Ward lead Skye onto the plane and into an interrogation room wherein Ward roughly removes the bag and Coulson apologizes for the "lack of finesse," adding that Ward has had a bit of history with the Rising Tide. Even though Skye seemed to be speaking on their behalf, I'm not really sure about her affiliation with Rising Tide – she doesn't really seem the time to have any connections to criminal espionage, so the organization's structure seems likely to be loose at best, if she's even really involved with them at all. Anyway, Ward tells her there are two ways they can do this, and Skye smiles condescendingly and asks if one of them's the easy way. Ward: "No." Hee. Ward asks her name, and when she tells him "Skye," he asks for her real name, but Coulson defers that line of questioning by saying it's a different name they need – that of the Hooded Hero. Skye asks why they think she'd know, so Coulson tells her that the video she shot of the HH had the same "cryptographic signature" as a few of the Rising Tide posts. Instead of being impressed, though, Skye points out that the result of all that is that she's now inside their secret headquarters, and since they can't break her encryptions, they've got nothing to link her to anything, really. Coulson, however, basically tells her to cut the shit and tell him what his team is going to find at the building in question – at which, as it happens, said team is just arriving.
May checks out the holes in the street marking where the HH landed, and back on the plane, Ward asks Skye if she set off the explosion to draw the HH out. Skye retorts, "Did you?" which is a fair enough question, before adding that S.H.I.E.L.D. covered up "New Mexico" and "Project Pegasus. Of course you'd be covering up Centipede." Coulson and Ward exchange "Centipede in the who now" glances, which prove not to be surreptitious enough as Skye immediately realizes they don't know what it is: "Billions of dollars in equipment at your disposal and I beat you with a laptop that I won in a bet?" Sure, in that tone of voice it sounds bad. Coulson leans forward and points out that they're not the only organization out there interested in people with powers, and while they only want to contain him, if one of the others gets to him he might not be so lucky. Ward Bad Cops: "What is Centipede?" You've had your fun, Skye, but I'd tell him before he actually gets mad.
With Ace sitting and tossing a basketball in the air, Peterson is on the phone in his rather nice-looking apartment, which admittedly looks a little less inviting now that he's received a notice to vacate. He addresses the person on the other end as "Doctor" before going on that people saw what he can do, and his/her "product" works, so why wouldn't they want to tell people about it? He rolls up his sleeve to reveal a metallic attachment in the shape of a centipede (well, with six divisions instead of a hundred) with the torso of each section exuding an amber light. We don't hear the other end of the conversation, but it doesn't go well, as the doctor obviously refuses the idea of taking the "product" public and Peterson asks what he's supposed to do, then – go back to a factory at which he couldn't even get workman's comp? That is pretty bad, but he still gets nowhere, and after looking at a photo of him with (presumably) Ace's mother, he throws his phone in frustration at it, shattering the glass in the frame. Peterson, we'll learn that you're not completely in control of your actions, but best of luck explaining that to your son.
Up on the burned-out top floor, Simmons realizes that the place was a lab and wonders if it was leased as such, and May dryly replies, "Self-empowerment center. With a top-of-the-line motion-sensor security system." Hey, you don't want people empowering themselves for free! Simmons, cheerily unfazed by the charred corpses around her in the vein of stars of The Bridge or maybe Bones, chuckles that it was a secret lab, and May adds that as such the superhero showing up couldn't have been a coincidence and wonders if the explosion might have been meant for him. Noticing that Fitz, unlike Simmons, is treading rather prissily around all the destruction, she advises that he's going to have to get his hands dirty if he wants to be in the field, but he's like, actually, I don't – and with that, he releases several small drones that emit scanning beams as they fan out. I'll accept the obvious setup with that kind of delivery.
Back on the plane, Skye is explaining that there was chatter on the Web about Centipede, and she traced the origin to the building in question. Ward asks what she's after, and when she archly tells him "the truth" and turns the question around, he replies, "World peace." It's funny because it's true. He accuses her of being a "pseudo-anarchist hacker type" who loves to stir things up and tells her that people keep secrets for a reason, punctuating that by pointedly repeating her alias. After more testimony that Ward's chest was wrought from iron (I'm sure Mr. Dalton's people are sending out checks right and left, but until we get a shirtless scene, I'll consider the jury out), Skye asks them to let her talk to the HH, "not the T-1000 here," but this just makes Ward peg her as a groupie. "She might as well be one of those sweaty cosplay girls crowding around Stark Tower." I'm going to chance that it's okay to laugh at that one. Skye's like, I am OFFENDED and by the way that was only one time, and then Coulson pulls Ward out of there to ask if Skye's perchance getting under his skin, or is it just the assignment. "Are you so anxious to get out of this that you'd deliberately blow an interrogation?" Sorry, Phil, but I can't say you're doing all that much to focus the questioning either. But I'm generally a fan, so please don't use Lola's flamethrower on me.
Ward tells Coulson that if he just gives him a minute alone with her, he'll get answers, and when Coulson points out that she's an asset, Ward agrees that "she's such an a…wait, asset?" Hee. Coulson explains that they, S.H.I.E.L.D., do not know one thing about Skye, which never ever has happened with any other person, and then opens a case to reveal a complex and nasty-looking gun-shaped instrument as he intones that they need what she knows. Girl, you'd better talk, because that thing looks like it can break more than your encryption.
Back at the building, after Simmons explains to May that each of the drones is focused on a different task, Fitz says he's got something on "Bashful," and from the number of drones and the fact that he sang the "Heigh-ho" work song when he deployed them, he clearly named them after the Seven Dwarfs, although I was kind of rooting for the origin to be Pac-Man. May finds a security camera she pronounces "deep-fried," but Fitz tells her the model has flash memory he might be able to access to get some pre-blast images. Simmons then says that "Snow" is reading some compounds, and as she picks up an ornate vial with a familiar amber glow, she pronounces them "not of this earth" with all appropriate wonder in her voice. I'd wonder if she's jumping to conclusions, but extraterrestrial compounds do seem a lot more likely post-Battle of New York. I wish I didn't know these things, S.H.I.E.L.D.! I'm not ready to handle them!
Speaking of, back at the plane, Coulson is informing Skye that in his hand is a new, extremely potent truth serum, "the top-shelf martini of sodium pentothal derivatives," and the effects last about an hour. Walking over to Coulson, Ward starts to gloat – whereupon Coulson turns and injects him with the serum. Awesome. Ward is like, WTF, and when Coulson asks if that hurt, he says no, but Coulson should still never do that to a member of his team. "And yes, it did hurt a little bit, but I always try and [sic] mask my pain in front of beautiful women 'cause I think it makes me seem more masculine. My God, this stuff works fast." Ha! Coulson is like, you don't trust us, so here are all S.H.I.E.L.D.'s secrets – ask him whatever you want. He doesn't even mention the level 6/7 clearance, but Skye's still got a shit-eating smirk on her face as Ward calls after Coulson that this is definitely not protocol. Heh. Skye presses her advantage by removing her jacket to reveal her cleavage-baring top as she purrs that Ward seems nervous. Ward tells her he will NOT reveal government secrets, but when she quickly asks if he's killed anyone, he admits that he has, a few, but they were terrible people bent on hurting nice people. Skye asks if his grandmother knows about this, and Ward's voice breaks as he asks, "Gramzy?" So cheap, but I love it.
Workman's comp or no, Peterson has apparently decided to try the factory again, but his former boss "Gary" (played by total Hey! It's That Guy! Bob Stephenson) tells him that it's company policy – he didn't meet quota, so he had to let him go. Peterson keeps at it, so Gary tells him even if he could hire him back, he's got a hundred people in line for the job who "won't bitch when their back hurts." As someone who's experienced a whole lot of back pain, I have to say I can't imagine not bitching about it. Peterson tells Gary he's stronger now, so I guess there's our motivation for him taking part in Centipede, but Gary isn't impressed, so Peterson, losing his temper, shoves a big wheeled stack of stuff into what looks like a generator, shorting it out, before grabbing Gary by the face and throwing him ass over teakettle into a stack of large pieces of pipe. Peterson speechifies about how Gary's dealing with people, not parts to be replaced, as he grabs a metal tank full of, I think, compressed gas. Gary pleadingly says he's not the bad guy, it's the company, but Peterson's face goes dangerously contemplative: "Yes you are. It's simple now. Just like we used to read about. You're the bad guy. And I'm the hero." With that, he swings the tank overhead and brings it down on Gary, and although we tastefully go to commercial I think at best Gary's going to be wishing for some good workman's comp here.
It's night, and as they watch Ward now with his head down on the desk in the interrogation room (aw), Coulson asks Skye if Ward gave him anything, and Skye replies that he's been to Paris but he's never really seen it, and he also wishes Coulson had stayed in Tahiti, to which Coulson replies, "It's a magical place." And if I didn't catch the obvious inference about Tahiti on first view I certainly didn't catch this, but the way he uses the exact same phrase makes on mention of the place makes it seem almost like a Pavlovian response, which is intriguing, although he could just be evangelizing about it. Skye adds that Ward doesn't like Coulson's style, but she's definitely warming to it, to which Coulson inquires, "What about his?" With that, he shows her footage of Peterson attacking Gary, and Skye is flummoxed, as it doesn't fit with her interaction with Peterson at all. Coulson gently suggests she help them help Peterson, and just like that, we cut to a close-up of the purloined license, and J. August Richards looks so young in the photo it reminds me of Angel all over again.
The license is scanned, at which point a wealth of information appears on the clear display table in front of May, Fitz, and Simmons as Coulson explains that Peterson's wife left him after he hurt his back and lost his job (Rude!), and he's guessing that someone approached Peterson with an offer to make him strong again. May wonders who has the tech to do that and why they'd want to, so Fitz plays what he's been able to reconstruct from the security footage, but although the video of a guy angry at a lab-coated man is acceptable, if grainy, there's no audio – only Skye pipes up that she was running audio surveillance on the place and had her shotgun mike pointed at it, and although there was too much background noise for her to make anything of it, Fitz could probably sufficiently clean it up. Fitz and Simmons then have one of their technobabble hive-mind asides that are probably going to decide whether they're really cute or really annoying soon enough before allowing that yes, they can do it. Coulson tells Skye that her van, which has the audio files in question, is on-site but, as she predicted, they couldn't break her encryptions, so she explains that her encryption is coupled to her GPS, which will necessitate a return to the alley. Coulson instructs May to accompany Skye, "and on your way out, wake up Ward." I wonder if his first groggy word will be "Gramsy," and if so, what May's answering expression will be.
In a hospital, Peterson enters a room, flowers in hand, and we see he's come to visit the woman he saved. She looks a little taken aback but tells him it's so nice to see him – until the nurse leaves, at which point she drops the act and asks what the hell he's doing there. Looking under some strain, he addresses her as "Doctor" and says he doesn't know where to go, at which point she hops out of bed and sternly reminds him he said he could keep it together. "Our first subject lost it; walked into the lab with a freakin' bomb." Peterson, getting more agitated, grabs her and says he saved her, but she spits that he exposed her and "the program." "The people who gave me this technology, they are very serious and they do not want to be revealed. Mike Peterson needs to disappear." Well, be that all as it may, you were kind of shrieking your head off for help up there. Don't take his head off about it now. Sounding still unstable but more steely, Peterson says she's right – he's not Peterson anymore. "I'm someone else now." The doctor isn't fooled as she says he's merely "juiced" and losing it before proclaiming the whole situation a disaster, but Peterson, heading for the window, turns back to tell her no: "It's an origin story." With that, he drops out the window, and I admire your confidence, Peterson, but you'll forgive me if I say no one's commissioning the action figures just yet.
In the van, Skye sends the audio files to Fitz, and after he stumbles over a few sexual double entendres that aren't worth repeating, we discover that Coulson has just learned from Simmons that the alien metal was not the source of the explosion, although she does continue that it's loaded with gamma radiation. Ward, looking ready to spit nails, marches in and gets a status report, and then Coulson compliments his work, which makes Ward look so sour I'm worried he might actually swallow his cheeks. Fitz keeps running around on waves of nervous energy and technobabble, but the upshot is a 3-D holographic recreation of the lab events before the explosion, with Peterson's predecessor, a wide-eyed psycho with a centipede just like Peterson's on his arm, berating the lab guy about seeing the doctor. Simmons pipes up that the centipede thingy is "an intravenous filter for his blood. This goo, sir? Very similar to the serum Dr. Erkine developed in the forties for the" – "supersoldiers," Coulson finishes. Simmons goes on that what was in the lab was basically a superhero cocktail – the alien metal, the gamma rays, and the goo are all known sources of superhero powers and someone was trying to use them all at once. Coulson says they need to see the origin of the blast and instructs Fitz to run it back from the last point recorded, and Coulson, I bet you read the last page of all your books first, too.
Back in the van, Skye surreptitiously sticks what looks like a small photo image of something (although it could easily be some kind of data storage; we don't get the clearest look at it) in her bra before telling May, who's standing outside, that she's done, and May says they should head back – but then Peterson jumps down from above her and throws her into the wall, knocking her out. Skye fearfully asks what he's doing, so Peterson tells her he's simply saving her from the scary men in dark suits – "and you're gonna help save us." Skye wonders who the "us" is and gets the answer she doesn't want when Peterson yanks Ace into view; he pulls him into the van and tells him not to cry before doing the "What are we?" call again, and Ace is there with the response as always. Peterson tells Skye to drive, and for someone who wanted the truth about superheroes she's gotten more than she bargained for this episode, no?
Back on the plane, the reverse play causes the explosion to coalesce into Peterson's crazy-eyed predecessor, and Coulson pronounces the explosive agent as "Extremis. It's new. Completely unstable." This is a bit confusing, at least to me, because my research shows that Extremis has its roots in the Iron Man comic mythology and was adapted for the Marvel cinematic universe into something different, but to call it "new" makes no sense unless he's referring to the explosive aspect of it, which does seem not to have happened before. Anyway, Simmons moans that Peterson has the same stuff in his system, and Ward adds that from his strength level, he's probably got a lot more of it. Simmons projects that if he explodes, he'll kill everyone within a two-block radius, and Coulson looks at Ward: "Well, you wanted a bomb." I don't mean to be Ward's defense attorney, but how is this his fault? You put him to sleep! Still, a shot of Peterson looking fairly bomb-like sends us into the last commercial break.
Simmons, with Fitz in tow, tells Coulson that while keeping Peterson calm will buy them a little more time, he will detonate within the few hours, which leaves them two options – clear the area and allow him to explode, or put a bullet in his head – shutting down his brain will prevent the blast. Coulson, however, charges them with coming up with a third option, and when Simmons starts to protest, he snaps that he doesn't want to hear "can't" from them. "It's on you. Get it done." I don't know how motivating that was, but it shut up their back-and-forth chatter, at least. Coulson then checks in with May, who is none too thrilled about Peterson taking Skye or manhandling her but correctly says they need to figure out where Peterson's gone. The redemptive ass-kicking can wait, but I've no doubt it's coming.
Outside Union Station, Skye is doing some hack-fu to prevent Peterson's face from triggering any security alerts; she's basically making it so he doesn't exist. When he asks how he knows she can really do this, which I have to say is a bit of a manufactured line given the situation, Skye grimly tells him she's done it before. Since we know S.H.I.E.L.D. couldn't find anything on her, I'm guessing she erased herself, but her uncharacteristically somber delivery suggests there's a story there, which of course you'd expect but now I want to hear.
Back on the plane, Fitz is running around like a Scottish chicken with its head cut off trying to get "more paralysis," which given their discussion about it before is a giveaway that he's trying to strengthen the effect of the night-night gun (for extreme want of a better name). Simmons cheerleads him, but she then gets as agitated as he is when someone hacks through their security with some numbers – except, as Coulson appears to tell them, the numbers are coordinates sent from Skye. Ward and Coulson head out, while a sweaty Peterson tries to pretend everything's okay in telling Ace that they'll take the "nice lady" with them on the train to a better life, and it's obvious no one, even Peterson, is buying what he's selling so I kind of wish Ace would tell him it's okay to stop talking now.
At Union Station, Ward, referring to how many people are around, asks if Coulson's really going to risk thousands of lives "over some nobody," to which Coulson replies, "Nobody's nobody, Ward." Okay, fair enough, but I'd be interested to hear his pithy reply to the question, "You're going to risk thousands of lives over one person?" Choose your words more carefully, Ward. Once they reach the van (which has been suspiciously parked in a loading area for faaaaaaar too long, by the way), Coulson announces through a bullhorn that they're not a threat, but that doesn't stop Peterson from sending the door flying. With Coulson and Ward having snipered to the ground, Peterson grabs Skye and Ace and hustles them inside, but Skye, seeing a group of toughs, boots one of them in the balls before remarking to Peterson, "You're right – he is a little bitch!" I guess I have to admire her quick thinking even as I cross my legs tightly. The guy's friends come at Peterson, affording Skye the chance to slip away, and we cut to a wide shot before seeing one of the dudes majestically curve over the ground like he just jumped off a trampoline. Hopefully the people he's landing on have had some mosh-pit experience.
In a nearby car, the doctor, her face still looking the worse for wear, nods to a guy in her back seat who's wearing a police uniform but I'm guessing is not actually one of Los Angeles' finest, and he gets out, shotgun in hand. Inside, with Peterson still tangled up, Coulson hands Ace off to a uniform. Peterson calls for Ace, but Ward puts him in a chokehold from behind and explains that the stuff inside him could kill everyone in there. Peterson, however, is unimpressed and flips Ace to the hard marble floor; before you know it, he's grabbed Skye and run her outside in spite of a shot from the fake policeman. As May arrives, Coulson tells her that they may have a third party involved now (as the real policemen were instructed not to shoot) before sending Ward to the higher train tracks while he checks out the lower. Upstairs, Skye tells Peterson that S.H.I.E.L.D. can help him, but he doesn't want to hear it; looking out at the station's lobby from high above, he looks for Ace, but then the fake policeman appears from behind and shoots, his second bullet connecting and sending Peterson over the edge (Peterson had already tossed Skye aside to cover). The guy then aims to take care of Skye, but from behind him May comes out of nowhere and collapses the back of his leg, and in a flurry of kicks and punches, Fake Cop is down. It took like two and a quarter seconds, but if this means she's back in the field, I'll take it.
Of course, the fall didn't do anything to damage Peterson – except the amber is now starting to glow through spots on his face, which can't be good. Coulson walks forward and places his gun on the floor, but Peterson points out that hardly means anything with all the agents in position around them. "I know how this plays out." Coulson counters that he doesn't, but he does know Peterson is about to explode. As Ward advises Coulson that he's got a clear shot, Peterson pleadingly says that he's a good person, but "you took" his job, his wife, and his house. "All over, there's people being pushed down, being robbed. One of them tries to stand up, you gotta make an example out of him." I'm not sure this bit of social commentary is the strength of the episode, but he is under a lot of strain at the moment. But the schmaltzy music isn't helping, either. He steps forward and speechifies about how he was told it was enough to be a man, but now there are gods who can crush them in an instant.
Coulson steps forward and says he knows – referring to his ("his"?) death ("death"?), he says he's seen them up close, and that privilege cost him, but the real heroes among them are such not because of their power but because of what they do with it. The rest of this episode is pretty solid, but this exchange could have used a polish or three. It's a little too early for the show to have earned a scene of such unwavering sincerity. Not that J. August Richards isn't doing his best to sell it as, tears in his eyes, he tells Coulson he could be a hero – and then he's felled by a shot to his forehead. Even with the kind-of-giveaway before, it's so sudden as to be effective, but Simmons comes rushing up, examines his eye for movement, and looks up at everyone with a relieved smile, so apparently they've tranquilized his brain, which evidently will allow them to get the goo out of Peterson's system without it detonating. Fitz gives Simmons a cute thumbs-up, and even Ward (who's holding the night-night gun instead of the rifle he had earlier) and Coulson share an appreciative smile, so I guess Ward's feeling the benefit of working as a team. Can't wait until the mission where he has to share a room with Fitz. Back at S.H.I.E.L.D., Hill hears what happened and looks impressed with the band of misfits before walking out to get a drink, probably at MacLaren's, I'm sad to say.
In some rural area, Coulson and Skye have just left Ace with, I'm guessing, the aforementioned aunt, and Skye takes a moment to reflect on the fact that they just almost died. Coulson doesn't mention Tahiti being a magical place in response, but as they walk back to Lola he does say that whoever set the Centipede experiment in motion is still out there. As they get in, he asks if she's thought about "the offer," as she'd be a great help to them. "And you'd be front-row center at the strangest show on earth, which is, after all, what you wanted." Skye wonders if they can really show her something new, but just then, Ward, surrounded by beer, Chinese food, and Fitz/Simmons, calls to inform Coulson that they've got an "oh-eight-four," and even Coulson sounds impressed as he asks if that's confirmed. Well, it's the title of the episode, so I'd say so, yes. After Ward gets another back-slap from Fitz he enjoys just as much as the first one, Coulson starts the car; Skye asks what an oh-eight-four is, and Coulson replies that she's got ten minutes to decide if she really wants to know. She starts to say there's no way they can make it to the airfield in that little time – but the car rises into the air, shutting her up in a hurry. As she peers over the side and sees the wheels retract, Coulson puts on his shades, and as they take off and hurtle through the air, we don't hear Skye's answer of "YEEESSSS!" but I think we can take it on faith she's in. The car rushes toward us, and then we cut to black on what was really quite a promising pilot. See you week to check out the follow-up.
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His new film, a documentary on online privacy and the exploitation of personal data called Terms And Conditions May Apply, a New York Times Critics' Pick, is now on iTunes here. You can get news on it from the film's Twitter accountor website, or check out trackoff.us to learn how to protect your privacy. Also, you can email John at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.