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This week is full of beginnings and endings. Navid takes front and center as his careless words (something to the tune of "kiddie porn") about his father have ramifications on his father's career and his family dynamic. He tries to tell AAdrianna about the ongoing investigation of his father's business, but she's too absorbed in her own rising star to make time for him. As the distance between them grows, the problems on his home front grow worse. By the time she is club-hopping at Voyeur with a cadre of stylists and sycophants, Navid's father has fled to Iran, and Navid has fled to seek solace in Silver.
Relationship dynamics take a much more pleasant turn over at La Casa Nueva. Annie does the requisite meet-and-greet with her Coffee Cutie's friends, including his roommate-slash-ex-girlfriend, who intimidates her with freshman-psych regurgitations about Derrida. Naomi advises Annie that she can skip the intellectual pitter-patter and lock down CC with some hanky-panky. She also advises her to don crotchless panties and edible underwear, but we'll skip that part. Inevitably, Annie embarrasses herself by stripping down in CC's house and walking out into a room full of his roommates, but it ends up endearing her to him. He reveals he got his mysterious scar (the one he shares with Liam) during summers with his drunken, abusive uncle, and the two of them bond in their newfound vulnerability.
Debbie and Matthews also find themselves newly vulnerable since Jen flew the coop. Debbie hires a new nanny, who bails the minute she gets an audition for CSI: Miami, leaving Matthews with a baby and plenty of unsolicited advice from his high school students. Debbie volunteers to take care of Jacques, and Matthews' late-night visit to the Casa to pick up the baby results in a shared dinner and a much-needed sympathy screw for each of them. They both acknowledge how awkward and inappropriate it was after the fact, but I suspect this won't be the end of this little tryst.
And speaking of never-ending stories, Teddy continues to make his way out of the closet. Still reeling from his friends' randomly high-and-mighty judgment about his toking-and-driving exploits last season, he takes such umbrage when a beach club waitress expresses interest in him that he must seek solace at the nearest gay bar. It would be all well and good if he hadn't left his wallet at the beach club. Since asking Dixon to bring the wallet to him would expose his pro-homo-clivities, he makes an emergency call to Ian, who may be the nicest person the Bev Niner has ever seen since Nat was unfairly exiled. Ian pays Teddy's tab, drives him home, and listens as Teddy explains that he ran away from boarding school because he had developed feelings for his roommate. Ian tells him sympathetically, yet realistically, that this whole "gay" thing isn't going away. Teddy doesn't punch him -- always an upside -- but also refuses to come to terms with his latent sexuality. I guess we'll just have to wait a little longer for Trevor Donovan and Kyle Riabko's triumphant rendition of "Somewhere" from West Side Story!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Jen abandoned her baby. Teddy abandoned heterosexuality and sobriety. AAdrianna abandoned Navid in favor of Joe Jonas. And Navid nearly abandoned monogamy in favor of Silver.
Naomi drives recklessly down the road with AAdrianna, Silver, and Annie as AAdrianna's song comes on. They belt out at the top of their lungs, driving down the coastal highway. The girls wonder why she isn't stopping at their usual beach, so she tells them she has to make an additional stop to pick up Ivy. They wonder where Naomi's newfound sympathy is coming from, and Annie even brings up the fact that Ivy cheated on her brother, but Naomi says there were extenuating circumstances and says Ivy needs their support. They pull into the parking lot where Ivy struggles to make her surfboard fit into the car with all the girls, but they work it out, and Ivy bonds with AAdrianna over the fact that neither is big on tanning (though AAdrianna's tan ban is contractual).
Later at West Bev, Dixon and Navid banter about which one of them owes the other a favor. Teddy saunters up, and it's clear they're still pissed at him for driving high the other night. He apologizes, and everything appears to be mended for the moment. Navid heads off to a calculus test and runs into Silver along the way. They have an awkward we-almost-kissed-the-other-night moment before heading off in different directions and looking at each other at precisely the right (or wrong, if you will) times so that one misses the other's second glance.
Elsewhere, Debbie and Matthews interview a candidate to be little Jacques' nanny now that Jen's flown the coop. Debbie wants to think it over, but after nine interviews Matthews is ready to hire the first decent person that crosses his lap. His suspension is over, and he's panicked that he won't find someone in time. Now that they've found the nanny, Matthews says his terror level is subsiding. Debbie asks how she can take it down another notch, so he says whiskey is the answer. It always is.
Over at Shirazi's stomping grounds, Navid arrives home to find his family in stress. They inform him Mr. Shirazi has been angrily meeting with his lawyers all day and wants to meet with Navid. Navid heads into the room, where Mr. Shirazi asks exactly what Navid told the authorities at West Bev about his business. Navid pretends not to remember the whole "kiddie pornographer" comment. Mr. Shirazi tells him he's being investigated by the authorities and very likely could go to jail. Credits.
Some time later, Navid watches while AAdrianna chats with Spin magazine for a four-page feature story. She's super-excited and assumes that his less-than-mega-thrilled demeanor is judgment, as opposed to, say, a personal crisis. He tells her he's having family problems, so she apologizes and asks what's going on. The minute he starts to explain, her phone rings. She takes the call and bails on him for an interview with Ryan Seacrest. They try to make dinner plans, but she's not free until tomorrow and is entirely too self-absorbed to notice his disappointment.
Elsewhere, Annie gets the grand tour of Coffee Cutie's home for the first time. She meets his roommates, one of whom happens to be his ex-girlfriend. They grill her about her college plans and generally make her feel less-than. Which she should be for not knowing about Derrida, that bitch.
West Bev. Silver finds Navid in the Blaze room. She tries to avoid the inevitable talk what almost happened between them, but he thinks it's better to face it head-on so things don't "fester." They both agree that it was weird and that they were deflecting from their relationship issues. They insist it doesn't mean anything and that they're going to move past it, which means that we'll be mulling over this issue for a while. Navid says he has enough worries on his plate and says things have gotten worse with his father. Silver suggests he apologize, reminding him that a friend once (30 seconds ago) told her not to let things "fester." He appreciates and agrees with her advice, and they exchange another flirty look.
Meanwhile, Matthews returns to misshaping young minds with the help of Hemingway. Appropriate. The new nanny busts into his class claiming she has an emergency... audition, and Matthews is left with a screaming baby and a class full of disinterested teens. This is the stuff of nightmares truly. He attempts to carry on with the class, reading The Old Man and The Sea in baby talk as the students offer unsolicited parenting advice. Eventually he relents and calls Debbie for help.
Out in the quad, Naomi finds Annie frowning as she reads Derrida in an attempt to catch up the CC's ex. Naomi says Annie can skip the philosophy and lock CC down by either having "the talk" or having sex with him. Annie admits she and CC haven't had sex and blushes at the prospect.
Over at the beach club, Dixon, Teddy, and Liam are also blushing at their flirtatious waitress. Liam suggests Dixon asks her out as a rebound, joking that maybe she'll trade down as hot girls sometimes do. But it seems all her attentions are bestowed on Teddy, who feigns unselfishness in letting Dixon "have this one." He makes a quick exit, looking pained as he walks out.
Shirazi Shire. Navid tries to apologize to his father, but Mr. Shirazi is still holding his grudge, especially now that his records are being subpoenaed by the federal government. They have a shouting match, and Navid tells his father not to blame others for the choices he's made. Mr. Shirazi harshly tells Navid to get out, and so Navid does.
That night, Teddy drives downtown and watches sheepishly as men enter a gay bar. He finally summons up the courage to make his way in.
The day, Naomi holds an itty bitty lingerie fashion show, claiming her wares will help Annie "lock down" CC. The prudish Miss Wilson adamantly rejects the notion of going crotchless, so Naomi brings out a more modest pair of panties that has about another inch of fabric total. Annie is willing to concede they look better (a relative term) until Naomi brings out a pair of sparkly pasties to accompany. For Annie, that's a bridge too far. But she doesn't have the chance to object because Debbie knocks on the door to see if Naomi will be staying for dinner. In between passive-aggressive jibes at Debbie's mom-tastic fashion sense, Naomi says she won't be staying for dinner. Annie lies that they're going to dinner and then to a movie (code for "I'm banging my boyfriend tonight"). Debbie takes leave, and Naomi thrusts the pasties back at Annie. Annie refuses to wear them, so Naomi tries to meet her in the middle with the suggestion of edible underwear (thought she "didn't actually bring any because [she] wasn't sure if they would spoil"). Annie demurs, assuring Naomi she has it covered (no pun intended).
Downstairs, Matthews shows up as Annie and Naomi leave. Naomi gets one more swipe in about how the pattern on Debbie's shirt looks like Jacques' spit-up before they walk out the door, then Debbie leads Matthews to the living room where Jacques is sleeping peacefully. Debbie tells him she's lined up some more nanny interviews -- no actresses -- and assures him she's glad to have something keeping her busy while she waits for the manager of the beach club. She jokes that her boss probably won't assign her to alphabetize her nail polishes but admits she never anticipated having to re-enter the work force. Matthews says he didn't imagine having a bastard lovechild either, and they compare notes on whose life sucks the most. Matthews wins with "microwave popcorn for dinner," and Debbie invites her to share her lonely pot of Bolognese.
Meanwhile, AAdrianna and Navid wait for their table at a hot new restaurant downtown. Navid tries to bribe the maître d' to no avail, so they step aside. Eventually AAdrianna's publicist Renee tornadoes in with Ilan and Jenny, the hair and makeup people from the Spin magazine photo shoot. Renee drops AAdrianna's name just as her single starts playing on the speakers overhead, ensuring that their dinner will be comped. Then she gets a text and announces that some important producers will be joining them for dinner. AAdrianna asks if Navid minds making their one-on-one dinner a business event, and he lies that he doesn't.
La Casa Nueva. Matthews compliments Debbie's cooking, and she thanks her for giving him some adult companionship. They keep bumping into each other awkwardly as they exchange more silly compliments about how well he dries the dishes and how well she washes them. Things takes a serious turn when she tells him that's the first compliment she's gotten in a while, so he up the ante a bit and tells her she has a great smile. They finally parlay the unintentional encounters into intentional ones and start making out. Ryan grabs Debbie forcefully and thrusts her onto the countertop. Frankly, it's the hottest he's ever been, and yet all I can think is, "Take off the dish gloves, Debbie!"
Back at the gay bar, Teddy is getting properly shit-faced when a sweet-looking, totally non-skeezy guy approaches him with the standard "Come here often?" line. Teddy immediately asks for his check, only to realize he doesn't have his wallet. Across town, Dixon tries to put the moves on the waitress who was earlier intrigued by Teddy. He is interrupted from the full crash-and-burn when Teddy calls to check that he left his wallet at the beach club. Rather than let Dixon know where he is, he insists he can pick it up from him the morning. Of course that leaves him with a serious bill and only his nubile young body as means of payment.
Downtown, Navid is drowning in a sea of "fabulous" as AAdrianna's fake industry friends bore him to tears. The industry types invite AAdrianna and Navid to Voyeur with them, but Navid has gotten a text from his mom telling him to come home. AAdrianna doesn't understand why he can't come, so Navid gets frustrated that their date -- during which he was supposed to talk to AAdrianna about his family issues -- has been hijacked by all these phonies. He gives them a half-hearted goodbye, but they can't get unglued from their Blackberries long enough to reciprocate. AAdrianna gives him a super-fake air kiss goodbye and doesn't even wait for him to leave before gushing about how excited she is to go to Voyeur.
La Casa Nueva. Matthews and Debbie put their clothes back on and acknowledge how they just made things wildly awkward. Debbie makes excuses as to why Matthews should leave, and he is about six shame-faced steps out the door before he remembers that he forgot his child. Whoops!
Back at the gay bar, Teddy makes his conundrum worse by downing another shot. Ian finally shows up to rescue him and pay his tab, then see how much worse for the wear he is and offers to drive him home.
Elsewhere, CC puts on a record and rhapsodizes about the wonders of vinyl as college freshmen are wont to do. It all plays into her plan to lock him down, and they are quickly into the kissing. She excuses herself to the bathroom and begins to strip down into her Naomi-approved skivvies. She checks herself in the mirror self-consciously for several minutes before opening the door to reveal herself to CC. But it turns out not to be a private show as several of his roommates have materialized during the few minutes she was in the bathroom. She screams, "Oh my God!" then rushes back into the bathroom.
Shirazi Shire. Navid walks in to find his entire family crying. His mother tells him his father was afraid of being sent to jail and went on the lam back to Iran.
We return to CC's frosh pad, where Annie is once again fully dressed and fully mortified. They both apologize for their misapprehensions. She acknowledges her insecurities about Julia and how stupid the whole "lock down" line of reasoning turned out to be. They eventually concede that they don't understand each other's intentions because they don't share everything with each other. She brings up the mystery scar that he and Liam share, so he comes clean that it's the product of summers shared with his drunken, abusive uncle. She thanks him for being honest with her. He sheepishly asks if she still wants to "lock him down." She says she does, and they share a sweet hug.
Elsewhere, Ian arrives at Teddy's home. Teddy admits he's been "confused" for a long time and reveals that he wasn't kicked out of boarding schools for girls. In fact, he was in love with his roommate and thought that if he could find a way to get away from it, then his feelings would go away. Ian tells him his feelings won't go away, but it seems to be a feeling with which Teddy is all too familiar. He exits the car and walks away with a steely loneliness as Ian drives off.
Over at Silver's place, she opens the door to Navid, who claims he needs to talk to someone. She suggests he talk to AAdrianna, but he clarifies his statement, saying Silver is who he needs to talk to. He invites himself in, and she turns on a symbolic light and OneRepublic's "Secrets" plays in the background.
In two weeks: Naomi learns to surf, and if the brief hiatus gives us any luck, she'll run afoul of a shark like so many other Californians this past summer.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see the CW shows we'd like to see cross over. And then watch vloggers Val and Beth compare the show to the original, below!
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