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It's drama central at the Wilson homestead. Anxiety is high for Debbie, who worries that Dixon's newly returned biomom Dana might be judging her as a parent and/or replacing her in Dixon's heart. This causes a bit of tension with Harry when she projects her own insecurities onto him, saying he doesn't validate her feelings. For Dixon, the stress arises when his mother's brusque behavior at dinner makes him think she doesn't want to get to know him after all (not like she drove almost 400 miles to see him or anything). Not to mention the fact that his car gets stolen mid-episode, but more on that later. Turns out Dana was standoffish because she was apprehensive that Debbie and Harry were judging her for giving Dixon up when he was very young. They bond over sports, she plants the seed for an online gambling addiction, and all is right with the world. Except, that is, for Annie, whose particular torment arises from the fear that Jasper is stalking her. Which he pretty much is. And remember that car stolen on Dixon's watch? Jasper's handiwork. In his psychotic efforts to protect Annie, he resolved to destroy the one piece of evidence linking Annie to the hobo murder spree. Yeah, this bitch is getting real.
Silver apparently takes a few tips from Jasper in her approach to dating. Plagued by all the hos strolling up to her new mans, she follows Naomi's advice (great idea!) and peeps at an e-mail from a trick called Amy who wants to meet up with Teddy for some shoreside nookie. In the throes of paranoia, Silver tasks RuWill -- who I honestly think just demanded more airtime in her contract -- to spy on Teddy's afternoon delight. Teddy surprises everyone by not acting a fool, which only makes Silver guiltier. She admits everything to him and promises to trust him moving forward. Only now he doesn't trust her. Way to school a notorious playboy in the virtues of monogamy, moron.
Speaking of playboys. Wait, what? Oh, that's just Navid. Our dastardly dud finally returns to school after his drug suspension, still set on destroying the jagged little pill pusher. Dixon keenly observes that this is really about Navid's lingering feelings for AAdrianna. As we know, she still has feelings for him, too. Instead of doing the sensible thing and just getting back together, they find new ladies! Navid loses himself in a lovely little Blaze lackey named Lila, and AAdrianna in her burgeoning bicurious bender with RuWill, and then in an all-girl band that needs a singer. Are we noticing a developing trend here? Despite some initial bumbling, Navid's attempt at self-distraction takes off when it turns out Lackey Lila was his fourth grade cotillion partner. They agree to another date, sealing it with a kiss just in time for AAdrianna to walk by and get her heart broken. Good thing she joined that band, right? Oh yeah, Lackey Lila's the bassist. She just wasn't at the audition because she was on a date. Whoops! AAdrianna seeks comfort in RuWill's arms, but our fiery-haired femme has had enough of the cooch tease and finally comes out to AAdrianna that she has a crush on her. And AAdrianna may just be vulnerable enough for it to take.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see where the Bev-Niners will be 20 Years from Now.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: AAdrianna and RuWill became lezbefriends. Annie got a little blackmail to match her black heart. Teddy gave up his playboy ways. And Dixon's biomom came back just in time to ruin Jeopardy. Hag.
Annie goes on her nightly run through the park, only to see Jasper in mid-stalk. His boat-sized, classic convertible is definitely not the optimal car for clandestine watching of your ex.
Back at La Nueva Casa, Harry and Debbie welcome in Dixon's biomom Dana. She says she got Dixon's e-mail saying he wanted to visit her in Arizona, but she couldn't get together the words to write back to him properly. Finally she bucked up and drove up to say everything in person. Annie comes in and gives Dana a chipper hug, surprising Debbie, who doesn't know about Annie and Dixon's little Diet Dr. Pepper-sponsored road trip to Phoenix last Spring Break. He admits he wasn't ready to talk to her then, but is thrilled to have the opportunity now. Dana starts to make her way out to check into a motel, but Dixon won't have it. He invites her to stay at the Casa before consulting his parents. Harry gets on board, but Debbie is obviously none-too-pleased.
Beach Club. Silver and Teddy are on their first date, and Teddy is pushing to share meals. She begrudgingly accepts his proposal, and they lean in for a "yay new relationship!" kiss -- only to be interrupted by a couple hussies still angling for a piece of Tight Abs Montgomery. Silver snarks that if he went out with them he could try three dishes. Silver sets about picking their dishes. Teddy's only request is that she doesn't get the vegetable medley. Her selection process is again interrupted when Teddy's phone rings. The ID says Amy, and her unique ring tone is George Michael's "I Want Your Sex." Delightfully retro! Silver's annoyance rises as he claims she programmed it into the phone herself. She lasers in on the menu, only to have the Trick Trifecta completed when the waitress gives Teddy an all-too-familiar hello. He doesn't remember her, of course. Don't hate the playa! Okay, well, maybe you can... Silver might. She orders the vegetable medley.
Nueva Casa. Debbie wants to dig in, but Dana asks if they can say grace first. Dixon offers to do the honors, reciting a prayer he used to say when he was still living with Dana. He says memories of her, just like the prayer, come back all the time. They explain the "culture shock" of moving to L.A., but Annie says he had no problems adjusting at all. Dixon makes a joke, and everyone laughs but Dana. He tries to reminisce with her, but she seems more focused on her food than him.
Elsewhere, Navid is researching anti-drug PSAs for his penance at school. His lackey Lila brings by the latest edition of the video Blaze -- do they even have a print edition anymore? Am I that old? She slips in that it features Naomi's first segment, claiming it's "not that bad." Navid anxiously flips it on. It's basically a seven-minute long list of not-at-all blind items about various West Bev students and their sordid personal lives. Navid say they have to put a stop to this.
Over at Silver's, she's called Naomi over to bitch about all the "big-boobed bimbos" that were all up in her grill on her date with Teddy. Naomi gets unduly excited about the prospect of Silver getting implants, but that's clearly not in the cards. Silver says she needs to get comfortable with Teddy's past. Naomi proves herself to be the worst consoler ever as she says she'd be freaking out about Teddy cheating on her, then suggests Silver go all girl detective and monitor all of his digital correspondence to ensure he doesn't. For her, that's "the usual."
Back at the Casa, Annie takes out the trash. She looks around warily but sees nothing and heads back inside. How she didn't see Jasper 10 feet away, sitting in his car and loudly flicking a Zippo open and shut, is beyond. Not known for her smarts, that girl. Credits.
When we return, Annie has headed upstairs, where Dixon is stressing about how awkward dinner was. He feels like Dana doesn't want to connect with him and says he doesn't know what to call her. They might as well be strangers. Annie suggests time alone might alleviate some of the pressure on both of them. She urges him to give it another go.
Downstairs, Debbie wonders aloud to Harry if Dana is judging them, especially in light of the revelation that Dixon and Annie took a 750-mile road trip without them knowing. Harry says all they can do is make Dana feel comfortable in their home so she knows they're not threatened by her.
Beach, morning. Dixon, Teddy and Liam leave surf practice joking about Naomi and Ivy's roll in the sand. Dixon ends the conversation abruptly when he discovers his car is missing. Remarkably they didn't take Liam's -- with all the windows open! -- or the top-down convertible to it. Yep. Everyone loves a crap wagon.
Meanwhile, RuWill and AAdrianna drive around in RuWill's VW van. Of course she has a VW van. Walking -- make that rolling cliché. AAdrianna enthusiastically sings along to Dolly Parton's "Jolene," plunging RuWill more deeply into her lesbian love haze. Then she offers to wait for RuWill after school. RuWill calls her out for trying to orchestrate a way to bump into Navid. AAdrianna cops to it, swooning that Navid nearly got expelled because he was trying to protect her from Jasper's evil clutches. She makes RuWill promise not to tell anyone about Navid's harebrained scheming. AAdrianna wonders how she can get over someone who would make such a valiant (idiotic) gesture. RuWill -- with absolutely no agenda assures AAdrianna she'll get over Navid when she meets someone else. She says she did, which AAdrianna is keen to know. RuWill keeps her straight-girl-lovin' lips sealed.
The surfing trio arrive at West Bev, Dixon still stressing about his stolen car. Navid joins the group and makes it clear he's still bent on destroying Jasper's life. The guys tell him to give it a rest, but Navid says he is morally bound, since Jasper got AAdrianna back on the bad shit. Dixon zeroes in on the fact that this little suicide mission is more about Navid's lingering feelings for AAdrianna than Jasper's multifarious misdeeds. Navid claims, unconvincingly, that he's moved on. He even says he noticed his cousin had "suddenly become very womanly" the other night. Ick. He says he's going to get back in the game ASAP.
Inside, Silver and Teddy study together. She does all the work in turn for makeout credits. He excuses himself to the bathroom just in time for a message from Amy (titled "Wanna see you," good lord that girl is subtle as a sledgehammer!) to pop up on his screen. Silver can't help herself. She reads the mission, which sets a meet-up for that evening at 5 p.m.
Blaze office. Navid and his soon-to-be-lucky Lackey Lila have taken the knife to Naomi's segment, editing it down to a single, choppy phrase: "Health care reform is definitely a public issue." They laugh at their shoddy trickery and acknowledge it looks like she's having an epileptic fit. In between laughs, Navid asks LL to dinner. She's somewhat taken aback but agrees.
Out in the hall, RuWill hands AAdrianna a flyer for a band seeking a singer. She thinks AAdrianna should try out because it'll get her mind off of Navid. Yeah, a band is a great option for someone who just fell off the wagon, like, two weeks ago. AAdrianna kindly declines RuWill's suggestion. Methinks a certain chin-gifted BFF is going to go back on a rejection bender any day now.
Yoga in the park. Debbie's foxy instructor offers her some coconut water. Debbie quips, "Does it come with tequila?" He offers a rippling shoulder to cry on, so she admits things have gone pear-shaped at home since Dana came into the picture. She lies that she's fine with it, but FoxYoga Dude doesn't buy that she's not threatened. She concedes that she is, and he says her feelings are valid. Unlike old stoic Harry, eh Deb? Don't partake of that forbidden fruit (coconut), girl.
West Bev. Silver freaks out to Naomi that Teddy's already cheating on her. Naomi says maybe he won't go through with it, but she doesn't seem too convinced by that idea herself. She's all, "You totally shouldn't spy on him, but maybe you could hide behind a palm tree across the street from the coffee shop and, you know, take a peek now and again. Also, wear camo." Silver decides it'll be too obvious if she goes. They look over the balcony and behold RuWill and her oh-so-subtle-will-totally-not-attract-attention flame red hair and put on their "up to no good" grins before asking her for a favor.
Cut to RuWill in the coffee shop, standing up like a moron with her eyes peering out over a magazine. Not obvious at all, dipstick. Isn't she supposed to be some ace investigative reporter? I guess her powers are stored in her fedora. Meanwhile, does she even know these people, really? Even if they are AAdrianna's friends, they're veritable strangers to her. But I digress... RuWill IDs Amy when the barista calls out her latte. Teddy hasn't arrived yet, so RuWill texts AAdrianna that he's a no-show. Just seconds after she presses "Send," the sandy-haired skirt chaser shows up with a big hug for Amy, who calls him "babe," BTW.
RuWill picks out another magazine and positions herself for prime eavesdropping. Amy offers a weekend alone with her at her parents' house in Malibu. What his girlfriend doesn't know, she says, won't hurt her. Teddy says he really likes the new lady and wants to give monogamy a try. Amy asks why he showed up, and he admits he made a mistake. He starts to leave, but Amy stops him short, saying monogamy isn't his style. He says they'll see.
Beach club. Lackey Lila shows up in her best Delia*s blue cheetah print dress. It's not even trying to be vintage cute. Strike one. Navid is exceptionally edgy and, in classic Navid style, ends up jabbering his way into insulting her. She's a good sport about his mumbling foot-in-mouth syndrome, but I'm still gonna call that strike two. Can there be more than three strikes? I suspect this date will hit double digits. They head outside, and Navid has decided to play it safe on the talking front by keeping completely silent. To expend the nervous energy, he fusses with what part of his arm he's allowed to put on the table. So they go into a discussion about etiquette. Strike three. Except in LL's book. She says she knows manners because her mother forced her to go to cotillion in fourth grade. Navid says his did, too. They bond over their shared misery, and Navid mentions how he was always stepping on the feet of his partner with the funny-looking short hair and the penchant for sailor-style dresses. A flick of recognition passes across LL's face. "She's probably in the Navy now," speculates Navid, "that is if she can still walk." LL reveals she was the aforementioned sailorette. Navid can't believe the coincidence. LL jokes that this is technically their second date. They share a cute, knowing smile. I guess some things are so bad they go back to good again.
Meanwhile, Dixon and Dana are having dinner at some sports bar. Dana strikes up a conversation about the basketball game on the screen. She says she has some money on the game, which surprises Dixon. She tells him they're just getting to know each other. He asks if she really wants to know him and mentions her stand-offish behavior the night before. She explains she didn't want to dwell on the past, especially when some of his "fond" memories took place during her psychotic episodes. Apparently they ate those tacos he loved so much three a meals a day for 89 days in a row. She was embarrassed to admit that to Harry and Debbie, so she changed the subject. He assures her they don't think she's a bad mom, insisting they're grateful to her. "'Cause, you know, I am quite the prize," he jokes. They hold hands and laugh together.
Back at the beach, LL teases Navid's lack of suave. He tells her he's a champ at third dates and mock seriously says, "Prepare to be swept away." She says she thought he was just using her to get over AAdrianna. He acknowledges that the date started out that way but has become about her. He asks her for another date, grabs her hand, and asks if he can kiss her. She says yes, and they lean in.
Just down the beach, ripe for heartbreak, AAdrianna is trying to guess RuWill's secret crush in 20 questions. She doesn't get very far, though, because she sees Navid and LL. She says she has to find a way to get over him, and RuWill suggests they go to the band audition. AAdrianna says she'll try anything. RuWill clasps her arm around AAdrianna's shoulder, and they walk off. A bit later, the band members sit rapt as AAdrianna warbles out "Jolene." It's a bit Broadway in parts, but she has a good dynamic and tone to her voice. RuWill approves. And so does the band. They tell her they're going to nix callbacks and offer her the gig. Geez, I really hope this doesn't take a turn for the Rayanne Graf.
Downtown, Annie, Silver and Naomi are feasting on Crumbs cupcakes. Well, Silver's moping, really. She feels guilty for reading Teddy's e-mail then acting like a paranoiac and sending some random lesbian to spy on him. Annie and Naomi tell her not to cry over spilled soy lattes. Fresh off a spiel about moving on from your mistakes, Annie takes the cupcake wrappers to the trash and spots Jasper reading a book mere feet away -- rather unobtrusively, really. She freaks, telling Naomi and Silver they need to leave immediately. They leave, asking Annie if he's stalking her. Jasper stays put, reading his book with laser-like focus. A little too much focus if you ask me. Maybe he's been sampling the product.
Casa Nueva. Debbie is in full overreact mode, wondering if she should text Dixon since he hasn't come home yet. Harry is pretty nonchalant about it and tells her to do whatever she thinks is right. The phone rings, and Debbie immediately thinks it's bad news about Dixon. He hangs up and tells her the car was found downtown completely stripped. Just then, Dana and Dixon arrive home chatting about basketball. Dana apologizes for keeping Dixon out late. Debbie acts like it was no big deal. Dixon heads upstairs for the night. Harry asks if she sees now that her worries were unfounded. It's totally non-judgmental and casual, but Debbie snipes back that her emotions are valid. Harry doesn't know what hit him. Upstairs, Dixon waits a few beats before excitedly logging on to an online gambling website. Really? You're taking tips from a woman who was so mentally unstable she had to abandon you? Great.
West Bev, day. AAdrianna shows up for her band practice. They while away some time discussing one of her band mate's hang-up about tambourines. It's weird. Then guess who shows up. LL, the group's bass player. We all know why she couldn't attend auditions the night before. So much for AAdrianna getting her mind off of Navid.
Speaking of, Rico Swampy finds his bros in the caf to brag about his "hot date" the night before. He's kind of giddy about it. Dixon razzes him about whether the date distracted him from his plot to annihilate Jasper. Navid concedes that it did and that the whole ruse may have been more for AAdrianna's benefit than anyone else's. Dixon mocks, "So who's hotter? Lila or your cousin?" Navid says definitely Lila.
Meanwhile, AAdrianna, with RuWill in tow, is stomping angrily through the quad bitching about LL being in the band. She moans and frets and ponders quitting long enough for RuWill to break down and admit her secret crush is AAdrianna. She walks out, leaving AAdrianna stunned.
Outside, Teddy is prattling about how "hardcore" he is for some sport, but Silver has to stop him because she can't take the guilt anymore. She confesses to reading the e-mail and sending someone to spy on him, putting it off to her insecurities. She admits she was wrong and says now she can trust him. He shoots back that he's not sure he can trust her and walks off. How quickly we forget, huh, Teddy? You were a blink away from a weekend romp at Amy's, buddy.
Out front, Jasper asks Annie if she wants a ride. She says he's stalking her, and it's scary. He claims he's just trying to help. Why else would he steal her car? He reminds her it's the one piece of evidence linking her to his dead hobo uncle. Suddenly Annie realizes she's way deeper in this than she realized. Cut to black.
week: AAdrianna rents a copy of Kissing Jessica Stein and thinks, "Eh, why not?"
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see where the Bev-Niners will be 20 Years from Now.