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There is much patching up of things this week -- but first! Massive carnage. Ivy gets the ball rolling by spotting a prime opportunity to take down Jen. At a frigging horse race. Because that's where all the high school kids are hanging out these days… Anyhow, the plan involves, amongst other things, plying Naomi (or "Nie-oh-me" as Ivy so irksomely insists on calling her) with expensive gifts and spinning around a colorful umbrella. Amidst all this chicanery, the potty plotters fail to notice that Jen is right the eff behind them as they loudly map out her demise. She corners Liam to secure the upper hand but actually ends up playing right into his labyrinthine scheme. She is exposed both to Naomi and Matthews, who takes a minute from pontificating about Kierkegaard to let Dixon tell him the truth. Jen realizes she's sunk with Naomi, so moves her attention to Matthews and gives him a speech right out of As Good As It Gets, but it's too little, too late.
Naomi composes herself and goes to straighten things out with Liam, only to be spotted by Ivy, who rubs salt in the perma donna's wound by planting a big smacker on Liam. Later, Naomi calls Annie to make amends for assuming the worst all these months. Annie, however, is having an olive leaf exchange and a hearty laugh with Dixon over how majorly effed up their lives have become. Lest you worry that Hobo-Killin' Annie gets even a moment to forget her troubles this episode, rest assured that bitch is going down episode. She has been about as subtle as a sledgehammer in her strictly forbidden comings and goings with Kris Jr., so it's only a matter of time…
Silver begins putting her life back together after Jackie's death, and Teddy is more than happy to be one of those pieces. They kiss in a moment of mutual vulnerability and teenage horniness. Silver is set to forget it in light of Teddy's player reputation, and this assumption may well benefit Dixon after he and Silver rekindle their old spark a bit. But Montgomery the Manwhore proves a little softer than we thought, pining for Silver in secret.
Finally, Navid and AAdrianna also suffer the effects of lives in various states of crumble. AAdrianna stands amidst the ruins of her social life after she gives up the drugs only to lose all her friends for being a stoned, unreliable mess right when everyone needed her most. Navid's fracturing is more literal, what with the whole broken bones thing and all. Not to mention he can't remember who pushed him down the stairs. That is, until his memory is jogged when he recalls those Nazi Youth boots that a certain spiky-coiffed drug dealer is so fond of wearing.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: RIP Jackie Taylor Silver. RIP Teddy's mom. Long live Jen's shamelessness in bilking her sister for every possible penny, now with more race horses! The Three Dudesketeers injected some life into Liam's percolating plan to destroy Jen. AAdrianna got fried, thanks to Kris Jr. Things boiled over at La Casa Nueva re: Annie's drug dealing boyfriend. All of which led to Navid being tossed down the stairs.
Navid wakes up in the hospital, completely unaware of what got him there -- aside from the intense pain, broken arm, and concussion. His parents, as well as Liam, Ivy, Dixon, Teddy, and Naomi are all there. All he wonders is where AAdrianna is, and Naomi has to remind him that they're not dating anymore. Cut to AAdrianna's bedroom. She wakes up God-knows-how-long after she passed out in a drug-riddled stupor. She hears all of Naomi's increasingly irritated messages about Silver's mom dying and Navid's accident. AAdrianna throws on clothes and rushes out of her room, throwing her pills in the trash behind her.
Back at the hospital, Naomi has an awkward elevator ride with Liam and a visibly threatened Ivy. Elsewhere, AAdrianna finally makes it to Navid's room to admit that she's been fucked up for weeks and that his accident was a downfall. She apologizes for reaming him out and denying she ever loved him. She says she's clean now and tells him he's the only person she's ever loved. He looks at her stone-faced, saying she was the first and only person he wanted to see when he woke up. Then he asks, "How could you?" and tells her to leave. She complies sadly.
Over at West Bev, Matthews reminds the students their Kierkegaard assignments are due tomorrow. The bell rings, and they trickle out. In comes Jen with a slew of vomit-inducing Catholic school fantasies. Thankfully, she cuts short before the money shot to invite him to a horse race she and Naomi will be attending. Matthews accepts with a kiss, only to be interrupted by Ivy, who forgot her book. Ivy runs outside to find Liam and gush that she's found the perfect opportunity to execute Operation: Justice for Jen. Bouncy credits.
Later that afternoon, Naomi consoles Silver after they left her mother's stranger-filled Shiva. Silver still hasn't adjusted to her mother's loss, both the concept and the day-to-day reality of it. She is further disheartened that AAdrianna was a no-show. Naomi has no sympathy for AAdrianna's relapse and consequent unreliability. The door knocks, and Naomi opens it to find a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a card from Teddy apologizing for not coming to the funeral. Naomi thinks it's strange he didn't show since she saw him at the hospital in a suit.
Back at West Bev, Annie is nattering on about Harry finding Navid after his accident, making Kris Jr. increasingly uncomfortable. He asks if Navid remembers what happened to him, but she has no helpful information. He snaps at her. She thinks it's because she mentioned Harry, who has put her on Kris Jr. embargo. He excuses himself brusquely.
Later, Silver finds Teddy back on the rooftop where they first bonded over dead mothers and tennis balls. She asks him how he's doing, and he points out that he should be the one asking that question. He apologizes again for skipping the funeral, admitting that he couldn't even attend to his own mother's. He hurls his tennis racket, saying he's a coward. Silver assures him he's not and hugs him tightly. He apologizes again that he wasn't there for her. She tells him that he was -- and is. They look into each other's eyes, hesitantly come closer, then kiss. A bit desperately, a bit hopefully, mostly out of pure need to physically connect with someone who's gone through these emotions. They pull away and try to make sense of what just happened (as if everyone else in the world didn't see it a mile away). Silver gets all coy, saying that this kiss must mean that he's her boyfriend. Teddy's eyes bug out. He practically has to physically restrain himself from backing off the ledge of the roof. Then she laughs and says she was just kidding. Lead balloon.
The morning, Kris Jr. sneaks up on AAdrianna to ask her if she's running low on her pharmaceuticals. She insists she's clean now. He asks about Navid. Wrapped up in her own world, AAdrianna says that Navid doesn't remember what happened. Before she can even snap back to reality, Kris Jr. is gone. He has headed out to the quad to slather some textbook post-emotional abuse love on Annie. He apologizes for snapping earlier, lying that it stemmed from the stressful situation with Harry. She tells him not to worry. They're the only ones that matter. They kiss quite openly and exchange sickening I Love Yous. Annie excuses herself to go to class. On the way she runs in to Harry, obviously, who tells her they're due for a serious talk after school. Word to the wise, Ado Annie: If your father, the principal of the high school, has forbidden you to see your boyfriend, maybe it's best not to dry hump him in the middle of the area where the entire school congregates.
Elsewhere, Ivy and Liam play pool and plot their Jen-ocide. Ivy asks Liam whether he's really in this because he still has feelings for Naomi. He angrily insists he doesn't, then biffs a shot. He regains his calm and apologizes, promising it's not about Naomi before kissing Ivy. Teddy walks in on them. They try to play it cool and say they're just hanging out, but Ivy's botched shots betray her. Liam tells him to keep it quiet.
Over at La Casa Nueva, Debbie and Harry marvel at Annie's balls-slash-incredible ineptitude at sneaking around. She snits that they can't control her at school, too. Au contraire, l'assassin du hobo, he's the damn principal! Debbie tells her she's grounded, so that's that. I think a nice, remote guys, convent and/or pair of fashionable cement boots would involve a lot less headaches and snotty backtalk. But that's just me.
Over at Silver's, she and Naomi have a fashion show of all of Jackie's crazy '80s outfits while listening to "Maneater" by Hall & Oates. A proper montage moment was totally missed here. Their merriment is abruptly interrupted when AAdrianna knocks on the door to apologize for being a terrible friend. Silver is obviously unprepared to give her the benefit of the doubt, and Naomi basically tells her not to let the door hit her on the way out. AAdrianna leaves to go home, where she flushes all her pills and looks at herself in the mirror so as to fully take in what disaster she's brought upon herself.
The morning, Annie and Dixon exchange passive-aggressive barbs as they prepare their breakfasts. Debbie comes in all chipper and asks what their plans for the day are. Annie huffs that she has a study group at school but probably can't go since she's grounded. Debbie assures her study groups are well within the rules, so Annie responds with a sarcastic thank-you. Dixon is similarly aloof and petulant about his day. Debbie offers Annie a ride, and Annie grouses that her day keeps getting better and better. God, I hate teenagers. How was I ever one? Debbie plasters a smile on her face, taking in the full range of bitterness and irony that she chose to bring these fuckers into her life.
Debbie drops off Annie, who snaps that she'll find her own ride home. She waits about five seconds before turning that frown upside down as Kris Jr. drives up in the most unsubtle car ever. Apparently these nitwits have never heard of rearview mirrors. Or, as the quad scene would suggest, eyeballs! Sweet jeebus.
Horse race. Jen and Naomi arrive in their big hats and head to the stables. Jen spews praise at the poor, tied down horse. Then she forces Naomi to, and it's just as uncomfortable as you would suspect. Made only more uncomfortable when the jockey appears on the other side of the horse to sleaze things up a bit by ogling Naomi's rack and suggesting that all her comments about the horse being a "big, handsome boy... so muscular and well-endowed" were about him. Jen tells
Naomi she wants to set her up with the mini-mister. Naomi laughs it off, but I'm pretty sure Jen is not kidding. Though I guess anything is a step up from Captain Crunch, the Stinky Eco Tutor.
Up in the VIP box, Naomi plops an entire fucking lobster on her plate -- I am not making this up -- before heading over to check up on Silver, who may or may not be cater-waitressing by the looks of her outfit. Silver insists she's fine, and their chat is disrupted by a waiter bringing Naomi an Hermès scarf from a "secret admirer." Naomi gladly accepts and tries to dig up information about this secret admirer, but the waiter remains tight-lipped.
Over at La Casa Nueva, Debbie brings up Annie's laundry, only to discover that her scheming little hussy of a daughter has left the book she was supposed to be studying at home.
Back at the races, Naomi spots Ivy, Dixon, and Teddy piling into the plebes section across the wall from her private box. She denigrates Ivy's plaid dress-shirt extravaganza, and Ivy in turn calls Naomi a tranny. Ivy, 1; Naomi, 0. The waitress makes a beeline for Teddy and walks off without blinking an eye at the others. Dixon says that it's a good thing that Teddy is a player who doesn't get tied down because girls are nothing but trouble. Ivy says guys are worst. Teddy says they're both right, that relationships are trouble. Of course, while he says this, he's gazing wistfully at Silver.
Across the boundary between Average Joe and VIP, Naomi receives another gift -- a Tiffany horseshoe necklace. To her relief, the waiter confirms that the secret admirer isn't a practical midget. He promises the admirer will introduce himself eventually.
Over at the beach, Annie and Kris Jr. dry hump in his convertible. Seriously? Eyeballs! There are people who don't want their souls scarred by that sight.
Races. Ivy tries to order a whiskey and gets shut down. She sits down with the guys, where they have a conversation about Liam deleting his evidence against Jen. Ivy assures him that he's with a tech guy who can save anything. Liam arrives, smiling, and tells them they're ready to go. They high five and yowl a bit, when the camera cuts to the adjacent couch where Jen, obscured by a plant, has heard the whole thing.
Later downstairs, she, Naomi, and Matthews are wishing their jockey good luck. They speculate about how amazing it would be to win the $200,000 purse. Naomi thinks it would be especially fortuitous since the horse was a gift. Matthews is all, "Back up the bus. Someone gave you a horse?" Jen sidesteps the question by telling him the race is starting. As the horses start running, Matthews latches back on to the lingering question and implies that he hopes it wasn't a man who gave such an expensive gift to his girlfriend. She assures him she likes the horse more than the gift horse. The race continues, with the Clarks' horse pulling well ahead of the pack and winning it by a couple lengths. They cheer and hug.
Inside, Dixon approaches Silver to offer his sympathies about her mom. She thanks him for coming to the funeral. He brushes it off as something he'd do for anyone, but she says it was more than that. She admits that things haven't been smooth between them, which was pretty much all her fault. He forgives her, and they both admit they've missed having a true best friend around through all the recent craziness, then hug. Pan out to Teddy watching it all.
Hospital. AAdrianna tells Navid she's come from a meeting and realizes why she screwed up everything with him. She says that, even though she was sober when they were together, she was still in addict mentality. She says she resisted things going well because she didn't feel like she deserved a good life. Now she's learning and moving forward. He accepts this. She says she knows it's over between them, but she's open to being friends when he's ready.
Back at the races, Jen finds Liam cheering on a pony at the bar. They step into a private room to talk, where Jen tries to shake down Liam for any and all copies of his recording of her. She tells him Naomi will never figure it all out because she's so endearingly naïve. They look down at Naomi and her red hat down in the box. Oh, except! As this is happening, Naomi in a new black hat is being led into a private room by the waiter. He tells her to wait there. As Naomi contorts herself in one unsexy pose after another, the waiter steps outside to frantically draft a text message. "The eagle has landed," reads Dixon's phone. Despite the sunshine, he pulls out a boldly patterned umbrella and spins it around above the crowd.
Back upstairs, Jen tosses Liam's phone onto the ground and smashes it with her stiletto. He looks down to see Dixon's signal, then backs Jen up against a thin set of sliding doors so Naomi can hear all the dirty details of how Jen lied to him, turned him against Naomi, then slept with him after prom. Always needing the last word, Jen snarks that, of all the men she's slept with, Liam was the most boring. At this point, Naomi has sidled up to the door and heard everything. She slides open the doors in disbelief: "It was you?" Jen starts stammering a lie, but Naomi cuts her off, saying she never wants to see her again. Jen walks off, venom shooting from her eyes. Looks like Naomi gets the last word.
Back downstairs, Liam meets the Dudesketeers to high five and gloat about how Ocean's Eleven they were. Some of the fun is dampened for Liam, though, when he looks over and sees Naomi doubled over crying. Jen reaches ground level and tells Matthews she wants to leave. He grimly tells her that Dixon told him everything. Jen starts into another web of lies, but even she can't hold up this one. She admits that she's done terrible things. Then she tries to reframe it that those things all happened before she met and fell for Ryan. She insists he's changed her and made her want to be a better person. Her story loses a lot of its shine, though, when the sleazy Latin lothario she bought the horse from congratulates her and inadvertently reveals that the horse wasn't a gift but something she bought for herself. Matthews may be an English teacher, but he does the math pretty quickly and realizes that Jen used Naomi's money and lied to her about it. Jen reminds Matthews that he promised to stick by her if she was honest with him. He says he was wrong and walks off. The camera pans out on Jen, whose LBD and broad-brimmed hat have now become positively funereal.
Upstairs, Silver comforts a still shocked Naomi and promises to be there for her. Naomi realizes she has to talk to Liam and whisks off. Silver watches over her things while Teddy, looking through a doorway, watches over Silver. I'm pretty sure Trevor Donovan's direction in this moment was limited to "Look pensive!" And, honestly, it's a bit of minimalist direction they're beginning to rely on a little too much -- even for a soap. Down in the bleachers, Ivy smugly twirls around Naomi's red hat as she walks up to Liam. She asks why he's not happier. He admits he can't be happy after making Naomi so unhappy. Ivy says he should be relieved. It's an effort to distract him from his moodiness, but, more to the point, it's mainly to distract him from thinking too hard about Naomi. It works, and he thanks Ivy for her help as Naomi approaches behind him. Ivy sees what Liam can't and pulls him in for a kiss aimed squarely at Naomi. She runs off hurt, and Liam pulls away wondering where the PDA came from. Ivy claims nobody saw them.
La Casa Nueva. Debbie and Harry confront Annie about going to study group without any books. Before she can eke out an excuse, Dixon barges in and covers Annie's ass. Later, she heads into his room to thank him. He says she had it coming to her since he didn't believe her when she insisted she didn't sleep with Liam after prom. He reveals that it was Jen all along. Annie, who hasn't been in a position to judge anyone for a long time, relishes the chance to be all, "Wow, that shit is fucked!" Dixon wonders how siblings can get so messed up. Then they have a good laugh about what disasters they've become and how they barely k
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now each other anymore. Good times!
Back at Silver's, Naomi complains about being alone in the world, save a horse. Silver reminds her that horse comes with 200 grand. She heads to the kitchen for a sugar-and-carb recon mission, and Naomi takes the chance to make an apology call. To Annie of all people.
Over at the hospital, Ivy doodles on Navid's cast and fills him in on their successful first stab at espionage. Liam is lost in his thoughts, so Ivy suggests they go get burgers. She puts on her shoes, which jogs Navid's memory of the shoes he saw while tumbling down the stairs. He realizes there's only one kid at West Bev who eschews flip flops in favor of steel-toed boots. He announces that he was pushed down the stairs, and he knows who did it. Cut to black.
week: Winter Wonderland dance. Avert your eyes, kids! Naomi may or may not have been "tanning her tatas" to go topless.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see where the Bev-Niners will be 20 Years from Now.
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