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Rumors begin to swirl about Annie's sext. Apropos of that, Navid considers running a story on the phenomenon in the West Bev Blade, though he's primarily motivated by to get a story about anything but high school tennis superstar Teddy in the paper. Well-intentioned AAdrianna scores the interview with Teddy anyway. Navid plays serious hardball with Teddy, making himself look like an ass and revealing that Teddy is back in L.A. because he ejected from Exeter after getting caught with two naked girls. Way to make yourself look vindictive and Teddy look like a pimp, bro. Then Navid tells AAdrianna that she can't be friends with Teddy. Man, he's on fire.
Naomi spends most of the episode playing a tech geek like a fiddle so she can send out Annie's sext anonymously to everyone she's ever met. Annie learns about the sext before it's sent out and prostrates herself before Naomi. She even falsely admits to having sex with Liam in hopes that Naomi will erase the picture. Somehow this actually makes Naomi doubt that it happened. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, that one. In the end, Naomi still gets goaded into sending the sext out as retribution against Liam. Annie gets a double dose of crappy karma when Navid's interview with Teddy hits the air and the blonde drops a bombshell -- he was the one who found Annie's hit-and-run victim way back in June.
Elsewhere, boys will be boys. Liam gets connived by Jen and coerced by his jackass dad (John Schneider!) to refocus his energies into joining the surfing team. He tries that for about five minutes before deciding he and Naomi aren't finished with each other yet. He goes to her house and walks into a whole pile of torment from Jen, sparking his anger. Thus ensues much punching of glass doors.
Dixon has officially moved on from Silver, though she is still hung up on him. He is well aware of it and doesn't care, embracing his newfound bachelor freedom and surfing with his bros Teddy and Liam. Now… not to be beholden to stereotypes, but how does a black kid from Kansas know how to surf? Still, when he makes the team, Silver thinks it's the perfect opportunity to reconcile. She calls him and watches as he ignores her call. Sadness.
Matthews spent his summer traveling through Vietnam and cultivating the greasiest mop ever. Jen takes note and bails out on a date with him to wear her pearls to some fancy event with an intensely chiseled chin (and the guy attached to it). Matthews naively courts her with (wooden) "pearls" from Vietnam. She goes down on him… and probably more. Whore. Continued her class act, Jen later tells Naomi that she's only keeping Matthews around so her sugar daddies won't realize she's a gold diggin' hussy.
Oh yeah, and Rumer Willis parades her megachin around for a hot minute.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see which era of vloggers Val and Beth think is less realistic in TV is the Answer!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Fuckers (Teddy), fucking around (Liam) and fuck-ups (both of the texting variety: Silver and Ethan's secret romance, Annie letting herself get photographed naked). Oh yeah, and Annie killed that guy that time.
All of West Bev has convened in the quad for the activities fair. Naomi shoves her cleavage into some tech dork's face to see whether she can send a text message anonymously. Her devious plan is interrupted by Silver and AAdrianna. They spot Liam in the distance ("Douchebag alert!") and switch directions abruptly, which points Silver's eye in the direction of Dixon checking out the Kabbalah Club booth. Of course West Bev has a Kabbalah Club. She is convinced their love is too special to end so suddenly. The girls advise her to give things a week to let Dixon calm down.
Across the lawn, Navid is trying to drum up interest in the Blade. Dixon comes over to see if Silver is still staring pathetically at him. He launches into a speech about how it's totally over. New year, new Dixon. But Navid is too distracted by BMOC Teddy ("Douchebag alert.") to really hear it. Dixon tells him to grow up and get over it. Navid returns to his snake oil selling: "Join the Blaze! We may not be popular, but we've got heart!" Ha!
Inside, Annie is moping around in the bathroom, thinking about what a worthless jogger-killer she is. Naomi stomps in and corners her: "You have no idea how hellish I'm about to make your life."
Naomi heads back outside, where Liam catches up to her. She says she doesn't have to talk to him because he hasn't contacted her for three months. He explains that he was sent to an outdoor boot camp where there were no communication devices. He apologizes. She finds it insufficient and calls him out for having sex with Annie, of all people. Of course he didn't, so he looks at her in confusion. He admits that he did cheat on her, but not with Annie. She asks who, and lo and behold! Who should drive up at that very moment. Jen. The Best Sister Ever! They drive off with the following facial expressions -- Naomi: Pouty. Liam: Forlorn. Jen: Conniving bitch. Credits.
Liam heads back home to find his mom struggling with a coffee machine and Jen sitting at his dining table. The two ladies have caucused and decided that Liam needs to stay away from Naomi. Jen plays the cloyingly sympathetic sister: "She's finally beginning to heal, you know?" Liam starts to fly off the handle, but his mom cuts him off. She promises he'll stay away from Naomi. Jen makes a swift exit now that her dirty business is done.
Back at West Bev, AAdrianna walks up as Silver leaves a pitiful and desperate message on Dixon's voicemail. Silver spots her out of the corner of her eye and changes course dramatically, pretending she's pumped about seeing her uncle Don at Thanksgiving. AAdrianna calls her out, and Silver admits she was calling Dixon. Plus, now she looks like a psycho. (Though I guess she should be used to that by now.)
They head into the Blaze meeting. Navid welcomes everyone. He is pumped that they have now doubled their staff to a whopping 12 writers. That number drops dramatically when a couple of stoners realize it's not that kind of blaze.
Over in Poncey-ville, Matthews shows up to Jen and Naomi's house bearing gifts -- and the greasiest hair since Brandon Davis. Seriously, Eggold, cut that shit. He proudly eyes a craftwork necklace he's brought to her and heads up to the door. She appears in a formal gown. He jokes that she's a little overdressed for sushi, and she slathers on some faux embarrassment for double-booking her evening. She explains that an "old friend" is taking her to a benefit and invites him in to catch up. He helps her put on some pearls. She claims to think they're stodgy but says she has to wear them because they were a gift -- from the friend (a.k.a. sugar daddy) who's about to pick her up in a minute.
While they wait, they make small talk about his trip to Vietnam. She has been there, and he is surprised that she actually went on hikes and did things other than shop and prostitute herself for social status. Fair enough. She admits that she didn't actually do the hike but instead helicoptered to the top. Always true to form. Luckily, they're saved by the bell. Jen's special friend and his ridiculously chiseled chin show up to zips Jen off in his ultra-expensive car and scoff at what that stubble-faced, stringy-haired loser was even doing at her place. It's a story that will make Muffy and Tripp just die!
Back at the Blaze meeting, Navid is soliciting features pitches. Some guy is all sorts of titillated at the rumor floating around about Annie's sexy photo. Amid horrified glances from the gang, Navid shoots that idea down immediately. Rumer Willis pipes up, calling Navid "boss man" -- because high school students totally do that. She mentions this oh-so-hot new transfer student who is juggling life as an aspiring pro tennis player with his high school studies. Of course she is talking about Teddy. Navid squirms in his seat until Ru mentions that he has a no-interview policy because his famous actor father has been burned by the press. AAdrianna lights up, thinking she can help her man score a great story. Which would be true if he weren't so pitiably insecure.
Over at the Nueva Casa, Annie gets a call from Silver warning her about the sext. Annie hangs up suddenly. At the same time, Navid calls Dixon to give him the heads-up. He acts aloof, saying that he is done dealing with Annie's crap. New Dixon sucks.
Back at West Bev, Navid says he thinks the Teddy profile is too soft. He proposes doing a piece on sexting without explicitly mentioning Annie. AAdrianna points out the obvious loopholes in this theory and talks up how amazing and juicy the story on Teddy would be. Navid stifles a pout.
At Liam's house, his mother reprimands him for being disrespectful to Jen. She tells Liam to take Naomi's brush-off at face value and suggests he stay away from Naomi, especially since she triggers his bad behavior. She recommends he join "the team" and make some friends so he can have some structure. In walks Liam's blowhard dad, spouting off about what a shoddy job their gardener did. Boo hoo. He jokes that he'll invite the gardener's wife over and botch some plastic surgery on her -- almost as funny as Russell Brand's date rape joke! Liam points out that bullying the gardener is a dick thing to do, so his stepdad drops the hammer on Liam's attitude problem. Because the attitude problem couldn't possibly stem from the fact that Dr. Dad is an insufferable prick. Liam's mom tries to change the subject, but Dr. Dad reminds Liam that he still has the whole credit card fraud thing hanging over his head. He warns Liam that, if he doesn't straighten up his act, he'll be off to somewhere much harsher than the wilderness.
The day at West Bev, AAdrianna meets up with Teddy for lunch and persuades him to do the profile for the Blaze. She knows how much it means to Navid, she says. They get to catching up, and the issue of her pregnancy comes up. She says Navid has been nothing but supportive and wonderful, even though the baby wasn't his. He asks if she's okay now, and she insists she is. "Good," he says, "because you're pretty important to me now." Just then Navid walks up, and Teddy gives him the "good news" about how he'll give the Blaze an interview. Navid half-heartedly pretends to be excited.
Inside, Naomi catches up with the tech dork to ask him when they can meet up to discuss the anonymous texting thing. He pushes his luck, asking her to go to dinner with him, and, because her machinations know no shame, she agrees to lunch. Navid and AAdrianna come up. He gives a perfunctory hello and leaves. AAdrianna pawns it off to his stress over the Blaze. She notes that he's even considering doing a story about the sext just to hook viewers. Naomi coldly says he should do the story .AAdrianna says that even Annie doesn't deserve that and wonders what kind of a dirt bag would distribute a naked picture of a high schooler. Naomi stands by uncharacteristically silent. Suspiciously silent, some might say.
Outside, Matthews and Harry play some b-ball and have a rather cute bonding scene. Matthews thinks he's playing with fire because he likes Jen more than she likes him. He recognizes that he's not nearly as rich as her normal boyfriends but thinks she's "worth winning." Harry encourages him. Because he's never met that heinous hag.
Over in the quad, Annie approaches Date Rape Mark to ask if it's true that he took a naked picture of her. His silence confirms it. He tries to tell her it's not a big deal. She is horrified. She grabs his phone and stomps it with her shoe. He tells her he's not the one she should worry about and breaks it that Naomi has a copy of the picture, too. This = Annie's worst nightmare.
The Beach. Teddy and Dixon are waxing their boards and chatting before surf team try-outs start. Teddy claims surfing is his first love. What a tool. Liam joins the conversation, and he and Dixon bond over both being from New York. Then they mock Teddy for being from L.A., complete with Ryan Seacrest allusion. They have a good laugh over calling each other gay, as men do. Dixon said he didn't peg Liam for a surfer. Liam says it's really just a diversionary tactic so he doesn't pound a bitch or commit grand theft auto. They hit the water, and Liam tells Dixon he didn't sleep with Annie before they catch their first wave. Gratuitous surfing scenes ensue.
Back at the Clarkette Compound, Ryan leaves an enveloped marked with the Vietnamese word for pearls. Sucker.
The day at West Bev, Annie finds Liam and begs him to tell Naomi that they didn't have sex. He says she didn't believe him, so she asks if he at least told her who he did have sex with. He says it's complicated. Needless to say, she's not sympathetic. She tells him that Naomi is going to ruin her life if he doesn't come clean. Unfortunately for Annie, he just spent three months shitting in a hole in the ground. I don't know if he's so concerned about abstract notions of life-ruining.
Interview time! Ru operates the camera and AAdrianna smiles brightly as Navid begins the drilling. Within two questions he's calling Teddy arrogant. In a rapid fire sequence, he pointedly implies that Teddy is an entitled d-bag of the highest degree. Then he asks why Teddy transferred from posh Exeter. Teddy sticks with his story that he missed the West Coast. Navid points out that Teddy actually got caught with two naked girls in his room. He accuses him of being so promiscuous that he's forgotten his conquests. Teddy handles is with amazing composure, smirking that he doesn't kiss and tell. Teddy: 1, Navid: 0.
Down the hall, Annie meekly walks into the girls' bathroom where Naomi is furiously applying lip gloss. She pleads with her not to send out the sext and to erase it. She says she'll do anything. Naomi icily tells her to stop lying and admit what she did. Annie, defeated, asks, "If I admit it, will you just erase the picture?" Naomi doesn't make any promises. Annie admits to something she didn't do, then asks once more for Naomi to erase the picture before walking out, broken.
Back in the interview room, AAdrianna wonders what the hell Navid just did. He claims he was being a journalist. She knows he was being a jealous boyfriend. He calls her paranoid. She's all, "Touché," and sweetly (read: spitefully) asks Teddy to give her a ride to the beach.
AAdrianna meets up with Naomi and Silver at the beach. While Silver way overcompensates by cheering on Dixon (can you cheer on a surfing match?), Naomi admits she's having doubts about whether Annie really had sex with Liam. Silver is heartened by this development, but Naomi tells her the jury's still out. Just then, Liam wipes out. Dixon, on the other hand, is surprisingly good at surfing. (For a kid from the inner city-by-way-of-Kansas, I must again note.) Silver gets really excited when she realizes that he has a good chance of making the team. She thinks this bump will put him in such a good mood that he'll be willing to listen to her and possibly take her back. Naomi and AAdrianna mumble amongst themselves about straitjackets. Silver recommences totally inappropriate cheering.
The guys return to the sand, and the gnarly surfer coach posts the team members. All three guys made it -- and if you're surprised, I'm not sure you're running on all cylinders.
Back at West Bev, Jen seductively walks into Matthews' room to "thank" him for the imitation pearls. Yeah, you know where this is going. Ew.
Back at the beach, Silver seizes the moment to approach Dixon. Instead of just going up to him face-to-face, she calls him from a safe distance, albeit a distance from which she is patently spying on him. This tactic bites her in the ass because she has to watch as he chooses not to answer her call. She starts crying.
Navid walks up to Liam and Dixon. Dixon mentions that Silver is still calling him, even though he said it's over. Per his mother's warning, Liam reinforces Dixon's stance that saying you're done means you're done. He does this while looking wistfully at Naomi, I might add. Navid laughs off this notion, saying that things between Naomi and Liam definitely aren't over. They get into a whole discourse about how guys are straight-talkers and girls never mean what they say. And, while he is correct in this instance, no one should ever take advice from Navid. Homeboy is clueless. Regardless, Liam decides not all is lost with Naomi.
Up the beach, Naomi and AAdrianna comforting a sobbing Silver. Navid walks up, oblivious to anyone else's drama but his own, and Naomi says she'll take Silver home. Navid begins to apologize for being an assbag to Teddy, but somehow his apology turns into a command that AAdrianna can't hang out with Teddy anymore. She calls him out for a lame, self-serving apology. He comes clean about his insecurities re: Teddy and AAdrianna knockin' boots. He thinks it's only fair that she change her social life to make him more comfortable. She thinks it's only fair that he should shut the hell up and stop being a nimrod.
Meanwhile, Liam makes his way to the Clarkette Compound. Of course his knock is met not by Naomi but by Janky Jen. She lies that Naomi's not there, then gives him a whole load of fresh Hell. He says he didn't want to hurt Naomi any further before because he thought they were over, but, now that he knows they're not, he's going to expose Jen's skaggy ways in hopes of salvaging his relationship with Naomi. She points out the logistical problems with that approach, since she is Naomi's blood, not to mention her sole support system. Then she toys with him, asking if he's going to lose his temper and reminding him that, if he does, it's back to the teen clink for him. He walks up all ominously, and she shuts the glass door in his face. He responds by punching the shit out of it. Wildly counter-productive, but hella dramatic. Commercials.
We rejoin Liam at his own house, where his mother is again reprimanding him as she bandages up his hand. Dr. Dad comes in, and Liam's mom covers for him. She warns Liam that he'll be on his own time.
Naomi returns to the Compound, where Jen is getting her daily massage. She asks if Jen is actually interested in Matthews, so Jen smugly reveals that she's just keeping him around so she doesn't get a gold-digger reputation and her sugar daddies don't catch wise to her ulterior motives. Naomi, to her discredit, is highly amused by this scheme. Speaking of schemes, Jen changes the subject to Naomi's sexting plot. Naomi says she finally figured it out after a two-hour lunch at IHOP with the tech dork. She hasn't sent the text, though. She's having second thoughts about ruining Annie's life because she's not sure if Annie actually slept with Liam. She mentions that Liam admitted to cheating, just not with Annie.
Like a cornered animal, Jen starts clawing her way out. She patronizes Naomi, calling her sweet and innocent, then references how Naomi's mother didn't want to believe that their father was cheating as a way to make Naomi second-guess herself. "She was just optimistic," she says, "like you." And Naomi walks right into it, sending the text off straight away. Manipulation 101.
The morning, Annie encounters all-too-knowing faces at school. "Nice rack," says some random sleaze. Silver, suddenly sympathetic, intercepts her as she starts crying. She comforts Annie, joking that she knows how it feels for people to see her naked. Annie says she can't believe Naomi would actually do this. Silver doesn't believe Naomi is capable of such malice. Feeling snakebit, Annie decides that Silver is on Naomi's side and storms off.
Out in the quad, Dixon punches Date Rape Mark. It makes me all kinds of happy. Not only because he still cares for his sister, even though he's been acting like a massive ass, but also because Dixon has been a little whiny of late. Action was needed. Navid, you're .
Back inside, Annie walks into an empty classroom. Teddy's interview is playing on the monitor. She is lost in her own misery until she hears Teddy mention how he found a half-dead homeless man on the road last June. Translation: Annie is fucked.
week: Party at Teddy's yacht! The Tedster makes his move on AAdrianna. Dixon finds company with a girl who's not Silver. And Annie has absolutely nothing to lose, so she brings out the bitch. Preparing for prison perhaps. Be a bitch, or be someone's bitch, as they say.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see which era of vloggers Val and Beth think is less realistic in TV is the Answer!