Back from the commercial, Sheetal steels herself, and as the soundtrack pulsates with the intensity of a summer blockbuster, she drops the crab in the pot. Unfortunately, in her haste to do the deed, she drops the crab awkwardly enough so that it manages to grab hold of the pot's side and she's forced to bang it down into the water in a sequence that I'm reluctant to admit was a lot more comical than it should have been. "Sorry," she says to the crab, as she slams down the lid. "Sorry." "I do not understand you," the crab says, "as I am a crab and incapable of speaking English. Also, this boiling water has, in point of fact, killed me." No time to pause for a few hymns and some solemn remembrances of the crab's rich and full life, though -- if Sheetal's going to kill a crab, then by Thor's hammer, she is going to win this contest. She'll be making a Thai-style crab curry. And then sending a condolence card to the crab's widow.
The judges stand over Sharone's station and comment on the many, many ways his dish could go horribly wrong. "This is the first time I've ever seen you nervous," Joe says. Perhaps your frank and honest discussion of his likelihood of failure might be contributing to that. Anyhow, Sharone thinks his toughest competition is Lee, which is fitting since I still can't tell the two of them apart. Lee doesn't think Sharone cooks from the heart. Me-ow, ladies.
Let's cut to the cooking chase. Time expires, and the contestants wait to see which three dishes the judges will choose to taste. I don't want to go out on a limb here, but it's probably not going to be Slim's effort, which she did not finish in time. "It looked like a pile of crap on bread," Slim says of her dish. That is a generous assessment. Gordon wants to know how Sheetal is feeling. "Awesome," she says. Everyone gives her encouraging round of applause. See, once you kill one crab, it's easy to make it two.
And the three winners? Gordon wants to taste Sharone's plate -- a Dungeness crab cucumber roll with an apple ginger reduction. Lee looks like he wants to swallow his tongue. Gordon enthuses about the technique and asks if Sharone was shooting for a vibrant citrus flavor balanced with the delicate sweetness of the crab. Sharone says he was, and reminds Gordon to try some of reduction when he tucks into the dish. "I love the fact that you're now trying to tell me how to eat," Gordon says in the tone of voice that suggests he does not love it even a little bit. The other contestants smile at the sight of Sharone being humiliated. "The problem with that dish," Gordon says after tasting it and pausing long enough for me to make my own Dungeness crab roll, "is that automatically, I want more. Delicious. Fresh. Vibrant." The problem with that verbal tic....