We open on the Glenoak Community Church. Chandler and RevCam are having a lover's quarrel; apparently, RevCam is trying to "push adoption" on Chandler, who says that he isn't even thinking about dating right now, so he's certainly not thinking about kids. RevCam says never mind, and starts packing up to leave. "You going home already?" Chandler asks. "Yeah, well, I've already been at work for two seconds, and that's two seconds too many!" RevCam says. Chandler asks if he's still worried about Annie. RevCam says not anymore, and that "it took [him] a while, but [he] get[s] it." Well, that's cool. It's taken me eight years, and I still don't get Annie. My worry, however, has long since turned into begrudging acceptance. RevCam spouts the little gem of wisdom that "different people react to death in different ways." It's taken him twenty-plus years of ministerial service to figure out what it took me about five years of actual life to. Brilliant. Anyway, Annie's way of reacting to her father's death is "very different." Chandler says Annie is just so "happy." She's happy that her father died. This show's take on family values never ceases to amaze me, especially since Annie wasn't quite this happy when her mother died, was she? I guess it's only sad when mothers die. Anyway, RevCam invites Chandler over for dinner; Chandler begs off, saying he'll just pick up a pizza or seven. Then he gets lost in a pizza-related reverie so intense that he is able to resist RevCam's numerous attempts to strong-arm him into eating at the CamPound. Chandler doesn't even blink when RevCam says he knows how tough Chandler's break-up with "Paris and Peter" has been, but I do. "Paris and Peter"? Ewwww. Chandler again refuses to have dinner at the CamPound, saying that he doesn't around to be around "all that happy." Happy's sharp ears overhear this, and she goes into a deep depression until she remembers that, hell, she doesn't exactly want to be around Chandler either. Chandler says he's not happy, and he doesn't even know what happy means. RevCam leaves.
All manner of horrible sounds are coming from the CamKitchen. Annie and the twins run in, singing about the "rhythm of life" and skipping all around the island. Apparently, it has a powerful beat, although you wouldn't know it, considering that no one in this scene seems to be able to keep it. Or the "key of life," either. Then they hold hands in a circle and spin around for a bit, Annie doing some more bellow-singing about the "rhythm in the bedroom." The song ends, and SamVid request an encore. "OKAY!" screams Annie, in a terrifying close-up. They start up again, and suddenly additional singers and a back-up band get piped in. The singers sound kind of like the Wizard of Oz munchkins. Creepy! Never before have I been so happy to hear the theme song.
“ Asslee says that she didn't want to say anything, but she's been feeling really great lately. You can tell because her head is even bobblier than usual. Maybe she's happy about her newest hairstyle, which makes her transformation into Jem and the Holograms nearly complete. ”
Today's Opening Credits Timewaster takes place in the Treehouse of Lurv. Lucy carefully sets the table and sits down to eat pizza with Kevin. She then attacks her pizza with her fork, shredding it apart and removing all the toppings, making horrid facial expressions as she does so. The subsequent sickening close-ups of the pizza being mauled and Lucy's nostrils flaring are no match in nastiness, however, for the revelation that this episode was written by Brenda Hampton. I might as well curl up in a fetal position on the floor of my shower now and get it over with.
Kevin asks Lucy what her problem is; if she didn't want pizza for dinner, she should have said something. He's willing to eat whatever she wants. Lucy says that she'll just sneak into the house and steal some dinner from her parents. Kevin nixes the idea, saying that Annie wanted them to have dinner together, and away from the rest of the family. Lucy says that's just because Annie doesn't want Lucy to ask her about Charles. Kevin says he thinks maybe it's because Lucy's parents are sick of them always hanging around. Lucy refuses to believe this very reasonable notion, then asks if Kevin and Annie are conspiring to keep Lucy out of the CamPound.
Ruthie enters Martin's room without knocking and asks if he's sure he doesn't want to eat with the rest of the family. Martin says he's busy sending an email to his dad. Since when can the Camdens afford to have individual computers with internet hook-ups in their bedrooms? Ruthie asks if the email is about her mother, because the whole world revolves around the Camdens. Ruthie then asks Martin if Annie is "scaring" him. Well, duh. That's like asking if the sun is going to rise tomorrow morning. Martin says he doesn't get Annie being so happy, and he doesn't know how to act around her. Ruthie doesn't think Annie really is happy, Martin says she's sure doing a good job of faking it, then, and that he's been in a really good mood lately himself. Ruthie says she has too.
Asslee's having a pizza with her parents. Both of them. I was starting to think that her mother didn't exist. The subject of dinnertime conversation is, of course, Annie and how damn happy she is. Asslee says that she didn't want to say anything, but she's been feeling really great lately. You can tell because her head is even bobblier than usual. Maybe she's happy about her newest hairstyle, which makes her transformation into Jem and the Holograms nearly complete. Seriously, though, what the hell is going on with Asslee's unevenly-chopped bangs? They look like what happened to my hair the time my grandmother left four-year-old me alone in a room with a pair of scissors.
Peter, Vic, and Paris are having dinner together too, and also talking about Annie's dead dad and her resulting good mood. Guess what? They've all been feeling "strangely happy" lately too. "Something's going on. And I like it!" says Vic, taking a huge bite out of his sandwich. Well, that settles it. Annie definitely threw some X into the Glenoak reservoir.