“ Carter's all surly, not meeting Lisa's eyes as he says he thinks they're okay. Lisa pleasantly jokes, 'Are you sure? I'd hate for you to lose him again!' 'Can you just hold his arms still?' Carter snaps. Lisa's like, 'Take a Midol, princess, jesus.' ”
In a trauma room, an exasperated Carter asks Yosh -- Yosh! It's been so long since he's appeared on the show that his hair is almost as long as mine -- whether he's seen Simon, but Yosh says he hasn't. Carter turns on his heel and stomps back out, where Lisa, accompanied by Simon, asks, "Lose something?" Carter picks him up around the legs. Lisa asks where Simon's mother is; Carter says that she went to the cafeteria to get some chocolate milk, but that Simon won't get any until he lets Carter draw his blood. "I don't want you to take my blood!" Simon whines. I know the kid who's playing Simon is, like, four, but still -- he really sucks. Lisa offers, "We're only going to take about this much," and indicates a small amount with her fingers. Carter plops a still-complaining Simon down on a bed and tells him that if he doesn't move around, it won't hurt. "I don't want a needle!" Simon moans. Lisa suggests a papoose, which is a kind of restraining blanket used on kids to hold them still during medical or dental procedures; it's different from a similar device, known as a pedi-wrap, in that a papoose restrains a kid against a board, while a pedi-wrap is just like a blanket with straps used to tie up the kid. Carter's all surly, not meeting Lisa's eyes as he says he thinks they're okay. Lisa pleasantly jokes, "Are you sure? I'd hate for you to lose him again!" "Can you just hold his arms still?" Carter snaps. Lisa's like, "Take a Midol, princess, jesus," and leans down to hold Simon's arms to his sides. Carter commands Simon, "Be brave and do not move." Okay, nice. If a doctor told me that, in that tone, I would start screaming and flailing my arms around -- which is exactly what Simon does. Lisa and Carter straighten up, exasperated. Lisa suggests that they try an arm board, but Carter says they should take a break instead. Well, they shouldn't have tried to do anything when the kid's mom wasn't around. Anyway, Yosh comes out, clutching a tissue to his forehead and telling Lisa he needs another nurse. Carter tells her to go.
In a curtain area, a gowned patient is sitting on the bed with a pillow case over his head; he's grunting and wriggling around. Yosh tells Lisa the patient kicked him in the face, and Malik tells her he needs help with "the leathers." Lisa calls for Haldol as Yosh warns her to be careful: "He bit a nurse's finger in Psych!" Lisa asks what he's doing in the ER, and Yosh says he cut up his face. Luka "Merry Prankster" Kovac walks in and asks whether they need help. The patient grabs Lisa by the shoulders and starts shaking her around. Luka takes a syringe of Haldol from Yosh and injects the patient in the thigh. Malik yelps, "Hey! What did you do that for?" The patient whips off the pillow case and we see that it's..."Dr." Dave Malucci. Wah wah. Yosh breathlessly tells Luka that it was an April Fools' joke. Then why did he give Luka the meds, if he knew Luka wasn't in on the joke? "April Fools'?" Luka repeats uncomprehendingly. "Was that Haldol?" squeaks Dr. Dave. Hee!
While the credits and commercials run, I'd like to take this opportunity to explain that I recently read a story on Erik Palladino in InStyle, and they spelled his character's name with two "L"s, which means I've been spelling it wrong all this time. Or so it would seem. But upon further investigation at the official ER site produced by Warner Bros., they spell it with one "L." Since life is too short for me to go back and correct, like, thirty recaps, and since the most reliable source spells it with one "L," I'm going to continue spelling it the way I have been. I will say that the name looks better with one "L." And did you know that Erik Palladino is shacked up with Sarah-Jane Potts, who plays Molly on Felicity? They were very cute in the photo spreads, and they have a nice house. Goran Visnjic was all over the article, too, so I guess that he and Palladino are friends in real life. Anyway.
“ Carter glances up the hall to see Simon blowing bubbles with his mom, and Rena 'Barely Legal Co-Ed' Trujillo. ”
After the break, we're at the desk. Kerry "Lost, In Love" Weaver scolds Malik, Luka, Yosh, Lisa, and a dozing Dr. Dave, "The board is full, gurneys are lining the halls, we've got another thirty in the rack. We desperately need to clear out the rooms, and you're wasting your time on April Fools' pranks! No more shenanigans for the rest of the day. Have I made myself clear?" Yosh and Malik quietly tell her she has. Getting no response from him, Weaver barks, "DAVE." Lisa smacks the back of his head, and he awakens with a start and says, "Yeah." Weaver asks Luka how much Haldol he gave Dr. Dave; Luka says it was ten milligrams. Weaver tells Dr. Dave to take a nap, but he protests that he's fine. Dude, who turns down a nap? Freak! "What'd I just say?" she tests him. "Go take a nap," he attempts, as Yosh and Malik snicker in the background. "Before that," Weaver clarifies. "No more fooling around?" Dr. Dave guesses. Weaver tells him that's right, and orders him to get back to work. She crutches out from behind the desk, only to see that a bunch of aluminum cans tied together with string are tangled around the end of her cane. "Malucci!" she screams. Dr. Dave blearily swears it wasn't him, as everyone else behind the desk cracks up to greater and less degrees. Weaver removes the cans and continues on her non-merry way.
Carter arrives at the desk just as everyone's laughter is fading (and as Dr. Dave starts nodding off again), and clips, "What?" Lisa chuckles, "Nothing." Indicating Dr. Dave, he tersely asks, "What's the matter with him?" "Ten of Haldol," Lisa says, bustling off. "What?" Carter repeats. He flips through his papers a moment, and then notices soap bubbles floating through the air around his face. He glances up the hall to see Simon blowing bubbles with his mom, and Rena "Barely Legal Co-Ed" Trujillo. I have to ask -- isn't the ER a sterile environment? I know they're only blowing a few bubbles, but wouldn't they leave little slimy puddles of soapy residue wherever they land, and burst, which could be a hazard -- or, at least, mess up the joint? I can tell you that's why my sister and I were never allowed to blow bubbles in the house, even though we could never do really big ones outside because of the merciless prairie wind. Evidently my mom does not work in the ER at County General, because the bubble-blowing continues apace, and Carter hurries over, grinning and totally failing to put a stop to it. Carter greets Rena with a familiar if brusque "hey." "Dr. Carter," she smiles non-committally. Carter brandishes an empty milk carton and scolds Simon, "You were supposed to get this after we took your blood!" Mrs. Simon apologizes, saying that Simon was thirsty and scared, and immediately offers to go and get another one. Carter tells her it's okay. She says she doesn't mind, and heads off, telling Simon, over her shoulder, to be a good boy. Simon now has a chocolate milk moustache that makes him look like Pubert Addams. With Simon between them, Carter informs Rena, "You know, I didn't call you down here." Rena said that the nurses did, telling her that Carter was having some trouble. "Not me," Carter lies. Rena tells him that Simon is ready for the needle now. Simon is not paying either one of them any attention, and continues to blow bubbles. Malik emerges from a curtain area and Carter asks him to help. Rena says that it's better if no one holds on to Simon, and Carter's all, "Yeah, right, whatever, girly." "Trust me," Rena says soulfully. Carter tells Malik to "give Simon...a friendly hug." Rena shakes her head slightly at Malik, and tells Simon to keep blowing bubbles: "Blow right through the pain." Oh, lord. Carter's like, "Okay, I'll try it your way, cuckoo." Carter sticks Simon, and Simon doesn't make a sound. Carter orders a bunch of labs. Rena tells Simon he was very brave. Malik offers to "hook [Simon] up with a band-aid." Aw. He's gonna hook Simon up. A-ight?
As Lisa watches from the desk, Malik attends to Simon, and Rena and Carter move slightly away to flirt. He asks how her internship is going, and she says it's "good." Carter says he hasn't seen her around lately, and that she must have been busy. "Yeah," she says agreeably, and then says she should get back upstairs. Carter's all schmoopy, "Nice to see you again!" "You too," Rena says, getting the hell out of there. Did someone buy her a copy of The Rules for Teens or something?
Two cops -- one male, one female -- accompany Doris as she wheels in a trauma patient and gives Elizabeth "The Mummy's Curse" Corday the bullet: the guy's name is Eddie Palcynski, and he's hypotensive after a gunshot wound to the belly. Noting the cops, Elizabeth muses that Eddie isn't an innocent victim; Ms. Cop says that Eddie held up a liquor store. As the caravan passes Mrs. Howard, she screeches at Mr. Cop, "They stole my purse!" Everyone ignores her. Eddie tries to protest his innocence; Doris yells his stats to Elizabeth, and Ms. Cop tells Eddie to shut up. Elizabeth asks what happened to Mr. Cop, who is wounded and holding his right arm; he says he hurt himself chasing Eddie's partner over a fence. Elizabeth asks whether Mr. Cop caught the guy, and Mr. Cop ruefully replies, "Not exactly." Ms. Cop wryly but fondly comments that he would have had to run in order to catch him.
Benton comes into Eddie's trauma room as they move Eddie onto the bed. Benton asks Elizabeth whether she needs help, and she asks Benton to look at Mr. Cop's arm. Ms. Cop cracks that he only needs a band-aid, and Mr. Cop shoots back, "Yeah, over your mouth!" What are they, Will and Grace? As Benton leads Mr. Cop away, Ms. Cop calls him "Kenny" and tells him that, if he's good, maybe he'll get a lollipop.
In the hall, Mrs. Howard is still screeching at passersby that she's lost her purse. Weaver asks a passing Randi, "Who's got the screamer?" Randi says that Mrs. Howard is Finch's patient, now that Benton's cleared her belly. Weaver asks whether they can move her into a room, and Randi snorts, "If we had one." Randi gets to the desk, where Carter effusively compliments her outfit. Randi thanks him, a little taken aback. Lisa, sitting on a rolling chair, glides back, suspiciously squinting at Carter. "You look nice too," Carter says, as if obliged. Lisa gets up and asks him, "So, are you Dr. Carter now, or Mr. Hyde?" Carter insincerely apologizes for his earlier pissiness, claiming he just needed a cup of coffee. Lisa smirks, "I suppose seeing Miss Bubbles had nothing to do with your sudden mood change?" Carter squeaks, "No!" Lisa observes, "You've been moping around here for days, and then the minute she shows up, you turn into Mr. Congeniality?" Carter claims that he was just being friendly. Lisa gives him a "whatever" look, and he insists, "I was!" Before they can get to the heart of the matter, Chuny appears at the ambulance-bay doors and asks, "Did anyone order a school bus?"