Lucy and Mike are sitting on a loveseat on the porch of Casa Camden. They helpfully remind us that they had a deal where, once Lucy got her acceptance letter to college, they would kiss. I never understood the point of that deal, actually. It's surely one of the stupider plot contrivances ever attempted. But whatever. So Lucy and Mike get to their anticipated-by-nobody kiss, nervously. I guess it must be because of the G rating, but watching the kissing scenes on this show is about as erotic as watching someone scrub mould off of bathtub grout. It might have something to do with the fact that these kisses are always shot from behind someone's head, so that no ultra-prudes could get offended by actual lip action. After a couple of false starts, Mike claims that he and Lucy have "absolutely no chemistry." He also says that kissing Lucy is like kissing his sister. Uh, Mike, I won't ask, but you have to promise not to tell, okay? Mike says he was only kissing Lucy to honour their agreement, and then tries to guilt her by saying that he's still attracted to her but that she is not attracted to him. On top of all that, he asks her for a favour. Lucy's pretty peeved by now, but instead of rolling her eyes and telling him never to call her again, she tries to kiss him a few more times. When he doesn't respond, she stalks into the house. The closed captioning says that she slams the door, but it's not really all that loud. Those Camdens can't even do temper tantrums right. Mike just kind of smirks, but since that's his usual facial expression, it's probably not significant here.
Here come the opening credits, including that scene where RevCam and Annie feed strawberries to each other and then kiss. You'd think that because they have the blessing of holy matrimony on their side, one might actually see them kiss, but no deal. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. There are some things I just don't want to see, and to be perfectly honest, that includes anyone on this show kissing anyone else.
After the commercial break, we see Lucy running through the CamPound, looking anxiously into all the empty rooms downstairs. It's weirdly reminiscent of the opening in the original Scream movie, except this is neither scary nor entertaining. It looks like Lucy's checking all the doors, but in the end, it turns out she's been looking for Annie. Eh, it kills a couple of minutes, I guess. RevCam comes in, but Lucy doesn't want to talk to him about her problem. She leaves the room after claiming that "it's a guy thing." The person doing the annoying background music suddenly hammers out some discordant notes on a piano. I guess that's to let us know that RevCam galloping his way on a different path through the house to catch up to Lucy is what passes for comedy on this show. Sure, okay -- thanks for the heads-up, music person. When Eric does catch up to Lucy, he tries to tell her that she can talk to him about her problems too. It comes off sounding like he's trying to undercut Annie. Lucy gives him a chance, though, and repeats Mike's remark about kissing Lucy being like kissing his sister. RevCam thinks that's dandy. I wonder what his sister would think. Just kidding, just kidding. Please don't bring Julie and Hank back on the show. Please?
Lucy stalks off. She eventually finds Annie giving the twins a bath. However, SuperMom seems less concerned with their cleanliness than she is with trying to get them to call her "Mama." Oh, man, is she one of those losers who only had kids so that she could satisfy her ego by turning the offspring into performing seals? Apparently the twins can say the word 'Mama'? -- it's just that they've been saying it to Ruthie instead of Annie. Lucy summarizes my feelings perfectly in one word: "So?" StupidMom throws a fit, tossing around inanities about how she carried the twins for nine months and now she expects to be called Mama. I wait for the writers to continue this stupid theme with a sly reference to wire hangers, but I realize I'm setting the bar too high. Lucy's anxious to get away from Annie's weirdness, so she says her own problem can wait. She leaves Annie prattling oafishly at the twins.
Ruthie is perched on the stairs. She's wearing a shirt that says "Heavy Metal" on it. I think there's a third word below that, but I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's something that turns it all into a biblical reference. Inexplicably, Ruthie wants an update on what's happening in the bathroom. That makes Lucy suspicious, but obviously she doesn't care enough to pry much. She continues up the stairs, and Ruthie smirks obnoxiously. Yeah, okay, we realize Ruthie's been training the twins to call her Mama. Do I win a prize? Can the prize be that you won't subject us to the rest of the crap you wrote for that wafer-thin subplot?
The Amazing St. Robbie is in the kitchen, putting on his coat in preparation for a date with John, when Dopey walks in. Robbie politely says that Matt and Matt's stupid hair can join them at the pool hall. Matt chooses to be sucky, and Robbie departs alone.
Dopey finds Simon and asks him what he's doing. Simon makes some unfunny joke about being in an auto race. Dopey counters with the even-less-funny, "So they teach sarcasm in high school now?" He calls Simon a jerk, to which Simon replies, "Ouch," in a voice so sarcastic that it actually is funny. Matt turns to leave, then comes back in and starts busting on Robbie. When Simon asks what he's talking about, Dopey starts free-associating, asking Simon to play pool. Like a good little Camden, Simon says he must stay in and study. This is followed by some more unwitty repartee, which I won't repeat, since it offends my comedic sensibilities. We agnostics have standards too, you know. It's just that they rarely have anything to do with regulating other people's sexual behaviour. I'm not sure exactly what it is Dopey is trying to accomplish here, but he keeps hassling Simon to play pool tonight. To his credit, Simon does not back down. I start to wonder if Dopey will be spewing increasingly strange non sequiturs at Simon forever. I wander into the room to chat with my husband for a bit. I convince him to take me to the craft store to buy supplies for making glycerin soaps. When we come back, Dopey is still prattling senselessly at Simon. We do a couple loads of laundry, and I get a little too ambitious trying to invent my own soap formulas. It takes a good long while to scrape my failed oatmeal-honey-cardamom soap out of the moulds, but when I get back to the VCR, Dopey is still nattering on. I pick up a nasty case of laryngitis and recover from it. A crow builds a nest and raises a family. Seasons change and civilizations crumble. Finally, Matt decides to leave Simon alone. I'm just in time to see him accost Ruthie with his complaint that his "best friend John" -- you know, the guy toward whom Dopey is so exceedingly unsupportive -- went out to play pool with Robbie. Ruthie helpfully points out that it must be because John "likes Robbie better." Ha! Neither Dopey nor Robbie is any great prize, as far as I'm concerned, but I never thought I'd find myself agreeing with Ruthie about anything. Shudder.
Down at the pool hall, St. Robbie shows off his newfound Camden-ness by prying into John's relationship with Priscilla. John says the weirdest thing: he mentions that the Not-So-Swingin' Bachelor Pad is too small for two people. Hmm, nobody ever said that when John and Dopey were living there together. John goes on to say that Priscilla is always baking stuff for him and keeping the fridge stocked. He's so lackluster about it, though, that Robbie figures out immediately that John is "miserable." Alas, that's how it is when a man is tied down to a woman and can't frolic with the other wolves. Or at least that's what the writers are hoping to convey, I imagine. John implores Robbie not to say a word to anyone about his troubles. Robbie says he won't. Famous last words, I'm sure. Robbie dispenses some of his saintly advice to John, suggesting that John discuss his issues with Priscilla. Wow, that is such an amazing suggestion. Where does he come up with this stuff? Obviously, divine intervention is required to think up advice that good. John comments that the Camden family is rubbing off on Robbie. I wonder if there's an easy household remedy to remove Camden stains from one's person. I'll bet it involves some sort of industrial-strength acid.
RevCam pays a visit to Simon's room, offering to assist him in his studies. Simon behaves rudely to him, and RevCam just takes it. Lovely. Simon suggests that Eric play pool with Dopey. Inexplicably, RevCam considers that a good suggestion. But Eric's really not having much luck today; even Dopey won't go out with him. Now, that's just sad. Bet you can't guess what Matt does in this scene. Does he dance a jig? Does he discover the cure for cancer? No, he just complains about Robbie for a bit. Honestly, for me, after all this time, Dopey's complaining has sort of blended together into a no-plot-having blur, but I think this time his troubles have something to do with Robbie "stealing" his best friend.
After Matt kicks RevCam out of his room, the ever-sensitive Eric goes to Lucy's room and tries to make her talk about her problems. She has already talked it out with Ruthie and doesn't need Eric's help. When the phone rings, she leaps for it. Finding out it's Mike calling, she shoos Eric away. Mike offers to fix her up in return for a favour. I'm hoping the favour he requests will be acting lessons, since that monotone thing he's doing really isn't working. Nor is the fact that it looks like he's reading a TelePrompTer. That's worse, actually, because I don't think they even use TelePrompTers when taping dramas. It turns out the favour Mike wants is that Lucy fix him up with someone named Elaina Casey. Lucy says she doesn't know Elaina. She motions for Ruthie to come over to her, and Ruthie violently shakes her head and mouths the word "no." Am I missing something? Does this have anything to do with the scene going on? No? So I can feel free to ignore it? Okay, good. Mike offers to give Lucy's number and address to his friend. He points out that this guy friend also comes from a big family, like the Camdens. I wonder if he's a creepy stalker, too, like Eric and Dopey. In that case, giving out Lucy's address might not be such a grand idea. Lucy reluctantly agrees to talk to Elaina for Mike. Wow, it's like stepping into your time machine and setting it for junior high! RevCam comes back in. Apparently, he's been lurking just outside the room, listening to Lucy's side of the conversation. He says, "You can always tell what someone really thinks of you by who they fix you up with." Huh. That was incredibly stupid, even for RevCam. No wonder Lucy and Ruthie treat him so patronizingly when they toss him out of the room. Ruthie brings over Lucy's yearbook and shows her Elaina's picture. Is that what Lucy was motioning about before? And Ruthie understood her? Weird. Ruthie asks what's wrong with Elaina's face. Lucy replies that it's acne. Does anyone else foresee a PSA in the near future?
Oh, look -- it's some filler, starring Annie and the twins. And then there's some more filler involving RevCam and SuperMom. He's upset because he feels the kids don't need him anymore, and she's still upset over that asinine "Mama" thing. Wait, it gets worse. She turns it all into a political issue by claiming that her return to school has kept her out of the house too much, which makes her a "bad mama." Well, fuck me, even I never thought the show would sink this low. Instead of Eric telling Annie she's full of shit, he looks all worried and hugs her, totally reinforcing her delusional, reactionary views. I hope there aren't any women out there dumb enough to use Annie as a role model. The possibility that even a single person might take this scene seriously makes me completely sad.
John walks into the Pad to find that Priscilla has totally redone it with a Japanese theme. This is reinforced by the vaguely Asian background music. You know, the place actually looks good for a change. I've always wanted to do a room of my apartment like that. The only thing holding me back is that all the decorating elements I'd need are so damn expensive. Hey, wait a second. Then how can Priscilla afford them? She's allegedly staying with John because she can't afford her own apartment. In fact, she and John are going against what John claims are their very strong beliefs that premarital cohabitation is evil. Well, of course, everyone knows that God hates premarital cohabitators. But He must really like Japanese-themed decor, if that's what Priscilla is spending her money on instead of saving to live a life free of premarital sin. Man, every once in a while I'm surprised anew by just how much this show sucks.
we get to see how Ruthie has been training the twins to call her "Mama." She rewards them with cookies. Creepy stalker Simon spies on her. The commercial break arrives none too soon.
Unfortunately, the scene is more of that crap, with Annie and the twins in the kitchen. Annie has her back to the stairs and doesn't see Ruthie come into the room. When the twins starts mumbling, "Mama, Mama!" she gets all excited -- until she turns around and sees that they are reacting to Ruthie. Since Annie's horrifying misplaced guilt makes me want to vomit, I can't even begin to feel sorry for her. RevCam comes down and asks her if the twins are calling her "Mama" yet. She glares at him and walks away. He gets all passive-aggressive and tries to guilt her about not communicating with him. Nice. Happy doesn't want to be around him either, which is no surprise, given that he's an asshole. The twins are in their high chairs, so they can't escape. He gives them cookies, and they start calling him "Mama." That makes me smirk.
At the hospital, Dopey continues the proud Camden tradition of sulkiness by ignoring John. He continues the childish theme by pettily asking, "Did you have fun last night?" Then he bitches about Robbie.
At the high school, Lucy stops to talk to Elaina, who has a fairly mild case of acne. Lucy asks her if she knows Mike. Elaina replies, "I've seen him looking at me, but people tend to do that." Huh? Why? I mean, she's pretty ordinary-looking, really. Lucy presents her with the wonderful opportunity to date the controlling freak known as Mike Pierce. At first Elaina assumes that Lucy and Mike are playing a prank on her, but Lucy assures her they're not. Elaina is thrilled and says, "In my estimation, Mike Pierce is a real human being." And I'll bet one day he'll be a full-fledged member of the Promise Keepers too. Elaina starts listing Mike's charms, including his intelligence and his creativity. She doesn't mention the way he tries to control the women around him, though. Isn't that supposed to be a desirable quality in the 7th Heaven universe? Elaina is also thrilled by the way Mike has remained friends with Lucy after he stopped dating her. First, why is that such a great thing anyway? And second, wouldn't Lucy be at least half responsible for her friendship with Mike? Why does the fact that he's friends with Lucy earn him sainthood? Elaina says that of course she'll go out with Mike. She trots off, thinking of ways to please him, no doubt. Simon must have been creepily eavesdropping again, because he starts quizzing Lucy about Mike dating Elaina. Simon says something about Mike looking past physical appearances to date Elaina, and how this makes Simon respect him all the more. I start to gag uncontrollably, almost missing how Simon tries to make Lucy feel like shit for not dating Mike herself. My favourite line is when Simon says, "You're kidding yourself if you think there's another Mike Pierce on this planet." Simon even tells Lucy to "learn from [her] mistake and move on." My goodness, if only the women on the show could dispense unsolicited advice the way the men do! Of course, it could never be as wise as the men's advice, though. Lucy walks off, and Simon licks his lips, daydreaming about Mike Pierce.
At the hospital, RevCam tries to get Dopey to blow off work to listen to Eric talk about his stupid jealousy of SuperMom. Then he admits that he actually wants to discuss Dopey's jealousy of Robbie. Dopey blows up at him. RevCam says, "I'm starting to feel like Lucy did at thirteen." Matt tempers this sexist theory somewhat by pointing out that Lucy is more self-confident than either Matt or Eric now. Huh. That was unexpected. The doofuses swear each other to secrecy about their jealousy issues.
Rather than doing something even remotely worthwhile with her time, Annie is still hassling the twins, trying to get them to call her "Mama." Ruthie twists the knife by asking if any of the other kids ever called anyone else "Mama." They didn't. Ruthie leaves. Annie yells at the twins for not calling her "Mama." Now, that's parenting at its best. No wonder people speak so highly of this fine show.
Mike accosts Lucy and Simon to tell them how thrilled he is that Elaina will be going out with him. Simon excuses himself and doesn't get to hear Mike talk all about the grooviness that is Elaina. Lucy endures it for a bit, then attacks Mike, literally, to make out with him. Elaina, in the background, watches this in anger, while Simon watches with...well, he doesn't have much of a facial expression here. When Lucy's done massaging Mike's tonsils, she asks if it felt like he was kissing his sister. Is this supposed to be some sort of PSA about incest? Apparently the kiss passes Mike's standards, but he's still going to go out with Elaina. He tells Lucy that the kiss came too late. As usual, it's the woman's fault again.
After the commercial break, Mike arrives at the CamPound to lay some more blame. He assumes that because Elaina stood him up, it must be because of something Lucy said to her. What an arrogant prick. Lucy dignifies his stupid assertions by defending herself against them. Yeah, that's self-confidence, all right. She tells him she still has feelings for him, but he attempts to belittle those feelings by sneering, "It's more like you didn't want something until someone else wanted it." As he's walking out the front door, he says, "Fix this, Luce, or we're not gonna be friends." Man, I've never wanted to see anything on this show more than I want to see Lucy sweetly tell him to fix it himself because she doesn't want to be friends with a manipulative asswipe like him. However, I'm sure they'll have Lucy subjugate her personality some more in the interest of pleasing the male here. Excuse me, I think I have to go smash something.
In the CamKitchen, Matt and Simon are leaving to play pool when Robbie initiates a confrontation about Dopey's hostility problem. He tries to ingratiate himself with Dopey by mentioning that he went out with John because John's having a hard time adjusting to life with Priscilla. That's getting dangerously close to breaching John's confidence, but this show never worries about anyone's privacy anyway. Dopey plans to go talk to John, leaving Simon free to play pool with Robbie. Maybe he wants to pick St. Robbie's brain about those special feelings he's been having for Mike Pierce lately. Anyway, he can't wait to leave with Robbie. This leaves Dopey alone with Annie. Of course, she's going to use this opportunity to talk about her "Mama" problem. See, all the other kids said "Dada" first, but the twins said "Mama" first. Only now they won't say it to her. Is this terribly grave problem making you feeling sorry for her yet? Me neither. I spend the rest of her crappy speech thinking of comical ways the producers could kill off her pathetic character. Dopey laughs at her, though he tries to play it off by saying that he's laughing at the irony of Annie being jealous of Eric while Eric is jealous of Annie. So much for his promise to maintain RevCam's secret. Annie promises not to let RevCam know that Dopey "ratted him out." Dopey knocks Annie's ability to lie and says he doesn't want to be in the house when she confronts RevCam. He could have just told her he was planning on leaving anyway, but then he wouldn't have been able to get in that little dig about her.
At the pool hall, Simon sees Elaina playing pool with an older couple. They're probably her parents, since we all know someone with acne could not possibly have many friends. I'm sure it's not the major chip Elaina has on her shoulder that makes people want to stay 50 miles from her at all times. Simon takes her aside to explain the Lucy and Mike situation. She shows an unbecoming glee when Simon says Lucy is jealous of her, and she agrees to go to the CamPound to talk to Mike and Lucy.
Annie walks into RevCam's office and tells him she has a confession to make. He replies, "I'm afraid you've got the wrong church." Har har, a bit of religious humour. Annie tries to pump up RevCam's ego a bit, but somehow he sees through the fact that Dopey betrayed his confidence. Don't ask me how, because I can't bear to rewind the tape and listen to that conversation again. Annie acts all cutesy, pretending to be embarrassed that she's been found out. RevCam manfully explains that he and Annie are feeling confused right now because Mary is gone and things have "shifted." He predicts that they will feel strange until Mary's all right again. The CamRents start making out on RevCam's desk. Simon walks in on them. He says that Elaina is in the living room and she has a problem. Simon wants Eric to talk to her because he says the problem is "right up his alley." Hmm, it must have something to do with stalking.
Apparently, Ruthie has never seen acne before, so she asks a bunch of dumb questions to prompt Elaina through tonight's PSA on acne. When that's over, Ruthie tries to tell Elaina that Mike really likes her. When Elaina asks how Ruthie knows this, the demon urchin replies, "I know practically everything around here." This gets sort of a disbelieving look from Elaina, which is mildly amusing.
Dopey visits the Sinnin' Premarital Cohabitators' Pad in search of John, but he finds Priscilla instead. He insults and sneers at her decor and tells her how much John must hate it. Aw, isn't it nice that the CamRents brought him up so well? Dopey asks where John sleeps; Priscilla points toward a futon on the floor. It's one of two futons on the floor, so at least the pair don't sleep together. They may still be having sex, but at least they're not sleeping together. What virtuous young role models they are! Dopey keeps calling the furniture "tiny." I'm not sure if this is meant as some sort of racial slur against Asians, but it sure sounds like it to me. Dopey admits his own jealousy and says how happy he is that John must be miserable in the apartment. Ah, that Dopey. He's rude, nasty, unsupportive of his friends, and a bigot to boot! What a prize.
Back at Casa Camden, Elaina is boring the pants off RevCam by bragging about her accomplishments. Well, his pants aren't actually off. It's just an expression, thank God. In a stunning display of illogic, Elaina tries to attribute all her good qualities to the fact that she has acne. I guess the writers wasted too much time with that puerile "Mama" story, and now they don't have time to let RevCam counsel Elaina about the huge chip she wears on her shoulder. Maybe time! In walk Lucy and Mike. RevCam leaves. Lucy apologizes, and Elaina accepts. Dumb-ass Mike wants chicks to be apologizing to him instead, so he tells Elaina he expects an apology from her. She invites him out for ice cream instead, and the two of them start walking out without a word to Lucy, who just stands there, trying to look brave. At least Mike has the decency to turn around and thank Lucy for her help. Poor pathetic Lucy just wants to know if she and Mike are still friends. Mike rewards her with a cretinous smile and says that they are "good friends." Of course, now that he's found out he can totally control her and make her do anything he wants, he must realize it would be pretty handy to have Lucy around. Now, if only he could harness her guilt instinct in a way that will make her perform certain sexual favours on command.
John and Priscilla argue about the Japanese apartment. Then they exchange apologies and a chaste little kiss.
Back at the CamPound, Simon apologizes to Lucy for interfering with Elaina. Mike's worked his magic well on Lucy, though, and she takes the blame for the entire situation, saying that none of it would have happened if she'd taken Simon's advice in the first place and let go of Mike. There's a good little woman. In case you missed the whole "men give good advice" concept, Lucy grinds it in by complimenting Simon's advisory talents.
We hear the twins crying out, "Mama, Mama," somewhere in the background. Annie comes running through the hall in what is probably meant to be a comic fashion. When she reaches the twins' room and sees Ruthie there, she loses it. The director must have told her to convey hysteria by progressively raising the pitch of her voice as she cries out, "Why do my babies keep calling Ruthie 'Mama'?" The results are not exactly comic gold. Simon lets Annie know that Ruthie's been training the twins to call her "Mama." Ruthie runs off; SuperMom follows. Lucy asks Simon why he didn't let Annie know about this sooner; Simon essentially replies that he didn't think it was important. Well, of course it's not important! Ah, never mind. Let's just be glad that storyline is drawing to a close.
Dopey meets up with Robbie at the pool hall. Robbie has demonstrated his saintliness by sitting there alone all night so that Dopey wouldn't show up to find everyone gone. Come on, Robbie -- Matt's dumb, but even he wouldn't have spent more than an hour or two searching for you under salt shakers and behind menus. Robbie and the Dopester share a delightful bonding moment laughing at John and Priscilla's apartment, until John comes in to call them the "loose lips convention." He says he needs to talk to them. Dopey suggests they play pool while they talk. I wish I had a pool hall nearby where you don't have to pay for a table or even rack up the balls yourself, because Dopey doesn't have to do any of that. He just starts playing. By the way, I can't believe I got through this entire episode without making any "pocket pool" references. Oops! Almost.
Annie stands in the middle of Simon's room and calls out, "Come on out, I know you're in here!" She's just about to leave when Ruthie comes out of the closet. Heh. No, no, she literally walks out of Simon's closet, okay? Annie reveals that she's been walking into all the rooms and yelling, "Come on out, I know you're in here!" No time for any more parenting tips like that, though. SuperMom gives an impassioned little speech, wanting to know why Ruthie's been training the twins to call her "Mama." It's chock-full of guilty stupidity. If this plot weren't so insultingly moronic, I'd feel a little sorry for Annie, but instead I laugh when Ruthie says, "I was just goofing on you." Annie is so happy about Ruthie validating her worth as a parent that she laughs giddily for a while before telling Ruthie never to play a trick like that again. Ruthie just averts her gaze and doesn't make any promises. Ah, that little scamp!
Lucy's still moping around the house. She stops into Eric's office to tell him that she apologized to Elaina, who is now out with Mike. RevCam lets Lucy know that it's all right to forgive herself and let the healing begin. Because it is a man giving her this advice, she will follow it. She asks him if she will ever find a boyfriend. He tells her she will, but probably when she least expects it. She says she would like a guy with whom to share all the fun things ahead: "Valentine's, Senior Prom, graduation." I can understand wanting a significant other for two of those events, but why would you need one for graduation? RevCam points out that Lucy already has a full life, with or without a man. He also says that any guy she ends up with will be the "luckiest guy in the world." It's a pretty nice scene, actually, marred only by the knowledge that RevCam has two other daughters. What about their guys? Will Ruthie's guy be in the fiftieth percentile? What about Mary's guy? Would it be unfair to assume that he will be the unluckiest man in the world?
Down at the ice-cream parlour, Mike and Elaina discuss their future children. A case is made for having dozens of them. Well, duh, it's not like birth control exists in the 7th Heaven universe. Mike asks Elaina if she wants a drink. She answers this as if it were a daring question, crying out with reckless abandon, "Why not!" She can try all she wants to charm us with her vivacious acceptance of soft-drink offers, but I still hope she and Mike never show up on this program again, ever. Begone, losers.
Lucy answers the front door at the CamPound to find the hunky soap-opera dude who will be playing her new love interest, Jeremy, a.k.a. the friend Mike wanted to set her up with. He babbles nervously while she just stares vacantly at him. Finally she gets it together enough to ask him in. He tells Lucy she's really pretty. I wonder if he's ever seen David Cross's performance as Slow Donnie on Just Shoot Me. Lucy offers to make some cocoa, and Jeremy has to pretend to be enthralled. RevCam has been creepily spying on them from his office. We all know what a turn-on that is for Stalker Eric. As Lucy and Jeremy walk off, Eric retreats into his office. I guess it's time for him to, you know, take care of a little business of his own, for a change.