This episode begins with RevCam and Annie in the kitchen. Annie declares that Eric is in need of a night off. He confirms this. He wants to "commune with a little male energy." He wants to "walk the walk and talk the talk." Eric asks about StuporMom's plans. She's meeting her professor at 7 PM to get his approval for her paper topic. RevCam is a bit suspicious because it's Friday night, but she assures him it's all decent. This set-up conversation between the CamRents is interspersed with recycled clips of the twins in their high chairs.
Annie's saying that Simon or Lucy can watch the twins and Ruthie that evening, just as the two proposed babysitters come down the stairs. Yes, loyal viewers -- it's another episode beginning with a morning in the Camdens' kitchen, with the twins shackled down and the CamSpawn stomping down to be disrespectful, one by one. Simon informs Annie that he can't baby-sit because he has a possible date with Lulu, a.k.a. Llewellyn Olmeyer, a.k.a. "the hottest babe in the sophomore class," that night. Helpfully nosy Lucy points out that Lulu is one of RevCam's parishioners. RevCam asks when Lulu became "hot." Annie just stands there smirking. I hope that when I'm her age, I don't have to undergo that operation. You know -- the one that removes the part of your brain that keeps you from letting your son act like a dog. Annie asks where Simon's going. "Wherever Lulu will let me take her!" barks Simon. So that's what the kids are calling it...oh, forget it. Annie points out that Simon has no access to a car. Simon says he'll double date with someone. Annie won't let him double date with a boy she doesn't know. Eyebrows rise all around. Lucy offers to watch the little kids, earning a kiss on the head from her dad.
Ruthie walks in for her first attempt at preciousness of the hour. She wants to know why Mary's car's in the driveway -- is it because she "got fired again?" Ruthie's wearing her little private school uniform. It occurs to me that her new school is named after a Roosevelt, just like her old school. I realize that this is to save money on establishing shots. Ruthie is still talking. Simon and Lucy exit.
Mary comes down the stairs in a lilac thermal knit lounge set with a mysterious pink stain on the crotch. "What's up?" she says. RevCam asks if it's her day off. She hedges questions about the curtailing of her pool hall job and explains that she works at Pete's Pizza now. She didn't like working day shifts, she says. She likes the nightlife. She likes to boogie. I wonder how she knows to quote that old disco song. I imagine RevCam dancing around to it with his broomstick and shudder violently. Mary trudges back up to her room with a cup of coffee. Ruthie shakes her head and asks the camera, "Is it me or is she starting to spin?" I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. RevCam and Annie agree with Ruthie and reiterate that they need time off from their seven brats. They kiss audibly as the Lighthearted Acoustic Guitar plays us into the opening theme, which is starting to have a Pavlovian effect on my ulcer at this point in my recapping career.
Mary's on her bed, wiggling along to "Love Shack." She's mouthing words, but they aren't the words to the song. She's doing that Bangles "Walk Like An Egyptian" thing, and then various dances from the sixties. Ruthie appears in the doorway and gawks admiringly. She wishes aloud that she could dance like Mary. They have a sisterly chat. Ruthie begs Mary to do something with her this weekend. Mary promises to bring home a pizza right after her shift's over at midnight. The two of them will have a sleepover in Ruthie's room. Ruthie gets unwarrantedly happy about this plan and hugs Mary. Then her carpool shows up and she runs out the door, leaving Mary smiling at nothing.
comes a scene that's almost funny. See how I admitted that -- that it was almost funny? That's how fair and unbiased I am. You might think, from reading some of the e-mails that have been sent to Mighty Big TV lately, that Cate and I are heartless old harpies who hate everything good. You might think that we want to stop the youth of North America from learning the morals 7th Heaven has to offer. You might even think that we're anti-family. Well, to you who have written in to complain, I say this: Get over it. And quit hinting that our recaps have the power to get the show cancelled. I mean...yes, it does turn me on to imagine using my recaps for such selfish ends. I'll have you know, however, that if my writing did have that sort of effect on television executives, I wouldn't waste it on something as bland as canceling 7th Heaven. No way, buddy. I would instead ridicule that Emile guy from the Food Network and fill up his air time with reruns of Iron Chef. There'd be a whole new television world order. Believe you me.
So, yeah, like I was saying, the scene's almost funny. Eric calls up some guy named Lou and invites him to play pool. "By ourselves?" asks Lou. RevCam suggests that Lou bring some of the guys. "What guys?" asks Lou. "I don't know...some of the church guys," says Rev. "What church guys?" asks Lou. "I don't know...the guys...who come to church," says Eric the sad sack. Meanwhile, Lou's wife is eavesdropping and squinting suspiciously. Lou says that he has plans with her. Eric hangs up, and Lou explains to his wife what Eric wanted. "I'm never quite comfortable with Eric on a social level," Lou explains, and then the scene stops being funny. "I'm always afraid I'm gonna slip up and curse or something," he continues. Lou's wife opines that RevCam is trouble, because he deals with it all the time and it therefore just comes to him. Okay, Mrs. Spacely. Mr. Spacely won't hang out with Reverend Jetson tonight. Calm down.
RevCam's flipping through his Rolodex, unable to hook up with any of his crew. He product-places some Altoids, then calls Matt at work. Matt's paged to the phone while a front-desk droid looks on. Matt is surprised that his dad's asking him to play pool that night. He makes a big production out of it, thinking someone in the family must be in trouble. Then he casts aspersions on StuporMom's plan to meet with her professor. The PA speaker announces that Matt has a call on line six. Matt of course disconnects his own father and takes the other call, which is from Simon. Simon offers Matt twenty dollars to double date and basically chauffeur Simon and Lulu to the movies. Matt is reluctant, asking if there'll be backseat making-out. Simon offers him thirty. There's another call for Matt, this time from Lucy. The chick at the front desk is giving him dirty looks. Matt freaks out in that unfunny way of his, yelling that he's going to lose his job. Lucy asks if he can baby-sit that evening. She has a "date" with her lab partner from her "family class." Check out what Matt says: "Lab partner in a family class? Huh...What's the lab -- sex?" The hell? Was that some weak attempt at a rank on sex education programs? Maybe the right-wing coalition that paid for that line could chip in for some better writers. Lucy says that she and Lab Boy have to pretend that an egg is their baby for their homework. So it's not actually a date, you see. Lucy was just trying to put another notch in her lip gloss case. Matt refuses to baby-sit the twins for her. He hangs up on his sister, and some guy hands him a bedpan. ["Wow. Holy meta-statement on the show, Batman!" -- Sars]
At the high school, Lucy is strolling the halls in a red skirt and a purple twin set that's about eleven sizes too small. Her lab partner walks up and offers to help her baby-sit the twins that night. I never get his name, because they keep calling each other "husband" and "wife" and "dear" and all that. Lab Boy is carrying their egg, which is adorned with a pink bow.
Lucy and Lab Boy pass Simon, who's hanging around Lulu's locker, waiting for her to throw him a bone. "All right," Lulu's saying, "but don't try to make out with me in front of your brother or anything. I'm not gonna spend Friday night making out in a car while some old guy watches us." Well, she's not much fun, is she? Simon busts out the false sensitivity, saying, "I wouldn't dream of it," when you know he's really crushed and trying to think of a way to make out with her while Matt's not in the car. After all, she is a hot babe. What else are hot babes good for, right? Lulu says, "I don't know why I'm doing this...probably because you're so cute." She smiles to soften her shallowness and struts away in her tight red dress. Simon stares at her ass. I stare at her shoulders, wondering if sophomores regularly purchase strapless bras these days or if they just go without or what.
At Pete's Pizza Parlor, Mary's serving three dorks. One of them asks her to sit and "have a piece" with them. Then he and his two friends laugh as if that meant something funny or obscene. Mary densely declines their offer and asks if they need anything else. One of the guys nods his bleached head and orders Mary's phone number, written on her underwear. Oh, ha, ha. How lame. I try to imagine the smackdown I'd give a guy who used that line, but I can only see myself laughing in his face and saying, "Oh, ha, ha. How lame." The three guys are cracking themselves up, though. They guffaw and say, "Aw, come on!" as Mary rolls her eyes and trudges back to her station.
"Havin' fun yet?" asks some guy behind the bar. It's that guy from Bring It On. You know, the cheerleader boy who took pleasurable advantage of his proximity to the cheerleader girls. I feel bad for him. He should get to guest star in a better show than this. ["Word. ('Camdens sure are number one!')" -- Sars] He tells Mary to let his wife handle the hecklers, because she knows how to deal with customers like that. "Frances is your wife?" Mary asks. Coworker Guy warns Mary to refer to her as Frankie, not Frances. Mary rudely states that Frankie "looks so young." Coworker Guy, whose name tag appears to read "Johnny," explains that Frankie is Mary's age, he's twenty-one, and they got married because they had a baby together. "You know, I thought about getting married last year," says Mary, because she's afraid that Johnny might forget that the world revolves around her. She then creates an opportunity for Johnny to say that he wasn't ready for marriage, but that the baby changed all that.
"Hey, Mary!" one of the jerkwad customers yells, "We're saving a piece for ya!" He puts on of his hands under the table in a not-actually-suggestive way, and his friends yell, "Woo!" Johnny gestures to Frankie, who struts over to the troublemakers' table in her short skirt which has one of those almost-to-the-waist side slits. Here it comes. Here comes the smackdown. I'm ready. Let's go. The guys are already quieting down when they see her coming. She leans over the table and says, "Do you know who you're talking to? Minister's daughter. Give her a break. Behave yourself." One of the jerks pipes up, "And if we don't?" Get ready! Get ready for the slam! "Then," says Frankie -- you go, girl! Go, Frankie! -- "you're all going to hell." Huh? There has to be more, right? The three jerks chuckle and say "ooh." But then Frankie finishes them off with, "I mean it." OOH! PUT DOWN! The jerks' faces fall. Oh, no! Not hell! They realize that while you can still get into heaven after sexually harassing regular old hot babes, you really must go straight to hell if you bother a minister's daughter. "Sorry, Mary!" they yell in chorus. Yes, "sorry" is definitely the word we're looking for here.
"What did you tell them?" Mary asks Frankie, who waves the question away. The three youngsters discuss the ups and downs of working at Pete's Pizza. Frankie and Johnny invite Mary to have a beer with them after closing. Mary tells them that she's underage and she'd hate for Johnny to get in trouble for selling her alcohol. Johnny assures her that no one will know and the beer will be free. "C'mon, we'll have a real good time," says Frankie. The three of them smile, and we hear the guitar, violin, and oboe of Peer Pressure Foreshadowing.
At the CamPound, Annie's asking Simon the rating of the movie he's taking Lulu to see. Simon says PG-13. So let me get this straight -- she doesn't mind him referring to a classmate as "a hot babe," but she'd hate for him to see any hot babes in action on the big screen. Is that it? Matt hasn't shown up yet. RevCam walks in and carps about Matt ditching his own dad to double date with Simon. "I'm paying him," says Simple Simon as he exits. RevCam shuts up. Annie asks who he's playing pool with, and he has to tell her that he couldn't find anyone to go with him. "Did you call the new priest from the little Catholic church?" she says. That cracks me up. Not only does she expect him to make friends with the other men of the cloth in town, but the writers also feel the need to point out that it's a "little" Catholic church. RevCam didn't invite him because he didn't feel like being on his best behavior. "You know what I mean -- the guy's new in town and he's a...priest," says Eric. Annie asks about Rabbi Stein and "the good-looking single guy" that took over some other little church. RevCam says he'll shoot some pool alone. (Is that what the kids...?) He wants to relax, not worry about being on his best religious behavior. Annie pities him and offers to go along. He suggests that she meet him at the pool hall after her meeting. She gets all happy, because apparently she can't play pool worth jack and he never wants to play it with her. Maybe they could go to a karaoke bar instead. I guess their town's pretty small, though.
Lucy comes downstairs with the twins dripping off her arms and gigantic rollers in the top of her head. She tells her parents that her lab partner in her family class is coming over to help her baby-sit. RevCam scratches his head and says, "Uh, huh, uh, what's lab in Family Class -- sex?" Yes, you fucking idiot, it's sex. You're paying taxes so that the local public school can teach your daughter to have sex. After that, they'll tutor her in gay sex. Then she'll learn how to perform bestiality. THEN -- hold on to your Republican ticket! -- they'll teach her about EVOLUTION. Shut up, RevCam. Lucy explains that she and lab boy have to pretend they're married for twenty-four hours. Rev asks if Lab Boy's sleeping over. Lucy says it's twenty-four hours total, not consecutive. "But thanks for having faith in me," she adds sarcastically. Lucy, honey, it'd be okay if he were a hot babe and you did it in the back of Matt's car after a PG-13 movie. Your daddy just doesn't want the neighbors to see your bloody sheets on the clothesline. RevCam questions Lucy's ability to watch the twins, Ruthie, the egg, and the date all at once. She reassures him and not-comically runs off to catch the crawling twins. RevCam finds Ruthie ready for bed. She's catching some zees (or zeds) now so she'll be wide-awake for her pizza party with Mary at midnight.
Speaking of, here's Mary at the busy pizza parlor. She still has time to converse with her new friends, though. She's pleasantly surprised by the amount she's making in tips. I wonder how much more she could make by bringing stacks of panties pre-stamped with her phone number, though. Frankie asks her again about staying for a beer after work. Mary can't, she has to bring a pizza home to Ruthie. Frankie says they'll drink while the pizza's cooking. She runs off. Johnny talks about how important that extra hour of R&R time is to Frankie ever since she had the baby. He says that she could use a friend, too, because all her old ones ditched her when she got pregnant. Mary doesn't know about the beer, but she will stick around long enough to get the pizza.
Matt's at his apartment and he's out of milk. He leaves the apartment to get milk. I guess this scene is to indicate that he's made his milk-drinking plans for the evening and he doesn't intend to take Simon anywhere. Either that, or it's just to help round out the hour.
Annie shows up at her professor's office and finds a note on the door. It says, "Mrs. Camden -- Please join me at the Gypsy Café on Broxton. Gene Hatch[something]." She goes to the payphone and gets a busy signal from somewhere.
Simon's at home, leaving a message on Matt's answering machine. RevCam comes downstairs and offers to drive Simon and Lulu to the movie. Simon gets all pissy and refuses. He's wearing a leather blazer, which I find amusing. He calls Matt and gets the answering machine again.
Mary steps outside the pizza parlor to tell Frankie that some regular customers are asking for her. Mary and Frankie are both wearing the Pete's Pizza uniform top, but Frankie has customized hers by cutting off the stomach-covering half of it. She's a bad girl, you see. She has no minister to staple her clothes. She says she'll just finish up her cigarette. She offers Mary a drag. At least she's polite. She says she started smoking when she was twelve, then quit while pregnant, then resumed the habit after "popping out" her baby Mercy. Frankie's mom is "good with babies -- it's teenagers she can't handle." Frankie hands Mary her cigarette and gets back to work. Mary stares at the cigarette, sorely tempted by smoky Lucifer. Then she chucks it as the melancholy guitar looks on.
Annie makes it to Gypsy Café, where her professor orders a bottle of wine. He takes her huge stack of books, putting them aside. Annie nervously tells him that she might need to refer to her notes. "No problem," says Professor Smooth. "Outside of Italy, this is the best place to get lasagna." In Glenoak? No shit? Annie says she already ate, but he already ordered. He asks how many kids she has. When she tells him seven, I wait for his eyeballs to pop out and roll onto the floor, because that's what happens sometimes when I tell people I have three kids. Instead he asks, "You plan to stop there?" Annie says, "Maybe. Wanna give me a Pap smear, since you're so interested in my womb?" No, she says, "Well, our dining-room table seats twelve, so who knows?" which was almost as good. The professor cracks up and says, "What a woman." I'm waiting for him to ask, "And do your loins provide many strong boys to honor your husband?" but the scene ends instead.
RevCam enjoys fried food and beer at the pool hall. Behind him, four pool-playing women bleat, "Reverend Cammdennn!" Watch out, Eric! It's the sultry siren song of sin! He turns and smiles in a politely confused way. "Don't you recognize us outside of church?" asks one of the women, dressed in a satiny shirt. Two of the others are wearing sleeveless tops that would also require some sort of specialty undergarment. RevCam eventually comes up with their names and greets them. They ask him to join their game, since the oldest, least scantily clad woman has to leave. He accepts the offer and shows off his stoopid fresh pool skillz. The bartender can't stop raising his eyebrows.
Matt's walking back from the store, swigging milk out of its container. He sees some chick dancing through the window of some establishment. At first I thought she was Lulu, because she also had long blonde hair and a tight red dress. But I guess it's another hot babe instead. She sways up to the window and beckons, just like you'd expect a moral-less temptress from the fiery depths of hell to do.
Ruthie sulks as Simon calls Matt's answering machine some more and the twins play with an open bag of flour on the floor. Lucy, still in rollers, shows up with her play husband and they haul the twins off to have a bath. Ruthie holds the family-sex-lab egg and tries to grin wickedly.
Annie pigs out on lasagna, saying, "It's just so good to eat someone else's cooking." "Well, I'd love to try yours," says her professor. "My...?" she says stupidly. "Cooking," he reiterates. Oh, okay. Annie thought he was referring to cunnilingus or something. She says he'll have to come over for dinner sometime. He can't, because he doesn't like children. But he teaches Early Childhood Education, Annie points out. I stop caring. Just know that their banter isn't witty, but Annie laughs often. I guess this is 7th Heaven's excuse for flirting. Annie realizes she should have been at the pool hall an hour ago. She uses the prof's cell phone to call Eric there.
Eric's having too much fun playing pool with his bevy of beauties to notice the time. The bartender calls him to the phone. Annie apologizes to him. Eric waves it off and hurries back to his new friends. Annie smiles at her professor -- who is about thirty-seven years younger than she is, by the way -- and shrugs. "Guess you and me will be getting it on tonight, then," I take the shrug to mean.
Simon sulks some more. Lucy's lab partner walks in and they chat. Simon says Lulu told him to call her back when he got his license. Oh, how tragic. "Are you sure Matt committed to taking you?" Lab Boy asks. Because that's how boys his age talk, you know. Simon wonders what could be important enough to make Matt dis his own little brother.
That question is answered with a dark, fuzzy scene of Matt dancing with the girl he just met. There was crappy music, too.
Lucy and her new boyfriend put the twins in their cribs as Annie calls. Apparently, there is a phone in the nursery. They discuss every single detail of the Camden family's day while Annie's professor waits. Lucy hangs up on Annie when she realizes that her egg's missing. She and Lab Boy unfunnily run around the house. Then they go into Ruthie's room, which sports a bitchin' Hello Kitty pillow. Ruthie pretends to be asleep, then scares Lucy and reveals that she has the egg with her under the covers. There's a long, unfunny conversation between the three children. Ruthie makes some supposed-to-be-sage comment about why teenagers shouldn't be parents. I think they wanted this theme to be a shout-out to me as part of the ongoing series of Put-Down Shout-Outs To Gwen Month on 7th Heaven. Yes, last week's episode did make me cry just a little. It's true that I didn't graduate from college and will probably have to become a waitress and take up smoking soon. But I'll have Aaron Spelling know that I was twenty when I gave birth to my first kid, and the word twenty doesn't have "teen" in it. So there. Plus, I stayed home with my kids instead of getting my mom to watch them. And my husband takes me to the pool hall ALL the TIME. So you can quit with the Gwen-bashing now, you bastards.
Annie shows up at the pool hall and finds her husband sitting at a tiny table with more food, as if he didn't just almost have a hot five-way with the skanky pool bunnies. Eric and Annie admit that they're each a tiny bit jealous of the other, and that it's nice to get the mack action from people stupid enough to find them attractive. In fact, Annie actually says, "I was maybe flirting a little, too, in an I'm-a-wife, mother-of-seven-children-but-it-still-boosts-my-ego-when-another-man-finds-me-attractive sort of way." I'm not even going to make fun of that, because I know where she's coming from. Maybe if I lose some weight, put on some iridescent eye shadow, get two degrees, and have four more kids, guys will want to buy me lasagna. Hell, who am I kidding? I'd be happy if I could get single straight guys to look me in the eye while being introduced to me at parties.
Annie tells Eric she's anxious to get to bed. It takes him a while to realize that she's coming on to him. That's nice, I suppose, but I hope it takes place completely off screen.
Matt's still dancing with the girl in red. Looking into her eyes makes him remember that he was supposed to drive Simon to the movies. He pulls a Cinderella, telling her to call him, and runs out the door. She chases him, saying, "Matt! I don't have your number." "You don't have my number? How could I not give you my number?" he asks, and then starts kissing her audibly. Damn, that's smooth. Right then, his parents emerge from the pool hall, which happens to be right door. He sees them, makes his goofy face, and then writes his number on the napkin Mystery Girl is holding. She takes off right before the CamRents accost Matt. He tells them he'll go to the CamPound posthaste to apologize to Simon. They ask him to check up on the kids. He asks where they'll be, then thinks the better of it and drives away. The CamRents decide to get a room. Annie moans and they smoosh their foreheads together. Gack.
Frankie goes to throw Ruthie's pizza in the oven. Johnny asks what kind of beer Mary wants. "Um. I don't know. Something light," she says as the wary music starts again. Okay, how silly is this? All she has to say is, "No, dude, for real. I don't want one, but thanks." Cate and I were talking a while back about the myth of peer pressure that gets perpetuated by 7th Heaven and Nancy Reagan. Have you ever in your life been to a social gathering where people tried to force you to drink or do drugs? I haven't. I can't even imagine it. Someone offers me a joint. I say, "No, thanks." It gets passed on to someone who wants it. No one has ever said to me, "C'mon. Just one toke. Just try it. You'll like it. C'mon, Gwen. Just one drink. What are you, a sissy? Are you chicken? C'mon. I spent a lot of money on these drugs and this liquor, and you're not leaving my house until you partake of it under threat of physical violence, damn it!" All you have to say is "No, thanks," and that's enough. If it's not, it's because you're trapped in an episode of 7th Heaven and if that's the case, I can't help you. Call your agent.
Simon's sullenly parked in front of the TV when Matt barges into the living room and starts apologizing. Simon's angry because Lulu will probably never speak to him again. He says that Matt's woman was obviously more important than Simon's woman. "But not important than you, man!" grates Matt, doing the head-shaking thing he always does when he's trying to be funny. They hug and Matt promises to drive Simon somewhere week for free. Can't wait. Dopey then finds Lucy's egg, which is now wearing a red ribbon, and starts tossing it in the air and catching it. He asks if the egg's father is the guy Lucy's kissing on the porch. Damn, Lucy works fast. She of course walks in at that moment, distracts Matt, and causes him to drop the egg on the floor. It breaks. I don't care. At least Lucy took out her rollers, though.
Mary and her new friends drink their beers. The teen parents hammer home the point about what a drag it is to have a baby at their age. They really are boring. No wonder they have no friends. Mary gets up to leave and has a dizzy spell. "Don't tell me you're that lightweight," says Johnny. Who says that these days? He might as well have just called her a she-devil. Mary says she's just tired and hits the road. Johnny wonders if she's okay to drive. Frankie says, "I think she's had one beer, and we've had more than one. So you're not driving her home. But nice try." I'm guessing this foreshadows the attempt Johnny will make to get into Mary's pants later this season.
Matt checks on Ruthie, who's dozing in her bed. She wakes and tells him about her plans with Mary. She's still confident that Mary will show up on time.
Annie and Eric kiss on a hotel bed, in hotel bathrobes. RevCam has a yellow towel thrown around his neck. They break for air and Annie says, "Being married to you is really an adventure. A wonderful adventure." She needs to quit getting after-play dialogue tips from Ladies' Home Journal. RevCam thanks her. She catches him up to speed on all their kids' goings-on. They remark on Mary's "spinning." I still don't get it. They kiss more. They say, "Mm. Mmm." I say "Retch. Quit."
Mary's being pulled over by a cop who isn't Sgt. Michaels. This cop recognizes the name Camden on her license, though. "Do you go to our church?" she asks him, thinking she's home free. "Sometimes," he says. It would have been cool if he'd said, "I usually go to the little Catholic church, though. You know -- the one whose priest your dad is too snotty to hang with." He tells her she didn't make a complete stop at the sign. She explains that she's in a hurry because Ruthie's waiting for pizza. Dude, he said he went to your church sometimes, not that he knew the names of your siblings and gave a damn about them. Then the cop gratuitously asks if she's playing ball this year so that she can babble about her non-plans to go to college. He of course gives her the sad look of disgust. Maybe he'll arrest her for being a failure now. No such luck, though. He lets her off with a warning and some hokey advice: "Don't ever get in so much of a hurry that, uh, you're not careful. I want you to be able to eat pizza with your sister for the rest of your life." "Yeah, I do, too," says Mary. I was hoping she'd bitch him out like she did the billing clerk at the insurance company. Instead she just drives away, leaving the cop looking all quizzical at the thought of a Camden not going to college.
Mary sneaks into the CamKitchen like a mouth-breathing ninja. She pauses to apply some breath spray, then resumes sneaking her pizza box into Ruthie's room. Oh, but the CamRents have been sitting there watching her the whole time. Mary claims she had to work late. "And so you must be punished," says Annie, all scary-like. Mary starts freaking out. "And the penalty is two slices of pizza," says Annie. It's supposed to be funny, I think, but I can't be sure because there's no guitar to back it up. Mary gives them the pizza and runs upstairs. They complain that it's cold and remark on her lying. Then Annie says the (unintentionally) funniest line of the whole show: "I don't know, but we're gonna have to keep watching her as she continues down her self-constructed treacherous road." HA! I need to write that on an index card so I can recite it perfectly the time I'm gossiping about someone. Guess what RevCam says after that. Give up? He goes, "Fasten your seatbelt. It's gonna be a bumpy ride." Sad piano takes us into Ruthie's room.
Ruthie's wakes up groggy and annoyed. Mary says they'll do pizza another time, wishes her a good night, and tells her she loves her. "If you loved me, you'd have been home at midnight," sulks Ruthie. Mary's face falls and she leaves. I was staying with Cate and her boyfriend Peeter in Toronto when this episode aired. When the show reached this point, Peeter said, "At least she could leave a slice on her pillow." We all laughed uproariously and then Peeter pressured me to have a beer and a can of spray paint. I didn't want to, but I knew that if I didn't, Cate and Peeter would seal the windows on their car so I couldn't shout greetings to the Torontonians walking down the street. So I drank the beer, huffed the paint, and fired up another maple-leaf doobie. I like to be cool like all the popular kids when I go to Canada, you know. So that's how the show ended. I guess some people never learn.
week on 7th Heaven: Frankie and Johnny offer Mary marijuana. RevCam screams at Mary, but not enough for my taste. A hard rain's gonna fall, y'all.
Mary sneaks into the CamKitchen like a mouth-breathing ninja. She pauses to apply some breath spray, then resumes sneaking her pizza box into Ruthie's room. Oh, but the CamRents have been sitting there watching her the whole time. Mary claims she had to work late. "And so you must be punished," says Annie, all scary-like. Mary starts freaking out. "And the penalty is two slices of pizza," says Annie. It's supposed to be funny, I think, but I can't be sure because there's no guitar to back it up. Mary gives them the pizza and runs upstairs. They complain that it's cold and remark on her lying. Then Annie says the (unintentionally) funniest line of the whole show: "I don't know, but we're gonna have to keep watching her as she continues down her self-constructed treacherous road." HA! I need to write that on an index card so I can recite it perfectly the time I'm gossiping about someone. Guess what RevCam says after that. Give up? He goes, "Fasten your seatbelt. It's gonna be a bumpy ride." Sad piano takes us into Ruthie's room.
Ruthie's wakes up groggy and annoyed. Mary says they'll do pizza another time, wishes her a good night, and tells her she loves her. "If you loved me, you'd have been home at midnight," sulks Ruthie. Mary's face falls and she leaves. I was staying with Cate and her boyfriend Peeter in Toronto when this episode aired. When the show reached this point, Peeter said, "At least she could leave a slice on her pillow." We all laughed uproariously and then Peeter pressured me to have a beer and a can of spray paint. I didn't want to, but I knew that if I didn't, Cate and Peeter would seal the windows on their car so I couldn't shout greetings to the Torontonians walking down the street. So I drank the beer, huffed the paint, and fired up another maple-leaf doobie. I like to be cool like all the popular kids when I go to Canada, you know. So that's how the show ended. I guess some people never learn.
week on 7th Heaven: Frankie and Johnny offer Mary marijuana. RevCam screams at Mary, but not enough for my taste. A hard rain's gonna fall, y'all.