Jenny, Lee-Ann, and Mary (and I only know this because Mary begins a sentence, "Jenny, Lee-Ann, and I were in the hot tub...") are in the hot tub, Lee-Ann dancing around like the dumb, painted harlot she is, and Mary confessionalizing the K-story of this episode (on a scale from A to J), "They were asking me to do a translation so that could say it to Bob." Mary wants to know what they would say in English that she could translate for him, and Lee-Ann suggests, "You are so hot, Bobby." In dead seriousness, Jenny points an "I'm With Stupid" finger at Lee-Ann and implores, "Tell her. I wouldn't say that." Lee-Ann pulls out a conveniently-located Drunk to Spanish, Spanish to Drunk dictionary as Mary takes them through the process: "Tu eras mui caliente." Pause. "Bobby." Is that even a sentence? You have much hot, Bobby. Lee-Ann stands up as much as her toxed-up motor control will allow and begins screaming over and over again what must sound to Mary in Spanish as, "Super monkey karate death car, Bobby." Seriously, she's not even close. She's not even trying. And this concludes the pesky language distro. Man, is Bachelor University getting harder this year, or what?
Krazy-Eyes Brooke takes us through the rest of the evening: "After the trolley cart, we went to the Mark Hopkins Hotel, we walked into this suite, and it was absolutely amazing." The five of them sit around and have this conversation. Meredith: "What if Chris comes in?" Other girl: "I think he's going to." Other girl: "Me too." Other girl: "Me too." Other girl: "So do I." Other girl: "Uh-hmmm." Bob: "Anyone want to know the difference between men and women in regards to utilizing the television remote control?" Okay, he doesn't really say that. But I'm just saying, these crazy bitches are always complaining that the reason they didn't end up with their soulmate (besides the obvious fact that, y'know, I guess they weren't really his soulmate after all) is because they didn't have enough time with him, didn't get to talk to him, didn't get to get him to know them. But now, here on a Power Play group date (featuring one girl in the penalty box...OF THE HOSPITAL), four women sit around with a staggeringly silent Bob, and all they can think to do is play a rousing game of Where in the World is Chris Harrison? He's in Oslo! With the rest of the textiles! V.I.L.E. Henchmen, all of them. The good news, at least, is that I now have a warrant to arrest Ihor Ihorovich. And after I let that slippery Nick Brunch get away last recap, if I can't complete the pass on Ihorovich, I am so fucked with Interpol I can't even tell you.
Bob steals Meredith away, and we cut to them lying on a bed, Bob asking her what she wants to do with her life. "Culinary school," answers this makeup artist, and I swallow any number of "best way to Bob's heart is through his now-stapled stomach" jokes like a box of free Rice-a-Roni, but it's only because he's asking for it because he was fat and now he's skinny and he wanted us to know. Bob talks to Meredith about the fact that he's glad he's talking to her, and she rests a kitschy clog on his leg before leaning in and getting the good, good Guiney Love she knew was coming. The night ends with Guiney Love speaking for all of America with a guiding principle for life that works either in context or out: "I was really glad Chris Harrison did not show up tonight."