Previously on The Real World: They decided their vacation would be to India; Wonder Bread meets Ruthie's twin sister Sara and decides he loves her; Ruthie breaks a glass; Teck yells at her; Wonder Bread gives Ruthie the choice of rehab or leaving the house; Ruthie says it's not a choice and leaves with her sisters. So, this week is going to be a confusing mishmash of storylines, designed to fill space until they can rev up the India trip.
WB informs us that Ruthie still hasn't made a clear decision. This confuses me. Her choices were go into a clinic or leave the house. She's not in the house anymore. Isn't that clear? Anyway, WB says she has a big problem and needs to "right her ship" and needs their support. Justin reveals that he is the only one in the house with any perspective on the situation when he says that WB has figured out that his THING is to be supportive and sensitive. That's what gets him attention. So he's going to run with it.
Tetanus Girl says that if Ruthie wants her to care, she would return her pages. Although that sounds a bit mercenary, I can see what Tet Girl means. You can only give so much. Teck says he doesn't know if Ruthie is coming back to the house. Tet Girl says that she hopes Ruthie goes to rehab so that she can come back to the house. Did I mention that most of this episode is filler? Have we heard anything yet that we don't already know from episodes?
The phone rings and Justin answers. He asks who knows the most about what's wrong with tonight and can explain it to Calvin. WB volunteers. He tells Calvin that they gave Ruthie an ultimatum -- a term he refused to use last week. Also, due to their house issues, they have not booked anything for Local Motion, or done any promotion. They decide to have a meeting tonight since there will be no performer. During this exchange, they show WB in the scariest confessional since Tet Girl's bindi/boa combo. He's WAAAAY too close to the camera and it looks like he cut his own hair, and the seventy-five-year-old man must be taking over because he has all these wrinkles. It is so scary that I completely miss what he says.
After the phone call, WB tells Colin, Annoying and Justin about the meeting, and that they have to "right their ship." What is with him and righting ships? Why is everyone's ship tipping over? Where did that expression come from? Anyway, Justin rolls his eyes and leaves, probably because he is plotting how he can get the hell away from these idiots. They all discuss how they couldn't work due to personal issues. I'm thinking, good luck in the REAL real world, kiddies. Try calling your boss up and saying, "I'm sorry. I was really sad and depressed because one of my friends of three months has a problem. So I didn't do my work," and see what happens. Colin helpfully explains that personal issues obviously take precedence over work and I'm thinking, "Not if you enjoy being gainfully employed," but what is Calvin going to do, fire them? He loves the publicity.
Ruthie goes to see Calvin and tells him that whether she leaves the house or goes into rehab, she won't be working there for a while. Calvin says he is worried about her and asks her to do the right thing, and hugs her. I'm glad someone on this show is an adult.
At the meeting, Calvin tries to teach them all about a little thing called a work ethic. Annoying whines about how it's been a hard few days. I'm thinking, be that as it may, between the six of them they couldn't come up with something? Anything? [And how is it that MTV keeps assembling these casts that are so fucking shiftless? I admit I haven't watched many seasons of the show, but the Boston cast were completely irresponsible social workers who blew off their job all the time and, in one case, dated a child client's mom (SYRUS), and the Seattle cast were completely irresponsible "modulators" (whatever the hell a modulator might be) who blew off their jobs all the time and in one case got an extra job throwing fish (huh?) and then blew off both jobs in the same weekend (DAVID). I'm just saying. -- Wing Chun] Calvin tells them they have an obligation to Local Motion and proceeds to give them a ton of ideas for things to do. Teck says they need to get busy, and goes on what is apparently the only radio station in Hawaii to promote a talent search. Then he does a freestyle rap which isn't THAT bad, except he should've stopped a little earlier. I'm concerned by the fact that I don't hate Teck as much as I used to.
WB has on the infamous green shirt. He leaves a message for Ruthie saying that he would love to go to dinner with her. I would love to have the opportunity to ask WB a lot of things, but one would definitely be why he feels he can solve all the world's problems by eating meals. Anyway, he says he called the clinic to see if Ruthie has been admitted but it's anonymous and they won't tell him. I'm thinking: Dude. Get a grip. Put some distance between you and Ruthie. Get on with your life, such as it is. Let it go. Then he says, "Knowing that a monumental decision has been laid at her doorstep and not knowing where she is or what she's decided is gut-wrenching." That translates to: "I no longer have control over the situation, and can't milk it for camera time much longer, and that kills me."
WB goes to dinner with Ruthie and Sara. Somewhere along the line, the third sister (i.e. the one with a backbone and a brain) dropped out of the picture. They're all acting like she doesn't even exist. WB says he admires Sara for staying strong through this ordeal. I'm not sure what he means by "staying strong," unless he means "staying silent." I don't think she said two words, and when she did she basically enabled Ruthie to continue drinking. Maybe that's why WB likes her. They're both enablers.
Anyway, they eat dinner. WB asks Ruthie if she is coming back and she doesn't really answer. Sara says in an interview that she wants to be close to WB (ew!), but that, due to all that's happened, there is a wall between them. When Ruthie leaves the table, WB tries to get Sara to rat her sister out, but she refuses. I think I liked her better when she didn't talk, because her voice is really annoying.
Justin and Tet Girl are gossiping about how WB thinks he knows all. Basically they reiterate everything I and many others have said about the last two episodes: Matt is a control freak, he's doing this for attention, and he's acting like it's all about him. Justin points out that there's a quiet race between WB and Teck for who can be the cowboy. He says at least Teck is upfront about how he wants to be John Wayne, and yet it's WB who sweeps in and gets the girl. I like Justin. He tells it like it is.
WB is driving Sara home and he says he's going to write the greatest book of all time. The storyline: "The guy tries to help both of the falling sisters, guy crumbles, third sister comes in, helps guy, helps both the sisters, guy pursues until the stable sister, with all her stuff together, falls for him." I hope he understands that this book will be shelved in the fiction section, because that is not at all what happened. How did the older sister fall? She was the only strong one last week. How did Sara help both her sisters? I hope they have a nice life together in their fantasy world. Anyway, he drops her off in the parking garage and they hug good-bye.
Colin has his passport photo taken and makes a goofy face; this is how they let us know the cast mates are preparing to leave for India. A guy comes and gives them a slide presentation about India, but the only part that any of them remember is that fifty per cent of all travelers in India get traveler's diarrhea. Teck asks what desserts he can eat and basically acts like an ass. Remember what I said before about liking Teck? Forget it. It's over. Colin says he doesn't want any diseases. Really? What a shocker. Anyway, they all get their shots. Wonder Bread points out that their trip would be better if Ruthie were going.
And FINALLY someone notices that poor Kaia has lockjaw and gives the girl a tetanus shot. That one scene just made my whole season. We'll have to see if this unlocks her jaw, in which case I'll have to come up with a new name for Tetanus Girl.
WB is wearing the green shirt again, and is talking on the phone with Sara. She says that Ruthie said WB likes Sara a lot. He says he does. In a voice-over, he says that his heart races when he thinks about her. He asks if she'll ever come back to Hawaii and she says yes, and he pops a tiny boner. I liked Sara better when she didn't talk. Her voice is really annoying and every other word she says is "like."
Tet Girl and Teck audition people for the talent show. They show a confessional that they used extensively earlier in the season, featuring Tet Girl in a yellow halter top; now I want to go back, knowing that this confessional must have been shot after Ruthie left, since she refers to the talent show. Anyway, there is a montage of shots showing them planning the talent/fashion show. WB says that Teck is doing all the work. Annoying and Teck have an argument about chair placement. Annoying talks about how she's worried that everything is messed up, but instead of doing anything about it, she decides to put on some more makeup.
The fashion show at Local Motion begins. Of course, the cast members are the models. Annoying is the announcer. Tet Girl swivels down the runway while Justin follows her looking like he wants to be anywhere but there. Colin and Teck both act goofy. They let Teck wear a wetsuit, and I'm thinking they would've had a lot more sales if Colin had been the model. Girl, you know it's true.
The talent(less) portion is . There are rappers, singers, dancers and more rappers. Does everyone in Hawaii think that he or she is a rapper? There sure are a lot of them. Teck says the show is a big success with a big turnout. The winner of the talent show is a little Michael Jackson impersonator. How sad. At the meeting afterwards, WB actually recognizes that there are people other than him in the world, and thanks Teck for all his hard work. They all say goodbye to Calvin since they won't see him again before they leave for India.
Annoying has decided that she is not going to eat while she is in India, presumably so that she won't get sick. Instead, she is going to bring a ton of food and eat that. Way to sample the local culture. I mean, is a little case of the runs going to kill you? I would think that, if you're careful about what you eat and don't drink the water, you'll be fine. So, she, Colin and WB go to Costco to load up on staples like granola bars and Cheez-Its. They mention Cheez-Its so many times that I think they must be a sponsor this week. Annoying buys gum [the fuck? -- Wing Chun] to give to the children of India and WB shows his sensitive, supportive nature by making fun of her and suggesting she get something a little more nutritious. Instead of telling him to get bent, Annoying says, "Trident is nutritious!" Then she says that she thinks she has enough food and Colin says, "I don't. I think you're underestimating how much I eat." I'm not sure when it became Annoying's job to pick out Colin's snacks. Remember last week when she sort of had a spine? I wish we could go back to that, and soon.
They all pack for the trip and Teck has cornrows and kind of looks like a blond Snoop Doggy Dog. Bow wow wow, yippee yo yippee yay. Annoying reiterates how she wants to see the Taj Mahal and I think that's all she knows about India: you get the shits, and see the Taj Mahal. Annoying is the first one out the door and waiting to leave. WB gets a phone call from Sara, who tells him that she has a message from Ruthie: Ruthie feels that WB betrayed her both before and after the intervention. Really, at this point, WB should have told her to piss off. I mean, I hate Matt. I really do. But Ruthie knows that he is the only one left in the house that she can manipulate in this way, and she must know that they were leaving for their trip that day, so she gets her message delivered five minutes before WB walks out the door. Also, as much as I think that WB handled things poorly and tried to make it all about him, I believe that HE really thinks he was trying to help. Anyway, he continues his enabling ways by saying that he understands how Ruthie feels but he has to let Tet Girl use the phone. Annoying asks him what's wrong but he says he doesn't want to talk.
Outside, waiting for the van, Annoying and Tet Girl talk and Tet Girl reveals that Ruthie is in the clinic getting treatment. Shouldn't she share that with the rest of the house? Why is it a big secret? Won't they be able to enjoy their trip more knowing that Ruthie is getting treatment? Whatever.
At the airport, WB calls Sara again and says that he's sorry she's in the middle. I'm thinking she should tell Ruthie to deliver her own damn messages. Anyway, WB says he understands where Ruthie is coming from but that he did not betray her.
Colin is pushing Annoying on a luggage cart and she looks like she thinks she's Cleopatra. I would tell her to get her ass down and walk. Teck has one pant leg rolled up in a "peace leg." He starts to push Annoying faster and faster and she screams, "No! Teck, stop!" when she wasn't going that fast and could've just jumped off. Colin gets on the cart and Teck almost crashes him into a gift shop. Annoying says, "You guys are so stupid! How old are you?" and while she is right, she says it in such a whiny, annoying way that I want to slap her. Then she tells us that she has a feeling something is going to go wrong on this trip. On that note, they get on the place for their flight to India.
week: Colin and Annoying get closer together on the trip. WB wears a ridiculous turban. Justin tells Colin and Annoying what's what. Over the credits, they showed a promo for Real World/Road Rules casting.