Matt and David are having a private (well, except for the cameras) conversation on a bus. Matt tells David that if he moved into a house, and the other roommates were "one half-white/half-Puerto Rican kid and five black kids," he'd be "all for diversity" but "people find comfort in their own," and he imagines that he wouldn't be comfortable in that situation. Oh, for God's sake. Why does Matt have to indulge in this little theoretical dissertation, when he could just say, "David, if I were in your place, being the only black guy in the house, I would feel really uncomfortable." Instead, he has to annoy us with this scenario. In an interview, Matt blinds us with his math skillz when he says that he sees "clear divisions between six and one" and that bothers him, so he "decided to withdraw from six and bring the one back in" so "[they] have seven." Six plus one equals seven. And people say that the schools in rural Georgia aren't teaching the basics. Plus, New Orleans Matt is starting to resemble Hawaii Matt a little too much with his desire to be the peacemaker in the group. But at least he's doing something, I guess. My boyfriend looks up from his magazine at this point and says, "Who's that guy?" I reply, "Matt." He says, "He looks like what I imagine Loki [the Norse God of Mischief] would look like." I say, "Even with the fur coat?" He says, "Yeah, especially with the hoop earrings and the spiked hair. Well, maybe not the coat, because even Loki knows that fur is murder." Then he giggles for like ten minutes over his remark. I reply, "Twenty-three skiddoo!" and continue recapping. Matt tells David that he recognizes David's unique situation, and that it's "not the same as everyone else's." Yes, that would be the definition of unique. The camera pulls back to reveal Kelley and Danny sitting right behind them, so I guess the conversation wasn't as private as I thought. Also, Matt, the self-proclaimed fashion plate, is wearing ugly-ass white crew socks pulled up nearly to his knees. David mumbles that Matt "hit the nail right on the head."
There is a confusing montage of shots that last a nanosecond each, and I'm sure somewhere in America, a seizure is induced. The roommates are on a safari, and they are all taking pictures of the animals. You know, in my experience, that kind of ruins the experience because you're so focused on getting pictures that you don't take time to enjoy the trip. And then you get home and all of your pictures suck anyway. In an interview, Matt says that safaris in South Africa are not like what you see on National Geographic, and that you have to go look for the animals. Well, thank you, Captain Obvious. The guide points out some hippos in the river, and informs us that they can't swim, so they walk along the bottom of the riverbed. In an interview, Matt says, "I am the Crocodile Hunter." Well, except for the part where Steve Irwin would be out of the jeep, and right up close to the animals while yelling things like "Crikey!" and "She's fat as mud!" while Matt is just sitting there doing a lame voice imitation. The guide points out an elephant with five legs, and Julie is about to take some pictures to show the folks back home, when everyone else realizes that it's just the elephant's penis. The guide informs us that the penis is five feet long. Damn. And the African word for it is matonda. Julie files that one away for her wedding night.
Matt and David are having another tête-à-tête. Matt tells David that "someone" said that David doesn't talk, but he "just walks around like..." and Matt makes a gesture. David walks around like he's having a seizure? That's what I got out of it, anyway. Matt explains that he understands that David has "beats in his head" and he's "laying down lyrics in his own world," so they should all just "let him be there." I would argue that instead of "beats in his head," David needs to be beat in the head. In an interview, Matt says that he and David are "both independent," and both have felt like "the seventh person, the one left out." David says that he now has to trust people, and it's hard for him. It's easy to go into his little world, and he's content there, but he can't do that in this situation. In an interview, David says that he's got to be able to converse with, understand, and trust six other people. David tells Matt that he needs to be out there, but it's hard for him, and he "needs somebody's support." Matt says that he will be David's "biggest cheerleader." Wow, that conjured up a scary mental image, didn't it?
Melissa and Danny are lying in their beds, talking. It was hard to tell who it was at first, because they have gigantic mosquito nets surrounding each bed. I bet the producers were pissed about that. Danny says that they went to look at the animals today, and David skipped it to go exercise. In an interview, Melissa says that David is "a poor example of what black men should be in America." I don't really know why David needs to be any kind of example, and I really hope that people aren't looking to the people on Real World for role models, because they tend to be incredibly self-involved, immature people. Instead, they should look to real role models, like MBTV recappers! Okay, maybe not them either. Melissa tells Danny that there are several things about each of them that are obvious, and you "don't have to look deep to find," but with David it's disappointing. Danny says that you want people to break the stereotypes. I have no idea what they are talking about here. My best guess would be they mean that David fits into a stereotype, as do they all, and they were hoping that there was more to him than that, but there's not. Which is a pretty mean thing to say, really. And maybe if they have so many problems with David's behavior, they should talk to him about it (like -- I hate to say it -- Matt), instead of bitching about him after lights-out. Melissa says that she feels guilty because they are the only two minorities in the group (Really? You'd think she would have mentioned that before. Oh, that's right. She has. About a MILLION times.) and they should be able to communicate. Danny has nothing to add to that, except, "He's insane."
The day, they are all on the bus going somewhere. Chris (the tour guide) asks who is jumping, and Jamie and Matt raise their hands. In an interview, David expounds that they are going bungee jumping. Oh, for sobbing out loud. If I wanted to recap Road Rules, I would have Stee killed, and do it. Oops, did I say that out loud? I mean, Stee would probably be gracious enough to trade with me or something. Anyway, the point is that I don't want to recap Road Rules, because I did Challenge 2000 and there's only so many times you can write, "So then they all jump off a cliff" and make it semi-interesting. Chris asks Melissa if she's going to jump, and she declines. Jamie reminds her of the feeling she got when she was abseiling, and Melissa says that it was different because she had control over it, plus she was mad. Jamie adds lamely that it's "pretty safe," which he then changes to "very safe." Melissa says she's heard about that.
We see a sign saying, "Welcome to Victoria Falls." But weren't they at Victoria Falls last week? Did they come back, or is this all the same day? Hello? Some random guy bungee jumps. In an interview, David says that he's already having doubts, and then "homeboy jumps willingly," and he thinks the whole South African trip is a "big thing of firsts." Kelley tells David that if he is going to get back on the bus and wish he'd done it, he should just do it now. David tells himself, "Don't think. Just go." Mercifully, he doesn't add his normal truisms: "What's my name?" or "Who's your daddy?" or even, "Is he rich like me?" In a confessional that must have been filmed either before or after the trip, unless they brought the confessional background with them on the plane, David says that he's trying to prove himself, and he's getting to that point right now. Chris says that David will be the first person to jump. David yells out, "Black people don't bungee!" I wonder if he took a poll or something. Some other random guy bungee jumps, and it's really far down, and we go to commercial.
Back from commercial, we get a few aerial shots of the bridge over the falls. The bungee guy explains that the main attachment is around your ankles, and the backup is around your waist, thus there is never a time when you only have one attachment. "Except if one of the cords breaks," I think. This is why I will never bungee jump. The Video Music Awards promo returns to the corner of the screen. Bungee Guy further explains, "The safety factor is very, very good" and the "enjoyment factor is as good." In an interview, David says again that he's already having doubts. So, is David conflicted about whether or not to do this? Melissa wants David to ask the guy if anyone has ever died. Jamie gets hooked up and goes out on the platform. For some reason, he makes a movement like a pigeon, bobbing his head up and down, while he listens to the instructions. The guy counts down from five, and then gives Jamie a big shove on the back, sending him plummeting towards the earth. The Video Music Awards promo finally disappears. In an interview, Jamie tells us that when he rebounded, he was looking at all of Victoria Falls, and it was incredible.
Matt is up . He voice-overs that he's "scared to death." The guy does the countdown, but instead of diving, Matt kind of steps off the platform, and at first I thought he slipped. But apparently, all is well. Julie is up , and she tells the guy she has "really small ankles." Once she's all strapped in, she starts gasping for breath, and the Bungee Guy tells her kindly that the longer she sits there, the worse it becomes. She makes her way out to the platform, and the guy tells her to look at the video cameras and say something "intelligent, profound and cool." Julie barely looks at the camera, and ends up with "silent, terrified and about to throw up." Bungee Guy realizes that she's not up to the task, and does the countdown, and Julie jumps. David is shown wearing a baseball cap, but instead of having it on frontward or backward, or even sideways, he has it turned a little to one side. Maybe that's the latest trend, but it looks like he just messed up when putting it on that morning. Julie runs and hugs Melissa, then says in an interview that it's like a natural high, and, "Who needs drugs when you have bungee cords?" I hope she also filed that one away for her wedding night. Julie hugs Jamie. Jamie tells her that she "looked great going down." I could make another sex joke here, but...oh, look at that. I just did.
David is up last. In an interview, he says he will probably never have this experience again, and he's never done something like this before. His preparations for the jump include removing his shirt for some reason. All the other roommates kept their shirts on, so it's not like it was a prerequisite or something. In an interview, David says that if you die, at least you die doing something you've never done before. Don't you always die while doing something you've never done before -- namely, dying? David goes out onto the platform and jumps, and it looks like he's going to hit the water at the bottom, but he doesn't. In an interview, David says he was looking down at the running water and it was dead silent, and all he heard was the wind. Unfortunately, that blessed silence doesn't last long enough, as David returns to the bridge and tells Jamie, "Black people do bungee!" Thanks for the news bulletin, since we all watched it seconds ago.
Matt, Jamie and Danny are eating dinner. Matt tells Jamie that bungee jumping was "a spiritual experience." Yeah, if I did it, I would start out with, "Please, Jesus, save me" and while in the air, scream out, "Oh my God," and then, assuming I lived, would end it with, "Holy shit!" And that's why I'm going to hell. In an interview, Matt says that it was the most amazing thing he's ever done, and you have to love life after jumping three hundred and sixty-five feet off a bridge. I can't argue with that. Jamie says that after Matt came up, he saw "euphoria" in Matt's eyes. Matt pours himself a drink from a tall glass bottle of Coke. Mmm, Coke in a glass bottle. Matt discusses the guys under the bridge who helped them up, saying they made him want to say, "Thank you for helping make this happen," which is silly, because they are just "common people that learned what to do with the ropes." Somewhere, a "common person" plots to give Matt the bum bungee cord time he jumps. David arrives at the table and asks if they are "exchanging bungee stories" without him. In an interview, David says he's using the trip to try to get to know people, because he's still the odd man out. Back at the dinner table, Matt jokes that David was all, "I'm in the club, too!" Like, way to awkwardly call attention to David's one attempt at friendship, Matt.
It's dark out, and we see a sign that says, "Do not walk beyond tree line -- danger of wild animals." Chris wakes up the boys. Someone (possibly David) is wearing tightie whities, but with the mosquito nets and the dark, it's hard to tell who it is. Chris goes into the girls' cabin and finds Julie already awake. She explains that she "got up at 4 AM." Melissa says she's not going on this outing, because she's already in a bad mood, and she doesn't want to "see animals defecating and raping each other." In an interview, Julie says that when you look at the way animals live, you get the concept of what's important in life. Yeah, according to Melissa, it's sex and poop. Count me in!
The gang is on a truck, on yet another safari. They see some giraffes on the trail. Matt says, in an interview, that it's awesome and that there are "zebras running across grassy fields." Jamie makes like Nate from the Seattle season when he says, "Look at the monkeys just chilling in the tree." David takes this opportunity to start blathering to Jamie about Nietzsche, or one of his students, or something. Look, I had to take a lot of philosophy and religion courses in college, and there was a time when I knew all about the various German philosophers, and existentialism and all that. But that time is no longer. I have more important things to remember, like the new fall television schedules. So I have no idea if what David is saying is valid, or correct, or even makes sense. Jamie says something back about "superhuman." In an interview, David says he can't talk to Jamie about Wall Street, because he doesn't "know a damn thing about it." Oh, that I can help him with. See, it starred Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko and Charlie Sheen as the young, earnest guy just starting out, and it was all, "Greed is good" and...oh, he's talking about the financial district, not the movie. Oops. David finishes by saying that he will "connect with Jamie on philosophy." Back on the safari, David babbles some more, and then they show some more animals.
David and Kelley are sitting alone outside someplace (sorry I can't be more specific). David says he thought about joining the Nation of Islam, but then he found out about the whole "respecting women" part. Well, he didn't say that last part, but he might as well have. Kelley asks if they are violent. David says no. Kelley asks if it's like the Black Panther movement, or if she's getting them mixed up. Yeah, those pesky African-Americans and their empowerment strategies. That was sarcasm, y'all. Although, some of the Black Panther philosophy was based on the teachings of Malcolm X, who was a member of the Nation of Islam until shortly before his death, so I guess there is some basis for mixing them up. At least she didn't say, "Is that like the NAACP?" Anyway, David tells her that she is getting them mixed up, but that they had similar principles, which was a surprisingly diplomatic way (for him) of handling it. In an interview, David says that Kelley is trying to understand. In her own interview, Kelley says that David feels as though he's become alienated, and nobody wants to go out of their way to give him a hand. David tells Kelley that after "his dad got divorced" (because apparently, his mom didn't), he wanted to find a new identity that was completely the opposite of everything his father taught and stood for, and that's why he wanted to join the Nation of Islam. In an interview, David says that he never thought he would have a conversation, especially with Kelley, about something that deep. Wow, that was kind of a slam on Kelley, was it not? He likens his philosophy connection with Jamie to his "church" connection with Kelley, although from what we saw, they weren't really talking about church.