Melissa offers to do some research (i.e. ask her parents) and adds that she has "a lot to say" because she's the product of an interracial marriage. Plus, she adds somewhat jokingly that every relationship that she has is "interracial, or multiracial, or intraracial" and everyone chuckles except David, who totally dismisses her comments by saying, "That's love." David pretends Melissa never even spoke, and says that he has a couple coming on to discuss the topic. I can understand wanting to get both sides of the story and all, but wouldn't it be nice to let Melissa be involved in a topic that is clearly a big deal for her? That's like if they did a show on people who make constipated faces while singing and didn't let David be involved. Or if they did a show on men who wear really brightly-colored shirts and like to break-dance, and they were like, "Sorry, Matt, but we've already got someone." Or if they did a show about men with extraordinarily large craniums, and they were like, "Sorry, Jamie, but James Van Der Beek and Jay Leno have already been confirmed. Maybe time." You know? In an interview, Melissa says that her "input is not appreciated," and she gets nothing but rejections every time she tries to put her two cents in. Knowing Melissa, she probably tries to put in about twenty-two cents, but still. See above. David talks to Matt about the set, and says that he has a band coming in for the show, so he'll give Matt the particulars tomorrow, particularly about "the keyboard player, blah, blah, blah." David says that he's meeting with the band at 2:00 PM, but that they still have to be in the office. Then he says that because of the band, he wants to do a lot of "pan shots" and "quick shots." Gee, are those the technical terms? And seriously, it's cable-access television, not NYU Film School. Spare me the fancy editing. In an interview, Danny says that David has "this wall between himself and the rest of us." Then there's another unnecessary scene-ending shot of David just sitting on the couch and shaking his head, kind of like a horse. Again, I posit that they were a little short on time this week and decided to stretch each scene to its limit.
At NOA-TV, David asks someone for the number in the office. David voice-overs that its 1:30 and he's got to meet with the manager of the band at 2:00. Matt adds helpfully, in an interview, "And the car is gone." Seriously, that was the whole interview segment with Matt. See, I think they're trying to make it out like David isn't the only one who's upset over this issue, so they have Matt throw in really unnecessary details that I'm sure David covered in his own interview. Cut to Julie driving the car, with Melissa and Kelley reading a magazine in the back seat. Julie is totally turned around in her seat talking to them, and I'm just waiting for them to get in an accident. Cut back to the station, where David is voice-overing, "Jamie is chilling, Matt's at the computer, and nobody else is there." Then, in case we didn't grasp the subtleties of "nobody else is there," David goes on to say that nobody is in the editing suite, nobody is in the production suite, and nobody's anywhere. David pages the missing roommates. In an interview, David helps the editors stretch this episode out a little more by explaining what he was just doing, saying that he's paging everybody, "like 1-800-page, page, page." Ah, I think I've figured out his problem. There are way too many digits in that phone number. No wonder in the scene we see him getting a "out of service" tone. David continues talking, saying that they knew he had to go to this meeting, and it's bothering him a lot. Back in the car, Julie asks everyone if they want to go right back to work. Danny says yes, and Melissa says sarcastically, "Yes, so we can get yelled at. Please, take me quickly." Notice that they are cutting this as if the events in the car are happening while David is paging them, when they could have been hours before or hours later.
In an interview, Matt says, "It's not like they're just dissing their boss. They're dissing David." I thought he was defending them with that statement, but it turns out that he was saying they were wrong to be gone so long. See how it could go either way, though? David paces around the office. In an interview, David says that he has the band waiting to meet him, but this could mess it all up. Now, from all this description, you'd think that like twenty minutes has passed at least, right? David said it was 1:30 a long time ago. Except that the clock on the wall says that it's 1:32 now. It's two minutes later. I feel so manipulated, as usual. David tells Matt that he'll make the meeting, but if the missing roommates don't call, and he has to take a cab, he'll be "one pissed person," so he'd "advise someone to be there" when he sees them again, to separate him because he will go off. When David said "if they don't call," they cut to a shot of Jamie on the phone, and I thought maybe Jamie was secretly talking to them and telling them to stay away longer. But I guess it was just another random clip of Jamie, to prove he still lives there. And, David? Chill the fuck out. I can understand being cheesed off about the car business, but making threats doesn't prove anything except that you are immature. Jamie seems to share my sentiment, as they cut to him for a reason this time, and he makes a face like, "Ooookay!" Back in the delinquent car, Melissa is predicting David's reaction upon their return: "Where the hell have you guys been? We have been working! So! Hard!" Julie chimes in that David will be so mad that he'll stammer, "Wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh," and everyone cracks up because they are four years old. Someone (Julie?) yells out, "And that is not love!" which is actually kind of funny. Back in the studio, David tells Jamie to tell the missing group that they shouldn't have left, and he's pissed, and he's "going to wring their fucking asses." He assures Jamie that he can deliver the message any way he wants, and then dismisses Jamie. If I were Jamie, as soon as David walked away, I would have done a mock salute, but then again, I am also four years old. ["And how in the hell do you wring someone's ass?" -- Sars] David and Matt walk out.
In an interview, Matt says that he and David ended up "hitching a ride to meet with the manager of 'Mental Metropolis.'" I'm sure he means that someone gave them a ride, not that they stuck out their thumbs on the side of the road, although that does present a humorous mental image. While they meet with the band manager, David voice-overs that he "has issues" (you're telling me!) because the only person really, really working hard besides himself is Matt. They finish their meeting and leave. While walking down the street, they have a conversation where David says they discussed being in the office from noon to four. Matt says that "they know they're in the wrong," and then gives an example of how he would handle it if he were the producer. I actually like Matt for a second, because he gives David advice in a pretty non-offensive manner. I half-expected David to turn around and spit, "You're NOT the producer! I am! Me! David! Me!"
In an interview, David says that he doesn't have a level-one storm, and he doesn't have a level-two storm, and that everything is level six. What the hell is he talking about? Then he says to Matt that level six is not a good place to be. This reminds me an uncomfortable amount of Puck, on the Reunion Special, talking about how they can have Puck on six or Puck on ten. And Puck was most likely mentally ill, and allegedly on hallucinogenic drugs. What's David's excuse? I think someone has been watching The Weather Channel a little too much. Matt wants to know what he can do to help bring David down to calm, because he doesn't want the others to "push off" what David has to say. I don't know how Matt continues to talk rationally to David. I would be all, "Dude, you are crazy! Woo woo!" David voice-overs, "Matt and David is a team, dude! I got all I need in Matt!" This is getting a little strange. First, Matt is asking how he could possibly calm David down, and now David is saying that he has all he needs in Matt. David tells Matt that just his presence will help him to stay calm. Matt just wants to be sure that things come out right. David says, "Just be there." Then, David says, "Just be there." David likes to repeat himself. He and Matt enter the house.
They want you to think this is moments later, but David has had time to strip down to a tank top, so I'm guessing it's a while later. David asks everyone to gather in the living room. After they all get settled, David says that he has "something to go over real quick." In an interview, David says, "I'm holding myself back. I'm holding myself back." I told you he likes to repeat himself. ["He's like Johnny Two Times from GoodFellas, all 'I'm gonna get the papers, get the papers.'" -- Sars] David tells his roommates that he's "a little bit disappointed" and that he told them about his meeting, and they weren't there, and he doesn't understand what is going on, because from "the first show, the first understanding" was that noon to four is NOA-TV time "and that's all. From noon to four, there is no deviation." Kelley interrupts to say that they have all deviated from that in the past, but you know she means, "David, remember when I was producing the show and you were playing the piano for hours on end?" David says that when they were supposed to be in the office, they should be in the office. That's profound. Kelley says that she's not arguing with him, but he's wrong, which seems like a fairly argumentative statement. In an interview, Danny says that David sits there and lectures them about the same things he was doing three weeks before. Hey, I thought this was supposed to be their second show? So wouldn't David's goofing off have happened the week before? Unless, of course, Danny's interview was taped long after this little meeting. Hmm, interesting. Anyway, David says again that there is no deviation, and that they should be there from noon to four, and he doesn't care if they are twiddling their thumbs, they should be there. Not to diminish David's understandable anger over them not returning with the car, but maybe if he actually delegated some work for them to do, they wouldn't mind coming to the station for four hours. I'm just sayin'. In an interview, Danny says that David is the biggest hypocrite he's ever seen. David concludes by telling the roommates that they should "let [him] know what's up" because "it's [his] bag." Well, that's clear. As mud. Everyone starts talking, but Danny talks loudest, and says that he's not going to be lectured like that, and David is not his father, and nobody in that room is going to lecture him. I think the repeating disease is spreading. David says that it's work, and if they can't work four hours...Danny interrupts to say that nobody in the room has "room to talk on this issue" and "that's the end. Of it. Nobody." Some head-wagging and finger-waving accompany this speech. I yell at my television, "You go, girl!" before I remember that I'm old, and white, and straight, and out of touch with the current slang. Maybe I should join Matt in the 1920s.
Kelley says that they have done the work that was delegated to them. David says, "Who is talking? Are you talking for you guys? Go ahead." This is annoying, not only because he mumbles it, but also because it shows how David is paranoid and thinks they are all ganging up on him, and that it's a team of "you guys" versus him and his little buddy, Matt. Kelley gets annoyed too, and tells David that she is finished. In an interview, Jamie says that David "took his leadership responsibility to this level of...dictatorship." David tells them all that he doesn't give a damn what happened in the past. Melissa says that he should respect the fact that it was a mistake, and that they've apologized, but from this misunderstanding, they've learned that there will be no one boss. They have? Are these people even listening to one another at all? David says, "That's too easy." I don't even know what they are talking about. It's like the editors took a whole bunch of sentences and just put them in random order. Hmm. Anyway, Kelley says that it's pointless. Julie decides to be the voice of reason, and says that the point is that David got his work done, and did it well, and the bottom line is that they all need to get their work done and do it well. I have no idea what that has to do with not getting the car back on time. David says, "This is the thing. This is the thing. This is the thing." Would someone hit him on the back already? He's like a broken record. David finally gets unjammed and continues, "Tomorrow, twelve to four, period. Twelve to four, you do your job." Except when he says, "Twelve to four," he refuses to move his lips, so it comes out, "Tel to faux." He bugs me. If I were Melissa, I think I would just keep repeating that it won't work, like David did when they were discussing the book idea. And then if I were Kelley, I would tell David that I was working on my own thing, but I wasn't going to give him any information about it, but he had to make room for it in the show. Wouldn't you love to see David get a taste of his own medicine? Anyway, the editors stretch the scene by showing a shot of Melissa. Danny. Matt. Jamie. Julie. Belfort Exterior. Cut. Good one! They added about twenty seconds there.
Kelley, Matt, and Danny are walking down the street. I hope to God they are headed for the gym, because they are all in workout clothes. The kicker is that Matt is wearing a New Kids on the Block T-shirt. Did you know they had a bunch of hits? Can't you just see Matt sitting in his room, downloading "Please Don't Go, Girl" and "The Right Stuff" on Napster? Kelley says that she knows David is frustrated, but he doesn't know the right way to get his point across without making everyone defensive. Danny says he was fine, and being a gentleman about the car, until David started in with, "When I say twelve to four, you gotta be there!" Danny tries to imitate David in that last part, but he really just sounds like Mr. T, like "I pity the fool who don't work twelve to four!" Danny says getting lectured that way makes him crazy. Matt just lurks in the background as usual. Kelley says that David is trying to say something that is right, but he says it wrong. Matt pipes in that he's proud of David for keeping his cool, because he "knows how easy it is for him to get all wound up." Kelley says that David says things the wrong way, and that he needs "Communication Skills 101." Kelley continues babbling about communication skills, and Matt gets hit in the head by a low-hanging branch and then quickly ducks and covers, and practically rolls into the fetal position. I don't know if he thought it was a bat, or what, but it was pretty funny to see. Even better was the complete non-reaction from Danny and Kelley.
David answers the phone, and they want you to think that this happens while the others are at the gym, but it's clearly a different night, unless David changed all of his clothes in the meantime. Siena is on the other end, and she tells David that he's going to sing the national anthem. David says, "Yeah!" three times, because once is never enough with him. In an interview, David says that Siena told him to get ready to sing on the 27th, and it boggles his mind. I get the feeling it doesn't take much to boggle his mind.
David and Matt walk down the street as sad music plays in the background. Here comes the "tragic fucking clown" portion of the evening. See, we were all hating David, so now they have to make us feel sorry for him. Let's see if it works. In an interview, Matt is wearing his ugliest shirt yet, and he says that David is an only child, so he didn't develop the communication skills you usually get with brothers and sisters. I don't know about you, but my communication skills with my brother consisted of him telling me to shut up, then me telling him to make me, then him making me, and then me telling our mother. Repeat ad nauseam for the first sixteen years of my life. Matt asks David when his parents got divorced, and David says it happened ten years ago, when he was twelve. In an interview, David says he grew up with his mom and his relationship with his dad isn't too good. David tells Matt that his father is trying to make up for ten years of not being there, and he can try, but David won't help him. David and Matt get on a streetcar. David says, "You know that saying, 'Forgive and forget'? I don't do that." I expect Matt to launch into a whole Jesus speech about turning the other cheek, but no such luck. In an interview, David says that his father wasn't there, and that David gets his strength and determination from what his father didn't do. Aw, save it for your therapist. Isn't the "blaming your parents" trend over yet? Matt asks David how his mother dealt with his father leaving. David says that his mom showed him a strong face, but he heard her crying plenty of times. Okay, that's a little bit sad. In an interview, Matt says he realized that David's mom is the single most important person in his life.
David arrives at the house, probably on a completely different night, and calls his mom. His mother was sleeping, but David doesn't care, and asks his mom to come down and see him sing the national anthem. She's all confused, because she's asleep, so he repeats the question. In an interview, David says that to have his mom there to "hear her baby sing the national anthem would be an amazing thing" because "she knows he tries real hard to make her proud." Yeah, he tries "real hard" by sleeping with lots of women, scatting, and wearing that tired-ass tank top and doo-rag. I know the producers are trying to get me to soften up about David, but I'm not buying it.
Over the credits, David hums the national anthem and Matt starts singing it. At first, I think Matt is decent, but he switches keys a few times. Matt jokes that if David messes up, Matt will be there and David can pass him the mike. Then he asks David to back him up on the song and David (yes!) scats a little bit. I think every episode should feature David scatting. It cheers me up.