Previously on The Real World, Kaia got flowers from some guy and then talked about how her dad died of "AIDS and brain cancer" and then said she can't fall in love with a man because her father died and left her. So, we know that this week's episode is going to be about Kaia's quest for love. Hey, I thought it was going to be about their vacation? What the...?
Before I begin, let me just say that this week's episode was so incredibly boring. I'll do the best I can, but there's not much material to work with here. Normally I take about 6 or 7 pages of notes; this week, I took 3. So there you go. Also, I watched this episode with Mary and Molly and I'm totally going to swipe their jokes.
Teck went to an outdoor concert with Pharcyde, Black Eyed Peas and De La Soul. This concert seems to be sparsely attended, but it looked kind of rainy too. Due to Teck's innate coolness, he gets to stand on stage and videotape the concert. Or maybe it's because he's from MTV. I'm not sure. Anyway, one of the members of Pharcyde loves Teck because he's so cool. Or because he's from MTV. One or the other. This band member is named Tre.
Later, Teck and Tetanus Girl are in the van together. Teck has no shirt on and I'm repulsed. Tet Girl has a flower in her hair, and what will become an increasingly ridiculous accessory throughout the show -- a bindi. You know, a dot or jewel in the middle of her forehead, traditionally worn by Indian women. Teck informs us that Tet Girl needs to feel 100% about people and she hasn't found that in Hawaii yet. In the van, Teck asks if "he" called her (with no reference to who "he" is), and Tet Girl says that SHE called HIM. Teck says that she's getting lonely (which translates to "horny" for Teck). In a confessional, Tet Girl says she's really picky.
Back in the van, Teck says that he's there for Tet Girl, and she says that it's a loneliness that only certain people can fulfill (which means, she's horny). Teck says, again, that he's there (which means, he'll do her). Tet Girl says, "You wouldn't be able to handle me." Teck is speechless at the fact that he just got dissed, big time, and all he can say is, "Hey, girl." Good comeback.
Teck tells us that he and Tet Girl went to a club (and we see them walking in) and Tet Girl was talking to Tre from Pharcyde, which we also see. Good thing we have Teck to tell us what we're seeing. Otherwise I wouldn't understand. Teck says Tet Girl was wearing a "hoochie mama outfit," and I'm not sure how this is different from what she wears every day. Must be the bindi. Tet Girl asks Tre if he wants to walk on the beach, and Tre says OK. But it has nothing to do with the fact that he's in a band and she's from MTV. Really. It doesn't.
As Tre and Tet Girl walk to the beach, Tet Girl babbles about something and Tre says, "Silence is good too." As Mary says, "In other words, shut up!" They talk about music and it's a really boring conversation. Tet Girl has a bindi on that looks like a big melanoma. They babble on some more about being "in the moment" and Tet Girl says that Tre describes things the way that she would. Good Lord, who knew there could be two of them? In a confessional, I have no idea what Tet Girl said because she has on this terrible dangling bindi that completely distracts me. Her hair sucks too. Anyway, Tet Girl drives Tre home and says she wants to see him again, and kisses him goodnight. Then she says, "I'm learning, growing, expanding...this is a test for me. A serious test." This is a sample of the kinds of things she says throughout the episode, in case you didn't believe me how boring it was.
Teck goes to the mailbox in the middle of the night (isn't that when you pick up your mail?) and gets a big envelope out. He opens it, and it contains the details of their annual trip. They get to go anywhere in the world, but they have to decide within twenty-four hours. They all chant "twenty-four hours" for no apparent reason. White Bread channels the seventy-five-year-old man and says, "Peachy." I know "jalopy" is right around the corner. They spread a world map out on the pool table, in case they aren't sure exactly where "anywhere in the world" is. They all throw out suggestions. Most of them are places no one would really want to go, but which make them look smarter. These include: Egypt, Borneo, China, India and Greece. White Bread shows his sensitive side when he says they should go to Russia, where Ruthie could drink Boris Yeltsin under the table. I hope this interlude took place before Ruthie went into counseling. Not that White Bread has been too supportive of Ruthie's attempts to work on her problem. Justin wants to go someplace none of them have been. Teck is concerned that they go to a place where they can "get their party on." Colin says that's not a top priority for him, and he wants to go to Africa. Wonder Bread takes a picture of Annoying lying on the map.
Colin talks to his friend Trevor on the phone and says that this is the coolest thing that's ever happened to him, and that he feels like he doesn't deserve it. He discovers that the decision has to be unanimous, and he's nervous that this group will have a hard time agreeing on something. They set this up to be a big conflict -- will they agree? We can only wait and see how it turns out. Again, in a boring episode, even the tiniest potential conflict will be magnified.
The roommates have a group meeting about their trip. I'm all ready for this big conflict that Colin set up at the end of Act I. Tet Girl says they want to go somewhere very different from Hawaii. They decide to go around the room and announce where they want to go. I think Justin was making fun of Annoying when he said, "Let's go in a circle!". Tet Girl starts things off by saying she'll go wherever everyone else decides. Ruthie says "India" and then blows out a big plume of smoke. Justin says, "I think, India". Annoying says "India" and then tells us that Justin has infiltrated their brains with India. I think they're trying to set up more conflict, so that if someone later decides that maybe he doesn't like India, they can blame Justin. Because, you know, they don't have minds of their own and Justin put some kind of crazy spell on them. Annoying also says she is a little worried about Teck going on the trip, since his biggest concern was where the strip clubs are. For Teck's choice, he mocks some Indian singing and then says, "India. Give me the red dot woman." Besides being a cultural stereotype, I'm thinking he could just look to Tetanus Girl and her assorted bindis. I'm sure she has a red dot one in her collection somewhere.
Now it's Wonder Bread's choice and he pontificates, "At the top of Diamond Head, I reached a realization." Colin has the funniest line of the episode, when he says, "Matt, just tell us." Ha! WB says, "It's INNNDIA" in a really annoying voice (other than the one he normally uses). It's up to Colin who says, inexplicably, "It's India, Matt." I don't know why he addressed this to Matt. Also, where was the trouble reaching a group decision? What a rip-off.
The roommates celebrate their decision. Teck babbles about "Taj Mahal, charm some snakes, ride elephants." Annoying yells out, "Taj Mahal! That's all I want to see!" I'm wondering if she even knows what the Taj Mahal is.
Then they show a commercial for Priceline.com. That's the only reason I can think of why they needed to get their own tickets to India, and did so on Priceline. Product placement, much? Teck takes a big swig of Dr. Pepper and hitches up his Levis, and reveals his complete ignorance about computers. I guess I don't have to worry about him reading this site!
Tet Girl and Justin go to the Big Island as promised. They stay in a big house. It's peaceful. It's boring.
They return home and Tet Girl calls Tre and goes to see him at his hotel. She's afraid of a relationship but she'll let it happen, she says. It's unclear if they end up sleeping together or what, but Tet Girl has some grease in her hair, I think. I can't imagine why else her hair would look like that.