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By Sara M

When we return, Lucy has just told her dad that she's going to accompany him on his cross-country journey. RevCam has no problem with that, so long as some of them ride in the minivan with Mac, the blonde, and the redhead. Lucy says that's fine, and RevCam makes sure she knows to observe his stupid "three items" rule. Lucy says that she has a two-and-a-half-year-old and therefore might need a special exception. RevCam will not give it to her. So Lucy realizes this is sheer insanity and tells him to fuck off and goes back to her house and lives her own life with her own family. Actually, she agrees to the rule, thrilled when RevCam tells her that cell phones and chargers count as one item. "This is gonna be...exciting!" Lucy says. "Yeah, life is exciting," RevCam replies. "YEAH!" Lucy shouts. I wonder if, at some point, this script was a work of literary genius and then it got run through the Babelfish English-to-retard translator. RevCam detects sadness behind Lucy's smile, but she tries to deny she's upset. He thinks (hopes) that she doesn't actually want to go on the trip with them, but she says she wants to, and she is. After more back-and-forth talk that goes nowhere, Lucy finally sucks it up and asks her dad what's wrong with him. He says he's fine and wouldn't lie to the entire community about his heart. But when she asks him to swear on it, he just smiles and says he doesn't like to swear. Unlike Annie, who early this season said "my ass." Can you believe that? But she did! RevCam wonders why people can't believe good news. I'm guessing it's because we're so used to getting great news about a terrible show being cancelled, only to be crushed with disappointment when the show comes back for another season.

Meanwhile, Kevin wants the horrible Duff girl to ask her doctor boyfriend to ask RevCam's doctor if he's dying or not. The horrible Duff girl is worried that she'll put her relationship with her new fiancé in jeopardy by doing this, but Kevin doesn't really care. Just to be even more of an asshole, he says he doesn't "get" why a man would want to be a gynecologist and would prefer it if Lucy saw a female. First of all, isn't your brother-in-law a male gynecologist? And second, Kevin had better not drag some innocent woman gynecologist onto the RV with the rest of them. Lucy walks in to make sure that the horrible Duff girl will do her bidding. The horrible Duff girl again says that it's a lot for them to ask of her, and they again don't care. Kevin says that he knows someone else who might know something about RevCam's heart, but he won't say anything more about it when asked. Which is fine with me, because I don't care. He leaves. Lucy reminds the horrible Duff girl about the stupid "three items" rule (a cell phone and charger count as one item!) that is freaking dominating this episode, then graciously thanks her for putting her engagement in jeopardy because Lucy doesn't trust her own father to tell her whether or not he's dying. What family values! The horrible Duff girl weighs in on the RV trip: "It's almost like we got sucked into some black hole." Preach it, horrible Duff girl! Keep talking sense like that and I might drop the "horrible" from your name. Horrible Duff girl adds that it feels like they've been "called" by some strange force to go on this road trip, "whether it really makes any sense or not." The answer is "not," and the only reason why you were called for this journey is that Barry Watson, Jessica Biel, and David Gallagher wisely refused to answer their phones. Instead of getting the hint that the horrible Duff girl does not want to go on this trip at all, Lucy just says she can use that speech in a sermon somewhere, as it's true Camden style to throw some boring nonsensical speech into a sermon and then make your eyes glisten with tears while you deliver it.