Jonathan Murray: Er, sir?
Mary-Ellis Bunim: Zzzzzzzzzz. [smacking lips].
Murray: Sir? Siiiiiiiir? Wake up, sir. Our show is on.
Bunim: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Murray: Sir? [louder] Sir? [whispers] I hate you, you bitch. You've ruined my life.
Bunim: [clearly] I heard that.
Mike brings home a lady named Morgan. Lori is -- big surprise -- eating. Mike explains that he took his lady to the wax museum, and that it was "sooooo cool." I can just see the Mike Dating Plan now. A fun night at the wax museum, followed by dinner at the Planet Hollywood. Whoo! That would put me in the mood. Mike walks into his room and sees the sign, and then reads it out loud, apparently unable to read to himself. Mike explains to Morgan that the sign wasn't there before, and she is unable to grasp the concept. I think I might kill myself if this show gets any more boring. I can't even bring myself to type the sentences. Could something happen? Please? I don't even care if they make shit up at this point. I don't care if they have to splice together audio to make it sounds like Rachel propositioned Malik. I don't care. Nothing could be more boring than the subplot featuring Mike's fucking kiss-ass sign. Sigh. The scene ends with some bizarre security-cam footage of Mike sleeping, and I swear to God he wipes his nose and then wipes it on his pillowcase. Was that clip even supposed to be in there?
Lori goes back to talk to Jerry the door guy. She asks if she can get a tour the day, and he agrees. As they walk away, Rachel gushes over how cute Jerry is, and how he reached out to touch Lori when he didn't have to. They are such girls. We do that, you know. Obsess over every insignificant detail of every encounter. It's sick. Lori thinks that Jerry is "a little weird around the mouth," but Rachel is convinced that "the rest of him makes up for it." Lori says that she's taking it slow. Rachel thinks that Lori needs to look hot for her tour.
Lori gets off the subway wearing a fuchsia dress. It's pretty, but she should have put her hair up. Wasn't it just last week that it was too cold for the girls to go out to dinner, and this week everyone is walking around in short sleeves? I don't know. Lori gets to the store, and Jerry claims that it's a bad day for a tour, so he's going to give her a card, and she should call before coming time. Lori voice-overs that Jerry is flirtatious. Jerry comes back out and asks Lori if she'll stay there because she matches the flowers. His employers are totally peeking out the door at the cameras. I imagine he went inside and was like, "Look, I don't want to lead the girl on. I don't like her." And his employers were like, "It's free publicity! Don't ruin this for us. Just do it! We'll be watching." Outside, Jerry grabs her hand and says goodbye, and then totally watches Lori walk off.