Real World TV Show - The New Orleans Melissa Interview, Part II - Real World Photos & Videos, Real World Reviews & Real World Recaps | TWoP

Melissa: So we were eating dinner, and Julie's dad was still there. My dad goes, "Where'd that Mormon guy go?" And I'm like, "Oh, Jesus." And then they're sitting on the porch together and I'm like, "Julie, my dad and your dad are on the porch together right now, and I don't know if you want to go break that up." She's like, "Oh God, what do you think they are talking about?" We sent Matt out there to go talk to them. We're like, "Matt, just make them not talk about us." It was hilarious because my dad is very blunt, and Julie's dad doesn't curse. [Julie's dad] probably doesn't know black people intimately. My dad's like, "So, I'm stationed in North Dakota, right, and these mother fuckers tell me..." and I'm like, "Oh my God." Jamie took my dad out. They had beers. They had Mardi Gras beads. I was like, "Have you been with Jamie, Dad?" And he's like, "Oh, Jamie is a standup guy. I like him." Kim: [laughs] I hope that makes the show. But it won't, because it's not Jamie being a jerk, so clearly that won't make the cut. Melissa: It was hilarious, though. My mother absolutely adored everybody. I hope they don't subtitle my mom. Her heart would just be broken. She was so upset, after the casting special. She was like, "Everybody make fun of me, say I got my panty at K-Mart." I'm like, "But you did!" [laughs] Kim: So what do your parents think about you on the show? Do they watch it, and call you? Melissa: I get a call about 7:00 Pacific time every Tuesday. And my dad will be like, "Baby, you do know I gotta keep my job now, goddammit." And I'm like, "Dad, it's just stripping, whatever." And my dad's like, "Well, I'm gonna go into work early every Wednesday because I got the real scoop and everything." I'll call my mom, if I'm on the road, and I'll be like, "Mom, what happened on the show last night? I didn't get to see it." This is my mom's recap. It'll take seriously an hour. "Well, what happened is, Danny, he is gay." Kim: Like that changes from week to week. Melissa: Yeah, Danny's gay every week to my mom. And that's true because Danny is fulfilling the gay character. Kim: Right. Just like Jamie can only be bad, Danny can only be gay. Melissa: Right! Danny did not talk about being gay that much! Every time I see him, I'm like, "God! What?" Like if you were to hang out with Danny, you would not know he was gay, unless he told you. ["And here, I'm embarrassed to report, I told a really boring story that I've already told on the forums involving the time I saw Danny in person when I was in New York City. I'll spare you." -- Wing Chun] My mom calls every week, "Hey, when am I going to make my television day-butte?" I'm like, "Debut, Mom!" So many times while we were there, I had to tell my dad, "You can't look into the cameras." My dad would look right into the camera and be like, "I'd like to give a shout-out to my boy Terrence." They were just hilarious. The crew people were like, "Melissa, your parents are so natural." Kim: You guys should have a TV show together, the three of you. Melissa: Oh my God, I know. I wanted my parents to stay, but then a part of me didn't. My parents are straight up for real with everybody. Everything I had told them, my dad told them. He's like, "Yeah, Jamie, my daughter, she thinks you're fine and everything." I was like, "Dad!" My mom's like, "So, Matt, you are a Catholic virgin?" And then my mom's like, "Oh, David, why you let Melissa cuss at you like that? I don't let her talk to me like that." I was like, okay, as if David's not already embarrassed, you know. We talk a little bit about what made her decide to try to be on the show. Kim: So, Ruthie [from Hawaii] is what made you realize that you could be on the show too? Melissa: Well, just because she was so normal and she didn't get to be anything but an alcoholic. And I knew full well that there's so much more to her than that. And I just thought about it and went through the history of the show, and I was like, "They need a brown girl. They need one. And I'm bored as hell at my job. And hell, yeah, I wanna be famous!" So, I sat down and I was like, "Hi, I'm Melissa from Tampa. My dad's black and my mom's Filipino." And I had a whole conversation with my mom and dad on my casting tape, but I did the voices. I remember the logger that logged my tape called me at home and was like, "It took us two hours to log a ten minute tape." And I'm like, "Why?" and he's like, "Because we kept passing it around, like 'Look at this fucking shit, oh my God!'" They were cracking up! Kim: So, then you were like, "Dude, I'm on! I'm on the show." Melissa: I got so cocky! I would be at bars, and people would be like, "So, what are you going to do for Christmas?" And I'd be like, "Child, please. I'm going to be wherever they're filming." And they'd be like, "You're on?" And I'd be like, "Shit, man, I've been on since yesterday." Then, when it came down to it, and I thought I might NOT be on the show, I was like, "I'm going to have to move!" Kim: "I'll just have to go away for three months and tell everybody I was on the show, and they won't find out for a while. I'll just tell them I got cut out." Melissa: It's amazing, too, the people that come out of the woodwork. People that I knew in third grade have called my mom and they're like, "Do you know where Melissa is?" And Mom is just like, "Hey, you don't never talk to her! Remember, you told her she had big lip?" My mom just throws things in people's faces. I hope that she's on the show, because if you meet my parents on the show, you will understand more why I'm so kooky. Because they're just ridiculous. And I respect them so much -- thirty years together, with that problem, and they're happy, and they held hands all the time. Conversation turns to the fact that all of the mistakes that the people on the show make are recorded on film forever. Kim: Well, I think all girls make some mistakes in their lives, in terms of guys that they get involved with and to have that be on national television would just be the worst. Melissa: So, I went on a date with Frat Matt and I disliked him because he was Frat Matt, because at the core, he wasn't really fun, and he was there for the television show. I could see him looking at the cameras. I could see him calling his friends and inviting them. They ask in your interviews, "How was your upbringing?" I'm like, "I grew up in an all-white neighborhood where a lot of the kids were privileged and I wasn't." Juxtapose that with me and Matt in the hot tub and it's, "Oh, now she doesn't like rich, white boys." I don't even care. I was upset at first, but now I don't even care. Kim: So when in that process would you say it hit you that he just wanted to be on TV? Melissa: When we're in the hot tub together, and I was totally grossed out... Kim: And you go, "You have baby hands" [laughs] That was so funny, because he totally did! Melissa: Julie was the first to notice it. Julie goes, "Melissa, don't date him. His hands are small. Look at them, they're disgusting." And then we started calling him T-Rex. [laughs] The crew was like, "That's just not nice." I'm like, "Will you put it on the show?" And they're like, "NO!" So, I was cognizant of it when he showed up, and he was wondering what everybody was doing. "Oh, Kelley looks really pretty. Where's she going? I bet she's going on a date. Oh, where's Jamie going? Oh, he's going out with his friends. Oh, where's David?" And he started wondering about everybody in the house. And so it looked like, "Oh my God, he doesn't ask me about me." And it looks like I'm just totally self-absorbed. But he wasn't interested in dating me. He was interested in dating Real World.