Stee: He was gayer than David. Gayer than that guy who got all Dangerous Liaisons in Hawaii.
Kim: "Why aren't you calling? You could be in great danger."
Stee: I wanted to see that guy who had no video camera and had to use the one at The Good Guys. Or The Wiz, in your part of the country.
Kim: Or Best Buy.
The finalist is Matt, a twenty-one-year-old from Hiawassee, Georgia. Matt enjoys hip-hop culture and break dancing. He's part of the "premiere b-boy crew" in Atlanta and is the host of "Phat Video." He's not a straightedge kid, but he doesn't smoke, drink or have sex. A pop-up tells us that he regularly attends Catholic mass. A casting director wonders how he came out of "the center of redneck culture." Matt says he watched television, like Mike Seaver, MacGuyver and Doogie Howser. The interviewers ask him to take his big yellow sunglasses off, and he does, because he says he doesn't rely on them for his image. They're just an accessory. Matt says he's like a mousetrap. He's set, and he just needs something to set him off so he'll snap, in a good way.
Stee: Matt. Oh, Matt. Poor Matt. Matt made me sad. "I'm like a mousetrap"?
Kim: Okay, this is a serious question. I am out of touch with youth culture...
Stee: Okay, go.
Kim: Do people really still breakdance? For real? Like since Breakin' II: Electric Boogaloo?
Stee: Not for fifteen years, my friend.
Kim: Whew!
Stee: But in Georgia, that shit is cutting-edge, boy.
Kim: He was poppin' and lockin' like a Fat Boy.
Stee: I thought he was going to melt when they made him take off the shades. Like that dude who loses power when the hair is cut off.
Kim: You mean Samson?
Stee: Yeah, that guy.
Kim: So, Matt was Seth Green's character in Can't Hardly Wait.
Stee: I have a friend who went down on Seth Green.
Kim: I knew he was gay.
Stee: It was a girl.
Kim: He is gay.
Stee: I don't know what to tell you, dude.
Kim: He is gay with Ryan Phillippe, in their "office."
Stee: Oops. It was Jamie Kennedy! Never mind. Everyone's gay with Ryan Phillippe.
Kim: Anyway, back to Matt.
Stee: No. Let's not go back to Matt. Matt sucks. He's all Breakdancing For Jesus.
Kim: SPOILER: Not to ruin it, but he goes on RW and hooks up with Julie the Mormon.
Stee: AWWWWWWW no!
Kim: I shit you not.
Stee: Do they just touch each other's butts all chastely?
Kim: I don't even want to know. I have to recap it.
Stee: Well, at least I don't have to watch Matt. Poor you. Julie can pretend he's Donny Osmond and he can pretend she's the Boogaloo Shrimp.
Kim: His heroes are Mike Seaver and Doogie Howser.
Stee: Don't fuck with Mike Seaver. He had a rad drop-top bug. Orange, I think.
Kim: I was about to say I almost liked him at that point. Then there was the whole taking off the glasses thing, and it was over.
Stee: You know how most people wanted to get into acting because of Lawrence Olivier or some shit? For me it was Kirk Cameron. He was cool.
Finalist #10 is Rachna, a twenty-one-year-old from Centerville, Ohio. She always watched Real World and has very strong responses to "the characters" like Kaia. She launches into a Kaia impersonation where she waxes philosophical about her Lucky Charms. When she finishes, she yells, "Life is not abstract!" Rachna doesn't consider being judgmental to be a weakness. She chooses to have a small group of friends because there are very few people she cares to be around. She grew up in a white neighborhood, and they called her "skunk" because a skunk is not white. A pop-up tells us that Rachna is a die-hard worshipper of Michael Jackson. Rachna is willing to like anyone, but once someone gets on her bad side, it's hard to get on her good side.
Stee: Oh, Rachna.
Kim: Yes, Rachna.
Stee: Did we both misspell it?
Kim: It's like Rachel but then it throws you a curve. It's like her parents went "Rachel? Nah. Hey!"
Stee: Ha. I loved her Kaia impression. It made me very, very happy. I hated me some Kaia.
Kim: Her Kaia impersonation was right on.
Stee: She's the Indian Janeane Garafolo of the house -- all caustic.
Kim: I don't know what if any show she ends up on. She was a die-hard fan of Michael Jackson.
Stee: I was too...but then I turned ten.
Kim: What's with the Michael Jackson renaissance?
Stee: I loved when the Five of Wisdom talked again and said how much they loved Matt's mousetrap analogy, how he's all "keeping it real."