America's Next Top Model TV Show - Girl Power! - America's Next Top Model Photos & Videos, America's Next Top Model Reviews & America's Next Top Model Recaps | TWoP

The photo is a beauty shot. The photographer says that when Tashi doesn't try, she gets it right. Stephanie looks amazing. Lucy was in her element, says Lisa, but Shauna and her love handles weren't impressing the photographer. Hilary says that Shauna worries too much about her body image. Well, I'm sure everyone is telling her that she's fat, so you really can't blame her for being concerned. Shauna ends up in the bottom two with Edwina. The other girls apparently get to weigh in on who should go home, and are staunchly behind Edwina getting the boot. Marisa recounts a terrible tale of Edwina telling her that she was in the reject group because she couldn't dance, and Marie Helvin is shocked! Either that, or she's having flashbacks to a particularly arousing episode of Magnum P.I. However, Edwina gets to stay, ostensibly because her photo was stronger, but most probably because she's a bitch, and that's always fun. Bye, Shauna! And then, it's time for the girls to learn how to put more "feeling" into their photos. Which means...acting! You guys, we're really not that different than our friends across the pond. Hayley tells us that Jenilee really stands out and comes out of her shell. We see her acting. Acting! The girls then have to act out a love scene opposite television heartthrob Paul Danan. Paul Danan was apparently on a show called Celebrity Love Island, which must be reimagined for American TV immediately. IMDB gives this description: "12 Z-list celebrities, famed in the UK for their sexual behavior, are being put together on a paradise island in Fiji where the viewers can see them hopefully [sic] copulate." Tara Reid is already calling her agent. We get to see clips of the acting scene, and they are totally terrible! At least the British aren't better actors than we are. Unless you go to movies starring Kate Winslet or Emma Thompson or Helen Mirren. And then we learn that Jenilee goes "for the big smacker," according to Tashi. She is sucking face with Paul Danan! THE Paul Danan! From Celebrity Love Island! Tashi adds that they were "snogging." Awesome. Hayley says good on her, because she was the only one who had the guts to do it. You know who doesn't say good on her? Jenilee's boyfriend. She calls him later to tell him about the whole thing, and says that she did it because she wanted to prove to everyone that she could be professional. Okay, that's pretty much the best line ever. I'm totally going to use that some day. "Sorry, honey, but I needed to do research for recapping! I have to prove to Wing Chun and everybody else that I can be professional!" Jenilee's boyfriend tells her not to keep doing that, and she says that it only lasted five seconds and was no big deal. He asks if they used tongues, and Jenilee hems and haws before saying, "I'm not gonna lie and say no." D'oh! Okay, and then, the girls have to put their acting skills to the test in what is apparently the porniest commercial for ice cream ever. I think it's some sort of ice cream bar with "tiger" in the name, because Tashi starts roaring and whatnot. Lucy struggles, having not eaten anything more than sparse handfuls of wild grasses in five years. Seriously, she looks like she is repulsed by the taste and texture of food. Paul De Freitas, the casting director, tells her that she has a complacency or lack of ambition. Lucy says she thinks that's unfair, because it's a totally new situation for her. I think there's more to it, but I honestly don't know what the fuck she's talking about. And then there is Marisa. Paul tells her that her audition was uncomfortable and too sexual. And seriously, she DROPS TO HER KNEES DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE CASTING DIRECTOR AND FELLATES AN ICE CREAM BAR. And then actually wipes the sides of her mouth and says, "It brings out the animal in you." Okay, that was awesome. Marisa says that she got the most criticism of all the girls and felt like it was an attack. Well, stop fellating ice cream bars and maybe people will treat you with more respect. How many times do I have to say that before these girls will listen? Commercials. When we return, Marisa broods on the criticism from the casting director, as Anne makes a shocking decision. She wants to leave! Jenilee says that she was very upset because Anne has a lot of potential. Stephanie is also shocked, and thinks Anne was a strong contender to win. The girls plead with Anne to stay. I don't know why. One fewer bitch to worry about, you know? Tashi says that she doesn't understand it at all, and tells Anne that she's not only letting herself down, but letting her little boys down. Oooh, Anne has kids. Unless Tashi is talking about her spectacular rack. The kids wanted their chance to shine! Anne says that she'd be letting herself down if she stayed. Tashi interviews that she felt like Anne could have gone far in the competition and is an absolutely special girl, but at the same time, she's a lunatic, and her leaving proves that. Okay, I kind of love Tashi. Anne confessionalizes (you can always tell it's a confessional by the cheesy red curtains!) that her heart and head aren't in the competition, and that it's not what she needs and wants anymore. She apparently lost all of her confidence as well. Naomi says that it's a selfish move, because there are lots of girls who would have loved to be there in her place. Marisa counters that there's nothing wrong with not wanting to be a model. There isn't? Why hasn't anyone told me this before? The day, the girls have to do a mock-up commercial in a freezing-cold shower. Oh, so they do this kind of stupid shit in Britain, too. The shower appears to be outside, and the girls have to be pretty much naked in the freezing-cold water, and then turn around (covering up their "boobies," of course), and say, "You have to buy it to try it." Hayley's "phobia of water" almost got the better of her. Phobia of water? Like, of a shower? That's gotta be pretty inconvenient. Hayley says that she was really upset when she got out of the shower, because of how bad she flubbed her lines. But Stephanie really lost it, and says that the moment the cold water hit her chest, she could not breathe. Lisa kind of comforts the girls, and then Stephanie drinks a spoonful of some sort of tonic. Just like in Mary Poppins! Lucy and Stephanie end up in the bottom two. The judges say that Stephanie's commercial was like an advert for antidepressants. They are sympathetic to her plight, but she really let herself down. Jonathan thinks Lucy hasn't taken the judges' criticism seriously, and needs to start listening more. In any case, neither of the girls gets eliminated because Anne left. Hooray? Actually, hooray, because I like both Stephanie and Lucy. , the girls meet top designer Maria Grachvogel, who apparently dresses Jodie Kidd, Angelina Jolie, and Yasmin Le Bon. Ooooh! It's kind of like a go-see. The girls each put on an outfit and walk. Hayley sucks. She trips, and Naomi and Edwina snicker. Bitchy! The girls then go on an actual catwalk, and Hayley walks like a linebacker. Edwina, on the other hand, does really well, and has the skill of making clothes not look like they're too big on her. Accomplished! Maria says that the winner of this challenge and a friend will get a champagne and spa treat at Harrod's Spa. Edwina wins, and of course picks Naomi to share the reward. The rest of the girls have to work that evening -- replacing the mannequins in Harrod's windows. Lisa tells us that these girls may have been the losers of the challenge, but that they got a surprise when they came face to face with Harrod's owner Mohammed Al Fayed. Oh my God, Princess Diana! Isn't that all you can think of when you hear the name "Al Fayed"? Back at the house, Lisa says, they "couldn't help gloating." Tashi comes in yelling, "We're the winners! We're the winners!" They also got to have tea with Mr. Al Fayed. Stephanie says that she didn't think Naomi and Edwina liked it one little bit. She starts to say that it's a shame, and then kind of hems and haws before finally saying, "We were bitches, really." I love Stephanie! Edwina and Naomi sulk in the confessional. , the girls go to Old Bond Street for a photo shoot in a top London store. Jonathan Phang runs this challenge, which is held at DKNY. Jenilee is having a hard time getting her pose and expression right, and freaks out. She says that she doesn't think she impressed anybody. She says, in the voice of a sad, crying street urchin slash orphan from a Dickens novel, "I thought this is [sniff] my last [sniff] chances to prove to the judges that I could [sniff] I could [sniff] be a mo-del." Awwww. Lucy also complains about Marisa's attitude. I guess Marisa claimed that the photo shoot was boring and that she thought they'd be doing something more exciting and extravagant. Marisa interviews that she's excited, but has done this sort of thing before, and worries that it's going to be used against her. Marisa is pretty annoying. Tensions at the house come to a head that evening, as Lucy and Stephanie confront Marisa about being kind of a jerk and putting down everything they're doing. Marisa says that it would be one thing if she were doing really well in the competition, but she's not. Stephanie confessionalizes that they're all there trying to get a modeling agency to take them on, but Marisa's already been and done that. At the elimination, Jenilee is criticized for crying on the shoot. She stays pretty well composed and says that, after criticism at the last Panel, she was focusing more on her posture than her face, and didn't change her facial expressions enough. But then it was Marisa who couldn't hold it together. Photographer Ram Shergill tells Marisa that she comes off quite moody. She starts crying, and he tells her not to get upset. She says that the experience has been quite "mental" for her, and that she's been breaking down. So she's sent home. Yay! She tells us that it was time for her to go because she didn't want to be there. She's looking forward to going home, reading a newspaper, and working on her mind again, because she's feeling a bit dried-up mentally. "I want to go home and read a newspaper"? Seriously? Good riddance, then. It is then time for the girls to be thrown into the tough world of haute couture. In Paris! Where real fashion takes place! And the best part is, the girls take the train to Paris. There is no "Pack your bags, y'all" speech, at least that we see. The girls have a go-see with a French designer, and Tashi is up front right away. She tells us, "I went into the back room to get changed. I basically had to strip naked, lift my arms up, no bra, my bops are there. He's kind of smaller than I were [sic], and he's literally right in between my breasts. And I just have this image of me slapping him with me boobs, just going through my head." I mean, that just kind of makes it a whole different show, right? Edwina, meanwhile, takes the designers' criticism as a compliment. She says they told her that her walk was kind of '80s and Naomi Campbell-ish. But she didn't mind, because if it's good enough for Naomi Campbell, it's good enough for her. How awesome would it be if Naomi Campbell hosted this show? The girls then meet Hilary in Camden Market, where she sends them for a style test. They each have twenty minutes to run out and find something fabulous. We see them scrounging through racks and hurriedly buying things. I don't know if Camden Market is like a flea market or what. When they return, Hilary tells Tashi that she kind of looks like a Barbie, which isn't her style. Tashi laughs. Lucy's high heels with her patchwork skirt are a total style crime. Naomi and Stephanie win the challenge, and are rewarded with a dinner out with some surprise guests -- THEIR BOYFRIENDS. HA! Oooh, I'm so sure Naomi won this competition fair and square, and not out of any need for manufactured drama. As it turns out, Steph has to face up to some relationship problems. Her boyfriend says that every couple goes through bad patches, and she replies, "This is, like, rock bottom." Oooh, that sounds bad. And Naomi, of course, has some explaining to do. Her boyfriend, Matt, tells her to be straight up and honest. She says that she is being honest. We see her dancing with and hugging Paul Danan. D'oh! When they leave, Stephanie and her boyfriend share a chaste kiss as Naomi and Matt snog a bit, ending with him telling her to be good. The girls have a surprise visit to Models 1, the agency that will represent the winner, where they do their best to impress director Karen Diamond. Lucy tells Karen that she's ready for anything, and would live anywhere and do anything because she's so passionate about modeling. Karen tells Edwina that the afro she's currently rocking is very in for editorial shoots. However, all of the comments about her figure finally take a toll on Tashi. Karen tells her that she has big boobs, which is an issue for high fashion. If she wants to do "glamour modeling" -- which I'm guessing is Maxim-type stuff -- they'd be a huge asset. However, Tashi wants to do high fashion. Afterward, Tashi complains that she already knows she could be the fucking Jordan, because there aren't many black girls in glamour at all. Oooh, the Jordan. Who wouldn't want to do that? Lisa Mail! There is a surprise elimination, at which Naomi's short ass is sent home. Wow, that was fast. I guess once the snogging-Paul-Danan (THE Paul Danan!) subplot played itself out, there wasn't much use wasting time on her. , the girls step up their game in a photo shoot for top Italian fashion designer Stefano Guerriero. Lucy wears a gorgeous diaphanous gown as she poses, and says that she wishes this were her real life and real job and that she was there getting paid and whatnot. Tashi interviews that seeing Lucy put the pressure on, because she looked so good. Tashi wants to look better. Tashi poses on a couch, and the camera guy seems to give her some praise. Again, the dress is gorgeous. Edwina says that she had the toughest shoot, because trams were passing and almost knocking her over, and she had a madman in the background. Indeed, there is a schlubby shirtless guy with a pixilated face making all sorts of gestures at her. It's kind of awesome. Tashi interviews that she was happy the guy was giving her a hard time, because it gave Edwina the message that she's not a superstar and not a diva; she's just pulling out all the drunkards. Jenilee actually looks pretty good, and says she thinks she took the photographer's direction well. At first, she wasn't relaxed, but eventually she got more into character. We see the photographs of the final four girls. They all look pretty good. At elimination, emotions run high for Edwina. She weeps and says that she didn't think she could get that far. Well, that makes at least two of us. However, it is Tashi who has the weakest photo, and she's eliminated but quick. This leaves, of course, Jenilee, Lucy, and Edwina in the final three. Commercials. When we return, we are still in lovely Milan. The final three enjoy dinner with Lisa Butcher, who toasts them. Edwina says that she wants to win, because she wants to make her mom really proud. Her mom hasn't been proud of her as of yet, I guess, until she's been in this competition. That's kind of fucked up, actually. All parents of young kids should seriously watch a lot of reality shows and pick up clues on how to be decent and not have your child end up on Season 22 of Beauty And The Geek. Edwina says that it's the best feeling, having her mother proud of her. Being in the final three means a lot to her, and she will never forget the experience. Jenilee tells Lisa that the girls have all gotten used to each other and have been through a lot of highs and lows together. Including the time Jenilee snogged Paul Danan's ass off during the acting challenge. Oh, good times. Jenilee says that every now and again she pinches herself, because she can't believe in the final three. She can't believe she's beaten thousands of girls, and can't express how happy she is. Unless she's rolling around on the floor eating an ice cream bar. I wish we had gotten to see that full challenge, man. Lisa says that the girls have achieved so much. Lucy can't believe they're down to the final three. She thinks that secretly everybody wants to win and is out for herself, because at the end of the day, everybody wants to be a winner. And really, it isn't at all about how you play the game. The girls travel to a huge mansion, where they meet with their photographer from the other day, whose name is Luca. He has two surprises. One, the girls are not going to be alone in their shoot today. Ooh la la! Boys! Edwina is "a bit of a flirt," so she got all excited. Lucy tells us that she thought the male models were Italian, but that it was a nice surprise to discover that they were English. The second surprise is that...they are going to be butt naked! Or, rather, arse naked! Yeah! Good times. Lucy says that she was mortified, because it's quite embarrassing to be naked with a stranger. It is? Oh, I guess when other people are around. Well, I mean, still. Sounds okay to me. The girls get their hair and makeup done. And then, it's time to get all nudie patootie on a chaise longue in the middle of the courtyard with some dudes. Edwina is psyched. She says that she's been with the girls for so long, and that it was really refreshing to have some male company. I think she means naked male company, specifically. Male model Chris, who sounds American, says that Edwina did a great job and made him feel very comfortable. At first she seemed nervous, he says, but once they started talking, the "comfortability" settled in. The ladies don't like Chris for his brain, and that's okay. We all have our strengths. there is Jenilee, who comes bounding out to the set in her underwear while holding her naked ta tas. She says that this shoot was very important, and that she had to make sure she had the best shot. The best shot apparently entails getting up really close and personal naked chest to naked chest with her male model. She says that she had to forget about the fact that she had a boyfriend and was in the nude, and just concentrate on being the best. She adds that she's only ever posed with a frog before, so it was nice to pose with a male model and share "that experience." Lucy says that Jenilee didn't look nervous, but also didn't look quite as comfortable as Edwina did. Lucy conjectures that this is because Jenilee was a bit nervous about her body. Martin, Jenilee's male model -- who also sounds American or Canadian -- says that, as far as his own personal taste goes, Jenilee was the most attractive girl. Well, she's the only one whose knockers you got to see up close and personal, so that probably gave her some bonus points. Photographer Luca says that Jenilee was a bit impatient, and that he could see in her eyes that she really wanted to do it. At the end, she was good. Lucy says that she spoke with Duncan, the model she had to pose with, before the shoot, and that he was very nice and down to earth. She also thought he was the best-looking of the three, so she was glad that she got him all to herself. We see Lucy strip down in slow-motion. Ha! That is porny slash awesome. She says that it was a bit weird, and that she didn't know where to put her arms or stand, but eventually she got used to it. She looks a little like Brigitte Bardot. Duncan, who is actually British, says that Lucy was fantastic, and that shooting with her was great fun. He imagines that there are a ton of guys out there who would want to be in his position. And not only guys. Just think of how jealous the frog who had her first is. Lucy says she noticed that, while she was posing, Edwina and Jenilee were off talking to the guys. She's all, "Thanks for the support, bitches." But in a nice way. She thinks that Jenilee felt bad about it, but I'm not so sure. Jenilee says that she didn't want to put Lucy off, but thought that she looked beautiful as always. And then, it's time for another elimination, for naming the final two. Jenilee says that she's proud of herself for getting to the final three, but will be disappointed if it all ends here. Jenilee and disappointment are going to get to know each other very intimately. Lucy says that she doesn't really want to compete with Jenilee in the final two because they're friends. Edwina says she'll be praying that she's in the final two because it means a lot to her and it's her time to shine. I wish Edwina had kept some of her bitch edge. This is getting a little dull. And then, there is Panel. Lisa tells the girls that she's sure they've all missed Marie, but now she's back with a vengeance. Marie was gone? No doubt getting her skull tightened or telling all the folks at the institution how she could have had Ted Danson or something. Jonathan is also there. The individual evaluations begin. These, by the way, do not appear to be done in front of the whole group. Interesting. Lisa asks Edwina what she thought of getting all naked with a dude. Edwina's like, "Old hat." The photo of Edwina gets praise from the judges, who then ask her what she thinks. Edwina says that she likes it, which gets a "That's it?" from Lisa. Marie tells her that it's the best picture she's taken so far. The angle of her face is flattering, her bone structure is amazing, her nose looks fabulous, and Lisa gives her a ten out of ten. "Your nose looks fabulous" is high praise, I guess. Lucy says that having a male model in the shoot helped her out, because she could feel the intensity in the midst of their very beautiful surroundings. It made her feel she was in the moment. Lucy's shot is amazing. Both Lisa and Marie say that it's one of her best pictures. Marie adds that it's good to see she can do a look that is very strong and very sexy. Jenilee is loving being in the final three, and feels very proud and like she has accomplished so much. Marie thinks her photo is fantastic. Jenilee says that the photo looks very strong and meaningful, like she's thinking about something. That's probably not a common look for Jenilee. Lisa asks what Jenilee was thinking about, and Jenilee says her boyfriend. She adds that she was "getting into character." Hmmm. Being very "professional," too, I'm sure. Jonathan says that she has had very good expression in her last two photos. This, of course, leads to a very difficult elimination. Lisa thinks that all of the photos are very strong, and that the girls have all come so far as models. Edwina's photo is amazing and strong. Marie is surprised, because she had her down as a catwalk model and not a photographic model. But now she thinks she might be able to do both. Jenilee's photo is beautiful, but Lisa doesn't see her doing very well on the catwalk. Jonathan says that her shot is like a typical beauty shot that you'd see on a counter in a department store. Is that a compliment? Marie likes the intelligence in her face. Lucy looks really pretty. Marie says that, with Lucy, it's almost like she isn't thinking. Jonathan says that she has an opportunity to give even more. Her photo is great, but it could be sensational. It's a tough decision! The girls stand in front of Lisa, who asks them all to step forward. Lucy, it should be noted, is about a head taller than the other two. Lisa says that Jenilee has come so far. She's listened, she's learned, and she has embraced every challenge. Edwina has had her ups and downs, but she kept her focus and delivered some great shots. That doesn't sound like that much praise. Lucy has drawn on the judges' criticism about expression, and her last shot blew them away. It did? They didn't make it sound like that at all! Even internationally, the judges are so cagey. Edwina gets called first. She's obviously very happy. And then Lucy gets called. Oh, poor Jenilee! Back to Mouseville, or Mouseshire, for her. She cries and packs and says that she does feel disappointed that she hasn't gone through to the final two, but that she knows she'll make it. She's going to carry on modeling because it's what she wants to do and what she believes in. Hey, for some people it's world peace and for some people it's saving the tigers and for some people it's having their naked, powdered arses seen by the world. Jenilee feels like she's found herself. She knows who she is, and that's who she wants to be for the rest of her life. Well, that's a lucky coincidence, I guess. Bye, Jenilee! Edwina says that everybody was very sad when Jenilee got eliminated, but that it really hit home when she left the room and Lucy broke down. Edwina felt very sad for both Lucy and Jenilee, because they were friends. That's no way to be a bitch! Lucy interviews that it's her and Edwina in the final two, and in some ways, she's glad. She and Jenilee were friends, and each wanted the other to win. Now that it's Edwina, it can just be war. Woo! That's what I like to hear. The girls get Lisa Mail at a restaurant. They get a day to explore Milan. Oh, that's nice! They do a little shopping and sightsee and generally unwind. They give a coin to a man playing the accordion. No, seriously. Lucy says that they're both getting along, and focusing on what they need to do to win the competition. At some point during the day, Edwina says, they got a chance to have their portraits done by "this amazing artist." It's one of those guys on the street who has, like, sketches of Audrey Hepburn and Elvis. They pose for the guy, and the finished product is pretty much as you'd expect, and looks nothing like either of them. It's like when you get your portrait sketched by that machine at the movie theater. Lucy says that Edwina looked terrible, and like a seven-year-old boy, and if that's what people think she looks like, then Lucy's going to assume the prize is safely in her hands. I love Lucy! Okay, I've been dying to say that all recap. The girls then commune with Italy's famous pigeons. Or, at least, Lucy does. Edwina says that she absolutely hates pigeon, whereas Lucy is all, "Tuppence a bag!" and feeding the birds out of her hand. Lucy thinks Edwina has been a little on-edge since the pigeon escapade, and hopes that it might throw her off her game a bit. She should hire a homing pigeon to deliver an anonymous death threat to Edwina in the middle of the night. That would really shake things up, wouldn't it? And suddenly, we are where the fashion is! Lucy and Edwina meet Lisa, who asks them what they've been up to. Edwina recalls, in horror, their experience with the pigeons. Lisa says that there's one place they haven't been to, and that she's going to take them there. The dungeon! No, actually, it's the Armani store. Yes, that's right. Armani. The girls look through the clothes as Lisa tells them that the thing about Armani is that the fabrics are beautiful. There is an outfit for each of the girls. They change, and Lisa tells them that they look fantastic before asking them to do a little catwalk for her. They do. I have to confess that, Armani or not, the clothes are kind of ugly. Nevertheless, Lisa tells the girls to imagine that the winner of the show would be wearing things like this. It really makes you want to move to England and fill out your application, doesn't it? In any case, the girls don't have to imagine such wonders anymore, because tomorrow they're going to be modeling Armani's Spring/Summer collection for their final test. That's right. No fucking ghost brides. Armani. That's kind of bad-ass. Lisa tells the girls to step it up, because the competition is on. Woot! Back at their apartment, the girls discuss how hard they've worked to get to this point. Edwina says that they're obviously good enough for the show, and that's why they're still there, so they should rock it. Lucy interviews that this last challenge is so important to her. The catwalk is Edwina's strength, so Lucy needs to find her confidence and her walk. I have to say that, seeing her practice in a long hallway, she looks a bit like a hunchback with a broken arm. But, I guess that could be considered fierce. Edwina says that she's going to pull out all the stops to make sure her walk's on key. There's no time and no room for errors, and she deserves to be the #1 person there. OR DOES SHE? She bids Lucy good night and good luck as she goes to bed. The day, the girls get made up. They look pretty, and not at all like ghost brides. Lucy says that, since being in the competition, she feels like she belongs somewhere and that she's where she wants to be, so she doesn't want it to stop now. Edwina says that dreams do come true: she's dreamt about this moment, and now she's here. It's the best feeling ever because she feels proud of her achievements, and is proud that she's overcome the hard times in the house and is still there. There are outfits. There are models. There are seats lined up on either side of the runway. All of the folks the girls have met during the entire competition will be there. See, that actually makes sense. It's no big fake-ass runway show with homeless onlookers (or staff) who have been paid five dollars apiece to stand around and pretend to care. Edwina says that she can't wait for the catwalk, and that she's going to be top dog. Is that a desirable thing on the catwalk? Hmmm. Lucy's going to be focusing on making the clothes look amazing, and not thinking about what Edwina's doing, because that will put her off. The guests file in. Lisa Butcher looks pretty awesome. Edwina and Lucy are all atwitter backstage. A dude walks out and welcomes the crowd to the showing of the Armani Spring/Summer 2005 collection. And then the show begins! There is inoffensive techno music playing in the background. Edwina heads out and looks pretty good. Backstage, she says that she didn't pose at the end. Then it's Lucy's turn. She still looks like a hunchback with a broken arm, but a sexy hunchback with a broken arm. Lucy and Edwina get dressed in their outfits, and Edwina heads out. There are other models, then Lucy. A naked Edwina says that she keeps forgetting to pose at the end. That's, like, the one thing you have to do. How hard can it be, dumb-ass? More walking, etc. etc. Actually, this is a little bit boring. Maybe I miss the ghost brides after all. The show ends, and there is much clapping Lisa says that she's so proud of Edwina and Lucy, and thought that they shone even more than the other girls. She couldn't believe it, and got a little bit emotional watching them, because they were brilliant. Jonathan says that he was sitting to a few agents, and that they couldn't tell who was in the competition and who wasn't, which was a testament to the contestants' performances. Marie pretends not to be a waxwork, and agrees with him. Edwina prattles on some more about forgetting to pose at the end. Lucy says that she doesn't care if she did as well as Edwina; she loved it and would do it again and again and again. And with that, we get commercials and the promise of learning who the winner is. Woo! Lisa Mail. Someone's going to win! Someone's dreams will be crushed! All is as it should be. Lucy says that she has to beat Edwina not only for herself, but for all the other girls in the house who have had arguments or confrontations with Edwina and who would want Lucy to win. Edwina does seem to be a bit of a pill. Edwina says to every single one of the girls who gave her a hard time -- and I quote -- "in your face. 'Cause look who's here now, and where are you?" Oooh, delightfully bitchy. It's been a roller coaster for Edwina, and she's glad to be there in the end. Lucy and Edwina pack and await news of their fates. Lucy's buttcrack is pixilated as she leaves the apartment. I wonder if they have to pixilated buttcracks when the show airs in England, too. I always thought England was more forward than we are in regard to buttcracks. And then...judging! Lisa asks the girls how they are feeling, and they're both pretty much speechless. Lucy says that it's good to be at the end, but that it's bad because that means it's all going to be over. She says that she was on top of the world during the catwalk, and really enjoyed it. Edwina, however, was annoyed with herself because she kept forgetting to pose at the end. Lisa tells her not to beat herself up too much, because it was her first show, and Jonathan adds that some of the biggest girls in the world make mistakes. The girls get to see footage of themselves on the runway. Edwina's walk is sexy, according to Marie, but Lisa says that she needs to work on her expression. Lucy's walk is great and confident, according to Marie, though Jonathan says that she's still not quite sure what to do with her arms. Lisa says that she's gotten a lot better, though. Both Edwina and Lucy have made the judges proud, but only one can be Britain's Top Model. The judges deliberate. Lucy has changed hugely in terms of self-confidence, and in her pictures. She was also unbelievable on the catwalk, and Marie says that she was better than the pros. Jonathan says that both she and Edwina blended in really well, but that it's going to take her a while to learn her own way of doing it. Marie says that she has her own kind of stamp already that can develop into a unique walk. Jonathan says that she looks slightly unconfident occasionally, though Marie thinks that she was going for a deliberately vulnerable look. Blah blah blah, etc. Lisa's boobs look great. Edwina looked beautiful, according to Jonathan, and Marie agrees, adding that she was very confident. Jonathan says that she has a great body for high fashion, and that the clothes fit her beautifully. Marie says that she didn't think Edwina could do photographic work, but that her recent pictures prove her wrong. Lisa says that both girls are fantastic, but only one can be Britain's Top Model. The girls stand before Lisa. When Lisa first met Lucy, she was a shy, unconfident young lady, unaware of her beauty. Which is, I'm sure, why she chose to enter a modeling competition. But Lucy has blossomed into the most gorgeous young lady. Edwina was young and inexperienced when Lisa first met her, but she's risen to every challenge and is every inch a model. The winner will receive an exclusive photo shoot with cosmetics retailer Ruby and Millie, a fashion spread in B Magazine, a contract with Models 1, and representation from the Beatrice agency in Milan. (I know that means nothing to any of us not in Britain, but I thought I'd give you the details anyway.) And the girl who is Britain's Top Model is...Lucy! Like you had any doubt. She jumps up and down and yells and is generally excited. No one gives a shit about Edwina anymore, and she's mad about it. She's feeling like a loser. That's because she is a loser! Ha! Whose face is it in now? She fades from the group photo, leaving Lucy victorious. Lucy says that everything you do and succeed at makes you a lot stronger, and makes you realize that you don't have to be afraid of everything. You can do anything. The show has changed her life. It's good because she can do what she wants now, and doesn't have to worry about problems or going away from home, because she's done it. It's made her a stronger individual. Wow, she is really completely inoffensive. Almost offensively so. Lisa says Lucy's proven that she has what it takes to make it in all aspects of modeling, and blah blah blah Tyracakes. I mean, I know the end got a little boring, but it's at least nice to have a different set of dumb-asses to mock, isn't it?