In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Lemon has the winter blues and decides TGS needs to go on a road trip. She suggests Miami, but Jack opts for Boston, since he's jonesing to visit Nancy Donovan. Things take a miserable turn for the cast and crew, who have to contend with bullying Bruin Beat writers. Meanwhile, Tracy sets about offending everyone possible, in this instance historical re-enactors-slash-tour guides. The relocation even makes Kenneth surly. The staffers revolt, so Lemon tries to turn their rage into a "Screw you, our show is awesome!" edition of TGS to stick it to Dale Snitterman, some cost-cutting middle executive that Lemon in fact made up. Except it all goes pear-shaped when Lemon realizes she didn't make up the name but in fact saw it in the building. The gang descends upon the Bostonian and expose him to a terrorizing rendition of the Truffle Shuffle, courtesy of Lutz.
Meanwhile, Nancy tells Jack that her husband has left to rebuild Brad Pitt's shoddy houses in New Orleans. She interprets this as a thinly veiled attempt on his part to force her to ask for a divorce. She tells Jack she'd go through with it if only she could sell her house and gets some money. Jack orchestrates his own thinly veiled conspiracy and sends Kenneth (with bangs on a different side!) and Cerie to make an offer with his money. The reality of potential independence scares Nancy to "La la la!"-ing with her hands over her ears. Jack finally coaxes the taciturn Bostonian to admit they have feelings for each other and get going on her divorce. Could there be a Valentine's wedding for Jack and Nancy?
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see who we think are the best and worst 30 Rock guest stars!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Lemon enters 30 Rock in a huff: "Ugh, I hate January! It's dark and freezing and everyone's wearing bulky coats. You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless." She's had only online Boggle to keep herself entertained. Likewise, the whole staff is cranky because of their SAD-ness. Jack gets a text from Nancy Donovan, who proves that even the Female Larry Byrd gets more play than Lemon. Lemon asks how things are going with Nancy. Jack says they're just friends, even though he has elaborate fantasies of her husband Mark dying in a boat explosion. He says they haven't discussed a possible divorce yet, since it's not really a text-message type of conversation. Lemon gets off on the show's floor and passes Kenneth who is, perhaps, 1% less chipper than usual. He stops just past her and apologizes for his gruff manor, says he's got "winter madness." Meanwhile in the writers' room, Lemon finds the staff in chaos after Lutz chose Subway for the staff lunch. Guess they're not fans of honey oat. Credits.
Jack's office. He gets an incoming call on his phone from Nancy. The sound appears to cut in and out, prompting Jack to slam Jonathan for not being a stereotypical tech-savvy Indian. Nancy says she's just screwing with Jack, so he pays her back by saying, "Oh, very funny Donova--" and freezing in place. She thinks the computer froze. Everyone has a good laugh. Except Jonathan, the berated minority, who is summarily dismissed. Nancy tells Jack she's coming down to New York in five months, but maybe he could come to Boston in the meanwhile. His only compelling reason is a Harvard B-School reunion that's the same weekend she's coming down to New York. Disheartened, Nancy says she has to go.
Downstairs, Pete tells Lemon he's got an idea to boost staff morale: Miami road trip! Lemon doesn't know if it's fiscally feasible, but is too tempted by the idea of getting her old lady on to pass it up. They take the proposal ("MIAMI = SYNERGY") up to Jack's office and strings together some corporate mumbo jumbo. He greenlights it immediately, not because he actually wants them to take the show on the road, but because he wants an excuse to visit Boston. He tells them to re-route the trip... to somewhere even more wintry than New York.
Downstairs, Lemon tries to get the group excited about their impending road trip, but once they learn it's not Miami, they're over it immediately. Frank objects to the bars closing at 2:00 a.m. Jenna doesn't like that it's even colder than New York. Toofer, on the other hand, relishes the chance to mention that he went to college near Boston (at Harvard). Pete bursts their bubble even further by telling them they'll have to cut costs by doubling up on rooms in the hotel and taking the bus there. He also warns the gentleman that there will be no on-demand films or internet in the hotel, so they should plan ahead porn-wise. Big groan from the nearly all-male staff.
The doubling-up is a particular bone of contention as Lutz asks Frank to be his bed buddy but is harshly rebuffed. Frank doesn't really take to the notion of rooming with Toofer either, but, let's be honest, isn't anything better than Lutz? Pete assumes that Grizz and Dot Com will room together, even though Tracy gets his own room, which unearths an ages-old subject of contention -- Grizz didn't read Dot Com's screenplay. Turns out he did, just didn't like it. Meanwhile, Jenna too is rejected when she asks Cerie to be her roomie. She stirs up trouble when she tries to turn Cerie against current roomie-to-be Sue. Don't mess with a vaguely Germanic comedy writer, Jenna. It will never turn out well for you.
Over in Lemon's office, Tracy expresses his own misgivings about going on the road. He has a long history of getting in trouble when faced with the angry drunks and new temptations of the road. When Lemon tells Tracy the location was Jack's idea, he instinctively goes off on Jack's Irish heritage, then quickly realizes Boston is not going to be auspicious for him. Commercials.
When we return, the gang is in Boston, and Kenneth is receiving the worst three-man noogie of his life. Those Bruins Beat writers are real hooligans. Kenneth escapes. Jonathan arrives, only to be pummeled by the three Seans. Lemon heads upstairs, where Jack has ease his transition to the new building by using an office replication service. Only seven items are different. They stand tabloid picture-still to let us determine them. I couldn't be bothered. Lemon is stressed that the show isn't going to come off this week. Jack tells her to rally the troops around a common enemy. She counters that this enemy is usually her, and she's sick of it. Jack tells her to redirect their anger. Perhaps to Lutz? Nobody likes that loser.
Nancy interrupts for an awkward do-we-kiss-or-shake-hands. One thing is certain, Lemon is not part of it. She's pleasantly surprised that Jack is in town and tells him to give her a tour of the building. Lemon tries to tag along, but Jack waves her off. Jack and Nancy head off. Lemon, at a loss for something to do, sits down and mopes until the head writer for Bruins Beat reveals he is a kindred spirit: "Tryin' to have it all -- it's wicked hahd!"
Downstairs, Nancy and Jack sit in the news anchors' chairs and play at being TV personalities. Jack's joke about making a cat's birthday "purr-fect" doesn't go over so well. Nancy bursts into tears. She says Mark left her for a job in New Orleans repairing the shoddy worksmanship of Brad Pitt and Sharon Stone, and she's taking it as a clear sign that he wants her to be the one to ask for divorce. She says their marriage is in shambles -- they've opened separate bank accounts and have had their house on the market for a year. She says they haven't talked about it, because that's not what uptight Irish Catholics do. She says she has to leave to get their home ready for an open house the day. Jack offers to help in any way he can.
Elsewhere, the gang is breaking for lunch. Lemon gives them an extra half hour and asks if anyone would like to join her for a tour of the Freedom Trail. Tracy supposes there's no way he can get in trouble there, so he says he'll go. Except when he gets on the tour, he takes issue with the fact that John Hancock [Played by comedian Kevin Meaney! - Zach] was a slave owner. Cue insane accusatory fireworks -- aimed at a re-enactor, no less -- that only Tracy could make happen.
Meanwhile, Jack does a fairly unimpressive job fixing Nancy's electric doorbell. Nancy says she'll just shove it off on the new owners. Jack encourages her that someone will surely buy it in the year or so. She says she can't wait that long, because she's waiting on the cash from the sale to start her new life (in which she sells cosmetics to redheads?). This gives Jack an idea...
Back at WBHD, the staffers are once again gnashing their teeth at Lutz for his stanky lunch choices (this particular gas station makes really good hot dogs, he assures them). Lemon tries to be a motivator, saying they're all in this together, but it just redirects their anger toward her. They start hating on her for everything from long hours (Frank) to Danny's refusal to hit on Jenna (Jenna) to Toofer being "the one black guy in New York who sucks" (Frank) to winter itself (Kenneth). Lemon objects to that last indictment. They have to blame someone, Frank says. So Lemon latches onto Jack's advice from earlier and finds someone to blame. And that someone is Dale Snitterman. She claims he's some middling executive that has made all the decisions that have negative affected the gang. These include cancelling Taco Night in the commissary, approving a cast photo where Jenna looked bad, and denying Kenneth his Pagely rights to wear shorts in the summer. Dale Snitterman is the enemy, says Lemon. Lemon brings out the crocodile tears and says that all they can do is put on the best damn show possible and not turn on each other... or her. The cast and crew get behind Lemon for maybe the first time ever. And I'm betting you she totally made that shit up.
Later, Lemon heads to Jack's replicated office to brag about her coup de Snitterman. As predicted, she made up Snitterman to get the cast off her back. She's as impressed with her name-making-up skills as Jack is with his. You see, he's hatched a plan to send Kenneth and Cerie over to Nancy's under assumed names (Silas and Mary Mt. Peppercorn) and have them put in an offer with his money. Jack turns his attention back to The Snitterman Identity. He smugly says he wishes he could in that marvelous brain of Lemon's to see where she comes up with her ideas. Then he opens the door saying, "Oh wait, I can." Just across the corridor from Jack's office is a placard reading Dale Snitterman. Blergh.
Back on the Freedom Trail, Tracy (in an "IMPEACH GEORGE W. ASHINGTON" T-shirt) is back to terrorize that "slave-owning time traveler" John Hancock. The re-enactor tells Tracy that John Hancock was a patriot. Tracy walks right into it, saying that patriots are overrated. He says this as a group of football jersey-wearing meatheads walk by. Patriot needles them some more by saying (the P)atriots suck. They pummel him. Just another day in a foreign city for Tracy!
Nancy's open house. Kenneth has gotten into character by parting his hair on a different side. He starts his spiel about how he and his wife are in the market for a home. Except he bungles the name, calling himself Silas Marymount Peppercorn. He is forced to make up a fake name for Cerie on the spot. He goes with Moronica. Then she says, in an American accent, that she's British. Kenneth continues on in his script, unnecessarily explaining the disparate level of attractiveness between himself and "Moronica." When Nancy starts the tour and mentions the partially finished basement, "Silas" jumps to make an offer. Yeah... cover effectively blown. Nancy looks on incredulously.
Back at the station, Frank runs into the writers' room to tell the gang that he's found Dale Snitterman's office. He agitates for them to go to Snitterman's office and show him who's boss. Left with no one to blame but herself, Lemon joins the angry mob. Instead of torches, they bring with them Lutz and his dread-inducing Truffle Shuffle. Seriously, he gets all up in that guy's face. Piling it on, Lemon screams that the staff has to work late tonight because of this poor, unsuspecting, innocent Snitterman.
That night, Nancy's at the studio with Jack. He pulls out a bottle of champagne in case someone's made an offer on the house. She says no one did, though a couple with a weird last name did come by. She says she's thinking about taking the house off the market for another year. Jack can't believe it and pushes for her to have one more open house so she can achieve her dream. The two of them go back and forth until Nancy spills that the money thing was just a ruse. In fact, she's scared of starting a new life at her age and being judged for getting a divorce. Jack finally admits out loud his feelings for her and insists they talk about things. She negotiates him down to four words each. His: "I'll wait... not forever." Hers: "I'll try... wicked hahd." They lock in an embrace.
Bonus: As Tracy drops some postcards in the mail, John Hancock smugly bring his "dear friend Crispus Attucks" to prove to Tracy that he did in fact have a black friend. Tracy skeptically asks when they met. Hancock stumbles, settling on a Sons of Liberty meeting in 1775. To the contrary, says Tracy, Crispus Attucks died in 1770. In yo' face, Hancock!
Give me liberty or give me jokes!
The Power Forward or the Kid from Glee? Both?
Jack [iPhone buzzes]: It's from Nancy. She said she's in line behind the Female Larry Byrd. Oh God, there's a photo!
Lemon: Come on! How is Female Larry Byrd holding hands with a guy? What am I doing wrong?
Jack takes picture of Lemon
Lemon: What is that for?
Jack: I'm telling Nancy that I'm with Female Kevin McHale.
Boston: Squirrel Icicle Impalement Capital of the World
Nancy: Well, I should go. I gotta scrape the icicles off the guttahs. I'm tired ah wakin' up to a pahch fulla dead squirrels.
Jack: God, I miss Boston!
Go South, Young Lemon, Go South
Pete: Liz, I have an idea -- something to boost staff morale.
Lemon: Pete, no. I listened t o you when you wanted to take the staff to that R-rated hypnotist, and that sucked.
Pete: It was pretty bad. Nutmeg!
Lemon stands up like a zombie and starts to pull up her shirt.
Pete: Aaaah, rodeo rodeo rodeo! [Lemon stops stripping and looks around in confusion.] Look, I think we can take the show to Miami for a week.
Lemon: What? Can we afford to do that?
Pete: If we do it on the cheap, double-up rooms. Think about it, Liz. Florida! I can rent a convertible. You can complain about the heat with elderly people!
Lemon: I can sell this to Jack. [Cut to Jack's office. Pete holds a sign that reads "MIAMI = SYNERGY."] Cross-promotional... deal mechanics... revenue streams... jargon... synergy!
Jack: That's the best presentation I've ever seen. Get started right away! One little thing -- instead of Miami, make it Boston.
Pete: But, uh... I bought a parrot shirt.
The Hahd Sell
Lemon: Exciting news, guys. This week, TGS is going on the roooooooad!
Danny: There's a rumor that it's Miami. Is it Miami?
Lemon: Close. It is a city with an NBA team. And even though Will Smith never wrote a rap about it, the poet Robert Lowell lived there!
Look It Up, Vondrukes
Jenna: Hey, Cerie. I thought you and I could be roommates: Go out, meet guys, share clothes like twinsies! What size are you?
Cerie: Usually designers just make clothes for me. But when I do buy stuff, I'm a Child's Medium.
Jenna: Well I only wear designer labels. [Turns around to show off her jeans.] These are Jamie Foxx for Ass Farm.
Cerie: But I can't room with you. Sue and I already talked about it.
Jenna: Why? You know Sue says stuff behind your back.
Cerie: She always says stuff to me about you.
Jenna: Wait, what? I was making my thing up. [Turns around to see Sue.] You bitch!
Sue: What did you tell her, you vondruke!
This Week's Blink-And-You-Missed-It: A Joke Not About NBC
Jack: So, how's the show looking for Friday?
Lemon: Like it may not happen, actually.
Jack: Well that will really disappoint your key demographic of drunken 11-year-olds.
Lemon: Look, I know for you this is all just a way to meet married ladies, but it is my job.
Jack: Let me give you some advice on uniting a divided people. Find a common enemy.
Lemon: A common enemy?
Jack: For example, what keeps people polite on airplanes? A shared hatred of the CBS sitcoms they're forced to watch.
Kenneth Does Bitchy. Me Likes.
Pete: Okay, that's lunch. We're back in at three.
Lemon: No, 3:30. Enjoy the town, everyone! You're welcome. Now who would like to join me on a morale-boosting tour of Boston's historic Freedom Trail?
Kenneth: Oooooh, I would...n't!
"A Treatise Both For & Against Revisionist History" by Tracy Jordan
Tracy: Now what am I supposed to do? I got free time in a strange city.
Lemon: Why don't you come on the Freedom Trail with me? It's an educational walking tour.
Tracy: Purrrrr-fect, like a cat birthday! How could I possibly get in trouble on a walking tour?
Pete: Smash cut to... [Lemon and Tracy on the tour.]
John Hancock: And I, John Hancock, with one stroke of my pen, set all Americans free!
Tracy: You lyin' white devil! The only people you set free were rich, white dudes like yourself!
John Hancock: I think my good friend -- and supervisor -- Paul Revere can address that.
Paul Revere: I'm out, Kenny.
Lemon: Okay, I think we're gonna go--
Tracy: No! Most dudes that signed that Declaration of Independence owned slaves. What about you, John Hancock?
John Hancock: Well, technically I just inherited my slaves.
Tracy: I knew it! For a dude that has the most hilarious last name I ever heard, you blow! We didn't land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on Mars!
Lesbian Yellow Sour Fruit Strikes Again
Lemon: You wanted to see the world's greatest manager?
Jack: Is Kiyoshi Kawashima of Honda here?
Lemon: No, it's me. I'm a genius. I made up a fake NBC executive and blamed everything that has ever gone wrong on him.
Jack: The imaginary enemy-- classic move, Lemon. The Salem Witch Trials, the Red Scare, Global Warming...
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see who we think are the best and worst 30 Rock guest stars!