By Michael Neal
Larry King Live can be a very peculiar show, but most people are either too old, or too half-asleep on the couch, to notice how peculiar. They don't notice it when a former White House Press Secretary is having an argument with Joy Behar and Dean Cain about the progressive tax system; or when Sheryl Crowe and Michael Steele are debating whether or not we need an active federal government. Larry King has that habit. He invites on celebrities to talk about things they have no real qualification to speak on: "Why is the guy from Desperate Housewives talking about the alternative minimum tax?" for instance. That's the premise of this episode. Tracy makes an appearance on Larry King to promote TGS, but when Larry King gets breaking news about turmoil in the Asian stock market, Tracy takes the opportunity to spit out half-brained opinions about the stock market that throws New York into a panic.
Perhaps the biggest panic comes from 30 Rock, where the writing staff hears Tracy admit during his interview that he has stashed large sums of money in discreet hiding places at work. Frank, Toofer, Lutz and Hornberger tear the place apart, looking for the cash. Hornberger even calls the show to try and coax Tracy into telling them the hiding place, but Tracy gives his answer as a riddle. "The place I picked is very dry and warm. Its top is hard, but its bottom is soft, and although the location changes every time, the money stays in the same place."
Meanwhile, Lemon is forced to venture out to a shady area of Queens with Kenneth to retrieve her lost cell phone from an extortionist cab driver. When they get to Queens, people are in a panic because of the financial turmoil and Tracy's insane predictions on the television. So much so that Kenneth wants to go back to 30 Rock where it's safe. He doesn't understand why Lemon is so determined to get her phone back. It's because on the phone is an "adult" picture, taken by Dr. Baird, and the cabbie is threatening to forward it to all of her friends unless she pays him a ransom of $2,000. Lemon and Kenneth show up without the money, but when Kenneth hears Tracy's riddle on the TV at the taxicab garage, he solves the riddle. It's him; he's the hiding place. Kenneth checks his hair, his back pockets, and then the inside lining of his page jacket, and contained within are rows of taped-together money. Kenneth pulls out $2,000 and hands it over to the cab driver in return for Lemon's phone.
Jack and Elisa's relationship hits a crossroads when Jack asks her to stay in New York rather than go to see her family in Puerto Rico. She agrees to stay, but only if he spends the entire week with her. She wants to know that Jack is fully committed to their relationship. It seems that she still has her doubts, no more evident than by the fact that they haven't had sex yet. Jack proves his commitment when he clears his schedule and takes the week off of work to spend time with Elisa. It begins well, but when Tracy's frantic warnings on The Larry King Live Show help to drive down stock prices, Jack is interrupted by one of GE's executives. In fact, they barge into Elisa's apartment looking for him. The company's stock price is tumbling in the wake of the financial calamity, and Don Geiss is nowhere to be found. Jack is forced to make a choice between Elisa and his job, and he chooses the job. He huddles with the rest of the top brass back at 30 Rock to watch a tape, made by Don Geiss in 1987, in case of an economic meltdown. "My message is timeless," he tells them. "Avoid the Noid." He also tells them that the only thing they can do is to be with their loved ones and hold them close. Jack takes the message to heart. He rushes to Elisa, who just happens to be sitting on the curb trying to catch a bus to the airport. Jack asks her to marry him and she accepts, but the following day, after the panic has subsided, Elisa sends Jack a VHS tape of her own. She tells Jack that she's decided to go to Puerto Rico and spend time with her family, and that his proposal, while appreciated, might have been the result of last night's financial panic. She wants them to both think it over. Jack's face reads sad. Are these crazy kids ever going to find true love?
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