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Okay, this one was a little weird. An entire episode was devoted to Jennifer Aniston and Night Court. That's not to say I didn't used to love Night Court, because I did, but what's a reunion without Bull or Roz? I know. Let's bring back the cast of Empty Nest minus David Leisure. See? Doesn't work either. As for Friend Aniston, she's always been a comedic hot girl. She hit every line perfect and looked crazy good doing it (take that Brad) but, I don't know, she also kind of swallowed the entire episode whole. The threads to this story didn't seem to cleverly intertwine like they mostly always do. Bam! Kenneth and Tracy bring back Night Court and Pow! Lemon and Jenna's crazy pal Aniston fucks with Jack's head. The end. You know what I mean? Here's what happened.
Kenneth is rightly pissed off at having to wear the new NBC page uniform. The jackets are gray now instead of navy blue. Tracy understands his loss by uttering the line of the night. “Is there nothing sacred? Just makes me wanna pee on someone," but Kenneth is inconsolable. The only thing that could cheer him up would be a sunset or a satisfying finale to the hit NBC television series Night Court. [Factoid: Night Court was to be canceled in 1991 and a series finale had been planned that would have married off the lead characters Harry (Harry Anderson) and Christine (Markie Post) but NBC gave them a reprieve, renewing them for another year. That was one year too many. Instead 1992 was the show's last season and this time, in the series finale Harry stayed put as a judge, Christine got elected to Congress, Mac enrolled in film school, and Bull was abducted by aliens from Jupiter. Anyway that's the most inside baseball setup I can remember for a major network sitcom.] Tracy and Kenneth spend the entire rest of the episode filming a new finale of the show with help from special guest stars Harry Anderson, Markie Post, and Charlie Robinson who played the court clerk Mac. Kenneth writes a script that ends with Harry and Christine getting married. Lemon doesn't understand the whole thing but no one else listens or cares.
The other thread is about Claire Harper (Jennifer Aniston) a friend of Lemon and Jenna's from their days in Chicago. Claire is a party animal who puts out a lot. When she's not beheading men with her sexuality you can find her at da club or the after-after-after party. She rips into town and Jenna and Lemon want nothing to do with her. They can't keep up with her but it turns out they won't have to. Claire sets her sights on an eager Jack. They have sex within five minutes of meeting each other and despite numerous protests from Lemon who attempts to explain to Jack exactly how crazy Claire is, he keeps having sex with her. Things begin to take an awkward turn when Claire sneaks into a dinner gala devoted to an Asian energy entrepreneur and emergent reality dating star (named “Meeow"), and sings “Happy Birthday" to a stunned Jack. Jack gets so far deep with Claire he finds himself waiting in line with her at a Manhattan nightclub wearing a hat that should be on Mystery's head. As they stand in line Claire steals a cop's gun, gives it to Jack and then yells "Jack's got a gun." She's crazy. Lemon has to bail him out of night court (wink). The end.
Would you want to work at TGS? We weight the pros and cons. Come back on Monday for our full weecap.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!There's something different about Kenneth. I can't quite pin it -- his hair's about the same, his skin is as pale as it ought to be... What's with that jacket? Kenneth stops Lemon in the hallway to complain about the new NBC page uniforms. The jackets are gray instead of navy blue, and he wants Lemon to have it switched back. She insists she doesn't have that kind of authority, and Kenneth storms off in a huff. Lemon finds Jenna to tell her about a visit from their mutual friend Claire Harper from Chicago, better known as "fun crazy Claire." They reminisce on her wild antics like dancing in an open fire hydrant, karaoke in Boystown and crashing Polish weddings, but then they admit to one another that her antics were exhausting -- too exhausting to go through with again. Neither one plans on spending any more time with Claire as they approach the elevator banks for her imminent arrival. Jack stands before them. "Up or down, ladies?" "Neither," says Lemon. "We're waiting for our old roommate. She's like a human Macarena. Something that everyone did at parties in 1996." "Meow," adds Jack. Lemon agrees it was a harsh thing to say but Jack corrects her. "No-no, Mi Yow," he says, indicating an Asian woman standing behind them. "She owns the largest alternative energy company in Asia." As part of the NBC Green initiative they're doing a reality show about her quest to find a boyfriend. Bachelor #1"? Claire steps off the elevator. She greets Lemon and Jenna with a girlie scream and then the three all scream as one. Lemon introduces Claire to Jack and they both seem intrigued.
Kenneth neatly folds away his old page uniform with military precision. He salutes the process as Tracy walks by. "What's wrong Ken? You got wife eyes." [Is Tracy's wife always this sad? - Zach] Kenneth is still grieving the loss of the traditional page uniform, but now realizes he'll just have to deal with the change. Tracy is bummed out that Kenneth's so bummed out. "What can I buy you to make you happy?" The answer from Kenneth is nothing. Money can't buy a sunset or a child's smile or a satisfying finale to the hit NBC television series Night Court. Tracy expresses something I believe we all said in the late '80s. "Court? At night? I'm already laughing." Night Court requires no further explanation, or if it does you'll have a very hard time. Night Court was to be canceled in 1991 and a series finale had been planned that would have married off the lead characters Harry (Harry Anderson) and Christine (Markie Post) but NBC gave them a reprieve, renewing them for another year. That was one year too many. Instead 1992 was the show's last season, and this time in the series finale Harry stayed put as a judge, Christine got elected to Congress, Mac enrolled in film school, and Bull was abducted by aliens from Jupiter. Anyway that's the most inside baseball setup I can remember for a major network sitcom. Kenneth wants closure to those characters, and Tracy wants to help.
Jack tells Lemon in his office that he has a thing for her friend Claire, and Lemon tries to warn him off of her. She's "crazy puddy" and by puddy she means pussy (I think). Only it's too late. Claire walks out of the private bathroom while putting her outfit back on. Ten minutes past the meeting at the elevator and Jack and Claire have already bumped uglies. "Hey Liz. Jack was just giving me directions, uh... to the F train." Lemon backs out of their planned night out and Claire seems oblivious as she walks out. Lemon accosts Jack. "What were you thinking?" Lemon has seen what Claire can do to men, powerful men even. She witnessed Claire take down Scottie Pippen, the drummer for The Bodines, and someone else's boyfriend who ran a small but prestigious clowning academy. "She's crazy. Like 'grab a cop's gun' crazy." Jack tells her it sounds like sour grapes. He's hooking up with Claire no matter what.
Tracy leads a blindfolded Kenneth to the set, and then unfolds him. "Some of the cast of Night Court!" Harry Anderson, Markie Post and Charlie Robinson, to be exact, who played Judge Harry, Christine and Mac, respectively. Harry chimes in first. "This is the sick kid you were telling us about?" Markie Post gives him a racecar, and Kenneth announces that it's the greatest day of his life. First he found a quarter this morning and now -- "Um, I lost a quarter earlier" says Mac reaching for it to be replaced by Kenneth. He may have been rusty, but Mac's still got the timing down.
Jack announces a toast in honor of Mi Yow at the black tie fundraiser for her. After his toast Claire appears in front of a microphone and sings a very Marilyn Monroe happy birthday to Jack while wearing one of her custom hats and a dress painted on using rulers. Jack freaks. He pulls her aside and wants to know how she got in. It's not even his birthday. Jack asks her to leave and Claire makes a scene. "If I kill myself it is all your fault." The crowd gasps. Jack laughs and then snaps-snaps at the band to make with the music. Make with the commercial break.
Jack tells Lemon that she was right about Claire, but then admits to having had sex with her again. "It was quick and in the meat locker. That's okay, right?" Claire told Jack she loves him. He wants Lemon to tell him how to get out of this. "One guy died. Scottie Pippen requested a trade to Houston." I always thought he went to Houston because he hated Jerry Krause. I tell you what, there can't be enough Scottie Pippen jokes in this episode for me. Scottie Pippen's top 10 plays from 1996. Now back to our story. Claire is leaving in a day, so Lemon decides she'll spend a night out with her to save Jack from his own vices.
Tracy and Kenneth hand out the shooting scripts for the new Night Court finale to the three players. Markie has on a wedding dress; Harry and Mac have on tuxedos. Kenneth thanks them for "finally giving America what it wants: a reunion of Friends... from Night Court. Markie thanks her once and present cast mates and laments that John Larroquette could not be here along with us all. Harry agrees, expressing the regret on John's behalf. "You two stay in touch?" snaps Markie. Soon, she and Harry are having it out over Emmy nominations, and they both storm off set.
Lemon finds Claire selling hats to Frank. She tries to make plans for tonight but Claire wants to get together with Jack. Lemon talks her out of it by detailing her Silk Stalking night out at a Chili's one evening. Claire decides she'll blow off Jack, and then Cerie recommends they go to a night club called Aquarium, where all the women stay in a glass room at the center of the dance floor and all the guys watch and feed them. Hate to get all Metromix on Cerie, but that sounds more like downtown Moscow than downtown Manhattan.
Tracy finds Harry in his dressing room, soaking his regret in a half-empty bottle. Tracy has really taken to the directorial role and talks with a perpetual neck hang and his glasses resting on the tip of his nose. He tells Harry to put away his past differences and serve a greater cause in the name of Kenneth. "They're trying to make him wear a coat that's different than his other coat." He reunites Harry and Markie in the hallway. They make up and agree to do the fake wedding and get the money they're owed. The people in the hallway clap approvingly but not at the TV Land reunion. Cerie just walked by in a skirt and high socks.
Lemon is looking good outside of Aquarium. She's waiting for Claire when Jenna finds her. "She texted me an hour ago. She said she was getting on the F train." A bulb flashes and she remembers the dirty double-entendre 'the F train' has come to mean between Claire and Jack. Follow? Let's put it this way, if Duke Ellington switched letters and sang "Take the F train" it would be a song about doing it with Claire. Sexually. Lemon calls Jack. "She's in your house." Jack turns around to find Claire in lingerie and an apron holding a tray of carb-based food. "You must think I'm out of my mind. Do you? You just looked away when I said that." She throws the food to the side grabs Jack and kisses him. "I know your lips will be honest."
Jenna busts onto the Night Court set telling tales of her 3-episode arc during the show as public defender Sparky Monroe the Werewolf lawyer -- man this show loves werewolves. [Who doesn't? - Z] Harry accuses Jenna of jumping the shark with her character. "You're the reason we didn't have a 10th season." Jenna is surprised that Kenneth didn't know she was a character on his favorite show. "I knew," he tells her demurely. Jenna makes a grand exit and a proclamation that "you haven't seen the last of Sparky Monroe."
Jack finds Lemon. He needs help. He's wearing one of Claire's Mystery hats. Lemon tells him to step up and end the relationship. They walk into Lemon's office and find Claire with her bare feet resting on the desk. "I'd like to suck that ring right off your toe," says Jack. Claire tells Lemon she knows the score -- that last night was all about keeping her away from Jack. She accuses Lemon of being her stalker and lists examples like Liz dating that clown guy after her. (Lemon: "I dated him before you, and he was the clowning Instructor.") Lemon tries to wipe her hands of the whole matter, but Claire puts her arms around the two of them and proposes a 3-way. "No," yells Jack, although he seems unsure for a second there. Lemon holds a perplexed look. Claire drags Jack away... for good?
Jenna complains to Lemon about not being included in the Night Court reunion, and Lemon has no idea what she's talking about. She walks over to the set, where Harry, Mac and Christine are filming a scene. Lemon tells Tracy "you are breaking union rules, our insurance doesn't cover any of this, and you are potentially infringing on Warner Bros. intellectual property. Shut this down." "I want a different answer," barks Tracy and I realize why his face and demeanor in those glasses have been so familiar to me all episode. He's doing a subtle Whoopi Goldberg. Honey child, I swear he is. Review the tape. Lemon commands them to shut down production, but Kenneth has something to say. He ignores Lemon and thanks everyone involved for caring too much. "If there is a law against friendship, then lock me up, but if there isn't then the show must go onward." Tracy yells out in victory, congratulating Kenneth for changing Lemon's mind, even though it didn't change her mind. She still thinks the whole thing is crazy but is powerless to stop the tide of emotion as everyone shares a warm group hug. "Stop group hugging. Who does that?" yells Lemon and she bangs on the gavel. It's a call back to the end of last week's episode when Tracy and Jenna share a group hug and Jack tells them to stop.
Jack and Claire wait in line outside of Aquarium or some other like-minded club. Jack has a glow stick and his silly hat on. He's excited to go in but Claire seems anxious. Suddenly, with no Liz to kick around and torment, the relationship with Jack has hit a boring patch. She feels like part of an old married couple. She wants to do something exciting. Jack agrees, anything to put his hands down her pants. She puts a gun in her hand -- a cop's gun (callback!) -- then yells out to the police. Jack drops the gun and takes off fleeing from the cops.
Back on the Night Court set, Harry and Markie labor through their dialogue to wrap up the final scene of the special episode. Jenna as the were-lawyer even has a line at the end about it being a "full mooooooon" that, judging from Tracy's scissor motions, is getting cut from the show. Tracy even adds a line in the scene decreeing NBC to return to the old page uniforms. Kenneth charges his fist to the air. At a real night court, Lemon bails out Jack. "Real night court is not at all like the TV show. Remember that TV show?" That line roughly sums up the point of this episode. Remember Friends and remember Night Court? We do, but let's not forget about 30 Rock.
Rattle the drum cymbals, 'cause these, you people, are the jokes.
Well, not all the galleries.
Jack: "Welcome to New York. Let's see, we're using credit cards in cabs now, all the galleries have moved to Chelsea and we're off cupcakes and back to donuts."
There are all kinds of drug dealers, you know?
Claire: "The baggage handler told me about a storage unit party on the lower east side. Starts about midnight, sponsored by Mir Vodka and I think some drug dealer of some kind."
Line of the night year:
Tracy: "Is there nothing sacred? Have we lost our moral center? It just makes me wanna pee on someone."
Or a pelican without sailor's attire
Tracy: "I hate to see you like this, Ken-dog. It's like an owl without a graduation cap. Heartbreaking"
10 a.m. Tuesday morning. The Heroes offices:
Lemon: "Hey did you see our shout-out in Variety? They called us a comedy show."
John Mayer doesn't listen.
Lemon: "She is staunchly in favor of Cocoa Puffs. Do not sleep with her."
Kenneth Wide Shut:
Kenneth: "Gosh, last time I was blindfolded was when I had to play the piano at that weird masquerade party."
A porn star audition on Broadway:
Lemon: "Did she do sexy birthday or mannequin that comes to life?"
Jack: "Sexy birthday. Thank God."
Silent Comedy Award:
Kenneth: "This is worse than the original finale. What are we going to do?"
Tracy: "I don't know, Ken. This is bad. I wish this were an episode of Night Court, because then there'd be some big joke right now."
[Silence.]
Uninterrupted comedy:
Lemon: "I was at this club last night called... Chili's, and I met this smoking guy. He was just raw."
Claire: "Tell me everything."
Lemon: "I'm going to. He was wearing this shirt and I could totally see his nips. Very muscular."
Claire: "Did you go home with him?"
Lemon: "Yes to his loft. So let's go dancing in high heels!"
You think?
Jenna: "There you are. Why'd you leave? I think those Persian guys wanted us to make out together."
Moms from the Midwest and Crazy Bitches: A Cookbook
Claire: "I made you a white pizza and a pot roast."
Taken out of context:
Jenna: "That idiot werewolf paid for my hand reduction surgery, okay."
Brangelina:
Claire: "Are we boring? Are we some sexless couple that just sits in silence at a fish place on like a Sunday night at 5 o'clock? Because if we are I will kill myself."
No-Prize Award Winner:
Tracy, Tracy, Tracy. This week it was an easy choice. Lines like "an owl without a graduation cap" are practically a guarantee, and did anyone else notice him doing a Whoopi impression?
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