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By Michael N

He wants Lemon to work with her on a spin-off but Lemon hastily declines citing, among other things, the shower confessional part of the program. Jack though compares MILF Island to art -- nay Shakespeare. "MILF Island reflects the drama of the human experience and isn't that the essence of art? Sniff, sniff. I think I smell a post-strike diatribe coming up. Lemon's rejoinder is passionate. "Performance is an art. Writing is an art. What we do is art." CUT TO: Tracy wearing a lab coat in the middle of a TGS sketch. He's to an overheating robot from the '50s. "Someone put too many farts in this engine! It's about to explode! It's farting! It's farting!!" Turns out that smell I detected was a fart. Man, she's good. Jack brings up another matter to her -- that unfortunate quote in today's New York Post. He wants to turn up the heat on her people and sweat out the quote's culprit. By the time she leaves Jack's office the whole staff is already on pins and needles in his waiting room. Frank is annoyed since there is fresh pizza and an entire MILF Island finale waiting downstairs for them. Lemon pleads for someone to take responsibility but instead is greeted, much like DMX, with middle fingers in the air. As she leaves Kenneth begs for a moment of her time in private.

Frank does the same to Lutz. He tells Lutz that the two need to form an alliance since they're the two biggest dirt bags in the office. Eventually they'll get blamed for it.

Downstairs all alone is Pete still stuck in a vending machine. He convinces himself that it's the shirt at fault and so slides it off, not unlike in foreplay with Paula one would assume. Still stuck though. "What?"

Kenneth is confused about the quote in the newspaper and shares this with Lemon. He knows Toofer would never use the word "poo," that Frank didn't say it because they were together all day and, oh yeah, he saw her say it while he was hidden in the elevator behind a cardboard cutout of ... an American Gladiator? Lemon had been frustrated by Jack's decision to send Tracy to Dubai and spills her frustration out on a handsome elevator buddy who turns out to be a reporter for the New York Post specializing in business gossip. Lemon pleads for Kenneth to keep this under his hat as 8th grade boys ride on the backs of MILFs who race each other along the beach on the TV set behind them. "But you're not supposed to lie," says Kenneth. "You apple-faced goon," says a frustrated Lemon. She begrudgingly agrees to tell Jack what happened but when she confronts him he share with her an involved story about his stuttering problem in school and having the Massachusetts Board of Education label him -- out comes the paperwork as proof -- "a class A moron." Jack was sent to a special needs class after that, forced to sweep sawdust in a boiler room.