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Cole pays a visit to Jim and gets him to cooperate. Which is good, because now Cole and Chloe know that Kiefer's probably going after Suvarov. Logan, Taylor, and Jason Pillar think Kiefer's done, but Jason quickly learns different when Kiefer takes him hostage and makes him drive them both to the U.N. and then sew up his wound before Kiefer ditches his unconscious carcass.
Kayla tells Dalia about the call from Meredith Reed. Obviously they can't get her back on the line, but Dalia confronts Taylor, who reluctantly comes clean. Dalia's about to walk, but Taylor threatens to publicize the earlier terror attempt to justify retaliating against the IRK, to force her to continue to play ball. Dude, Dalia just got Mean Girled!
Chloe learns that Kiefer's inside the building across the street from the U.N., and takes it upon herself to go find him on her own. All that gets her is one of Kiefer's patented sleeper holds, though, and Kiefer's sniper perch remains operational. From there, he gets Logan in his sights and forces him to call Suvarov up to his office. And then he does the scariest thing he's done so far: he smiles.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!So Lost gets two hours of "the story so far" before its finale. We get a bearded and besuited Kiefer, standing in front of the 24 logo, wishing us a good evening and thanking us all for our "tremendous support and enthusiasm." I actually think he means your tremendous support and enthusiasm; I get paid. He says it's been the opportunity of a lifetime for himself, "And I am eternally grateful." Oh, does everyone get to share their feelings? "Enjoy the final two hours of 24," he says, so I guess that tells us what our feelings are going to be.
In this last set of previouslies freeze-frames: Jack Bauer, President Allison Taylor, Chloe O'Brian, President Charles Logan, and Russian President Yuri Suvarov. A president-heavy gang this time around. The following takes place between 2:00 PM and 3:00 PM, and here's something we haven't been reminded of at the beginning of an episode in a long while: events occur in real time. Aw, it's gonna make me cry!
Cole is driving along in his CTU sedan when Arlo calls from the CTU floor with some news: "Jack murdered Novakovich at his hotel and six of his security guards." And then disappeared again. He didn't even leave a trail of bloody footprints? Arlo's got his doubts about this little project after seeing photographs of what he describes as a slaughterhouse. "Does Chloe really still think she can pull this off?" Cole says no one else can, and if she can't, they'll do what it takes to stop him. "Even when Novakovich's whole security staff couldn't?" Arlo asks. That's actually a really good point. Cole says they don't have many other options, and anyway he's almost at Jim's building. Arlo tells him to be careful; Jim won't like being found. "I'm not expecting him to," Cole says. He pulls into a spot outside Jim's place, and if he can deal with paranoid, heavily armed loners as well as he can parallel park, he doesn't have a thing to worry about.
Inside, Jim is watching the news reports about the signing. Apparently there will be a press conference after the signing ceremony, in a nice, exposed, outdoor location at the U.N. Plaza Gardens. Jim grimaces ruefully at the photo cards of Dalia, Taylor, and Suvarov up on the screen, all of whom will probably be either sworn enemies or dead by the end of the day. Then he gets a "security alert" on one of his monitors, throws on his jacket, and taps a few keys on his keyboard. The hallway camera starts doing its facial recognition thing, and Jim learns that his visitor's name is Cole Ortiz while Cole is creeping up the hallway, gun at the ready. Jim does something that causes a screen to read "INITIATE GLOBAL SYSTEM WIPE" (and there goes all his porn) while Cole pulls out a magical infrared scope to point at the hallway wall. That tells him exactly where in the techno-sanctum Jim is, and better yet it tells Cole that he's alone in there. Cole bangs on the door just as the wipe finishes (whereas in my house, a bang on the door is usually a signal that it's time for the wiping to begin) and calls Jim's name. When there's no immediate answer, Cole takes a shotgun and blasts open all three of Jim's locks like he knows exactly where they are. Then he kicks open the door and points the weapon inside, only to see Jim pointing his own handgun right back at him. Cole lays it out for Jim: if Cole doesn't make a call in fifteen minutes, every intelligence agency in the country hears about Jim. "Or you can help us find Jack Bauer and we'll keep our mouths shut." Jim just squints at him. Michael Madsen is a world-class squinter, even when he doesn't have anything to squint about. Cole makes a persuasive argument that Jim isn't protecting Kiefer like he thinks he is, since Kiefer's on the shoot-to-kill list. "He knew what he was getting himself into," Jim shrugs. Cole has also done his homework, and knows that Kiefer saved Jim's life in Damascus. "This is your opportunity to pay back that debt. You know how this is going to end, right?" "Do you?" Jim asks. Snappy comeback. In answer, Cole lowers his gun and says, "If Jack dies today, it's on you." He turns to go, but Jim tells him to wait. They always do, in the end.
2:06:06. Chloe drives up to CTU's mobile command post outside the U.N., just as she gets a cell phone alert that Meredith Reed has been arrested. An Agent Burke (although he'll turn out to be more of a berk) comes out of the trailer and quizzes her about Cole's reinstatement, and gets slapped down for it, as expected. Chloe enters the trailer, which is swarming with CTU agents, to take Cole's call. Cole tells her that Kiefer's after Suvarov. He explains about the bug Kiefer put on Logan, which is how he learned about Suvarov being the one to order Walker's death. And how does Jim know this, when Kiefer didn't learn himself until after he cut Jim loose? Apparently the recording device Kiefer used is also connected to Jim's techno-sanctum. Which he wiped clean, but Kiefer should still have his copy, unless he records a home movie of himself over it or something. Chloe says they'll need that recording, now that Reed is in custody and Dana's data card was confiscated; "The recording that Jack has is the only proof we have now." As Cole gets back in his car, apparently unconcerned that a delivery truck has just pulled up to him and boxed him in, he says they need to "put an alert out on Jack," as though there aren't enough of those already. Chloe argues that Jason will get to Kiefer first and grab the evidence and then they're nowhere. "Chloe, we can't stand by and let Jack assassinate the president of Russia," Cole nervous-nellies. After rather too long a pause, Chloe agrees, but says they can buy themselves some time by changing Suvarov's motorcade route and locking him down in the U.N. when he arrives so that Kiefer can't get to him. Cole reminds Chloe that Suvarov will be a big old target at the podium during the press conference, what with that giant Gahan Wilson forehead of his looming over everyone. Chloe admits it's risky, so Cole agrees to this, but only as long as Chloe puts him in charge of security when he gets to the U.N. in 10 minutes. I guess now that they're operating outside the chain of command, they no longer have their own chain of command either. Then, after hanging up, Cole uses the rearview video display on his dashboard to back smoothly out of that tight parking spot he's now in, all the way to the intersection behind him so he can do a J-turn and get going. Gosh, where do I get one of those cars?
At the tunnel where Kiefer ambushed Logan last hour, Jason comes up to Logan -- still trying to blot tear gas residue out of his buggy eyes -- and suggests he talk to Taylor before word about Novakovich gets out. "I think it's time she knows everything," Logan says grimly. Now that it's too late for her to do anything about it.
At 2:09:10, Taylor walks through the U.N. hallways with Tiny Tim, (who's apparently been demoted from Secretary of Homeland Security to Chief of Staff, given how he has to follow her around these last couple of hours) and a small retinue, when she gets a call on her cell phone. She ducks unto one of the U.N.'s abundant empty side hallways to take the call. She has to listen to some blathering from Logan before he says Kiefer has gone all The Punisher: "Bauer just murdered Mikhail Novakovich along with a good number of his staff." In a whisper, Taylor asks if Novakovich was the one responsible for Hassan, and Logan confirms it. Taylor hisses, "President Suvarov is going to demand an explanation!" Logan rubs his face and hilariously says, "Actually, he's not." Taylor still has capacity to be surprised as she realizes Logan's telling her Suvarov was really the one behind Hassan's murder. "But the good news," says Logan, whose superpower is finding the good news, "is that Bauer doesn't know that." He explains how Kiefer killed everyone before they told him anything. "Aside from me, Novakovich is the only person who knew that Suvarov was calling the shots." Well, and Logan's "source" back in Russia. Whoever the hell that is, I bet he's very worried right now. Unless it's Mrs. Suvarov, in which case she's...okay, probably just a little nervous.
Meanwhile, we can see that Kiefer is of course still listening in somewhere, via his personal bug that he planted on Logan's shirt. That thing's got a long-lasting battery for something so small. Logan continues blowing sunshine up Taylor's skirt: Kiefer's killing spree is complete, and Suvarov will be happy to let this go. "The peace agreement can go forward as planned...we couldn't have asked for a better outcome." That's pretty brazen even for Logan, and Taylor points out, "Except that I am asking Dalia Hassan to shake hands with her husband's murderer. Call Suvarov. Tell him that I am aware of his involvement in this, and I will see him at the signing." Ooh, scary! Fiery language like that, we could have another Cuban missile crisis on our hands. She hangs up and enters a conference room at 2:11:23, putting on a brave smile as she apologizes to what looks like every delegate at the conference. Dalia sits down across from her, smiling obliviously.
Back at the tunnel, a new Secret Service limo is backing down the ramp to take Logan back to the U.N. Kiefer's still listening in, wherever he is. Logan shakes Jason's hand. "It's been a long road, but we're almost there," he chuckles, less than six hours after the road started.
Walking back to his own SUV, Jason calls his pet porn star Eden back at CTU and asks her for the latest on the search for Kiefer. She tells him a security camera caught Kiefer's exit from Novakovich's hotel, and she can see from the screen shot that he's hurt pretty bad, so she's putting out alerts to medical facilities. Now behind the wheel, Jason tells her, "We'll find him. It's only a question of time." He hangs up before he realizes that Kiefer has just sat up in the seat behind him, a gun leveled at the back of Jason's head. "Maybe a little quicker than you thought," Kiefer quips. He makes Jason give him his gun, and then tells him to drive. When Jason hesitates, he threatens, "You saw what I did to Pavel. I didn't have a lot of time with him. You, I've got all the time in the world. So you either do what I say or I will take you apart piece by piece. Now drive!" Jason drives. He wonders why Kiefer wants to go to the U.N.; "You killed everyone involved," he lies. Everyone except, as Kiefer reminds Jason, President Suvarov. It's 2:13:38.
At 2:17:55, a U.N staffer is wrapping up the final boring meeting of the delegates, and Jamot whispers to Dalia that Kayla wants to talk to her when she's available. Dalia says to tell her she'll be right there, and turns to Taylor holding a black cloth pouch. She says it's to Taylor from Hassan, to sign the treaty with. From it she withdraws a beautiful lacquered black box with gold Arabic lettering on the lid. She says Hassan wanted to give it to Taylor, but "I'm grateful that I can do so on his behalf." Wouldn't she be even more grateful if Hassan were here to present it his own self? Dalia translates the inscription to Taylor: "All religions, all this singing. One song. Peace be with you." She says it's a verse from Rumi that Hassan used to quote when talking about the treaty. Well, that must have been tedious. Taylor is deeply moved -- or else she's about to throw up on Dalia's shoes -- as Dalia thanks her and she opens the case to reveal a gold pen. What are the odds it's filled with disappearing ink? You know what a prankster that Hassan could be. In a voice heavy with emotion, Taylor thanks her for the honor, and Dalia even kisses her on the cheek. Kayla clasps hands with Taylor as the president passes her on the way out. Lucky for Taylor that her "I'm so profoundly touched" reaction looks so much like her "I so profoundly suck."
Now the two Hassan women can talk, and as they walk down the hall together, Kayla tells her mother about the call from Reed. Dalia isn't initially any more interested in what Reed might have had to say than Kayla was at first, but Kayla quietly tells her about Reed's claim that the Russians were involved in Hassan's murder. Dalia asks whether she had proof, but Kayla doesn't think Reed would have called about a rumor. "She wouldn't say anything more until she talked to you," she says. Dalia, intrigued, agrees to call Reed from the residence. Won't be the first time Reed's been called from that number.
At 2:20:47, Cole shows up outside the CTU mobile command unit, and going by the big sign outside, I have to say that CTU's graphic design isn't nearly as good as their interior design. Inside, Chloe is keeping things running until Cole takes her aside to ask what their move is once they have the evidence from Kiefer. "If the president's willing to lock down Meredith Reed..." he points out. I'm sure both the current and former IRK presidents would have loved a chance to lock Reed down, albeit in different ways. Chloe says they'll send the file to every media outlet in the world, as well as to every government employee. "Legislative, military, judiciary. That's over a hundred thousand people." And it can all be done with CTU servers, simultaneously. Unless of course another EMP hits, in which case they'll be about an hour behind. While Cole's half-smiling about that idea, Agent Burke shows up to give Cole his gun and badge back, and to stand there as Chloe puts Cole back in charge. Sucks to be Agent Burke. He could always argue, but Chloe's the boss and Cole has a gun now.
Jason flashes his badge to drive his SUV through the security cordon with Kiefer right there in the back seat. The latter is keeping himself busy by looting a field medical kit. Kiefer tells Jason to park in the ramp under the Hart building. As Jason pulls up to an NYPD SWAT roadblock, Kiefer ducks down behind the seat and threatens to kill both Jason and he guard if Jason screws this up. Jason pulls up to the guard, who looks at his badge and takes the most cursory of glances inside the vehicle. Lucky for Kiefer the windows are tinted and Jason's is barely open, because he's just sort of leaning over to one side rather than actually hiding. The guard remarks that the building was cleared two hours ago, which will explain a lot of what happens later, and Jason claims he's doing a last-minute security check. He's a little slow to take his ID back, though, and only when Kiefer gives him a warning glare does he keep going. Of course Jason couldn't have seen that glare, but I'm sure it hit the back of his head like a velvet-wrapped two-by-four. Once they're clear, Kiefer has Jason pull into a parking spot in the empty ramp at 2:23:45. Then he makes Jason give him the keys and get out of the car with him. Before Kiefer tells Jason to turn his back on him, Jason notices the blood already dripping on the ground at Kiefer's feet. Kiefer himself backs up against a support column as Jason says it's going to be another hour before Suvarov reaches the podium. "You're not going to make it that long, not with the way you're bleeding." Kiefer's too busy threading a curved surgical needle to answer at first. Then he makes Jason back up to him, which Jason does, looking quite nervous. When he tells Jason to turn around, it's to find the gun muzzle pressed against his face and Kiefer telling him, "You're going to suture me up." Well, of course he is. As Jason moves in, Kiefer warns that he'll put a bullet in Jason's brain if he tries anything. Jason doesn't even argue that he doesn't know how to do that, which means he probably does. Sure enough, without even bending down to get a closer look at what he's doing, Jason starts stitching up Kiefer's most recent knife wound. Not only does he seem to know what he's doing, his hands are admirably steady under the circumstances. He probably wishes he had a live grenade to hide in there.
While working, Jason quizzes Kiefer: "You've spent your entire career working outside the system, but you've always had a good reason. This? It's just bloodlust. You're destroying an agreement that took years to put together." Kiefer says it's an agreement made by "murderers and liars." And Hassans, but then I guess Farhad was all three. "You're the one killing people in cold blood," Jason points out. Kiefer says that all his victims had a hand in the attack today. Even Novakovich's staff? What if a couple of those guys were just temps the agency sent this morning? Jason asks, "Who made you judge and jury?" Kiefer says Taylor did, when she signed on for the cover-up. "I would have accepted justice by law." Noble of him. "But that was taken away from me by people like you. So you're right, I am judge and jury. Now step back! Turn around! Start to move back toward the car." I guess Jason's done stitching. Holding his bloody hands in the air while obeying, Jason realizes what this means. He starts crying and begging for his life when Kiefer makes him get on his knees. He blubbers about his six-year-old girl until Kiefer takes pity on him and knocks him out with a blow to the head. And then another for good measure. Nighty-night! Of course if Kiefer keeps it up with the blunt-force skull trauma, Jason and his six-year-old will be on equal intellectual footing. Now that he doesn't have an audience, Kiefer allows himself to give a cry of pain. It's 2:26:33, and wouldn't it serve him right if he popped his stitches with that blow to Jason's head? "Wake up and do it again." Sew, sew, sew, WHACK! "Dammit! Okay, wake up..."
Commercials. Even I don't think 24 does as much to promote violence as this "PunchDub" nonsense does.
2:30:52. Kiefer has not only shouldered up his giant Duffel of Justice, he's also heaved Jason up into the back of his SUV. And with fresh stitches in his belly, too. Jason's a miracle worker! Of course, if Jason had been thinking, he would have sewn the loose end of Kiefer's sutures to himself. Kiefer draws his gun and starts making his way thought the building in a way that shows Jason didn't even tie his shoes together.
Dalia can't seem to get Reed on the phone (because she doesn't know, as we do, that Reed's in jail), and Jamot reports that although he was able to reach Reed's editor, Gary doesn't know where she is or how to reach her. "He seemed very anxious to get off the phone," Jamot adds. The Hassans seem to think that's pretty significant, to the point where I hope they never have to call me. I always sound anxious to get off the phone. Dalia throws on her headscarf to go see Taylor right now. "President Taylor and I are supposed to be sitting across the table from Yuri Suvarov in less than an hour," she tells Kayla. "If his government was involved in murdering your father, President Taylor needs to know." Yes, someone should really tell her.
Taylor sits in her office, contemplating Hassan's pen and possibly wondering how much it could demand on eBay. And the news that Dalia is outside with an urgent request to see her doesn't do much for her state of mind. When Dalia enters, she wastes little time telling Taylor about the Russian thing she just heard about. "Where did you hear this?" Taylor asks, doing a pretty good impression of shock to cover her evasiveness. Dalia tells her about the call from Meredith Reed that she's been unable to return. "I came here to ask for your help finding Ms. Reed. I need to know if there's any truth in what she said." To Taylor's credit, she does not start rooting through her desk and offer Dalia a beer nut. Instead, she says she also heard that rumor, but didn't tell Dalia about it because it was just a "frivolous accusation." Dalia's not convinced, but Taylor's clearly more worried about the upcoming signing. "Madame President, I feel like you're not listening to me," Dalia says, making admirable use of her "I feel" statements under the circumstances, and as Taylor keeps trying to downplay it, Dalia finally and firmly says, "I don't think I'm making myself clear. Until I determine if her allegations are true I will not sign this treaty." Taylor tries to "reason" with her, but finally has to get up and come around the desk to admit that she herself ordered Reed's arrest. "That doesn't make any sense, you wouldn't arrest someone for making false allegations," Dalia argues. Pause. "Unless they aren't false?" Well, you're not supposed to arrest someone for making true accusations, either, but let's not let that little point of law interrupt a dramatic reveal here. Taylor doesn't say anything, and Dalia realizes, "You knew? You knew the Russians were behind my husband's death and you said nothing?" Taylor lamely apologizes. "It was an impossible situation. I was trying to protect you!" She really has been taking president lessons from Logan. Dalia rages at Taylor that she betrayed her. Taylor has the nerve to play the Hassan card, saying he sacrificed himself to save the peace process, and Dalia goes off: "How dare you invoke my husband! He never would have stood for this! This treaty happened because he trusted you. And even though every fiber in my being wanted to go home and grieve I carried on because I trusted you. But not any more. I will not make peace with the people who murdered my husband or with you. There will be no agreement." Well, looks like Logan was right about one thing, at least. She adds that she'll appeal to the U.N. to release Reed and disclose the evidence. She's about to storm out when Taylor calls out, "Stop!" She sounds like a traffic cop. She insists that Dalia will sign the treaty. "Because if you don't, my administration will disclose hard, indisputable evidence that agents inside your intelligence service attempted to detonate a nuclear device on our soil. Which will give me all the justification I need to retaliate against the IRK with the full force of the American military! It will be decades before your country recovers. " Yikes! That's some cold, hard shit! Dalia stares at Taylor in blank shock at what she's proven capable of, as Taylor says that doesn't have to happen if Dalia will just sign the treaty. Dalia leaves without another word, slamming the door behind her and leaving Taylor shaking. It's 2:37:32, and we'll be right back with The Real Housewives of the United Nations.
2:41:52. Suvarov is still en route in the act-in splitscreens, which makes his the longest drive across New York City all season. In the main part of the action, an armed squad is checking the 22nd floor lobby of the Hart building. Kiefer stays out of sight until they've passed, then heads down half a flight of stairs to a landing. He sticks a couple of little buttons to the wall -- tiny cameras, we'll soon see, so he can keep an eye on the approach -- and starts breaking into a utility room. Between this show and Burn Notice (coming back Thursday, June 3, and don't forget to read the weecaps!), I think these rooms are of greatest "utility" to spies and terrorists. Especially since this one has a louvered window overlooking the U.N. Plaza Gardens, and the U.N. building itself across the way. Kiefer pulls out a laptop and opens it up (it comes on immediately, which tells me that Jim is a much better computer supplier than my company's entire IT department), so now he can see the hallway on live video feeds from those tiny cameras he planted. Then he sweeps all the crap off a small table (why bother to be quiet when you're about to assassinate a foreign head of state?) and moves the table to a spot in front of the window. Out of the bottomless duffel comes a folding sniper rifle and a tool kit. He uses the latter to start taking the metal grate off the window. He hasn't used the former yet, but I think we can guess what he'll be using it for. Yes, sometimes those old screws can get stripped, and you need a backup plan.
Dalia's in quite a state, back in the residence. "First they murder my husband and now this woman who has lied to me is THREATENING MY COUNTRY!" she rages. She's really good at talking loud and angry without shrieking. Jamot mildly tells her, "I don't see a way out of this, Madam President." Dalia says they can publicize the truth, and Jamot points out that they have no proof, plus they can't ignore Taylor's threats. Dalia argues that their military can protect the country (yeah, ask General Juma how that went for him), "and if necessary, we can REACTIVATE OUR NUCLEAR PROGRAM!" "Giving your husband's enemies exactly what they wanted in the first place," Jamot says sadly. "In addition to providing her with even more of an excuse to launch a preemptive military strike against us." Dalia says she wouldn't dare. "Can you really take that chance?" Jamot asks. Yeah, especially given how totally unpredictable that chick has gotten lately. The phone rings, and Jamot tells her that she's expected to come down and meet Suvarov's delegation, which is due any moment. This shouldn't be awkward at all.
Kiefer scopes out the Plaza below. Looks like a clear shot. Oh, that's what he wanted the sniper rifle for. I get it now.
In the CTU Mobile command unit, Chloe calls Cole over to break the news that the facial recognition software just picked up Kiefer. "Inside our perimeter. He's here, Cole." Way to bury the lede, Chloe. She says that Kiefer's stayed clear of the security cameras, but one of them caught his reflection in the front of a vending machine. I always knew those things were killers. She figures Kiefer must have taken Jason hostage, since he's the only one shown on the log as having entered the building in the last twenty minutes. Cole obviouses that the eastern windows would give Kiefer a clear shot of the Plaza. Chloe quietly says, "I'm going to go find him." Cole wants to come with her, but Chloe refuses. "You can't. You'll just cause a fight and I'm the only one Jack will listen to." She tries to calm Cole's worries by telling him to send in everyone they have if she doesn't contact him within 20 minutes. Cole gives her his sidearm and tells her to be careful. I think Cole better be careful, asking for a new gun from Agent Burke.
.Kiefer is sitting down nervously in front of a little digital video camera. "Hey," he says to it after pressing "record." Let's hope he's not taping over his recordings of Logan. "As long as I can remember, every time I've had to talk to you, it seems for one reason or another I've started out by telling you how sorry I am. Not gonna do that to you now." Obviously he's talking to either his landlord or Spawn, who I'm sure will be thrilled to get this recording delivered to her in her car at LAX after it's run out of gas from her circling around in front of the Arrivals exit for three days. "You're gonna hear a lot of stories about what I've done today. Some of them may even be true." But not the one about how he disemboweled a dude, right? He goes on, "No one, and I mean no one, can tell you why I did what I did except for me. A lot of good people died today. Not just President Hassan. Operatives from CTU, members of other law enforcement agencies...Renee Walker, who I was very close to." Especially for about forty minutes there.
At 2:48:12, Suvarov's motorcade drives into the entrance to the U.N.'s underground parking garage. Down below, Tim gets off his phone and reports to Taylor that Suvarov is seconds away. "Was Mrs. Hassan notified of his arrival?" Taylor asks. Tim believes so. "Yes or no, Tim, which is it? Is she coming or not?" Taylor snaps. Startled, Tim asks, "Why wouldn't she be?" He not only doesn't say, "Madam President," but almost calls her "Psycho Dingbat" instead. Before Taylor has to answer that, here comes Dalia, who, flanked by Jamot, takes up position to Taylor without looking at her. Here's the motorcade, and Suvarov emerges from the back of his limo to greet Taylor. "That we are all here together is a tribute to your persistence," he says, shaking her hand. No shit, he doesn't know the half of it. He moves on to Dalia, but Taylor cuts in to say they need to get upstairs, although she doesn't say that it's because she's worried Dalia will throw a wobbler at any second and screw everything up. In the hallway, Taylor starts to whisper something empathetic to Dalia, but Hassan's widow just growls, "There's nothing left for either of us to say, Madam President." It's 2:49:58. Good thing they're about to sign a document legally proving that they're all friends, or else I wouldn't be sure they really are.
2:54:14. Chloe presents herself to an armored CTU agent at the main entrance to the Hart building. He hands her a folded printout of the schematics and the master key she asked for and lets her in.
In the press room, the three presidents stand side by side in front of the crowd of delegates, while the Secretary General of the United Nations takes the podium. He's played by Eriq LaSalle for some reason. In an accent from some unspecified nation, SecGen talks about the new era of "transparency, honesty, and trust" this treaty signifies. Yes, it's all very ironic. Logan is watching from his office, changing his tie yet again. He's going with more conservative stripes this time. No word on whether he discovered the bug tacked to the inside of his collar in the process.
At the Mobile Command Unit, Cole gives orders to place a squad outside the Hart building," just in case." Inside that building, Chloe is making her way up the stairwell at 2:55:47, a gun held out in front of her with both hands like it's a universal TV remote she can't quite master. She pauses at a landing to look out the window, and yup, there's the site of the outdoor press conference right below. She hears a noise. That would be Kiefer, carelessly straightening up the crap in his little workspace. No point in leaving a mess, after all, and he probably won't have time to do much cleaning afterward. Chloe heads down the stairs in that direction, her heels softly clacking. Of course as she approaches Kiefer's lair, we go several seconds without seeing him, so we know he must be aware of her and lying in wait by now. And sure enough, when she uses her master key on the utility room door and lets herself in, Kiefer grabs her gun away, pushes her up against the far wall with a hand clamped around her neck, and demands, "What the hell are you doing here?" as he points his gun at her face. That's not a very friendly greeting. Chloe tries to tell him there's another way, but he only wants to know who else knows where he is. "Cole and Arlo," she says, and he looks a little surprised at that, not to say chastened. She warns Kiefer that Cole will send in the cavalry if she's not back in ten minutes. Kiefer puts away his gun and looks miserable as Chloe says they're going to kill him. That part probably isn't news to him. "You shouldn't have come after me," he says. "You're my friend," she says. Note the use of the singular. She adds, "I didn't have a choice." "Neither do I," Kiefer says, and snatches her into one of his famous sleeper holds. He tells her not to fight it as she coughs and struggles, and eventually, inevitably, lowers her to the floor. Why didn't anyone ever do that to her in Season Three?
Splitscreen. Cole supervises the Mobile Command Unit as Arlo sets up inside the CTU server room. SecGen continues his speech. Kiefer's already got the unconscious Chloe handcuffed to a railing so he can concentrate on the view below through his sniper scope. CTU and NYPD look busy down on street level. And Logan watches the beginning of Suvarov's speech, until he mutes it to answer his cell phone. "Jason, you watching this?" he smirks. Don't tell me Kiefer forgot to take Jason's phone away from him? No, Of course it's Kiefer calling. "I have a 556 rifle pointed straight at your head," Kiefer informs him. Logan's expression instantly goes slack with horror, because watching Phone Booth was bad enough without finding himself in it. Through Kiefer's crosshairs, he gulps, "Bauer." Why not just dive out of sight? "Bullet travels two thousand nine feet per second," Kiefer explains. "If you try and move you're a dead man. Which means you need to do exactly what I say, do you understand?" Kiefer has to repeat the question. Logan says he told him everything he knew. "And you thought I believed you," Kiefer says, and plays him a snippet of his earlier conversation with Suvarov. Glad to see he didn't tape over it, because I'm not sure Logan would be impressed by hearing Kiefer's voice say, "Kiss little Teri for me, and if you ever find her gone after midnight, just let her stay gone for fuck's sake." Logan looks busted and asks, "What do you want?" Kiefer instructs him to invite Suvarov up to Logan's office as soon as the press conference is over. Logan wonders what he's supposed to say to the Russian president to get him up there. "Try the truth for a change," Kiefer suggests. "Tell him you've got credible intelligence about a threat to his life." Without taking his eye from the sniper scope, Kiefer allows himself a tiny, scary little smile at his own cleverness. It's 3:00:00. Only one hour left -- less than the last fifteen minutes of Lost.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.Part two of the finale can be read here! Discuss it in our forums, then see our list of 24's most shocking deaths ever!
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