Episode Report Card M. Giant: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Terrorist Walks into a Bar[ometric Pressure Chamber]
By M. Giant | Season 8 | Episode 10 | Aired on 03.01.2010
Outside, at 1:32:25, the bug-eyed little runt playing Marcos paces around the case in the back of the truck. He pulls out his cell phone and dials. "Mom, it's me," he says, as in an apartment somewhere on the other end of the line, Mare Winningham turns on her bedside light. In a weirdly flat voice, he tells her to get out of the city and go to Aunt Shelly's. He can't explain why, or tell her where he is, but she needs to go now. He promises to meet her at Aunt Shelly's to explain everything, and she finally agrees to go. He quickly gets off the phone just as Samir enters, unsuspecting. "Are you ready, my friend?" Samir asks. Marcos is. His mom probably isn't, though.
At 1:34:02, Kiefer leads paramedics over to the ambulance to load up Farhad's dead body, which has an oxygen mask on it and everything. Hastings calls Kiefer to report that "the hook has been baited." Assuming the bad guys saw the news report, which I guess Hastings is. And correctly, which is worse. Kiefer says they're most likely to attack while they're en route, when they'll be most vulnerable. Drive slow, then! In fact, try hitting every hospital in the city, leaving a trail like Billy from Family Circus. Hastings says they'll have NYPD and SWAT units all along the way, as well as at the hospital. Kiefer reminds Hastings that they need to take the bad guys alive, and Hastings says that's covered. Kiefer leads Owen over to the ambulance to ride with him, and pauses to ask if he's okay. Owen says he is, but I suspect Cole Ortiz isn't the only CTU agent with wet pants right now. Kiefer assures him they're covered. Owen bravely says, "Fine, Mr. Bauer. Let's do this," and climbs into the ambulance. Looking guilty, Kiefer mutters, "Yeah," and climbs in the ambulance next to him. The convoy heads out, sirens blaring. It's 1:35:16, and Owen can at least take comfort in the fact that the terrorists are highly unlikely to attack during the commercials. Which are apparently six minutes apart now.
At 1:39:34, Tarin and Kayla are totally making out on the bed in one of the splitscreen windows. Not that he has her suit off yet. At the U.N., Rob tells Taylor that the evacuation is ready to start -- the second one tonight, I remind you, so they must be getting good at them -- and asks if he can get her anything. She thanks him, and apologizes for how challenging his first few months have been. Because normally a White House Chief of Staff sits around playing solitaire. Rob leaves as Hassan enters. Hassan has already heard his brother is dead, and asks Taylor to arrange transport back to Kamistan. "Personally, I don't care where his body rots, but my mother will want a proper burial." And while Mrs. Hassan is at it, she can probably arrange for Farhad to finally get that haircut she's been bugging him about. Taylor agrees to Hassan's request, and says it's time to evacuate. Hassan says he's sticking around, since Kayla is missing, having "run off with" his former head of security. Taylor offers her help, but Hassan says his people are on it. Taylor asks him to come with them anyway, for his own safety, but he refuses. "She's somewhere in the city with no idea that a nuclear threat exists. I won't go anywhere until she's been found." That's heroic of him, especially from the point of view of the people who are going to also have to hang around here until he decides to bail. Taylor gives in, and they shake hands before parting company. Neither of them mentions that the last time they evacuated this building, Hassan almost got blown up and came out of the experience with his brain in sideways.
As CTU monitors their progress on the big screen, the CTU convoy pulls into the hospital entrance. So much for an attack en route. The ambulance slowly backs into place at 1:42:04 while other CTU agents take up position. Meanwhile, back at base, Hastings tells Chloe to pull up the hospital's surveillance system and start running the facial recognition. Apparently the hospital has no objection to being used as a giant mousetrap for terrorists, or to armed CTU agents swarming through its hallways. Health care reform is even more urgent than I thought. While Chloe gets busy violating any number of HIPAA regulations, Kiefer calls in to report, "Farhad's body's being taken to his room." Farhad's body? Better hope no one's listening, blabbermouth. The facial recognition process seems to involve Chloe focusing on individual faces of people walking through the crowded halls, and then waiting several seconds while the software looks for a match from the intelligence files Hassan had sent over. For each person Chloe checks. Yikes, this could take a while. CTU should probably have someone on duty who knows some tricks for speeding up facial recognition, don't you think? Hastings tells Chloe to check the exterior cameras.
Lucky thing, too, because right now Marcos is pulling in and parking. Before getting out of his car, he gets a little black box with a big red button out of his pocket and lights it up. Then he unzips the jacket he's wearing over a set of medical scrubs, just to make sure the explosive vest he's wearing under it is still in place, I guess. And then he zips up again and gets out of the car. I'm beginning to suspect that he's not actually planning to meet his mom at Aunt Shelly's place.
Inside one of the hospital corridors, Kiefer gets a call from Walker. She's been sprung but is still at CTU, and somehow Chloe found the time to tell her about the deal Kiefer made to get her off the hook. "I didn't ask you to do that, Jack," she says. Kiefer says he couldn't let the White House set her up. "You did nothing wrong." He insists she let it go, and she's not responsible. On a more personal note, he adds, "I meant what I said earlier. When this is over I want to be there for you. With you." "I'd like that," Walker says. Oh, swoon. I wish we could see them in their happily-ever-after period, listening to them talk about their relationship in grim, hourly five-second increments. It would be like Twilight via Facebook. He tells her he'll have someone take her to his apartment (the one he was going to move out of that very afternoon) and he'll meet her there when they're done. She agrees, and he lets her go because he's hearing talk in the comm channel. And because he's going to have to figure out how to explain to Spawn how that FBI agent who called her out of the blue last season is going to be her new stepmom.
At 1:44:57, Kiefer switches channels and hears Hastings telling him the facial recognition came back with a hit on Marcos Al-Zacar -- the same Marcos who's about to enter the building with a bomb strapped to him. Hastings gives Kiefer a description, and Kiefer's on his way until Chloe zooms in on the surveillance frame to say it looks like Marcos is carrying a detonator, which probably means an explosive vest. Kiefer asks if she can disarm it from there. Well, sure, why not? That would be the safest place to do it from, after all. Chloe says she might be able to, if she can figure out the model of detonator from the surveillance frames. Kiefer tells her to go ahead, and then switches comm channels to inform Agent Owen -- posted outside a side door -- that Marcos is on his way to him. Poor kid probably thought the danger was over when they got to the hospital. "What should I do?" Owen wonders. "Stay calm and do whatever he asks," Kiefer instructs. "CTU techs are gonna try and disarm the vest from off-site." Owen says okay, which means he'd believe anything, and Kiefer tells him, "You can do this. Just try and slow him down as much as possible." When Marcos comes around the corner, Owen challenges him, asking for ID like he would anyone. Marcos comes right out and says he has a bomb. "Give me your weapon right now or I'll kill us both." After a pause, Owen complies, doing a very convincing imitation of a nervous hostage. Marcos asks where Farhad Hassan is, and Owen tells him the third floor. Marcos tells Owen to take him there. "Anyone asks who I