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Even with Kiefer in his hideout, Vladimir's not doing so well on tracking down those rods. He prefers to drink, grope Walker, and taunt Kiefer. And even when he does get a hold of Sergei Bazhaev, his countryman is no help. Bazhaev blows off Vladimir, postpones the delivery of the rods, and then… well, we'll come back to that. Finally, after coming up empty, Vladimir finally pushes Walker too far and she stabs him to death with a bread knife. The same clusterfuck also gets Vladimir's two surviving goons killed and Kiefer stabbed, although he recovers in record time even for him. Kiefer thinks they have enough to work with and that he and Walker are done for the day, but then the Russian hit squad Bazhaev sent shows up. Kiefer lets them take him, on the assumption that CTU will be able to track him from the air. But since the bad guys took him out by the sewer tunnels, that's not going to work. What do we say about assuming, Kiefer?
Dana's dodging work to run ops on that little robbery for Kevin (who's even dumber than she is), and people are starting to notice. Worse, Nick gets greedy and they hang around the evidence lockup too long, ending up beating down a cop so they can make their belated escape.
And on the U.N. front, President Taylor keeps the peace deal together and then spills word of the contraband uranium to the British delegate for some reason. Meanwhile, Hassan lets his security chief think he's talked him down from the ledge he's on, but he's just going further into the dark side. And Hassan still has plenty of people who will follow his most paranoid orders. Will even the security chief's relationship with Hassan's daughter help him now? Well, she's already showing signs of growing a pair, which is one of the biggest surprises so far.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!President Allison Taylor, President Omar Hassan, Dana Walsh (telling Kevin about his upcoming heist, "Nobody will know you were there"), Sergei Bazhaev, Renee Walker, and Jack Bauer are in the previouslies freeze-frames this week. Nice of them to pick a shot where Kiefer was wearing his disguise that consisted of a pair of Harry Potter glasses.
At the U.N., that meeting Taylor wanted to have with the representatives of the countries signing the peace agreement already seems to be over, and looks to have been a success. By the way, this looks like another Ethan-free episode. Perhaps that medication we saw him taking at the beginning of the season is to keep him from phasing entirely out of existence. Rob remarks to Taylor that they're probably safe until tomorrow morning, at least. Does that mean no more screen time wasted on this? The British delegate we met last week, not having been fooled for a moment, approaches Taylor to ask her what's really going on. He invokes the century of mutual trust between the U.S. and the U.K. (only a century? Was the War of 1812 more recent than I thought?) and promises to keep whatever she tells him quiet. She rolls right over and says to keep what she's about to tell him between the two of them and the delegate's Prime Minister: the people who went after Hassan are also after nuclear materials. "CTU is running an undercover operation to retrieve them as we speak." I hope that whatever Taylor's reasons were for keeping this quiet, they're sufficiently balanced by the need to maintain her relationship with Downing Street and the demands of early-episode exposition.
Vladimir's chief lieutenant Lugo is driving Kiefer's undercover Audi (not a Volkswagen, as I wrongly said in last week's recap, but still -- German engineering!) with Kiefer riding in the back seat, his gun leveled at Lugo's head. Kiefer's cell phone rings, and he tells Lugo it's probably his "backup," which is true enough. "No calls 'til we get to Vladimir," Lugo pronounces. Echoing my thoughts and sounding almost sincerely curious, Kiefer asks Lugo over his gun sight, "Does this look like a situation where you get to make demands?" Instead of waiting for an answer, he takes the call. It is indeed Cole calling, on his way out of the building whose roof he used as his sniper perch. Kiefer doesn't even have to be discreet as he tells Cole they're on their way to Vladimir's place. Cole offers more backup, but Kiefer says to hold off on that. "There are other considerations," he says, rather more discreetly. Cole realizes that means Walker, and agrees to hang back. "I'll let you know," Kiefer says, and hangs up. Lugo gets all curious about the call, and Kiefer tells him, "Shut up and drive." Audi's new slogan, ladies and gentlemen.
Back at CTU, Arlo has pulled up a traffic-cam image of the car, and enhances a freeze-frame for Dana, which clearly shows Kiefer's gun at Lugo's head. "Jack seems to be in control," Arlo observes. "The driver looks a little worried." Arlo wonders if he should do facial recognition on said driver, but Dana answers her cell phone instead of him. "Yeah, sure, no biggie, just unsecured nuclear materials," Arlo drawls to himself as she trots off. Everyone's stealing my lines tonight.
It's Kevin calling her, of course, and he and his prison buddy Nick have just pulled into the alley outside the evidence building in Kevin's van. She tells him to hang on; they have thirty minutes until the security pass, and she'll be right with him. You know, maybe she could put this off for like a day or two, perhaps walk Kevin through his robbery at a time she has blocked off to catch up on her filing. Meanwhile, out on the floor, Chloe summons Arlo to a meeting in Hastings' office. But first, Arlo wants to ask Chloe a hypothetical question. Following his gaze to their coworker, Chloe says, "If it's about Dana, it's not hypothetical." Undeterred, Arlo asks, "If your fiancée was cheating on you, would you want to know?" Chloe asks, "Hypothetically, who'd be asking, some creepy stalker who's about to get fired?" Chloe was right; this is getting less hypothetical by the moment. She tells him it's none of his business anyway (because Chloe's all about people minding their own business), and then snags Dana for the same meeting just as she's getting off the phone.
At 10:05:53, Lugo and Kiefer pull up outside Vladimir's garage. Kiefer reclaims the keys and makes Lugo get out like the hostage he is. Then he forces Lugo to precede him into the garage. They're met by Vladimir, Walker, and the one guy who stayed behind. Vladimir's forces are sorely depleted, are they not? Kiefer complains to Vladimir about his business practices, and Vladimir makes his excuses. "It was a misunderstanding, but it's past. We are here." Look who's a philosopher. Vladimir waves down the gun that his non-Lugo henchman has been pointing at Kiefer since he and Lugo entered. Walker adds that Vladimir has already begun making calls. Kiefer can't even let a gesture of good faith go without one-upping it; he releases Lugo, then hands his gun to Vladimir, butt-first. Beat that! But he does insist on talking to "my partner" alone, at once. He walks off a short distance and before following him, Walker whispers to Vladimir, "He's upset, understandably. It'll be fine." Vladimir lets her go. Lugo whispers in Vladimir's ear that this is their chance to take Kiefer out. "Don't risk everything for a whore," Lugo warns. Vladimir quietly threatens to kill Lugo if he ever talks about her like that again. This is big talk given what's going to happen to both of them in the hour.
Kiefer and Walker have a whispered argument about his wanting to pull her out and her not wanting to be pulled. She insists she's fine, and "if we stop this now, then everything I have done is for nothing." Speaking of things she's done, Vladimir comes stomping up, impatient to get started. Walker assures Kiefer, "It'll be worth it." As Kiefer follows them to the back office, he can't help noticing that Vladimir has his hand on Walker's ass. I assume that's not what she meant.
Back at CTU, it's 10:08:32 and I can only assume Hastings' little meeting is already over. If it's not, Dana's skipping it and I don't see Hastings appreciating that. Dana goes into an empty interview room and calls Kevin on her cell, while pulling up schematics and live video from the evidence lockup. She tells them to go now, and watches them on the monitor as they cross from the van to the security door. If that monitor is showing them on her video screen now, won't it also show them later, when the crime is investigated? I know, I should relax; Dana is obviously way smarter than I am. Into Kevin's borrowed CTU earpiece, Dana tells him to use the key card and the code 1668. Kevin tries it twice and fails, but Nick manages it. Probably because the number stuck in Nick's head is the last year of the Portuguese War of Restoration. There's a quiet motion alarm beeping as they enter, but Dana tells them it'll stop shortly, and warns them, "If you want the $120,000, you will be out of there in less than twenty minutes." She sends them down the hallway to the last door on the left, whose entry code is 4660. A moment later, Kevin and Nick are inside a big room divided into big, fenced-in pens, with shelves of evidence behind them. "It's like Christmas with chain-link," Kevin says, although he seems like the kind of guy for whom that statement would be redundant. He asks Dana where the money is. Dana tells them to find section 3101, which they'll enter using the access code 2824. "Last one on the left," she reminds them. Eventually Nick finds a gate, but the code doesn't work -- that's because they're trying to get into 3110. It must be so reassuring to Dana to see that she's in league with morons. "What is wrong with you two?" she asks. Speaking slowly, as if to a complete imbecile (which in fact she is), she redirects them to 3101 and they get inside. Then they have to find bin 4301. "Man, it's too many numbers," Nick mutters, which is
the first line he's gotten on this show. Awesome. Kevin finds a bag, and Nick rips it open to find some fat bricks of cash inside. Dana tells them to get out of there. "The patrol is in less than fifteen minutes. You've got the money. Close the doors and leave." Kevin happily acknowledges, and hangs up. But Nick isn't ready to leave yet -- he wants to root through the goodies some more. After all, Dana said they have fifteen minutes. Dana leaves the newly christened CTU Robbery Ops Center at 10:12:03, unaware that her accomplices are even stupider than she feared.
At 10:16:22, one of the act-in splitscreens still shows Nick digging among the evidence bins and scattering their contents all over the floor. Remember Dana saying that nobody would ever know they were there? Someone clearly forgot to loop Nick in on that part of the plan. When the clock stops ticking, we join Kiefer and Walker (and Lugo) in Vladimir's office, listening to him talking to someone on the phone and apparently striking out as far as nuclear rods go. "They did not appreciate being called so late," Vladimir adds, and goes to the bar for a fresh drink while telling Walker to cut him a piece of bread. Vladimir wants to do a shot of vodka with Kiefer, but doesn't exactly stand on ceremony, downing his own while Kiefer watches. Kiefer advises Vladimir slow down. Gosh, 24 Russians certainly are hard-drinking folk, aren't they? Vladimir gives Kiefer another chance to tipple with him, and this time Kiefer does. With two fresh shots sloshing around inside him, Vladimir goes to critique Walker's bread-cutting technique, wrapping himself around her to "help" her while carefully watching Kiefer's reaction. Kiefer manages to keep cool while Vladimir's looking, but permits himself one beast of a jaw-flex once Vladimir's back is turned. Vladimir observes to Kiefer that Walker has changed. Yeah, we noticed that too. "Six years ago, she thought she was too good for me. Now she is much more friendly. Maybe I should thank you, all that time you were together in Mexico City." He's about to Go There, but Kiefer cuts him off, telling him to do his talking on the phone. Vladimir agrees, but tells Lugo to take Kiefer out of the room. And get him some vodka while he's up. Because if you're calling Russian mob captains to ask them about weapons-grade uranium, you want to sound as drunk as possible.
Out in the main garage, at 10:18:37, Lugo invites Kiefer to take a seat, and leaves on his vodka run after instructing the other goon to watch the front. And that's how Kiefer ends up being the closest person to the back office. This will be important later.
At the Russian restaurant back in Manhattan, Bazhaev leads a young priest named Father Gregor across the dining room, where dead Oleg, in a clean shirt, is laid out in the middle of the room like an irradiated all-you-can-eat buffet. Bazhaev asks Gregor to bury Oleg -- now, out back, like a dead pet. Which should be fun, since the aerial establishing shot before this scene suggested that this restaurant is located right downtown. "My men will dig the grave." Which should be fun, in the alley and all. Gregor tries to protest the impropriety of this, but Bazhaev insists: "Treat him like a soldier who died on the battlefield and must be buried." Gregor carefully asks if that's how he died, but Bazhaev is done answering questions. "Where I end up, I don't care. But this boy is with the angels." Let's just hope he's not with all the other people who have already been killed this season. That room would be a lot more crowded.
Bazhaev heads back to the pantry, where Josef is still pouting on the floor with a guard posted outside. Bazhaev dismisses the guard and tells Josef, "Get up." Josef does not. Bazhaev squats down and says, "Look at me, Josef." Josef does not. Considering how their last conversation about Josef's disobedience went, you'd think he'd be listening a little better. Bazhaev tells Josef that this is all so he can leave Josef and his family "wealth, respect, consequence." There's a reference to Josef's son, and I really hope Josef only has the one. Bazhaev calls Josef his only son and embraces him, then gets him to agree to help Father Gregor bury Oleg. Then the guard knocks on the door and holds out a cell phone. "Vladimir Laitanan," he announces. "He says it's important." Huh, wonder what he wants?
Bazhaev leaves the pantry to take the call at 10:22:13, demanding to know what he wants. Vladimir calls him "Sergei Petrovich," and apologizes for the lateness of his call. "Uh, your family is well?" Yikes, wrong time to ask that question. Bazhaev repeats his demand, and Vladimir circles his point until he finally says he's looking for "nuclear rods. Highly enriched uranium." Bazhaev stops walking, but he feigns ignorance, even when Vladimir says he has a buyer who's willing to double any offer. "Then he is as stupid as you are," Bazhaev barks. "Are you out of your mind? Nobody deals in nuclear rods, nobody!" Vladimir apologizes, and Bazhaev snaps, "Don't call me again!" End of call. Vladimir tells Walker he's getting nowhere, and he wants a little sex-break. Walker makes him wait until he's made some more calls. Vladimir dials. The phone, I mean.
Bazhaev returns to the pantry and tells Josef, "Vladimir Laitanan knows about the fuel rods." Josef disinterestedly asks him what he's going to do, but Bazhaev is already doing it. He's on his cell phone, and he reaches a guy who's riding in the back of a semi that's traveling through the city. Finally switching to Russian, now that he's speaking to his third fellow Russian of the hour (fourth if you count his American-accented son, fifth if you count the guard he said "Leave us" to earlier), Bazhaev instructs him, "It's Bazhaev. You need to stop. You know where to go." The man in the truck argues about the schedule, but Bazhaev insists. After hanging up, the man in the truck speaks Russian into a walkie-talkie. "Anton, pull off the road," he says. "We're stopping." The camera pans over to a big wooden crate, like the coffin of a giant, and then we see a shot of the truck crossing a bridge. Which does not look like a good place to pull over, at least if one doesn't want to attract attention. It's 10:24:48.
10:29:04. Hassan is in his office, busily going through photos like he's casting Kamistan's Top Terrorist. He answers his desk phone, and it's President Taylor herself, wondering where he is when they're supposed to be getting back to work. Doesn't she have people to make these calls for her? Hassan starts to make excuses for his lateness, and she asks him in a very serious tone what his intentions are. As he waves in his security chief and another, less trustworthy-looking fellow, Hassan asks what she means. Taylor says she's already vouched for him to the other countries, and wants to be sure he's going to behave himself. He promises to stop the arrests in the few hours (because by then everyone in his country will already be in custody), and to either release or charge the delegate he had arrested last hour. Taylor accepts that, because she's apparently going to be gullible this whole hour, and the call ends. Then she asks Rob how Hassan sounded. "Not like himself," says Rob, who was listening on speaker the whole time. Helpful. You know what would come in handy for Taylor right now? A Secretary of State. She should get one of those.
"Did he talk?" Hassan asks his security chief, who we learn this week is named Tarin. The answer is no. Hassan asks how "forceful" the interrogation was, and Tarin says, "Very." Even if it couldn't have been that long, since Tarin hasn't even been outside the U.N. building for 45 minutes. "I did it myself. I don't believe he's involved with your brother in any way." Hassan is not satisfied, and he wants the delegate's wife and two children back home arrested. "Apply whatever pressure is necessary to make Jamot talk." Tarin just scowls at him handsomely, until Hassan tells him to speak his mind. Which Tarin does: "You rallied us around you on the promise you would put an end to such tactics. Mr. President, I will do everything humanly possible to find your brother, but please, do not ask me to violate the principles that you and I both stand for." These words seem to hit home, and Hassan thanks Tarin for being the one to tell him the truth now that his wife is gone. He backs off his order, and tells Tarin to just check computer and phone records again. Tarin and the other man head for the door to comply, but Hassan asks the shady-looking one to stay and pack up the files. No sooner is Tarin gone than Hassan repeats the order he just gave Tarin. And this guy, although a little slow on the uptake, is perfectly cool with it. Clearly Tarin should have come to this meeting alone. Hassan adds instructions to find Tarin's records while he's at it. "He might have his own reasons for not wanting Jamot to talk." This sounds too shady even for Shady, but I'm sure he'll come around. Interesting how Hassan's behavior right now is not entirely unlike that of Kiefer's in past seasons. But in this case we can tell it's wrong, because the person who disagrees with Hassan is brave and handsome, while the guy who's going along with him is bug-eyed and unshaven. Times change, don't they?
At 10:33:05, there's crap all over the place in the evidence lockup. And that crap includes Kevin and Nick, who still haven't left. Kevin says they have to move, and suddenly Nick points a gun at him and demands the money. Kevin reminds him that they're splitting it. Nick takes a deep breath, and pulls the trigger. And Kevin is struck full in the face -- by a stream of water. Has anyone ever actually seen one of those realistic replica squirt guns in real life? The horseplay continues until they hear the motion sensor alarm from out in the hallway. Kevin calls Nick an idiot, and dials Dana for some help getting out of there.
Bad timing for Dana, as usual: at CTU, Chloe comes up to her to give her an update on the materials they found on Davros. They've verified that the stuff was Soviet. Thanks for the news flash. Dana tells Chloe to keep her informed, and walks off to answer yet another cell phone call. "Kevin, are you out of there?" she asks. "No, not exactly," he says. "You idiot!" she hisses, rushing back up to the Robbery Ops Center. "If you get caught, I am dead!" she says, reminding us why she doesn't just let these two fools twist in the breeze. Kevin says she's not alone, and tells her to get them out of there. Back online at the computer terminal, she quickly spots the uniformed cop in the hallway outside. Fortunately, there's another door out of the room. While the crooks scamper over to it, Nick with a baseball bat in his hand, Dana sees the security feed showing all the ransacked evidence on the floor. "My God, what have you done?" she asks in shock. They did what idiots do, Dana. Try to keep up. Kevin and Nick find the alternate exit locked, and duck out of sight just as the cop enters. Dana tells Kevin they'll have to sneak past, going out the way they came in. Kevin watches from the shadows as the cop walks the room. At least he hasn't seen the disarray yet. As he turns down an aisle, Kevin and Nick make their move toward the exit. But then the cop sees the mess, and starts to call it in on his radio. Nick runs up behind him and bashes him to the floor with the bat. Horrified, Dana tells Kevin to stop him, which takes some doing. Kevin says they have to go, since the cop called it in. "We'll call you when we're clear," Kevin tells Dana as he drags Nick out of there. "God!" Dana spits as she throws
down her phone. It's 10:36:17, and if that cop dies, she's an accessory to murder for the second time. Like they used to say on her old show, this has happened before, and will happen again.
At 10:40:32, Tarin knocks on room 2404 in the U.N. residences, and Hassan's daughter Kayla answers. I'd say she's been relaxing in her own suite, but she hasn't even unbuttoned her suit jacket. She's quite happy to see him, then concerned that he's all right, and then she lets him in. He takes a minute to check that they're alone, and once he's satisfied, they hug each other hard. I'm not entirely surprised that these two are in a relationship, but I'm not sure we're supposed to be. Tarin tells her about Hassan's order to have Jamot's wife and children arrested, which he apparently caught wind of after leaving the office. She doesn't believe it. "He gave the order himself," Tarin says. "I thought I'd convinced him not to, but he was lying to me. He went behind my back." That sounds even less like the Hassan Kayla knows and blindly believes in than the first thing Tarin said, but it seems to convince her. "Farhad's betrayal has changed him," Tarin explains. Kayla wonders what they can do about it, but before Tarin can answer, there's a knock on the door. Kayla picks up her TV remote to switch to the picture-in-picture view from the security camera outside her door, and sees three swarthy, suited guys waiting outside, led by Shady himself. She tells Tarin to stay out of sight while she answers. She goes out into the hallway to talk to them, closing the door behind her and telling them she hasn't seen Tarin. Shady is about to order a search of her suite, telling Kayla to her face he doesn't believe her, but before it escalates too far, Tarin himself comes out to confront Shady, who says Tarin is now suspected of involvement in the conspiracy himself. They try to talk Shady down, but he isn't hearing them. "Don't you see my hands are tied?" he smirks. Tarin hands over his gun and allows himself to be handcuffed. As he's being led off, Kayla calls after them that she'll talk to her dad and get him to change his mind. Except I think he's already changed it, for a much more paranoid one. Seriously, what kind of conspirator would willingly get in the car that was scheduled to be immediately blown up?
At 10:43:33, Kiefer is getting bored of waiting. And inside the inner office, Vladimir has just wrapped up a call with his last contact, who also knew nothing. "He also said it's suicide to deal in them. Meier has wasted our time." Walker insists they call someone else, and when Vladimir says he's done, she pushes him to call some of them back. Vladimir is refusing, and getting irritated, as well: "Just because I like your face doesn't mean I have to put up with your crap," he says. "We made five million. A good night's work." So maybe "Meier" didn't waste your time after all. Walker says they could have fifty, and Vladimir chuckles and gets grabby some more. "Plus we have each other," he says, like five million is worth putting up with him. Walker brings his phone to him, still insisting. Vladimir still doesn't budge, and he tells her to go send Kiefer away. This keeps escalating until they're both yelling at each other about the deal. "That is why you're here? The deal?" Vladimir asks disgustedly, like she didn't already tell him exactly that, several dozen times. "Why else?" she spits. "You think that I'm here for you?" Vladimir punches that face he likes so much, and then does it again. The second blow knocks her down, and the bread board spills to the floor with her. He smirks and tells her to get up. Which she does, but with the bread knife in her hand. Which she uses to stab him in the face. See, if he hadn't had so much vodka, I bet his reaction time would have been better and he could have at least put a hand up. That might have kept him alive for another three seconds, at least.
Out in the main part of the garage, Kiefer hears Vladimir's howl and scream, and runs into the inner office. Again, he's too late; he finds Walker on top of the now-dead Vladimir, who in addition to his ruined right eye also has several stab wounds in his torso and is getting a fresh one at a rate of about one per second. Good luck getting him to make more calls now, Walker. Kiefer goes to pull her off, and she turns around and blindly sticks the knife in his belly. They exchange horrified looks -- through his Harry Potter glasses, no less -- and he crumples to the floor with the knife still sticking out of him. Lugo comes in and takes in the scene. While he reaches for his gun, Walker gasps, and Kiefer suddenly recovers enough to sit up and hurl the knife backhanded across the room, where it lodges in Lugo's throat. And from behind the sofa, no less. Lugo crashes to the ground. Finally, here comes the other goon, and Kiefer shoots at his shadow through the corrugated plastic partition, taking him down before he's even in sight. Walker drops to her knees, and Kiefer comforts her while she cries. It's 10:46:16, and Kiefer's been proven right yet again. Yay?
At 10:50:33, Kiefer is multitasking. He's bandaging his abdomen in Vladimir's bathroom while updating Hastings and the rest of the speaking roles back at CTU (as well as Cole, who is still driving around somewhere) by cell phone. He tells them Vladimir came up empty. "Renee kept pushing him, and it got ugly. Laitanan's dead. He attacked her." Hastings is surprised to hear that Walker killed him. "Half an hour earlier she was having sex with the guy. How's that even happen, Jack?" Well, sex and murderous thoughts aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, as Mrs. Hastings no doubt realizes. Kiefer says she was defending herself. Buttoning his bloody shirt back up, Kiefer suggests they "move on." Hastings wonders how they do that, now that their only lead is dead. Kiefer, who's used to being the one who decides when something or someone is their only lead, says they can work up the calls Vladimir made tonight, as well as his files and his computer. As if there'll be anything on the latter but a lot of porn featuring petite, freckled redheads. Cole chimes in that he and his team are five minutes away. Hastings wants Vladimir's body back to be autopsied. I'm no pathologist, but I'd be prepared to speculate a cause of death already. "Any other good news?" Hastings asks. "Jack? Cole? Dana?" Dana, I should have mentioned before now, has been completely spaced out throughout this whole meeting, and has nothing to contribute. Cole doesn't fail to note the detachment in her voice from his end, although he doesn't say anything. But after the call is over, Hastings yells at Dana: "Our entire operation just went south. You think you could show a little interest? Pull it together!" There's that delicate Hastings touch. Of course, if he wants to see an operation that went south, he should go check the archives on the computer in the Robbery Ops Center.
Kiefer goes back out into the main office, and in a little-girl voice, Walker says he didn't have to cover for her. He says he told the truth, but she says they'll know what happened when they see Vladimir. Oh, come on, they're in an auto shop. Fill some of those knife-holes with Bondo and nobody will ever be the wiser. As he goes to her and crouches down in front of her, Walker admits Kiefer was right: "I couldn't handle it." He says it's okay, but she points out, "I could have killed you." Oh, no she couldn't have. So many have tried on purpose, it's not going to happen by accident. Crying again, she says she thought she could have her life back if she did this. Kiefer says she can have it back any time she wants: "You just need to want it." But she doesn't know how to do that. "I don't have anything, anyone." "You have me," Kiefer says, whatever he means by that. Don't worry, he doesn't kiss her. I wouldn't either, given the fact that blood from her last sexual partner is now staining Kiefer's spleen. He wipes her tears, and she pulls herself together. He encourages, "Every call Laitanan made is a solid lead we can follow up, and that's because of you. You did your part. Now let CTU do their job. Please, let me take you home." She agrees. Then there's a noise from outside, and Kiefer says, "Dammit, they really must have been moving. CTU's here
already." Unless of course it's not CTU, but that doesn't seem to occur to either of them. He reminds her, for later, that Vladimir attacked her and she defended herself. Twelve or thirteen times, looks like. "If anybody else wants to ask you questions about that, I'll be right there with you to answer them," he says. We'll see about that. Even if the authorities would allow that, has he seen the new interrogation rooms at CTU? There isn't room for three people in there, even if one of them is Kiefer.
He goes out to meet the new arrivals at 10:54:42. And then he hears the people walking past the window. There are at least three of them, and they're speaking Russian. Kiefer dives out of sight, and runs back to the office. Draggling Lugo's body clear of the door so he can close it, Kiefer tells Walker, "They're Russian. Vladimir must have contacted whoever got the rods. They just didn't want him to know." Fortunately, Kiefer's already got a plan: "I'm going to let them take me." Okay, maybe "plan" is a strong word, but he's just done an awful lot of thinking in a very short time. He's rapidly searching the office for a hiding spot for Walker, and when she protests, he says, "You want everything you've done so far to matter? I need to do this." He instructs her to tell CTU to track him from the air. "These people are going to lead us to everything we're looking for," he says. Gosh, it almost sounds too easy. Except, as Walker points out, they'll kill him. "No, at worst they're going to have to vet me," Kiefer says. "Find out how much I know. Should buy us enough time." So it's called "vetting" now? That's a much more pleasant word than "torture." He finds that water heater closet that Walker located last hour and stashes her inside, with his gun. Or, I guess, Lugo's gun. "This door opens again, you start shooting," he instructs. Which will be good, now that he used half the clip shooting the goon earlier.
The three Russians burst into the inner office, guns at the ready and that pantry guard from the restaurant in charge. He comments in Russian on the three corpses, including Vladimir. While they're trying to figure that out, Kiefer calls out from the bathroom that he's coming out. He does, keeping his hands visible and dangling a bloody white cloth. He shows he's unarmed and gets to his knees, begging them not to shoot. The boss asks what happened. "They tried to rip me off, but you and I, we can do business," Kiefer claims. The leader storms up to Kiefer with his gun, and Kiefer convincingly cowers, telling him not to shoot. "You kill me, you're gonna cost your boss a lot of money." Kiefer says he's alone. "All I wanna do is business." The leader orders the gunmen to take him, and they head out. One of them stays behind to check the bathroom. He spots the closet where Walker is hidden, and takes an inexcusable amount of time going up to it, while Walker readies the gun she's holding. "Mikhail! We leave," the leader calls just in time. And they do.
Splitscreen time. While Walker is trapped in the closEEET, Kevin and Nick share a bottle as they drive along, now laughing at their narrow escape. I'm sure Dana will also appreciate the humor. Hassan stares out his window, probably seeing enemies everywhere. Bazhaev looks pensive. The truck with the fuel rods is parked at a truck stop, the driver having joined the guard in back. And Cole drives his team to Vladimir's place. That would have been kind of awkward for Kiefer if they'd showed up before he'd been taken away, don't you think?
CTU pulls up, flashers blinking, and Cole leads his team inside the empty garage, guns drawn. They soon find the bodies, and Cole orders one of his men to start uploading video to CTU. It's up on the big screen in real time. "Any sign of Jack or Renee?" Hastings asks over Cole's earpiece. Out comes Walker, letting them see her hands first as she slowly emerges from the bathroom. Cole tells Hastings she's alive, and asks her where Kiefer is. "The Russians took him," Walker says. "The ones that have the nuclear materials." Cole asks them how, when they've been watching the building and haven't seen any vehicles leave. Walker doesn't know. Man, if this turns out to be something that Dana should have caught, her face is going to be so red. "Jack let himself be taken," Walker says. "He said you'd be monitoring him from the air." CTU's got dick on that, even with drones having been overhead the whole time. "Where is he?" Walker demands. "We don't know," Hastings says lamely. Cole relays to Walker, to his obvious embarrassment, "We don't know."
But we do. He's being led through a sewer tunnel. He's looking up at the ceiling, thinking to himself, I've made a huge mistake, when his captors -- there are more of them now, so some must have been waiting outside -- pop a head-bag on him. A moment later, they emerge into the open and all climb into a van, which drives off into the night under a clear, droneless sky. But the good news is that at least now Dana won't be looking at a treason charge on top of everything else. It's 11:00:00.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.Watch the full episode now and then come back soon for the full recap.
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