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Kiefer's first words after he recovers from his latest seizure are to tell Walker that Tony's a bad guy again. But it's too late, because Tony has already escaped the perimeter and met up with Galvez in a motel room. Galvez tries to double-cross Tony over the canister and gets killed for it. Meanwhile, Kiefer, feeling bad about vouching for Tony, wants to question Hodges and get the goods on the conspiracy in exchange for helping him fake his death, thus protecting his family. And, Tony convinces his girlfriend the Faux-yer to push The Group, as they're apparently called, to execute another attack that very day with the stolen canister. Kiefer gets Hodges to tell him about The Group's evil plan, but he doesn't have any names. So Kiefer has the old CTU servers broken out of their convenient storage at FBI-DC and calls Chloe back in to boot them up. She's not thrilled to hear that Tony's been behind this all along, but she's on board. And they have to hurry, because Tony and the Faux-yer are about to kidnap a Muslim patsy to take the blame for the attack. Olivia Taylor is losing her shit over Hodges's witness protection deal, so she calls on an old campaign crony for some no-good plan. Kiefer loses his shit on Janis when she complains about the FBI turning into CTU, to the point where he forgets who the president is now, which tells Chloe that something's up with him. And Tony and his goons grab their guy, who is probably about to have a very bad four hours.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!In tonight's previouslies freeze-frames, we've got Tony Almeida, Olivia Taylor, Jonas Hodges, Alan Wilson, and Jack Bauer. Who the hell is Alan Wilson? Oh, he's the guy played by Will Patton, who hangs around freshly shaven with his French cuffs at three o'clock in the morning, obviously.
The building Galvez blew up is looking like a war zone, and the fire department has arrived and is hosing down the structure. By now there are flames in almost every visible window. Wounded men are being schlepped from one place to another, but of course the one we care about is now sitting in the back of one of the ambulances, being attended to by Dr. Macer. She tells him to "hang in there" while she gives him an injection. Kiefer tries to speak, but she tells him his vocal cords are in spasm. Oh, of all the crimes perpetrated today, silencing that voice -- even temporarily -- has to be the most heinous. Walker climbs into the back. Her face is blackened with soot, but her hair still looks spectacular. Think about this for a minute: Since noon, Renee Walker has been buried alive, swam across the Potomac, and been blown up, as well as taken a helicopter ride or two. What this means is that Walker's hair has literally been through all four elements in the last sixteen hours. And yet she doesn't even need a ponytail holder. Amazing.
She asks what happened, and Macer explains that Tony found Kiefer this way, and his meds weren't on him. Kiefer starts trying to talk, over Macer's objections. "Stop...Tony," he gasps. Walker looks confused, like she wants to say, "What should I stop doing? And I'm not Tony." Kiefer chokes out, "Second man...put out APB." Walker's confused, but she does what he says. Only in complete sentences.
As she rattles off instructions into her walkie-talkie, Tony is approaching a couple of agents listening on their SUV radio, unaware that he is about to double-tap them both. Which he quickly does, and drives off in their vehicle. But unlike Galvez, he's wise enough to rip the GPS transponder unit out from under the dash and throw it into the street before driving off, flashers alight.
Macer tells Kiefer to give himself more time to recover, because her day only started a few hours ago and she doesn't realize there are less than five episodes left so we're going to have to start hurrying things along. You know, since the season has been progressing so slowly up until now. She hands Walker a fresh med packet for Kiefer, since obviously he can't be trusted with them himself. After she leaves to help with the wounded, Kiefer has to tell Walker, "Tony was working with Galvez all along." The soot on Walker's face doesn't hide her anguish as she asks if this means Tony killed Moss. Well, yes, Renee, do try to keep up. Kiefer basically summarizes the A-plot of the hour and apologizes to Walker. "This is my fault. I vouched for him to you, to the president...I made a terrible, terrible mistake." Actually I believe the expression is "I've made a huge mistake," but I shouldn't pile on. "I just wanted to believe," he confesses. Okay, how many more Fox shows is he going to quote before he stops talking? Fortunately, before he can wonder aloud why Tony would "Lie to Me," an agent calls in to let Walker know he's looking at two dead agents and the spot where their vehicle should be, as well as its tracking device. Walker gives the order to widen the perimeter, but Kiefer tells her, "You're not going to find him. He's gone." Pulling out the IV Macer put in him, Kiefer says it's time for them to call Taylor. Wow, that's dedication. I'd be like, "Gee, Renee, I'm really sorry I can't help you tell the president of the United States how thoroughly fucked we are right now, but I shouldn't get up with this IV in my arm." In fact, a cat in my lap would be enough of an excuse for me. It usually is.
Tony drives his stolen FBI SUV into the parking lot of a motel. Two minutes after breaching the perimeter. So clearly, Kiefer was right and widening that perimeter an extra couple of blocks wouldn't have done anything. He knocks on the door of one of the rooms, and who should answer but Galvez, who is all clean and changed already. No sign of the ambulance he hijacked or the dead paramedics, so I can only assume he stashed them under the bed. I also have to assume that he already had this room booked, because he wouldn't have had time to check in since the last time we saw him, even if he hadn't also changed, showered, and created a couple of new openings in the District's EMT corps. As he comes in and sits down, Tony assures him Kiefer isn't going to be a problem, and asks about the canister. "Where's the money?" Galvez asks. Tony sets a slip of paper on the table. An IOU? Is that going to fly? No, actually it's an account number, apparently, and Galvez pulls out his phone to check it at 3:06:22. Satisfied, he pulls the familiar backpack out of the closet and sets it on the dresser. Tony gets up, remembering to grimace from the fresh gunshot wound in his side, and walks over to the bag. Inside it is nothing but a phone book. Is this the start of some puzzle where Tony is supposed to look up the address and phone number of a D.C. citizen by the name of "Variant, Prion" and follow the series of clues that ensues? Probably not, because behind him, Galvez has pulled a gun on him, which is not how most fun scavenger hunts generally begin. "You don't want to do this," Tony says, but Galvez says he wants to know who the buyer is. In answer, Tony swings the empty backpack in his hand, knocking the gun away and getting it out of Galvez's hands. They grapple all the way into the bathroom, where despite having a bullet hole in his side, Tony sends Galvez into a daze with a kick to the head. Then he pulls down the plastic shower curtain over Galvez's face and demands to know where the canister is. Oddly, Galvez isn't telling him, because he's either too stubborn or too busy suffocating. Which would be worse: having your air cut off entirely by a plastic motel shower curtain, or having to breathe through a cloth motel shower curtain? Either way it's win-win for Tony.
In the Oval Office, Tim from Homeland Security is telling Taylor that the soldier transporting Hodges not only noticed him swallowing the pill, but got it out of him before getting to the hospital. Which is not what we saw last week, but whatever. It's the senioritis phase of the season for everyone. Taylor asks how Hodges got the pill in the first place, and Tim tells her about the Faux-yer, who they figured out was an imposter when the police found the body of the real lawyer five minutes ago. Inside her house. How nosy are D.C. cops, anyway? It's not like they're having a slow night, either. The speakerphone beeps in to say that Kiefer and Walker are on the line, and Taylor orders, "Put them through," before it's finished speaking. Sorry you're not more interesting, Tim. I think my favorite thing about him is the way he always tries to downplay his shortness by tilting his head to the side when he looks up at people. Try not noticing that from now on.
Standing outside at the scene of her defeat with Kiefer and her cell phone, Walker tells Taylor that the suspect breached the perimeter. Taylor of course wants to know how that happened. "He had help, Madam President," Kiefer says. "From Tony Almeida." Taylor is confused, so Kiefer explains that Tony was bad all along. He also apologizes to her for vouching for Tony. "All I can tell you right now is I was wrong and I'm sorry." Yeah, he's lucky she doesn't order him arrested on the spot. Instead, Tim asks what leads they have, but they have to reply that they've got nothing. "I may have one," Taylor offers, and tells them about Hodges's claims of a larger conspiracy during his arrest. "Someone doesn't want Hodges to talk," she adds, and Tim explains about the suicide pill. "Obviously they're holding something over him, most likely his family," Kiefer says, which means they might have some leverage. Taylor is still not on board with whatever coercive tactics she thinks Kiefer has in mind, but Kiefer's not suggesting that. "We can offer Hodges something that he needs...proof of death. It's the only way Hodges can protect his family." Will Hodges's family also have to think that he's dead, and never be able to see him again? And if so, has anyone considered the possibility that they're the ones who were behind this?
That's a busy motel room, as the Faux-yer -- now freed of her blonde wig and showing her natural red-brown hair -- knocks on the door at 3:09:46. Tony's friendly with her as he lets her in, but when she takes in the cooling corpse of Galvez in the bathroom, she severely says, "I'll assume that was necessary." "Don't start with me," Tony says. "I'm not in the mood." And he's still got that shower curtain, so look out. Tony says Galvez hid the canister, "So I had to find out where it was." Good thing Tony checked the peephole before opening the door on a room with the cover off the wall A/C unit and a bioweapon clearly visible inside. He pulls it out, and she gives him a change of clothes, saying they have a delivery to make. But Tony doesn't think they should go. "They're gonna take this canister that I sweated blood for, and sit on it for six months." Yes, Tony, it's all about you. She says they'll use it to make more, but Tony thinks one canister is enough. "The government's reeling. The FBI's stretched thin, scrambling, making mistakes. Another attack today is all we need to push this thing right over the edge." What thing? And what edge? It's all so mysterious. She gently touches his face and says she doesn't disagree, but it's not up to them. "Then run it by your group or your gang or whatever the hell they are," Tony says. "But they'll know one thing: you finish your enemy off when he's down, you don't let him get back up and reload. I guarantee you, this thing's going to be a hell of a lot harder to pull off six months from now." And that's not even taking into account the fact that Kiefer's going to have the canister back within the five hours. As for Hodges, Tony continues, "The fact is he gave us an opportunity today. Let's take it." She agrees to contact the group. Or, as I will now begin calling them, The Group. Hey, I've got senioritis too, okay? It's 3:11:56.
3:16:22. Aaron escorts a clearly upset Olivia to the Oval Office and ushers her inside to join Taylor and Tim. Olivia's already heard that the canister's out, and when she asks what's being done to get it back, Taylor excuses Tim from the room. Taylors only. Taylor tells Olivia to have the Attorney General draft a witness protection agreement for Jonas Hodges. Olivia is horrified at the idea, and offers an alternative: "Designate him an enemy combatant then treat him like one," she snarls. Taylor says she doesn't play that way, and besides, Hodges will "be under federal supervision for the rest of his life." "Oh, yeah, on a hundred-acre ranch in Colorado," Olivia says bitterly. Why Colorado? Is the Logan ranch not available? "This man murdered your son!" she reminds Taylor. "My brother. Not to mention hundreds of other innocent civilians." Taylor doesn't want to discuss this, but Olivia doesn't care. "What would Dad say?" she demands. Knowing Henry, probably "Ohh, oww, [gasp] owwww [coma]." Taylor is tearing up as she tells Olivia to knock it off. "Do you think that this is easy for me? You think it doesn't tear me apart? I'm Roger's mother. But I am also the president of the United States, and I placed my hand on a Bible and swore to protect and defend the Constitution." Didn't stop some other people. Taylor tells her daughter to start acting like a Chief of Staff already. I have an urgent question: is it too late to bring back Ethan? Taylor stands and says that Hodges is at the FBI and Kiefer's on his way there too. "I need an agreement drafted. Do that, please." Uh-oh, she forgot to tell Olivia not to do it with her fingers crossed.
In the motel room, Galvez is still dead on the bathroom floor as the Faux-yer is on the phone to The Group at 3:19:14. She's got a web-enabled conference call going, with her laptop on the table right to the canister. Don't tell me she wasn't tempted to send out a gloating Tweet about that: "Faux-yer Hey, @j_bauer, guess what I'm looking at! HA-hah!" She explains the plan to The Group: "An attack today, this morning, during rush hour, using the bioweapon that Tony Almeida retrieved from Starkwood." Sounds simple enough. She has them open a data file she sent along with the call, and up pops the expired visa of one Jibraan Al-Zarian, who they'll blame and leave dead at the scene. "The evidence trail implicating him will include fabricated e-mails, phone records, and a large wire transfer to his account, via our favorite Yemeni bank." Well that certainly sounds easy to pull together in a matter of hours. One of the people on the call, identifiable on the Faux-yer's monitor screen only as a silhouette and the number 3, has some skeptical questions, as do some others. Will Patton (a.k.a. Alan Wilson) is also on the call, but he's just lurking for now. While other members voice their objections, she types a private IM to Wilson: "Weigh in." The other members continue to debate, while the real discussion is happening in a secret chat window. Wilson responds that it's risky, but she types back, "Almeida delivered for us. Do it for me." So Wilson cuts in. He lies, "I've listened to your comments," and echoes what Tony said earlier about Hodges. "In his lunacy, he did us a favor...he pushed this country to the brink. You don't get many gifts like that. I say we take it." Is it a coincidence that Wilson kind of talks like a cult leader? The Faux-yer calls for a vote, and people click on their computers. Tony comes out of the shower -- presumably having had to step over Galvez on his way out -- and she tells him to check out the results. It's a unanimous yes, because the Faux-yer's personal appeal and Wilson's speech were all it took to win everyone over. What kind of democracy are we looking at here? "We're a go," she smiles up at Tony, and they make out. It's 3:22:32.
At 3:26:54, a helicopter lifts off from the FBI-DC helipad, apparently having just dropped off Kiefer and Walker. Janis leads them down the stairwell, telling them they already have Hodges all tucked into an interrogation room that they've converted to a medical suite. And converted it awfully quickly, I might add. As she lets them into an observation room, she adds that the death certificate is covered. "As far as the world knows, he's molding on a slab at the coroner's." The speed of the death certificate alone should be enough to raise red flags, actually. "Keep it that way," Kiefer says as he goes inside. Walker confirms with Janis that no one else knows, other than the medical team, ambulance driver, and three security people. And, from what we're about to see, a rather large AV department. Before Walker follows Kiefer in, Janis quietly voices her concern to Walker about whether Kiefer's up for this. And she doesn't mean the seizure. "His former partner betrays him, tries to have you all killed. Jack must have some feelings about that," Janis points out. Walker agrees. "I think that's what's keeping him going," she says as she precedes Janis into the observation room. Oh, well, that's okay then.
Inside, Hodges can be seen on live video monitors, lying in a hospital bed and, as always, ranting away at the cameras. "You didn't save me, you killed my family!" is the general thrust of his current filibuster. Watching through the two-way glass, Kiefer asks how long he's been awake. Janis says ten minutes. "He's been talking about his family ever since." Those must have been ten very long minutes for Janis. She points out the "highly sophisticated" biometric monitoring equipment that's been set up in a matter of minutes, which, as far as I can tell, consists of one monitor that shows Hodges's face in what's probably supposed to be heat-sensitive imaging, but just looks like a color-saturated music video from the 80s, circa Duran Duran or Power Station. However, Walker seems to think it'll tell them if Hodges is lying. Assuming he doesn't know how to fool the machines, that is. After all, some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on. Before Kiefer goes in, Janis warns him that Taylor will be watching. The part where she says, "so behave, you" goes unspoken.
Inside, Hodges turns to the soldier posted to his bed and begs him for his sidearm so he can shoot himself. Despite having had to listen to Hodges's rantings all this time, the soldier is slow to comply. I would have been like, "Actually, I was just about to shoot myself, but your plan is much better." But unfortunately, it's time for Kiefer's dramatic entrance line. "Relax, Mr. Hodges. You're already dead," he intones from the shadows near the door. Kiefer excuses the sergeant, and Hodges peers into the gloom, asking, "Who are you?" Kiefer steps into view, saying, "My name is Jack Bauer, and right now I'm the only chance your wife and children have to stay alive." Kiefer explains that nobody knows Hodges survived, and if he tells Kiefer who wants him dead, it'll stay that way. "The president has agreed to provide you with a death certificate and witness protection in exchange for actionable information." Watching this live in the Oval Office with Taylor and Tim, Olivia gets up and storms out in a snit. So she misses the part where Kiefer will tell the press that Hodges is alive if he doesn't cooperate. "We'll let your friends take care of the rest," he sneers. Hodges says Taylor doesn't have the stomach for that, but Kiefer leans over Hodges's face and says that even if Taylor doesn't, he certainly does. "I am...I was part of a larger group of like minds," Hodges says. Unhinged ones? Kiefer asks if he means other companies like Starkwood, and Hodges, says, "I mean people who can protect this country better than any government ever could." Unimpressed, Kiefer pushes Hodges to get more specific, since he's talking about a pool of tens of thousands of people. "Only a handful with the guts and the vision to do what was necessary," Hodges says. Which is? "The plan was to launch simultaneous attacks early year. Multiple cities so the people would see that the government can't protect them. They'd demand drastic measures and we'd step in." Wow, that is diabolically...moronic. Kiefer asks how that would be justified, and Hodges says they'd simply pin it on someone else. "Mohammed this, Ahmed that, from sleeper cells the apologists say don't even exist." And he didn't think anyone would connect those attacks to the very same biological weapon he just threatened Taylor with tonight? The same one he and his company developed, which even in his scenario in which everyone in the world is even stupider than he is and thus would buy this story, "Mohammed This" and "Ahmed That" never would have gotten a hold of anyway, because it wouldn't have existed? Yes, I'm sure Starkwood's "protection" would have been very much in demand then. Jesus, Hodges, we knew you were crazy, but we had no idea how spectacularly dumb you are.
"You of all people should understand," Hodges tells Kiefer, overestimating the damage that the pathogen has done to Kiefer's brain. Hodges starts to get under Kiefer's skin as he says that he watched the hearings that morning. "You should be regarded as a hero, not a criminal." "I broke the law," Kiefer points out, not liking to agree with Hodges on anything, up to and including his own awesomeness. "You were following your instinct to protect your country. Just like me," Hodges claims. Bored with this, Kiefer demands names. Instead, Hodges laments his lot in life some more, now that he's got an audience again. "The government used us to great effect, and now they think they can just throw us away." Kiefer asks if this is really about money. Hodges says, "I tried to tell the politicians how vulnerable we are, but they wouldn't listen, so we decided to show them." "By attacking your own country with a biological weapon? By killing innocent people?" Kiefer asks incredulously. Hodges claims it was for the greater good. Hmm, who else is a big fan of the greater good? Hodges doesn't make us puzzle that out for long. "Having the courage to make those hard choices gives us a lot in common, Mr. Bauer," he says. Kiefer takes extreme exception to that, as he should. After all, he never took things quite so far as to prove threats against the country by manufacturing them, let alone carrying them out. "All that you have done today is create a scenario by attacking your own country that has made you valuable again," Kiefer says. "Today has been nothing short of a desperate grab for power, and it has failed. You have failed." Once again he asks for names, and Hodges yells that he doesn't know any. So Kiefer dials his cell phone and says, "Patch me through to Amy Meyer at the Washington Post." Of course he's bluffing, because he just dialed Walker's phone, and plus whatever State of Play may or may not want us to believe, I don't think you can get a newspaper reporter on the line at 3:30 in the morning. But he sells it pretty hard. "Amy, it's Jack, I have a statement I need to make," he says. Hodges desperately begs him to wait, and again swears he doesn't have any names. "We never met in person." So how did this group get together in the first place? Ads in Soldier of Fortune magazine? A flyer on the bulletin board at the shooting range? Free Republic.com? "Everything was handled through an intermediary," Hodges says. "A woman. She never told me who she was. Se never told me her name. I never asked her." He confirms that it's the same woman who gave him the suicide pill. So how do the members of this Group know they can trust each other when they don't even know who the rest of them are? Hell, for all we know, half of them probably think they're playing some elaborate online game. Walker looks at the monitors and taps on the one-way glass. After pretending to let his fake WaPo reporter off the line but before leaving the room, Kiefer tells Hodges, "You tell yourself whatever you want. You are a traitor." Hodges reminds Kiefer of the witness protection deal, and Kiefer leaves the room. Oddly, he forgets to stick his head back in and ask, "So, when your guys were working on that pathogen, they didn't happen to stumble on antidote or anything, did they?"
In the observation room, he checks with Taylor to make sure she got all that, and Walker confirms that the biometrics indicate truthfulness. Either that or Hodges's real name is Rio and he dances on the sand. Kiefer says it looks like the plan is still on. "You should proceed under the assumption that they might strike immediately." Tim recalls the timetable Hodges mentioned, but Kiefer points out, "Given the chaos that he created today, the smart strategic move would be to act right now." He thinks the canister is still in the area, so he wants Homeland to "start identifying and raiding targets." Uh, and how are they going to do that? Short of skipping the "identifying" part? He and Walker agree that their best lead is to start with people with terrorist ties. "We need to make an immediate threat assessment with focus on all known terrorist activity. The fastest way to get that information is to gain access to the CTU servers that have been sealed as a result of Senator Mayer's investigation." Which I'm sure are totally up to date and compatible with FBI systems, and, oh yeah, IN LOS ANGELES. Taylor quickly agrees to have them brought online right away. "And consider the resources of this government at your disposal, Jack." Ooh, wouldn't Hodges just shit if he heard her say that. Kiefer thanks her and tells Walker to get on that. Luckily, the servers just happen to be stored in DOJ evidence lockers on the third floor, right there in the building! How spectacularly convenient. See what I mean about hurrying things along? On her way out, Walker offers to let him tell the incoming shift of analysts what they're looking for, but of course Kiefer's got his own analyst in mind. Once alone in the observation room, he dials his cell phone.
In a hotel room somewhere, another cell phone rings on a night stand. It belongs to Chloe, who's sleeping in her clothes above the covers, to little Prescott, who's tucked in beside her. Morris is crashed out on the fold-out couch, barefoot but also dressed. Chloe answers, and sits up in a hurry when she hears Kiefer's voice. She says she's been trying to get through to him all night, without success. "Is it true about Bill?" she asks. Kiefer says it is, and adds, "Bill sacrificed his life to save the president." Chloe makes a face like, Big deal, I didn't vote for her anyway. He tells her that he expects a biological attack in the area soon, and in order to stop it he needs her help to reconstitute the CTU servers, which he says she'll have access to by the time she gets there. She asks who's behind this, and he's pretty cagey for now, saying he's sending a car to her hotel. She glances over to her sleeping son and reluctantly agrees.
After she hangs up, she steps into her shoes and walks around the bed to give her sleeping son a cuddle. Then she goes to Morris to wake him. "Are you speaking to me again, then?" he asks instantly, demonstrating that snark really is his natural state. Chloe explains that she has to go, and she needs Morris to take the kid out of the city. He wants them all to go, but she refuses. "FBI needs me," she says. He reminds her that she got arrested last time she went to help them out, but she insists she's the only one who can do it. Morris doesn't want to leave her in range of a biological attack. She hugs him and says, "Jack needs me, and I just need for you and Prescott to be safe." Morris agrees, tells her to be careful, and kisses her goodbye. She grabs her purse and goes. So I guess he'll do the packing up, then. It's 3:37:25.
Now it's 3:41:52, and a meeting in the FBI-DC conference room is about to get started. Kiefer finishes giving himself a fresh injection and enters just in time to take the floor from Walker. "I know many of you have lost friends and colleagues today," he speechifies. "I have too. Unfortunately, the time to mourn these brave men and women is going to have to wait." So get to it then, already. He tells them about the incredibly vague threat they're facing, about which they currently have precisely dick in the way of leads. A red-haired Field Ops guy asks who's behind it, and Kiefer goes over to the big screen to pull up photos of Tony and the Faux-yer, shown in her blonde wig on the White House security camera. "We're still trying to identify her," Kiefer says, without explaining why that's taking the 24-verse equivalent of four months. As for what they do have, Kiefer explains, "Right now we are solely working off an operational theory that the people that are behind this will need to manufacture evidence in an effort to offload the blame for this attack. Either another group or an individual with terrorist sympathies. During the ensuing panic, these people will move in and seize power under the guise of creating and maintaining stability." Wow, that's not how Hodges put it at all. It sounds so much more cynical in Kiefer's words. Anyway, Walker says they need to look for that manufactured evidence. How, asks Janis. Walker starts rattling off some scary-sounding ideas (as Kiefer is handed a note and leaves the room), until Janis interrupts, "Not only is that type of blanket surveillance illegal, we don't have the capacity to pull it off. The search algorithms simply don't exist." Walker says CTU has them, and when Janis points out that CTU doesn't exactly exist any more either, Walker says they're digging the servers out of mothballs and having them installed now. And indeed, when Janis looks out the glass wall of the conference room, she sees a tech messing around with shrink-wrapped servers and running cables up into the ceiling. Wow, these servers are so fast they practically install themselves. Still, Janis isn't pleased. "What does that make us, CTU Lite?" she asks. "Last I head, the Bureau was a federal entity, bound by federal statute." Walker rather coldly tells Janis, "Do this or I will find someone else who will. I do not have time to argue." Try using contractions, then. Janis says she's just asking, but Walker doesn't have time for that either. "Moving on," she bulldozes.
A uniformed guard escorts Chloe up to Kiefer in the hallway, and they have their annual hug. "You look like hell. Are you all right?" she asks. Kiefer claims to just be a little tired, and after they walk along talking about the CTU servers for a moment, Kiefer stops to break some news to her: Tony's the big bad. Chloe doesn't believe it. "I know he was devastated over Michelle, but..." "Tony is not your friend," Kiefer interrupts. Nice use of the singular. "The Tony that you knew? He doesn't exist any more." Chloe insists there must be a reason. "A reason for what?" Kiefer asks. "Bringing down two passenger planes? Trying to ambush 25 federal agents? Chloe, he tried to kill me. He betrayed us all. You, me, and Bill." He seems pretty sure Tony wasn't just maintaining his cover. Kiefer wants to know Chloe is with him. So she agrees to do whatever he says. "No," he insists, "I need to know that you are with me on this." Whatever that means, and however it's different from what she just said, she agrees to it.
A white sedan pulls up outside a brownstone apartment building with Tony at the wheel and the Faux-yer in the shotgun seat at 3:46:13. Holding her laptop open, the Faux-yer reminds us and Tony that their target is Jibraan Al-Zarian, a 27-year-old construction worker with an expired visa. No ties to extremist groups, but she says his parents were killed in American air raids on the Pakistani border when he was 11, and he's been raising his younger brother ever since. "Fits the psych profile," Tony says. Here's another thing about Jibraan Al-Zarian that I'm probably the only viewer to notice: his name sounds exactly like "Alzarian," which is what the character Adric from old-school Doctor Who was. And an Alzarian is a humanoid alien with the ability to heal amazingly quickly after being wounded. So Jibraan Al-Zarian should fit in on 24 just fine.
Inside, Jibraan is already awake, making breakfast, so clearly he's on the early shift. He's also watching Fox News. So much for the psych profile. His beard and glasses make him look professorial, but his wife-beater and arms...don't. The younger brother rolls out of bed, and a discussion about breakfast reveals that the elder brother has a foreign accent, while the younger looks and sounds completely American. Jibraan also tells his brother to come straight home after work. "It's not a good day to be a Muslim," he explains. The younger brother points out that not only are Muslims innocent in this, everyone thinks he's Puerto Rican anyway. All this character exposition of course more than justifies why these two have to be awake before four AM instead of being just rousted out of their beds at the end of the episode.
Outside, another sedan pulls in behind Tony and the Faux-yer. "About time, Tony grumbles. Yes, they've been sitting there for over two minutes. Everyone gets out of their cars and heads for the building with intent. Intent, and duffle bags. It's 3:48:22.
At 3:52:45, Aaron lets himself into Olivia's office and finds her looking over a document. Apparently the A.G. sent him to see where Olivia was on reviewing said document. She asks Aaron if he knows what it is, and gets choked up as she says, "It's a get out of jail free card for Jonas Hodges. The bastard responsible for my brother's death? And so many others." Aaron unwisely says he doesn't understand. "Mr. Hodges died in the hospital," he says. Olivia says, not so much, "While my brother lies in his grave in Arlington Cemetery." Could you make this more about you, Olivia? "Does that sound like justice to you, Aaron?" she whines. He allows that it doesn't, but he's sure it was hard for the president to make that decision. Olivia doesn't think she can live with it. Aaron says, "Ms. Taylor, I have seen the guilty walk free many times. I understand your anger and frustration and I am genuinely sorry." That's what she needs to hear, and she hands him the document. He pauses at the door and asks if there's anything else he can do. "Other than kill Jonas Hodges, no," she says. Aaron goes all, Awkward. Olivia realizes how that sounded, and says she was just venting. "Ma'am," he says politely as he leaves the room. And the whole time he's thinking, Didn't I retire? I mean, seriously, what the fuck. Or maybe that's just me.
But was she really venting? Well, she whips out her cell phone and dials a number. After all, it's been hours since she fucked something up for her mom. Elsewhere in town, H!ITG Leland Orser turns on his bedside light and answers his ringing cell phone. It really is the dead of night, now that we've seen a fourth person on this show sleeping in the same hour. "Martin? It's Olivia Taylor. Did I wake you?" He manages not to say "Derr." She says she wasn't expecting to catch him at home, which is kind of a weird thing to say after calling someone's cell phone. She thought he was working on some campaign in Florida. But as he takes a sip from a bedside glass of wine or something (?), he says, "Let's just say my methods were a little hardball for the governor's taste." Speaking of hard, he's in bed with another dude, so you know that on this show he's going to turn out to be either a coward or totally evil. He climbs out of bed and asks what she needs. She wants to meet, but says she can't talk about it over the phone. "It's the middle of the night, you know? You gotta do better than that." So she reminisces with him about a time when they were working on her mom's campaign and a local reporter was sniffing around the then-not-yet-veep's prescription drug issues. As though his accent issues weren't more of a deal-breaker. Olivia recalls, "You turned to me and said, there was no problem that couldn't be handled or eliminated." Somehow that convinces him to agree to be at the White House in fifteen minutes. What, is there a dead reporter somewhere? She hangs up, gasping at her own whatever.
At 3:57:16, it's a pretty busy scene at FBI-DC, and Chloe and Janis are having a pissing contest over getting the CTU servers set up. Oh, and lest you were fanwanking that these came from CTU's Washington D.C. office, it becomes clear that these are the very same machines that Chloe used to work on back in L.A. "Before you guys confiscated them," she snots at Janis, like it's her fault. "Maybe you'd like to take over," Janis offers. "Only if you want it to work right," Chloe shrugs. Janis tells Chloe that she's not comfortable with this. "I agreed to it but I don't like it." Chloe asks what her problem is. "Uh, well the Bill of Rights being violated, for one," she says. "So if you're going to be doing anything grossly illegal, please--" from nearby, Kiefer overheard and cuts in, "We'll be sure to notify you so you can leave the building." Oh, Kiefer, cut her some slack. She's already tangled with the Justice Department about some shit she's gotten into today, if by "tangled" you mean "sat around worrying about how much trouble she was in for an hour or two until the guy from the A.G.'s office got bored and wandered off." A moment later, the servers come online, and the monitor in front of Janis displays the old, familiar CTU splash-screen. As does every other monitor in sight. Is that how that would work? Because I'm no tech guru, but this seems a little unlikely to me. thing you know the phones are going to start ringing with the familiar "dit-dit...DEEE-doot" chime. "Hello, Big Brother," Janis murmurs, and Kiefer stomps over to get in her face. "Look, if you think your need to complain is more important than the lives of the people counting on us, GO WHINE SOMEWHERE ELSE!" Whoa! Chloe tries to call Kiefer off, but he won't be called off. "President David Palmer recommissioned these servers because he felt it was vital to national security!" he rages into Janis's face, while she just nods at the crazy. "President Palmer made the call! Is that going to be good enough for you? ANSWER ME!" Janis manages to murmur a totally cowed affirmative, and Kiefer walks away, all twitchy, sitting down at a workstation. A freaked-out Chloe obviouses to an even-more-freaked-out Janis, "There's something really wrong with him. He said President Palmer." Janis says he meant Taylor. "He said it twice," Chloe points out. Janis doesn't say a word. So clearly, the issue with Kiefer is not that he was just a total asshat to someone who, unlike him, actually gets paid to work there, but that while doing so he forgot who the president was. Although maybe that's intentional. Just when you think this show is starting to drift to the left by addressing climate change and stem cells, suddenly it throws a bone to its right-wing base by having the hero scream at Janeane Garofalo.
Splitscreen. Kiefer sits and covers his face, Olivia thinks about whatever evil plan she just put in motion, and Hodges awaits his fate in his FBI hospital bed.
Jibraan and his brother are cleaning up after their ridiculously early breakfast when their lights go out. Jibraan digs out a flashlight to go check out the fuse box, because apparently the tenants have access to those in D.C. apartments. While the brother's alone in the kitchen, one of the goons appears out of the darkness to grab him. But he gets away long enough to yell Jibraan's name, at least. Nice work, goon. When the brother makes a break for the apartment door and pulls it open, Tony and the Faux-yer are standing out in the hallway with guns leveled at him. The goon clubs the brother down from behind. Too little too late, dude. It must be so hard to find quality help when your employees aren't allowed to know who you are. Jibraan comes out of the back room, just in time to be grabbed by Tony, who sticks his gun in his face. "Keep your mouth shut, no one gets hurt," Tony lies. Jibraan has a lot of questions, and they're rather loud ones, but Tony doesn't feel like satisfying his curiosity at this point. "One more word, I put a bullet in your brain," he threatens. "You understand? YOU UNDERSTAND!" "Yes, yes!" Jibraan says. Apparently those words didn't count, because Tony does not put a bullet in his brain. It's 4:00:00.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.Watch full episodes of 24 for free on TWoP.