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Now that Audrey's been fingered as a suspect in the conspiracy, emotions are running rather high at CTU. Although Kiefer believes Audrey was set up, he intimidates her into confessing a brief yet icky affair with the late Walt Cummings and nothing more. Hayes sees that when it comes to interrogating people he cares about, Kiefer chokes. So she sends in Burke the Incompetent New Torture Guy. Kiefer and Chloe find evidence that Collette Stenger lied about her connection to Audrey. That invalidates Collette's immunity agreement, and Kiefer forces her to give up what she knows about where Bierko plans to deliver the nerve gas: it's a natural gas distribution center somewhere in L.A., although she doesn't know which one. It may be time to consider cooking with electric. Through Edgar's replacement, a dewy ingénue, we're supposed to think that Slime is even more hateful than we already did, but after she figures out which gas plant is Bierko's target, it becomes clear that it's the writers who are hateful.
No Logans this week. Aaron becomes worried that Wayne Palmer is late for their secret appointment, so he ventures into the hitman-riddled woods surrounding Not Camp David to rescue his late ex-boss's brother. Kiefer also rescues Audrey from Burke, but not before her day and her hair are both ruined, and they have an inexcusably schmoopy reunion under the circumstances. At the gas company, Kiefer, Curtis, and their CTU sidekicks take out most of the bad guys, leaving only Bierko to release the nerve gas into the homes of thousands of paying utility customers. But before the Sentox can get that far, Kiefer blows a hole in the main pipeline, thwarting the evil plan while effectively turning the entire facility into a giant grenade with the pin out. So then of course he runs back in to chase down Bierko, and the two grapple while the place blows the fuck up around them all Star Trek III at the stroke of 9:59:56. And then Kiefer's not even in the previews for week, which totally means he's probably dead. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
We open on the CTU floor as the camera tracks Chloe, galumphing along in medium range, leaving the shot to focus on Buchanan and Hayes conferring in the distance, to Audrey's profile, rightinourfaces, wearing her glasses and looking totally innocent as she works. As you do. Film school exercise over, Buchanan circles around and catches up with Chloe, asking her to check into Audrey's background over the past eighteen months, particularly any connections to Henderson or to Walt Cummings. Chloe of course wants to ask a lot of questions, but Buchanan tells her to do it quickly. One might expect Chloe to go straight to Audrey after that, but Buchanan does instead, telling Audrey she's being taken into custody. Not wasting any time, I see. Two white-shirted security guards (must be Homeland Security guys, which explains why they look like the people who run the metal detectors at the airport) appear on cue, but before they can drag her back to Holding, Audrey drags a partial explanation out of Buchanan: Collette Stenger named Audrey as her source for information that she then passed to Bierko. As she's frog-marched to an interrogation room, Audrey has one more question for Buchanan: "Does Jack know I'm being detained?" Buchanan says that Kiefer not only knows, he sanctioned it. Oh, so Kiefer's not only working for CTU again, he's sanctioning shit now?
And if you think the news of Audrey's disgrace traveled fast, it didn't travel any more quickly than Kiefer himself did. He's already back at CTU -- in the building, no less -- with Curtis and the rest of his field team, Collette in tow. Apparently CTU and Van Nuys Airport share a parking lot. You'd think Collette would have been more careful than that. She's still sticking to her story that Audrey was her contact, even claiming that they met face-to-face. Kiefer whirls Collette against the wall again and threatens, "If you are lying to me, I'm gonna make this the worst day of your life, you understand me?" Way to give her even more motivation to stick to her story, there, Master Interrogator.
Presumably Collette and Audrey are going to two different holding rooms, because we're joining the latter in her cell right now. No sooner has she been buzzed in than a technician rolls in a torture cart, making sure she can see it as it goes past her. She looks very worried indeed. See, this is why living in a country that tortures people is a bad thing. Sooner or later, the people who argue most strongly against the practice are going to have it turned on them. Of course, so will the people who are powerfully in favor of it, as well as those who don't really seem to have an opinion. It doesn't really matter what you do; eventually the law of averages is going to catch up to you. Something to look forward to.
My hands are still doing that thing where they uncontrollably clench into fists every time Slime is onscreen. Makes him very hard to recap. He's in the Situation Room with Buchanan, Hayes, and Burke the Torture Guy. Buchanan is arguing that having Burke question Audrey is unnecessary this early on, but Hayes is covering her ass and saying they need "a more aggressive approach." The word is torture! Say "torture," you fucking cowards! Christ. Buchanan says they should do the same to Collette, but Hayes says Collette's immunity agreement protects her, unless of course her information turns out to be false. Remember that. Buchanan's still not happy, but Slime points that under the circumstances, Hayes needs to cover her ass. That would be his argument.
But before she can state her decision, Kiefer comes in and asks what Burke's doing there. Hayes explains that they were discussing authorizing "a medical interrogation." TORTURE! Kiefer is shocked: "Burke? He sucks at it!" Not really. He simply says, "That's ridiculous. I'll handle the interrogation." Maybe if he'd taken just the teensiest breath between those two statements, I wouldn't be laughing so hard right now. Hayes shuts the idea right down, pointing out Kiefer's emotional involvement with the suspect. "That has nothing to do with this," Kiefer claims, his pants leaving a wicked phosphor burn on my picture tube. Hayes wraps a sarcastic talon around his jugular: "That's right. You always put the work first? You never let your feelings get involved? Is that what happened with Nina Myers?" Kiefer looks over at Buchanan, who just looks back all, You're on your own now, dude. Kiefer defensives that Nina fooled a lot of people (most of whom are dead now, thanks for asking), and Hayes says that Audrey might well be doing the same thing. Kiefer concedes that particular point, but reminds Hayes that Audrey's dad is the Secretary of Defense, and if Hayes tortures SecDef's daughter/senior adviser and turns out to be wrong, "he will eat you alive." Because of course the halls of CTU are littered with the corpses of the people who authorized the torture of the Secretary's other child last season. But this argument appears to be the first thing to give Hayes pause, and even Slime keeps his loathsome yap shut. Buchanan steps in to offer a compromise: "At least let Jack talk to Audrey ten minutes first." Hayes gives the okay, with one proviso: "At the first sign you're less than objective, you're out." For some reason, Kiefer looks across the table at Slime, who just looks back at him with purse-lipped contempt. In a remarkable display of restraint, Kiefer not only refrains from leaping over into Slime's face, but merely grunts, "Understood," on his way out.
Commercials. Now, if Michael Douglas's part in The Sentinel were being played by Peter Weller, I'd...well, I'm kind of already recapping that, aren't I?
9:14:03. On the CTU floor, a red-haired ingénue -- played by Ennis's daughter in Brokeback Mountain, and I hope that's not a spoiler for anyone, that Ennis ends up with a daughter -- nervously presents herself before Chloe, who gets in one needlessly bitchy crack before the poor girl manages to explain that she's been called up from downstairs to take Edgar's place. Okay, so the nerve gas killed everyone at CTU who wasn't in the Situation Room, the upper offices, Medical, Holding Room Four, and now downstairs? Shari expresses her sympathies over Edgar's loss, and Chloe manages to impersonate a human being long enough to turn away from her monitor and say, "Thanks." She directs the new girl, Shari, to Edgar's old desk, which I guess Slime is done with, and gives her some instructions in technobabble. Shari seems to understand Chloe's bizarre moon lingo, though, and turns back towards Edgar's desk. But the sight of Slime lurking nearby draws her up short. He spots her as well, and freezes. The moment's broken when his cell phone rings and he goes off to answer it. I'd speculate that there's some history between those two, but then, it's Slime. Mutual hatred on sight is probably a perfectly normal reaction.
Audrey's alone in her interrogation room, pacing nervously. Kiefer comes in, and she's so relieved to see him, but that relief is short-lived when all he does is growl at her, "Sit down." Quickly realizing the score, she gets submissive in a hurry and takes a seat at 9:15:46. He's all business as he asks her if she's ever had contact with Collette, which she of course denies. She makes the mistake of telling Kiefer he's wasting time, and he warns her that he's only there because he asked. "I have a job to do. If I don't do it, Burke will, and I promise you, you do not want to see him walk through that door." Yeah, look what happened to the last guy Burke worked on, who is currently free as...a...okay, bad example. Audrey gets cooperative again, but her patience quickly runs out when she learns that her accuser doesn't even know what Audrey is supposed to have sold her. Kiefer warns, "We're not ignoring any leads," and asks how Collette got her name in the first place. Audrey doesn't know, but she points out that she's not exactly low-profile. Which is a good point. Arrest me as a terror suspect and see how fast I roll over on, say, Paul Wolfowitz. But Audrey's referring to her relationship to Secretary of Defense Heller, which prompts Kiefer to ask, "Is he involved?" Obvious trap, and Audrey just gets all sad and disappointed as she says Kiefer knows Heller better than that. "I would never involve him in--God-dammit!" Not really. She denies any involvement by either of them. Kiefer drops a couple of photos in front of her: Henderson and Walt Cummings. She says she'd never heard of Henderson until earlier today, and that she met Walt a couple of times before. She stutters more or less equally through both statements. Kiefer's got his back to her as he asks where Audrey met Walt, and she claims it was only at DoD briefings. Kiefer looks very sad, like he was hoping she was going to make this easy, and now he's going to have to be a gigantic dribbling asshole to her.
"Are you sure?" he asks slowly, still not looking at her, and Audrey completely fails to read the room as she sticks to her story. Which is when Kiefer turns and drops a folder on the table in front of her. "Open it," he says. With shaky fingers, Audrey does so, and she knows she's busted. She tries to play it off, like she and Walt just happened to run into each other at the hotel. But Kiefer gets in her face and forces her to confess that their genitals also ran into each other. Okay, I just grossed myself out. "I was still recovering from losing you, Jack," Audrey says, adding that Walt had just separated from his wife. Nice of the writers to remember that he had one of those there at the last second. Kiefer asks why she broke it off, and she reluctantly says, "Because he wasn't you." No, despite all of Walt's faults, I can't see him locking Audrey in a small room and refusing to let her leave until she answered a bunch of nosy-ass questions to his satisfaction. Kiefer stares at her impassively while she looks back all, "What, nothing from that? Huh? Jeez, tough room." But she ain't seen nothing yet, because now is when Kiefer asks a much tougher question: "Why did you lie to me?" She says she didn't want him to think less of her for sleeping with someone who turned out to be a traitor. Kiefer then backs off a bit and asks if she spent any more time with Cummings that didn't involve...you know. Coming. I just grossed myself out again. He peppers her with questions, but she doesn't have anything to add to what she's already told him. So then he pulls his big trademark theatrical move of hurling the table aside so he can get right at his subject. You know, those tables look quite a bit heavier than Kiefer is, so I wonder if they're springloaded somehow. I hope so, because that means it's only a matter of time before some lucky suspect finds the secret release catch, triggering this scene:
Kiefer: I am running out of time here. Now you are going to tell me what I need to know, and you're going t--
*klik*
SPROING!
CRASH!
[Suspect escapes]
Kiefer [crying]: Medic!
But that's a scene for another episode, because in this one, Kiefer hauls Audrey out of her chair by the throat and presses her against the wall, screaming at her to tell him the truth. She starts to protest again, but this time he's in a position to cut off her words simply by squeezing. What a gentleman. They are totally never going to get back together after this ugly scene. "Do what you have to do," she whispers with what little air he's leaving her. Damn, do her knees not work or something? He's leaving his groin completely open. But he finally seems to decide they've both had enough, and he lets her go. "This is over, do you understand?" he bellows at the surveillance camera.
But Hayes disagrees. She's been watching with Buchanan in his office, and she's not satisfied that Kiefer "pushed" Audrey hard enough. What, you wanted her to go through the wall? Despite Buchanan's arguments, she orders Burke sent in to do his thing. I don't think Buchanan's a bad guy, but I'd be a lot more impressed if he told Hayes to do it her own damn self. It's 9:20:27.
Chloe gets off the phone with someone, and informs Shari that CTU has located Bierko's bunker, now empty. I guess they gave up on burning it down, then. She adds that Forensics is there, but they don't expect to find much aside from a bunch of spent matches and empty lighters. Shari just keeps staring at Chloe like she's waiting for more. "Upload that information onto the subnets," Chloe duhs, and Shari gets to it. Yeah, Shari, people don't just tell each other shit around here for purposes of exposition.
But before Shari can accomplish more than a few keystrokes, Slime appears at her side, smugly saying she doesn't have the clearance level for what she's doing. Ah, so they do know each other. Shari says it's a provisional qualification, stated in her supplemental file. "All right, Shari," Slime says, leaning in close. He's put a hand on the armrest of her chair, which he quickly pulls away again as though it's hot. "First mistake, I yank the provisional and you're out of here," he hisses at her before stomping off. Shari watches him go. Chloe comes over to Shari and asks, "What's with him?" Uh...he's hateful? But Shari has a longer explanation. It seems they worked together in the San Francisco office two years ago (CTU or DHS? Don't care) and there was a "sexual harassment thing." "Miles?" Chloe wonders confusedly, as surprised as anyone to hear any suggestion that her new nemesis likes girls. Shari says it was subtle at first, then got really bad. I can imagine. They probably started dishing about their favorite Tom Cruise movies, and then he started pressuring her to dress like Tom Cruise. Anyway, Slime got off with a warning (which seems like the kind of thing that would get him off), although Shari doesn't want to say much more. "Don't worry, I don't need details," Chloe assures her. Shari nervously comments, "I guess I better not make any mistakes." Which is when she totally loses Chloe, who says, "Yeah," like Bitch, when was that not the case?
Kiefer's leading Audrey back out towards the floor, but Buchanan meets them at the mouth of the hallway and apologizes that Audrey's not done yet. Kiefer insists that Audrey is, steering her right around Buchanan and onto the floor. But it's there that they meet up with Burke, carrying his case and flanked by two Whiteshirts. Burke says he's got orders to interrogate Audrey, but Kiefer's unimpressed. "Get out of my way," he tells Burke, who sets his jaw and tries to look intimidating, like he hasn't spent his day getting bested by blown-up guys and his own torture victims. The standoff only lasts a couple of seconds before one of the guards makes a move for Kiefer, and then it's on. While Kiefer's busy with the two guards and Buchanan's begging him not to make it worse, Burke wades in with a taser and zaps Kiefer to the floor. Finally, the man does something right. Shari watches this in shock from across the floor, like, come on, New Girl, you haven't heard stories? While Kiefer's subdued, Audrey is dragged back to holding by other guards, calling to Buchanan for help the whole way and followed by Burke and his case. Buchanan is singularly unhelpful. And of course Hayes saw the whole thing from her office on high. It's 9:22:44.
9:26:54. Henderson is driving through the city in a car that he got I know not where, but I can say with certainty that the rear-projection street scene he's driving through was picked up from some bootleg distributor in Chinatown. Anyway, his cell phone rings, and it's the leader of the hit squad that drove Wayne Palmer off the road a half hour ago, calling from the arboreal wilderness outside Not Camp David. Where apparently a half-dozen heavily armed mercenaries can just wander around of an evening without having to worry about running into any Secret Service people or anything. "Is Wayne Palmer dead yet?" Henderson demands, just so we know who's after Wayne. The hitman apologizes for his sloppiness in letting Wayne get away, but promises to fix it. "You damn well better," Henderson threatens. "You know what's at stake." The hitman hangs up and the writer of the scene saves his Final Draft document and adds an item to week's list of things to do: "Come up with what's at stake."
Inside the Not Camp David compound, Aaron is getting a little worried about what's taking Wayne so long. Hey, maybe he couldn't get a cab. Aaron exposits to another agent that he's going to go out and check on Wayne himself, asking the other guy to keep it quiet. The junior agent agrees and watches Aaron go, thinking that if he can just look a leeeettle sketchy at having received some borderline sensitive information, a producer will see the dailies and decide to write him a more pivotal role an episode or two down the line. And the thing is, he's probably right. It's 9:28:12, and that's the only scene we're getting inside Not Camp David this hour. A break from the Logans is always appreciated, when you're me.
Kiefer's up in Buchanan's office, accepting an icepack from his sort-of boss while Hayes tells him to calm down. I don't know why Kiefer's not in holding himself; I can't decide whether being CTU or not CTU is more likely to keep him out of there. Or maybe it's just that all their holding rooms are filled with either corpses or chicks. He's still insisting to Hayes that Audrey is innocent, and he's evolving a theory about how Audrey got dragged into this in the first place: "[Collette] must have gotten Audrey's name from Henderson," he says, explaining that it would have been a good way to get into Kiefer's head. Hayes must have read my recaps during her downtime at DHS, because she points out that these plans would have been made long ago, when Henderson would have expected Kiefer to be dead by now. But Kiefer also reads the recaps, because he points out that the bad guys have backup plans with backup plans that have backup plans. He doesn't use those exact words, which is why I can't claim it as a shout-out. And anyway, I think a more powerful argument would be that wrongfully accusing Audrey when Kiefer's actually dead would be more effective in distracting CTU, because we know they're not big on second-guessing themselves once they've got a warm body in the back room. Not having Kiefer around to defend her would keep them going down that path for hours. But it's not like anybody's going to start listening to me at this late date. Kiefer tells Hayes that they need to be interrogating Collette instead of Audrey. Hayes points out that Stenger has that airtight immunity agreement that Kiefer got for her. Kiefer concedes that, but says that if he can prove that Collette lied, her immunity agreement gets flushed, and then she'll lead them to Henderson and Henderson will lead them to the nerve gas and it'll be puppies and Christmas from here on out. He just wants to be allowed to work with Chloe to prove that Collette is lying. Hayes thinks it over.
But before we hear her decision, we cut back down to the floor, where Shari is slaving away at what used to be Edgar's terminal. Slime appears to her and sticks his keycard into her desk slot. The penetration symbolism would actually be less obvious if he threw her down on the desk and fucked her, and almost as unnecessary. He smarmily points out some technobabble that she did wrong, and asks who authorized her to do it that way. "I did," Chloe jumps in. Slime doesn't buy it for a minute. He picks up on the sisterhood vibe: "She told you about my alleged sexual harassment, right?" But before he can explain that Shari doesn't even have what he looks for in a sexual partner (i.e., a dong), Chloe cuts him off: "There are seventeen canisters of nerve gas about to be deployed somewhere in Los Angeles. We're trying to find them. If you interrupt our work one more time, I'll file a complaint with Division. Then you'll see what protocol is all about." Throughout this speech, she's slowly walking towards him, her arms folded in front of her like always. But she doesn't quite have the hang of it, so she keeps walking even after she's done talking. Slime looks like he's considering pointing out that he works for an entirely different Cabinet-level department, let alone whatever the fuck Division is. But realizing that he's going to get run over before he can get the words out, he pulls his cock (sorry, I meant "keycard") out of Shari's slot and goes off to find someone else to annoy. Shari thanks Chloe, who simply says, "You're welcome," instead of pointing out that she's contractually obligated to irritate Slime at least once per hour. And I don't often say this, but go, Chloe.
She returns to her own computer, and Kiefer comes in and goes to work on the terminal to hers, saying that as of now, they're working on finding a connection between Henderson and Collette. Besides the file they already found on Henderson's computer, that is. Greedy.
The subtitle "Wilshire Gas Company" appears over the clock ticking past 9:31:35. Bierko's panel truck and its "police escort" pull up to the gate, where they're met by a security guard. And he is the worst security guard ever, because if I'm a security guard and a guy leans out of a panel truck and tells me in a thick crypto-Russian accent, "We have an important delivery," at 9:32 at night, during a martial law curfew that's in effect as a result of attacks by crypto-Russian terrorists, that's when I start shooting. But the guard simply says he needs to call it in, and gets two slugs in the back when he turns to do so. A pair of bolt-cutters later, Bierko and a couple of guys walk right into the facility, the cop car hanging back to watch the perimeter. The shot's neatly letterboxed between a couple of horizontal gas pipes, pipes which may or may not be important later. The panel truck backs up to an entrance to the building, and a moment later the bad guys are all inside, with the Sentox canisters being wheeled along on a cart. Watch out for speed bumps.
Somewhere in the building, a couple of guys in the necktie/short sleeves/hardhat combo that is sartorial TV shorthand for "engineer" are conferring over a clipboard. One of the engineers looks around appraisingly, which is weird because it looks like they're surrounded by lockers. Bierko and his guys come sweeping around a corner, and Bierko's commanding English accent asks, "Who's in charge?" The skinnier guy says he is, and Bierko asks to be taken to the control room. Ten million dollars he paid for the schematics to this place, and he doesn't know how to find the control room. "What are you guys doing here?" the boss Kip Bonapartes, which immediately gets his buddy shot. "Can you take us to the control room?" Bierko repeats in exactly the same tone as before. The boss quits asking questions and leads the way. As they walk, Bierko puts a companionable arm around the boss's shoulders and promises, "Keep cooperating and no more of your friends will die." He dispatches "Mikhail" to the main distribution tank with the canisters.
Trailed by a group of armed henchmen, Bierko and his new friend quickly reach the plant's control room, where a couple of other employees are already working. "Sam, what's going on?" one of them asks the boss, like the guys in dark clothes walking in with guns and doing shit like unplugging the security camera can be a sign of anything good. Bierko's glad to know his new best friend's name: "Ah, Sam," he says. He explains to the room that they're planning to release "a certain substance" into their pipelines, but the current pressure in the pipes will render the substance inert. Wow, for a poison gas that eats through door seals, this Sentox is kind of a drama queen. "Sam, don't do it," one of the employees warns, and immediately gets blown away by one of Bierko's guys. I hope he didn't have his new SAG card in his shirt pocket. Bierko asks how long it'll take Sam to reduce the PSI by 50%, and when Sam tells him an hour, he remarks dangerously, "You don't seem to care for your friends very much, do you, Sam?" But before another gas worker goes down, Sam says he might be able to manage it in thirty minutes. "You have fifteen," Bierko threatens. Well, if he knew the answer before he asked... It's 9:34:45.
9:38:52. In one splitscreen window, Burke is shooting a syringe into some IV tubing. Probably just for some much-needed practice. Aaron's on foot in the woods around Not Camp David, quietly stalking the wilderness with his handgun drawn and leveled. He briefly breaks cover to hop across a narrow dry creek bed, when a hoarse but still unmistakably deep voice calls out, "Don't move!" Aaron freezes, and the only reason I'm not already positive that it's Wayne Palmer covering him is because the owner of the voice is also holding a rifle with an infrared scope. And, hello, where did Wayne get one of those? Off a hitman? Because he was unarmed when he left his car, and I don't see Wayne pulling any Splinter Cell-fu outside of his game room. Aaron doesn't have my handicap in this situation, although he's already obeyed the order to drop his own gun and get down on his knees when he asks, "Mr. Palmer?" Wayne is relieved to see who it is, and Aaron retrieves his gun before they run off together. Not like that. Not yet, anyway.
Audrey looks bad. And not just bad as in miserable and unhappy, but bad as in sweaty and shaky, like Burke shot her full of some bad acid. He's also doing the verbal questioning, and he's not any better at that than he is at the medical aspect of it. Leaving aside the fact that Audrey probably doesn't know anything, Burke's attempts to be scary and intimidating are severely undermined by the long-sleeved polo he's wearing.
Kiefer runs over to Chloe and she tells him that she's found records that Henderson made eight cell phone calls to Collette in the past three months. Kiefer asks where Collette is now, and Chloe tells her Holding Three. What, it wouldn't have been more effective to stick her in Four with the corpses of Lynn McGill and Harry the Redshirt? Such softies, these people. Kiefer rushes over to Buchanan and tells him this news, saying it means Collette's immunity deal is off. "That's for the President to decide," Buchanan points out. "Then call the President," Kiefer yells over his shoulder, because he's already running toward Holding. "Get 'em to back off Audrey!" Buchanan whips out his cell phone at 9:41:02. "Get me the President!" he barks, following Jack's instructions sequentially. Audrey can wait, I guess.
Collette's sitting in her holding room with only a U.S. Marshal for company, passing the time by fiddling with the chain cuffing her to her bench. But judging by the way the chain jerks when Kiefer walks in, she came thisclose to passing a lot more than that at the sight of him. He immediately asks her connection to Henderson, and she nervously reminds both men, "I have an immunity agreement signed by your President." The Marshal backs this up, but Kiefer doesn't put up with too much of that before he socks the poor guy upside the face and takes the Marshal's gun out of its holster. He holds the weapon on the Marshal, but that quickly proves unnecessary as the Marshal sinks to the ground, unconscious. Kiefer hates Marshals. And then the gun is in Collette's face. "Henderson told you to use [Audrey's] name in case you got in trouble, right?" Collette doesn't say anything, but she looks scared. And guilty. And screwed. Kiefer gets right in her face and gets her to admit it. "Did he tell you why?" he asks, and she says no. Rather than trying to force an explanation for that out of her, he gives her one: "He's using you. He wanted you to get inside my head. It worked. And now I'm...upset." Heh. He gives her three seconds to tell him the target, but he's bluffing, because it's at least five before she blurts, "A natural gas distribution center." Kiefer wants to know which one, but Collette says she doesn't know. Kiefer purposefully cocks the gun, but she still doesn't know. Collette looks down, waiting for the bullet, but Kiefer backs off and leaves the room instead. Wow, how much did Henderson pay her to get her to risk wasting that sweet immunity deal by lying? You'd think either her Swiss lawyer or her Libyan one would have warned her against that.
It's 9:42:52 as Kiefer meets up with Buchanan in the hallway outside and tells him what he's learned. Buchanan's confused about the significance of the target, but Kiefer explains, "He can use it as a delivery system, get it into people's homes." A good idea in theory, but I think that if a bunch of natural gas has gotten into the living spaces of your home, you've probably already left. Unless Sentox is deadly in way lower concentrations than natural gas is, pretty much the only people Bierko's killing are those who have let their pilot lights go out. Kiefer says they need to get Chloe looking for the right distribution center, and Buchanan tells Kiefer that the rescinding order will be there in fifteen minutes. Nice that it takes ten times longer to rescind immunity than to provide it. Kiefer tells Buchanan to give the order to the Marshal in Collette's room. "He'll be looking for this too," he adds, handing over the Marshal's gun butt-first. I swear, Kiefer's like a one-man campaign to keep Federal Marshals from ever wanting to enter this building.
Audrey's still undergoing her interrogation, and apparently nobody's gotten word to Burke that it's off, because he's shooting a fresh syringe into the tube in her arm, even as she begs him not to. Her hair is completely saturated with sweat right now, and she starts screaming as the new drugs go to work. Kiefer rushes in, yelling at Burke to shut it down. For some reason he listens this time rather than just tasering Kiefer again, which is lucky for Audrey. Kiefer tells Burke to confirm Audrey's innocence with Buchanan. When Burke's a little slow on the uptake, he roars, "I said you're finished! Get out!" Once they're alone, Kiefer quickly undoes Audrey's restraints, and explains that Henderson set her up to get at Kiefer. Because it's always all about Kiefer, even when you're the one being tortured. Even when you're being tortured by someone other than Kiefer. He hugs her, saying he's sorry. And then it gets gross, because Audrey tells him, "The only thing that got me through this was knowing that you would come." What, since things went so great for her the last time he showed up in this room? And then they kiss, which, ick, at least give me an hour between the choking and the macking, not to mention you know her lips are going to be all gummy after all the screaming and grimacing. But it's supposed to be a tender moment, and I'll let them enjoy it like the twisted specimens even I didn't realize they are. Kiefer's cell phone rings, and it's Buchanan calling him out to the floor. Audrey tells him to go, and I'm like, "Yes, go. Scene over, already." I knew they were going to get back together, but I didn't think it would be like this. This is just ooky. I'd rather see her go back to Walt in his current condition. "I'll be right back," Kiefer promises, and leaves her to wait for the medic who's now en route. Hey, it's not like Dr. Besson has a patient any more.
Chloe's pulled up a satellite screen that shows flashing icons representing about 60% of the natural gas distribution centers in the greater Los Angeles area. The other 40% are out of satellite range, which, as Chloe explains, is worrisome. She's working on getting more online when Kiefer shows up. Buchanan exposits, "Our analysts tell us, once the Sentox hits the main tank, it goes right into the pipes and becomes impossible to stop. From there it goes straight into people's homes." Well, into people's pipes and appliances. And we're about to learn that the stuff burns, so. They're estimating a couple of hundred thousand casualties and guessing they have fifteen minutes. Kiefer says he and Curtis will take a team airborne. I assume he means a helicopter or some other aircraft, but it's hard to know for sure with Kiefer. He heads off, saying he'll be ready to go once they find the right plant.
Shari, who has heard the whole conversation from the desk over, decides to chime in with an incredibly handy bit of random knowledge that she picked up as a chem major at CalTech: "Most toxins become inert under high pressure. The PSI would have to be lowered before the nerve gas was introduced." Buchanan asks if Chloe can check on pressure readings for the gas plants on her screen, and she taps a couple of keys to make percentage figures blink into existence to the icons on her map. Most of them are in the upper nineties, except of course for the Wilshire Gas Company, currently at 75% and dropping. Buchanan heads off to tell Kiefer, brushing by Shari with a "great work." Chloe congratulates her new sidekick, who just stands there staring after Buchanan: "Did you see the way his hand brushed across my shoulder as he walked by?" Even Chloe's like, "What?" "That was wrong," Shari says unhappily. "He shouldn't have done that." Yes, 24 isn't afraid to tackle the thorny issues that people are really talking about, even if those people live in 1994. Chloe turns back to her computer, like, whoa. The amazing thing is, that wasn't even the most offensive portrayal of gender relations this act. And I don't even get to be cheered up by hearing Kiefer wail off camera, "Already? But I'm not ready yet!"
Wayne and Aaron make it back to the former's overturned car at 9:46:46, and I have to assume that Aaron must have spotted it from the road, because he's parked a big black Secret ServiceMobile at the side of the road above. Don't ask me where the bad guys' van went. Instead of jumping right in, Aaron stands there for a second listening while Wayne whispers, "What is it?" "Get down!" Aaron yells over the sound of a bazooka round streaking through the night. It hits the ground near where they were a moment ago, then ricochets around a time or two before going off, sending Wayne to the ground unconscious or dead. But at least obedient. The hitmen open fire with their machine guns from that direction, and Aaron schleps Wayne into the back seat while providing himself covering fire. The bad guys are closing in, but Aaron's already on the road. He spares a glance at his unconscious passenger in the back seat, thinking, Shit, now he's going to hit on me too, and he's way prettier than the First Lady. It's 9:47:53.
9:52:03. A CTU helicopter carrying Kiefer, Curtis, and a strike team is circling in over Wilshire Gas Company. Chloe reports that the PSI is down to 57%; only 7% to go, which is only a few minutes away. Chloe adds that the pressure can only be changed from the main control room, and she gives him directions to that part of the structure. Kiefer plans their insertion, using a light pen to draw on the electronic schematic of the gas plant on his PDA. Hey, where'd he find ten million dollars to buy those plans from Audrey, anyway? The pilot helpfully remarks that the noise of the plant should cover that of the helicopter.
The last of the seventeen Sentox canisters is being set up inside the tank. A gas-mask wearing henchman plugs in the blinky wiring and extends a teeny little antenna, and he's done. He radios as much to Bierko, who orders him back to the control room. Sam tells Bierko he needs a couple more minutes. "I can't lower the pressure any faster without risking a shutdown," he pleads. Bierko nods understandingly, and goes back to watching the live video feed of his babies in the main distribution tank. See, he's not such a tough guy to get along with as long as you don't get in the way of his killing a couple hundred thousand people and their gas ranges. Sam watches his pressure gauge drop down to 55%.
CTU's helicopter zooms in over the plant, out of sight of the VladimirKo perimeter guards that Chloe spotted on infrared. Ropes snake out the side of the craft at 9:54:14, and Kiefer and Curtis do a Blackhawk Down slide to the roof below, followed by the two non-speaking members of their team. The pilot reports to CTU that the team's away. I can't remember the last time we even saw a helicopter pilot besides Kiefer, let alone one with lines, so I'm pretty sure he's going to get killed. Chloe reports that the PSI is now 54%. Taking turns covering each other, Kiefer and his team make their way into the building. And Sam watches the pressure drop to 53%.
Kiefer spots the first pair of bad guys in the bowels of the facility. He crouches down behind some pipes, motioning everyone to do the same. He shares a silent look with Curtis and they both pop up together, each shooting one henchman with a single silenced round. Slick. Moments later, they're outside the entrances to the control room. Kiefer sends one of the non-speaking guys to the far door, whispering, "Silencers off," because he wants to make a nice big racket when the time comes. His own silencer gets stored in the man-purse, which of course got to come along. The other non-speaking agent is picking the lock when the scout peers unseen through the window of the other door and signals back that he counts four hostiles. Kiefer nods, and the door is opened at 9:56:23.
It's not that dramatic an entrance, because the door is around the corner from the main part of the control room and they hide behind large equipment banks. But a bad guy happens to see them, yelling, "Bierko!" and popping off one of the CTU guys before they can react. And then the firefight is on. Sam dives under the desk while the cops and robbers go at it. Bierko's returning fire from where he's pinned down, but then he spots the Sentox canisters on the security feed into the main tank, and remembers what he came for in the first place. Especially now that the pressure has dropped to 50%. With bullets flying all over, he pulls a jury-rigged remote control out of his overcoat pocket, extends the antenna, and starts punching a code into the keypad. And the canisters start opening up like little soldiers with the world's worst halitosis. Bierko grabs his gun and darts for an unguarded exit. Kiefer can't allow that, of course, so the gunfight is finally jolted out of its static state as Kiefer asks for cover so he can give chase. He slides into the open on his belly, just as a fire extinguisher hung low on the wall takes a bullet meant for him and starts spewing foam out its side right above him. It's neato. He gets the shooter, of course. Soon the control room is secured, but Kiefer spots the video feed from the tank, where a thick cloud of Sentox is forming as a quite clear indication that all is not well. Kiefer turns for help to Sam, who's come out of his hidey-hole, but Sam says by the time they shut down, the gas will have already reached the main tanks and thence straight into the city. Kiefer asks where to find the main pipeline that feeds the tanks, and Sam directs him right out the door and to his left. "It'll have a red arrow on it," he adds helpfully. Kiefer tells Curtis to give him C-4 and a timer and get everyone out. Buchanan comes in over his earpiece to ask what he's doing, and Kiefer says he plans to incinerate the Sentox before it leaves the plant. "Bill, this is the last chance we've got to stop this threat." Curtis loads Kiefer up and he heads out the door.
The canisters are still opening one at a time. What's the rush, really?
Kiefer finds the pipeline he needs and pulls out a strip of explosive. Elsewhere, Bierko is wandering around the plant, apparently lost. Totally wasted ten million bucks. Kiefer snaps his C-4 brick in half, because there's no need for overkill when you're about to blow up a natural gas plant. More unnatural gas escapes into the distribution tank, and Chloe reports that they have fifty seconds before it gets out. Bierko continues his exit. Kiefer clamps his explosive and its timer to the pipeline, then sets it for thirty seconds and takes off running. That's not a very long time to get out of a building you've never been in before. "Charge has been set," he perfunctorily announces as he goes. It's 9:57:42, and he's throwing on the man-purse as he runs. It's like he's in the Metrosexual Marines: Never leave a man-purse behind! We get a close-up on the timer, and the editors have decided to take back some of the seconds they've granted over the course of the season, because it's already down to 0:17 when it should still be at 0:19. Buchanan earpieces to Curtis an urgent query as to whether he's clear, and Curtis answers that he and the gas guys are, just about. Curtis sends everyone running ahead and hangs back to watch for Kiefer. The timer's at 0:11, which is actually about right. Audrey, her hair practically back to normal (apparently Dr. Besson has some hidden talents), comes back out on the floor just in time to hear Buchanan yelling down the comm link at Kiefer. There's no answer.
The timer ticks down to zero, right on schedule for once, and the C-4 pops. It doesn't send the whole plant sky-high instantly, probably because of the low gas pressure and also because that would be a lot less fun. Instead, a single geyser of yellow flame shoots out of the pipeline into the open. And then one of the valve handles set into the side of the pipe every few feet shoots off, propelled by another jet of flame as the gas in the line catches fire.
At CTU, Buchanan's watching a digital schematic of the plant on the big screen, saying, "Come on, Jack," as blurry, glowy spots start appearing and spreading. Nobody notices Audrey.
Kiefer runs through the plant as fast as his little legs can carry the man-purse, the corridor blowing up in sections right behind him. You're no kind of action hero if you can't outrun an explosion, I always say. He manages to get clear of the building before a shockwave can pick him up and send him at a support girder that would do to him what the little wire on a cheese slicer does to Gruyere. Curtis sees him come out, but Kiefer drops out of sight when a final explosion knocks him over. Curtis calls out to see if Kiefer's okay, but Kiefer's already moved on; he can see Bierko, and he announces he's giving chase. Curtis says there's no time before the main tank explodes, but Kiefer doesn't care: "Right now, he's our only connection to Henderson!" Yeah, and without Henderson, how will they ever find Bierko and the nerve gas? Seriously, Kiefer, let this one go. He doesn't, of course. "Bill, he's going in," Curtis reports.
Bierko reaches the spot where his men parked the stolen police car, right in the middle of rows of giant cylindrical gas tanks. He's got the door open and he's just about to hop in when Kiefer appears in the distance, gun drawn, and orders him to freeze. Bierko obeys, but not for long, because the tank behind him blows sky high, sending him flying at the car and in particular bashing his head against the roof. Ow. Kiefer runs to him and starts hauling him back to the car.
Panic in her voice, Chloe yells, "Jack, that's it, the main tanks are going. Get out!" Audrey can't believe what she's seeing.
Bierko recovers, and then he and Kiefer are wrassling while the place blows up around them. I drew the comparison in the recaplet to Star Trek III, and I'm sticking by that. George Lucas would probably rather I thought of Star Wars when I see hand-to-hand combat in an apocalyptic setting, but then I would rather George Lucas had done a lot of things that he hasn't, so I guess we're even. Kiefer manages to drag Bierko into the police car, I guess to drive them both out of there, but then the tank right to them explodes, raining fire and debris down on the vehicle as the passenger door flies open. Hey, whose idea was it to build giant a gas tank out of wooden planks, anyway? Will Kiefer and/or Bierko survive? Well, it's 10:00:00, so we'll just have to wait and see.