Latin Kiefer promo. 24. Blip blip blip blip blip blip. Previouslies. Someone dropped off a body infected with a weaponized strain of a pneumonic virus at the Health Services building in L.A. If released in L.A., it would infect nine percent of population. That's one million people, dammit. According to the terrorists' demands, they need to release drug lord Felipe Hartmano, one hammy actor, from prison within six hours. This is all being orchestrated by Felipe's brother, a drug lord himself, who's got a feisty wife who looks like Angelina Jolie and seems to fancy herself an honest woman. The virus seems to be inside a giant bag of cocaine, about to be delivered to distributors by some innocent white kid who just needs the money to help his family. Whatever. Meanwhile, Palmer is in town because he's running for reelection and is about to debate Senator Keeler, his opponent. Spawn is working at CTU. Yeah, I'll wait until you all stop sniggering before I continueI said Spawn is workingI said Spawn is working at CTU, and she's getting it on with Kiefer's partner. Let it out. That's it. May I continue? Okay. Kiefer is hooked on heroin and trying to quit. The following takes place between 2:00 PM and 3:00 PM.
Pretty as a midsummer's morn / They call her Spawn. We open with a closeup of Kiefer's desk -- more specifically, a framed photo-portrait of Spawn in her shag-tastic glory. Personally, I feel it's eerie to have pictures of your kids at your desk that weren't taken at least six or seven years ago. I suppose I could commend Kiefer for consistently updating the picture of Spawn on his desk, but I just think that photo needs a set of headgear or something. That's just me. The camera pans over to Sweaty Kiefer, who is staring in horror over at the corner in his office where he threw his works and stash last weekI mean, "moments ago." A split screen shows us the syringe lurking under a chair, calling out to Kiefer like a siren. "Kiefer! Kiefer! I'm heroin! Do me! I will make you feel wonderful." Kiefer krawls over to the syringe and throws it away in a nearby wastebasket. Some poor office worker will have to empty that trash eventually and they're going to see a used syringe. How sad is that? However, when Kiefer comes upon an unopened vial of heroin, he holds on to it. (Does heroin even come liquefied in a vial? I thought it was a powder you had to cook up. Maybe he has access to some pharmaceutical-grade heroin that's already in liquid form for those octogenarian cancer sufferers who can't deal with the whole spoon and lighter thing due to their arthritis.) He puts the vial back into his handy-dandy heroin case to the spare syringe and plastic tubing, closes the case, and breathlessly assumes the fetal position right there in the corner of his office.
“ Spawn calls Kiefer on his office extension to tell him that she and Adam are on the verge of finding an address for Patient Zero. Aw! Spawn figured out how to use the phone book! How could anyone think she's stupid? ”
Back out on the floor, Soul Patch, Mrs. Soul Patch, et al. are briefing Brother Palmer via videoconference on the nature of the virus, which is now officially a V-I-R-U-S. Soul Patch explains that Hector, Felipe Hartmano's brother, is threatening to release the virus unless Hartmano is released from prison. Brother Palmer asks Soul Patch how they know they are in possession of the V-I-R-U-S. Dr. Hazel Mat is patched in via satellite, sporting a Carol Brady "backflip" do. She explains in a really really tight voice that sounds like she's trying to smuggle diamonds in the hollows of her cheeks about the dead body left on the doorstep of the National Health Services building, and then shows a PowerPoint presentation to the assembled, which depicts how fast the virus will spread, complete with gory pictures of Patient Zero in all his skin-lesion-ed glory. Brother Palmer asks why he's never heard of this virus before. Dr. Hazel Mat explains that it was engineered specifically to kill ten times faster than its ordinary genotypes. "I cannot underscore enough how potentially devastating it would be if this virus were released by terrorists," says Dr. Hazel. Soul Patch asks Brother Palmer what the president is going to do about this. Brother Palmer replies that Palmer will not free Hartmano due to the "unwavering policy of the United States to stand firm against any terrorist demands." Meanwhile, somewhere in Virginia, Oliver North has just spewed a mouthful of microwave popcorn all over his television screen. Soul Patch points out that CTU only has five hours to find the source of the virus and contain it. Brother Palmer promises that CTU will have every possible resource at its disposal. Soul Patch calls for an end to the meeting so everyone can get back to work.
Meanwhile, elsewhere on the floor, Spawn calls Kiefer on his office extension to tell him that she and Adam are on the verge of finding an address for Patient Zero. Aw! Spawn figured out how to use the phone book! How could anyone think she's stupid? "And, uh, Dad, remember I want to talk to you," says Spawn. "Why, is something wrong?" asks Kiefer. "No," says Spawn. "I was just wondering if I could come up for a few minutes. It's something personal." Meanwhile, Special Agent Charlie Brown enters the Kiefer Kube at Kiefer's invitation and hears the tail end of their conversation on speakerphone. Kiefer tells Spawn that now is not a good time, but promises to come down and talk to her when he's got a moment. Charlie Brown has this "oh shit" expression on his face. Kiefer and Spawn hang up. Kiefer tells Charlie that they're getting close to finding Patient Zero's address. Charlie is all, "You didn't shoot up, did you?" Only he's not commending Kiefer for not shooting up; he's concerned that Kiefer may be done in by the withdrawal symptoms that come with quitting heroin cold turkey. Kiefer is all, "I've been tapering off. It's time to stop." "It doesn't look like it's time to stop," says Special Agent Charlie Brown. "Today is not a good day for you to be needing a fix." Kiefer tries to change the subject by telling Charlie to go work with Chloe on locating the whereabouts of Hector, Hartmano's brother. Charlie asks Kiefer why he's not going on methadone. Kiefer replies that he's not "going on record with this addiction." Charlie argues that Kiefer has nothing to be ashamed of, as "doing junk" was the only way to get close to Felipe Hartmano. "Nobody's gonna knock you for that." Kiefer cuts him off and tells him to get back to work.
Meanwhile, Chloe "Potato Face" O'Brien is sitting at her desk outside of Kiefer's office. She invites Special Agent Charlie Brown over and shows him the data about the V-I-R-U-S and how dangerous it is. "They aren't going to let this happen, are they?" asks Potato Face. "Hartmano's just one person, no matter how bad he is." Charlie tells her to forget all about it and concentrate on working to find the carrier. "In the four hours?" retorts Potato Face. "That's not likely, is it?" "Not if we sit here and debate it," says Charlie. He asks Potato for some more Whatever Data. Potato replies that Spawn has it and is bringing it upstairs to the Kiefer Kube momentarily. Charlie glances over at the Kiefer Kube, realizes that Spawn is going to talk to Kiefer about their relationship when she does come up, and makes his way downstairs so he'll be out of harm's way. Or at least that's what it looked like to me.
Spawn walks over to Special Agent Charlie Brown's desk and hands him the files on Patient Zero. Charlie tells her that she heard her conversation with Kiefer earlier. "Why do you want to tell him today?" he asks. "'Cause it's not a big deal?" says Spawn, with that teenage way of speaking where her voice rises at the end of the sentence so it sounds like a question. Charlie points out that it is a big deal, because he works closely with Kiefer and he's a field agent. And dating a field agent is the last thing that Kiefer wants for his last remaining blood relation. According to Charlie, Kiefer has told him how little he was there for Spawn or Bride and how he doesn't think a field agent can have a relationship outside of work. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe he'd be happy to know that his daughter's found someone she loves?" asks Spawn. Charlie replies that he loves her too, but he doesn't think today is a good day. They are interrupted by Potato Face who wants to be "copied" on some Whatever File. They pretend to be talking about work and then end their conversation.
Spawn walks over to the Kiefer Kube and knocks on the door. Kiefer beckons her in. Spawn is all, "Are you all right? Special Agent Charlie Brown said you were stressed out." "Stressed? What do you mean by stressed?" asked a totally stressed-out Kiefer. "You know," says Spawn. "Hartmano? The terrorist threat?" Realizing that Spawn isn't talking about the heroin, Kiefer kalms down and assures Spawn that everything is under control. "Can I talk to you now?" asks Spawn. Every three episodes, there has to be a moment in which Spawn does something where you feel compelled to fling your arms around your eyes and ears and scream, "No!!!!!!" This is one of them. I call it the Spawn Law of Narrative Structure. Kiefer closes the door behind them as Charlie Brown watches helplessly from Potato Face's desk. Spawn tells Kiefer about their relationship. Kiefer tries very hard to hide his discomfort. "So what do you think?" asks Spawn. I think you were adopted, says Kiefer. Oh wait, he doesn't. "I don't know what I think," says Kiefer, claiming to be distracted by everything else that's going on that day. They exchange "I love you"s and Spawn exits, kissing him on the forehead. Once she's gone, Kiefer glances anxiously back at the corner where he threw that vial of heroin. Spawn runs into Charlie Brown at Potato Face's desk. "I told him," she says smugly. "What did he say?" asks Charlie Brown. "Nothing," answers Spawn, walking off.
“ Kyle wants Zach to repeat the plan, or 'how it's gonna go down.' If this weren't a TV show that needed to spell everything out through exposition, I'd totally suspect Kyle of being a narc with this whole 'let's go over this illegal plan one more time over my tapped cell phone' thing. ”
Meanwhile, Mrs. Soul Patch has a phone call. It's Dr. Hazel Mat. She's found something interesting. Judging by the placement of a white particle in the victim's nose, it seems the virus was "delivered" in a crystallized form. "It maybe what you're looking for is a white powder," she says. "So it would look like a bag of cocaine or heroin?" asks Mrs. Soul Patch. Dr. Hazel agrees that this might be the strategy. "Someone thinks they're buying a bag of coke, when in fact they're handling the virus," she says.
Speaking of cocaine distribution and virus handling, the screen splits to reveal the pool at the Cocaine Condo, where Lyle and Damone are hanging out with a couple of girls. Damone gets out of the pool -- the place where he's been since the bottom of the last episode, when he jumped into the pool right after Kyle asked him to accompany him on the cocaine drop-off. Well, Damone's been doing some thinking and some swimming. He tells Kyle that there's no way he's going to accompany him. "I don't care how much you pay me," says Damone. "It's dealing drugs." What is this, a Christian rock video? Kyle tries to play the best friend card, but Damone is ready with a comeback. "You should have talked to me before you went down to Mexico and bought a bag of coke." The swoopy cam goes back and forth between each of them in close-up as Kyle tries to get Damone to change his mind and Damone holds his ground. Kyle's cell phone rings, and he does that thing that I hate where he answers the phone, not with a "hello," but with a "yeah?" It's "Zach." He wants to "talk." Kyle heads inside so he can talk to Zach in private. The two bikini girls ask Damone who "Zach" is. Damone blows off their question. "What's with you guys today?" asks the blonder of the two girls. "Why is everything a secret?" Damone tries to pass it all off as Kyle's family problems. Over at the other end of the pool, Zach is asking Kyle if he's "got the powder?" Kyle informs Zach that he indeed has the powder. Zach tells him to drop by his place in about five episodesI mean, "at seven-thirty." Kyle wants Zach to repeat the plan, or "how it's gonna go down." If this weren't a TV show that needed to spell everything out through exposition, I'd totally suspect Kyle of being a narc with this whole "let's go over this illegal plan one more time over my tapped cell phone" thing. "You drop off the coke, I give you the rest of the money," says Zach, feeling very confident that his phone is not being tapped. "Is that too much for you to handle?" Kyle assures Zach that he's totally cool with this forthcoming federally indictable and highly dangerous activity they are planning to perform sometime during the middle of Episode Seven. They hang up. The time is 02:13:06 PM.
The time is 02:17:30 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Gael checks out the Kocaine Kids by the pool, Gael checks out the cocaine kids by the pool from a different angle, and Palmer poses for some photos. Kiefer Kube. Kiefer is just changing into a casual outfit -- a lilac-colored v-neck viscose sweater -- when he phone rings. It's Mrs. Soul Patch. They have an address for Patient Zero. Or at least where he lived as of two months ago. It's good enough for Kiefer, who tells Mrs. Soul Patch to have the LAPD send over a "perimeter" team to the crack house and to instruct them not to touch anything until Kiefer and Special Agent Charlie Brown get there. Bitchelle is on it. Kiefer leaves his office and beckons for Charlie to follow him to the Kiefmobile. On the floor, Bitchelle tells a redheaded extra to make sure that the police know they're not to go in until Kiefer gets there. Soul Patch comes over and asks Bitchelle how recent the last known address for Patient Zero is. Bitchelle admits that it's not that recent, but points out that they don't have another hour to find something better. Soul Patch retorts that they don't have an hour to waste on a wild goose chase either. For some reason that leads to Soul Patch decision to "put transmitters" on Kiefer and Charlie so they can analyze "all their interactions." "We can work it up in real time," says Soul Patch.