Hey, it's me, Kiefer. And if I were one of those fame whores, I'd totally mention that I was featured in People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" issue earlier this month. Okay, I'm not the sexiest man alive -- this year anyway -- but I'm featured in the issue as one of those "other sexiest men" who weren't quite as sexy as Ben Affleck. Whatever. And then they have all of the "sexiest elderly doctor guy" or "sexiest fat guy" or "sexiest black guy" photos in the back of the piece, but I'm further up front with the other sexy guys like Tom Cruise and Hugh Grant. In fact, I'm not too far behind George Clooney. Not that I noticed or anything. My publicist just told me that. Anyway, I totally don't even know why I brought it up. I hate talking about this kind of thing. What was I going to say? Oh, yeah. There's this rumor I just wanted to address. Apparently there's been talk of me being out of control and drinking too much. How, if I were a fame whore like Whitney Houston, I'd go on Diane Sawyer and apologize to my fans for being a crackhead. But I'm not, so I'll just say this. I'm not an alcoholic, but being this genetically talented, sexy, and charismatic is such a burden that I must drink to dull the pain.
Previouslys. Papa Crew is in trouble with the feds. Soul Patch brings everyone into CTU for questioning except Cate, who stays behind to dig though her father's personal files. Jack and Nina go to Visalia to capture Mamud Faheen. Nina steals a gift card. Everyone is looking for Ron Weiland, the nosy reporter who Palmer sequestered. Lady Mac is valuable to Palmer, but no one else in the office wants her around. Crazy Laura is found in the trunk of DaddyStopTouchingMe's car, which just happens to be Spawn, Miguel, and JonBenet's escape vehicle.
Along to road to Aunt Carol's house, the blue Lexus is still parked by the side of the highway while more police officers arrive on the scene. JonBenet is being babysat by some back-up officers, and Spawn and Enricky are answering questions about the body in the trunk of their car…a car that isn't theirs. Spawn is stunned by the remembered sight of Crazy Laura's body still fresh in her mind, and admits to the police officer that they weren't given permission to use the car. Enricky tries to explain that they were trying to get JonBenet away from her abusive father, and that it was said abusive father who killed Crazy Laura and stashed her in the trunk. The policeman with tonight's speaking part asks the TeenTwosome why they didn't go to the police instead of letting the police find them twenty miles outside of L.A. The TeenTwosome can't answer, because then they'll have to admit that they know about B-O-M-B. PolicemanWithSpeakingPart cuffs them and reads them their rights. JonBenet just looks off into the distance like she's one of those dustbowl kids in a Dorothea Lange photograph published in Life Magazine in the 1930s.
CTU. Soul Patch and some armed agents escort Papa Crew, Reza and PoorMan'sReneeZellweger into CTU building, which -- hate to keep flogging a dead horse here -- was just bombed that morning. PoorMan'sReneeZellweger actually earns from respect for me by asking Soul Patch if the building is safe enough to hang out in. However, she still annoys with the self-righteous Kelly Taylor purse clutch going on -- like she just started working in a charity day care center yesterday and already she disapproves of the entire staff. Soul Patch warns them to stay away from the cordoned-off areas. Papa Crew is all, "This is the building that was bombed this morning." Yes, yes, yes. It's all true. Soul Patch runs into Bitchelle, and their faces light up so much at the sight of each other, you'd think they were Omar Sharif and Julie Christie. "Got the rooms ready?" asks Soul Patch. "They're pretty messed up," says Bitchelle. "But they're good enough for interrogation." If they're as "messed up" as the room they just interrogated Nina in, you could perform surgery inside them. Oh, and it's time for Bitchelle to update the casualty list too -- thirty dead and seventeen in critical condition. "What about Darlene?" asks Soul Patch. Bitchelle says nothing. Soul Patch understands what her silence means, and asks her to take the Chez Crew crew to their rooms. Papa Crew asks to speak to Soul Patch "alone." Wasn't that what Soul Patch was just doing a few "minutes" ago back at Chez Crew? Soul Patch tells Papa Crew that he'll be right with him. Mason enters and asks Soul Patch what's up. Soul Patch tells Mason that since both Reza and Papa Crew are contradicting each other, there's definitely a connection between them and Syed Ali. "Just tell me how hard I can push them," says Soul Patch. No comment. Mason tells Soul Patch to go krazy.
NSA. Roger Stanton, a.k.a. Yulin, is wrapping up a meeting with several other uniformed extras. He notices Rolaide passing by, so he calls her over and asks what's up with Lady Mac getting a special security clearance. Rolaide confirms that Palmer has indeed evoked executive privilege and given Lady Mac said clearance. "You okay with that?" asks Yulin. Rolaide just does that thing that you do in high school when an alpha girl calls you up and says, "Hey, what do you think of Cathy?" And even though you hate Cathy because she's a stuck-up bitch, you go, "Uh, I don't know her that well. She seems kind of quiet." The reason you do this is because you just know that Cathy is actually on the other extension listening in and the whole thing is a set-up to fuck with you…and probably Cathy. So Yulin gives a hearty laugh to indicate that he knows exactly what Rolaide thinks of Lady Mac. Rolaide admits that Lady Mac might become a problem down the road, and if that happens, she'll speak to Palmer about it. "She's his ex-wife," says Yulin. "That's a problem all by itself." There's a problem with the presence of Palmer's ex-wife? Oh, pull up a chair! My last two ex-boyfriends, whom I'm still friends with, just met each other. And guess what? They both just happen to speak Spanish as their first language. Meanwhile, I don't know any Spanish other than the ¿Dónde está el baño? that got me through a trip to Peru a few years ago. It's one thing to have two of my ex-boyfriends comparing notes about me when, say, I leave the room for a few minutes to go to the bathroom. I'm sure that being in a relationship with me can be frustrating and confusing at times, so who am I to disapprove if these two guys want to bond over having to endure my various neuroses. It's another thing entirely to have them compare notes in front of me all night when I can't understand a word of what they're saying because it's in Spanish. And then I can't even really complain, because I promised both of these guys that I would learn Spanish for them and I never got around to it, so my inability to understand them is my own damn fault. That, and the fact that I took Latin in high school because supposedly it helps you on the SATs. And by the way, a dirty secret for all you high school students out there: Latin doesn't help your SAT scores at all. This is the biggest lie ever told. The SATs have a lot of questions on the verbal that employ false etymology. In other words, one of the choices will be a word that you've never heard of before, but if you examine its Latin roots, you'd think that you know what it means, but you're wrong, because the word doesn't really mean what its Latin roots would theoretically indicate. Let's take, for example, the word "homophobia." If you didn't know that homophobia is defined as "fear or hatred of homosexual people" but you knew Latin, you'd probably conclude incorrectly that homophobia is a "fear of men" or a "fear of similarities" because "homo" means "man" in Latin (or "same" in Greek) and "phobia" means "fear or hatred." ETS uses words like this all the time just to fake you out, and if you didn't know any Latin you wouldn't fall into their trap. So my lesson for the week, kids, is this: if you are going to date two people who speak Spanish, learn to speak it while you're in high school or your SAT scores will go to hell.
Meanwhile, Lady Mac is at home in Palmer's office, making calls and sipping coffee. She gets off the phone with someone named "Sandra" (Sandra Bullock? Sandra Day O'Connor?), and Palmer enters. "Tell me about Ron Weiland," says Lady Mac, explaining that the network is looking for their Nosy Reporter and the last thing anyone knew, he was with Palmer. "You didn't detain him, did you?" asks Lady Mac. Palmer is all, "You are here today to help me, not question my judgment." Oh, yeah -- there's that good old sexy sassy repartee that made the Palmer plotline so edgy, fresh, fun, and just plain exciting to watch last season. Lady Mac asks what's up with Weiland again, so Palmer explains that they had to detain him because he was going to go public about the B-O-M-B, and that would create panic. Lady Mac argues that Weiland's detention will create a new set of problems for Palmer, since people are getting suspicious. They should bargain with him instead. Palmer says that Weiland wasn't willing to bargain. "Let me talk to him," says Lady Mac. "One talent you know I have is dealing with the media. And I know Ron."
Oh, if laughing at the misfortunes of JonBenet, Spawn, and Miguel is wrong, I don't want to be right. Back at the side of the highway, JonBenet cries some Cindy Brady tears over…well, it could be one of a number of things: the fact that her father just had the shit beaten out of him by her nanny's boyfriend, the existence of her mother's dead body in the trunk of a stolen car, the sight of her beloved nanny being hauled off to jail, or maybe the inevitable fact that she's going to be placed in a foster home before the day is over. It's official. JonBenet is this season's PMMS. Anyway, Spawn protests that JonBenet cannot be taken back to L.A. "It's not safe," she whines. The police ignore her. Enricky -- who is somehow still able to speak privately to Spawn even though they are both being cuffed by the police -- urges her to tell the police about the B-O-M-B. "My father told me not to," says Spawn. Oh, like a warning from Daddy ever worked before. "Yeah, but he didn't know you were going to be charged with murder," says Enricky limply. Spawn still refuses to disobey the Kiefer. Enricky urges her to tell the police who her dad is and explain why they were trying to get JonBenet out of town. Oh, that will work. Just tell the police that you were trying to save a little girl from being vaporized in a nuclear blast…the very same nuclear blast that will surely kill these very officers. I'm sure they'll be very understanding and let you go on your way. Then it will be like one of those Scooby Doo delayed reactions where an hour later, the officers will be looking at each other and they'll all go in unison, "A nuclear bomb? In L.A.? Run!" Another officer grabs Enricky and puts him in his own squad car. PolicemanWithSpeakingPart gets into a squad car with Spawn and they're all on the road back to L.A.…but not before we get another shot of a crying JonBenet with her little pig nose pressed against the glass of her very own squad car. Spawn asks PolicemanWithSpeakingPart to call CTU and talk to her father, who will explain everything. PolicemanWithSpeakingPart tells Spawn that she can call her father after she's been processed.
Visalia. Back at Crescent Collectibles, Nina is trying to get a now conscious Faheen to give her information about the bomb. "Alakalak alakalakal akalak Los Angeles," says Nina. "Alakalak alakalakalak alak jihad jihad," says Faheen. This is translated into English by Bitchelle, who is patched into their conversation through some Whatever Technology. According to her, Nina asked Faheen to tell her about the bomb, and Faheen said that he won't tell her anything but the bomb is going off regardless. Kiefer enters the room to see how Nina is progressing and concludes that this all might not be such a great idea. Nina insists that she just needs a little more time. The agents grab Faheen and Nina to take them to Los Angeles. Kiefer wants to interrogate them at CTU. Nina warns him against this. "The deeper you bring him into the system the more he'll shut down." Oh, Nina. He's a terrorist, not a foster child. Kiefer pushes her into a van. Nina whines to PoorMan'sSeanAstin about how she's being treated. PMSA tries to intervene. Kiefer pushes him. A bunch of agents pull guns on Kiefer. Kiefer slams the van door shut in frustration. The time is 03:09:31 PM.
The time is 03:13:56 PM. Remember last week, how Cate couldn't get in touch with Ralph Burton but she got his boss on the phone instead? Well, Burton's "boss" just showed up at Crez Crew, and he's played by none other than Mikey Palmice from The Sopranos. And yeah, I have to wonder what happened to Ralph Burton. Why bother having him on camera and mentioning his name a bunch of times if it's his boss who is going to end up coming over and hacking into Papa Crew's computer files? Cate lets him in and whines about how CTU ruined her sister's wedding. Mikey Palmice apologizes for the ruined wedding, but insists that private investigators are required by law to report any terrorist threat to the FBI, or wherever you report that sort of thing. Cate is barely listening, because she's staring lustfully at the gun he has strapped to his pelvis. They start hacking into her dad's computer.
NSA. Yulin is just walking through the halls of NSA with his staff when he encounters Lady Mac walking through the same halls with Armus. At least I think it's Armus. I haven't seen him in a while, and all I remember is that he kind of looks like Sam Elliott. Just as Lady Mac is being admitted into the room where Ron Weiland is detained, Yulin asks one of Lady Mac's entourage if she has clearance. Big mistake. "Excuse me," says Lady Mac. "But you don't need to speak about me as if I wasn't here, Mr. Stanton." Yulin apologizes and tries to explain that he was just concerned, because it's a highly restricted area that she's entering. Lady Mac is all, "I know. I have been granted access." Yulin asks her why she was given access. Lady Mac tells him to ask the President. Chilly! Armus lets her in. She comes face-to-face with Weiland. "Sherry Palmer," exclaims Weiland. Damn, it would have been so great if Weiland had been hot, or had any charisma for that matter, because then this scene would have been interesting. Instead, it's like, oh, let's see Penny Johnson Jerald try to pretend to have chemistry with the Bob Balaban look-alike. Weiland claims to have the story of the year, seeing that the leader of the free world has had him kidnapped. Lady Mac assures him that there's been precedent for this kind of executive action. Weiland doesn't believe her. "I'm coming out of here with a story," says Weiland. "Deal with it." Lady Mac tries to offer Weiland a chance to be there in the O.C. to report firsthand in return for his silence. "No journalist has ever been inside there," says Lady Mac. Weiland wants to know why Palmer's ex-wife is making said offer. "Take the deal, Ron," says Lady Mac.
Meanwhile, the "American Delivery" truck passes through some city streets. Three Arabic speaking guys are in the truck. "Akalaka lakalakalak," says one of the Arab guys, who looks like Joey Fatone's older brother, to the other two. According to the subtitles, this indicates that the "bomb is ready" and that "they" are "waiting for the bomb to be delivered." "Akalakalakalakalak," says one of the other guys, who has Justin Guarini's hairdo. Just then, one of the tires on the truck blows. They skid over to the side of the road. "Akalakalak alakalak," says Joey Fatone's older brother. "Akalak alakalak alak," says the third terrorist driving the truck, who looks like Ben Kingsley's nephew. "Akalakalak alakalak," says TerrorGuarini. Panic sweat is visible on the faces of the three TerrorStooges. BenKingsley'sNephew gets out to investigate. The other two follow him out, and soon they are akalaking heatedly about what to do about their flat tire. An obese guy who looks like Steve Schirripa drives by in a pickup truck. "Hey, do you guys need some help?" he says. After a pregnant pause, Joey Fatone's Older Brother is all, "Yeah, sure," in perfect English.
Back aboard Flight 69, Nina continues to prod Faheen for information with Bitchelle translating from offsite. Nina is all, "Akalakalak alak the only way out is to cooperate akalak alakalak." Faheen is all, "Ak alakalak alak I'm not afraid to die." Nina is stumped. But when no one is looking, Nina fingers that gift card she stole last week from Crescent Collectibles. She tries some more questions, but Faheen is all, "Akalakalakalak you're a traitor." Kiefer tells the handsome black agent on board to go get Nina for him. HandsomeBlackAgent does so without getting killed. Kiefer asks Nina to go over what she knows with him "one last time." Nina explains that she was approached by Faheen's people six months before the day she "was arrested." The day Nina was arrested? Oh, nice euphemism, Nina, for "the day you killed Kiefer's wife." Nina never knew the "end game," but she knew it was something "big." Like when your agent calls about an untitled Spielberg project. You don't know what it's about, but you know you'll probably get your own trailer and some points. "Is there anyway around Faheen?" asks Kiefer. "No," says Nina. "And he's really willing to die?" asks Kiefer. "Yeah," says Nina. Kiefer reflects on these bits of information and does a little acting -- runs his hands through his hair and gives penetrating glares to both Faheen and Nina. "What are we going to do?" asks Nina. It's hard to tell how Kiefer reacts to Nina being all "team player" on him. "Take her back," says Kiefer to HandsomeBlackAgent. Either he is repulsed by the sight of her or he realizes that she's still a valuable agent who needs to keep interrogating Faheen. The time is 03:22:53 PM.
Don't you just hate it when someone gets you a gift certificate to a cheesy store that sells clothing that resembles bridesmaid's outfits in colors like tangerine or fuchsia? Well, now American Express has solved all that by inventing a gift certificate that can be used at any store. Although I should probably point out that there's something similar that's already been in existence for centuries. It's called cash.
The time is 03:27:19 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Mikey Palmice and Cate continue to hack into Papa Crew's computer, Spawn sits in the patrol car on her way to another stint in jail, and Nina continues to interrogate Faheen. Meanwhile, Steve Schirripa has fixed the flat. He advises the TerrorStooges not to drive too long on the spare. Oh, the irony! Joey Fatone tries to pay him, but Steve Schirripa refuses to take his money. He does, however, have a pool cleaning business, and he gives Joey Fatone his card. You know, because someone's going to have to clean out the death pool after tonight's episode…oops, jumping ahead here. As ObesePoolMan is explaining that he works the whole valley and that maybe Joey Fatone could pass his card around to any of his friends who need their pools cleaned, BenKingsley'sNephew's attention is caught by a group of young boys of various races playing basketball in the park across the street. Oh, and just in case that anvil didn't hit you the first time, there's a yellow diamond-shaped traffic sign visible in the shot that says "End." BenKingsley'sNephew is mesmerized by this sight.
Meanwhile, as Spawn is being taken into the station by the police, PolicemanWithSpeakingPart is talking on the phone to the officer who has custody of Enricky in another squad car. They discuss Spawn and Enricky's claims of L.A. being "unsafe," dismiss this as a tall tale, and decide not to "call it in." "That friend of yours has quite an imagination," says PolicemanWithSpeakingPart to Spawn after he gets off the phone. Not quite as vivid an imagination, thinks Gustave, as the casting director who thought that this actor playing Miguel would enliven this plotline. PWSP tells Spawn that Enricky told the other officer about a B-O-M-B. "Please," begs Spawn. "Just call CTU and try to reach my dad." PWSP decides on a whim to try to contact the FBI on his radio. He can't get through, according to the dispatcher, because all of the frequencies for federal agencies have been teeming with activity all day. Dun dun dun! "What the hell is going on?" says PWSP to himself.
NSA. Lady Mac enters, removing her jacket. And I have to say here that there's a lot of speculation about this jacket and how it comes off and on throughout this scene. I have a more important question. What's up with the ruffles this season? Rolaide has ruffles on the collar of her blouse and so does Lady Mac. Last year, it was all about the ladies' upper arms. Now it's all about ruffled cleavage under jackets. What's up with that? Anyway, Lady Mac makes herself at home in Palmer's office and tells him that there was no negotiating with Weiland. Palmer isn't surprised by this, since Weiland has a major story on his hands once he gets released. "Sorry, darling," says Lady Mac, plopping down on a sofa. "I thought I could charm him." Palmer is all, "That will be all." Lady Mac is shocked to be dismissed like a mere staff member, and asks him what's up with that. Palmer organizes some files in his Presidential Trapper Keeper and explains that it's nothing personal. "I just have more important things to deal with," he says. You know a Lady Mac smackdown is coming, because there's a pregnant pause and certain smell in the air…like the one before an electrical storm. "You've always given everyone a second chance except me," says Lady Mac, putting on her jacket again. "I came here today to tell you that you were right to take me off the campaign and [swallow] file for divorce." Palmer asks why she's bringing this up now. Lady Mac explains that she's just feeling honest. Back when they divorced, she was caught up in "the power." "And you're not now?" asks Palmer. "Oh, I still love it," says Lady Mac. "But now I'm more aware of what I can and cannot handle." She asks Palmer for a chance to help him and earn his trust back. Palmer is down with it, but promises "nothing in return." Lady Mac removes her jacket again.
Back in the Van of the Apocalypse, BenKingsley'sNephew is having second thoughts. The kids playing basketball and the kindness of ObesePoolGuy is just too much for him. He slams on the brakes. "Akalakalakalak I can't do this," he says. "I can't kill anyone." Justin Guarini tells him to just do his akalaking job. Oh, like people who are sent on terrorist missions like this aren't brainwashed out of doing this sort of thing. Joey Fatone pulls out a gun and shoots Ben Kingsley in the chest. He and Justin get out of the van to remove his body and continue the mission. They exchange a tension-filled round of akalaks. As Joey opens the driver's side door, Ben Kingsley isn't dead yet. He shoots Joey Fatone, and now they're both dead. Justin Guarini is now alone with the van and the bomb. Wow. That kind of changes everything. The time is 03:33:13 PM.
The time is 03:37:40 PM. Klockwise from the top left, the TerrorTruck makes its way to wherever, Papa Crew sits in his interrogation room, and Kiefer stares at Nina. Back at Chez Crew, Mikey Palmice and Cate have gotten into Papa Crew's personal files. They find a half a million dollars in checks made out to Syed Ali. Cate is all, "Maybe they were just doing business." Palmice is all, "Syed Ali's only business is terrorism." Yeah, like, when Syed gives you his business card, it just says, "Syed Ali: Terrorist," and the checks made out to him say "for terrorism!!!!" in the memo section. But Palmice can't figure out if Papa Crew made these transactions or if Reza faked Papa Crew's authorization of them. "My father is not involved with terrorists," says Cate emphatically. "The government made a mistake!" They go into more of Papa Crew's files and find a file with a "resource tab." Palmice thinks that looks strange. They open it, and immediately auto delete is activated. Palmice looks at the file some more and finds codes inside. Apparently the only people who have files like these on their computers are people with high-level government security clearance. "Why would my dad have that?" asks Cate. Palmice is stumped.
The screen splits to reveal Papa Crew waiting in one of the (spotless) interrogation rooms. Soul Patch enters. Papa Crew complains about having to wait. Soul Patch is all, "Sit down!" Papa Crew explains that he is a consultant for the CIA. He even pulls a business card out of his wallet. Um, if this is supposed to be such a secret, why does Papa Crew have business cards that say "CIA Consultant" in his wallet? Papa explains that he was recruited by the CIA several years ago to set up his company as a conduit for exchanging information. Soul Patch asks why he was doing business with Syed Ali. Papa Crew claims not to have any knowledge of these transactions, and emphatically states that he is a "patriot." An odd choice of words, considering that the Junkyard Gang called themselves "patriots" too. Soul Patch vows to get to the bottom of the connection between Papa Crew and Syed Ali.
So not only does Bitchelle have to translate Nina and Faheen's conversation, she also has to answer the phone when the police call about Spawn. Meanwhile, Soul Patch is telling Mason about Papa Crew being a CIA consultant who seems to have a legitimate contact code. They look over at Reza and Marie, who are just hanging out in the lobby of CTU, looking more like they are waiting to test drive a Lexus than be interrogated by the counter-terrorism division of the CIA. Mason concludes that Reza must be lying about authorizing the Syed Ali transactions to cover for Papa Crew. Soul Patch thinks Reza is telling the truth. "I pushed him pretty hard," says Soul Patch. Bitchelle interrupts to tell them that Spawn's been arrested and charged with murder. Hey, Bitchelle? Shouldn't you be translating Nina and Faheen's conversation right now? And if you have some downtime, where were your language skills when I ran into both of my ex-boyfriends the other day? Mason tells Bitchelle to call Kiefer on Flight 69, which she does. Kiefer is konfused when he hears the news of his daughter's incarceration, so Bitchelle puts her on the line. Mason also happens to be on the line too, so Kiefer asks him to deal with the whole situation. Spawn tearfully recounts her whole day: the beating of Megan and Crazy Laura, the escape from L.A. in a stolen car, being stopped for speeding, and the discovery of Crazy Laura's body in the trunk.
Meanwhile, as Spawn continues to whine, Kiefer notices that Nina is making some progress with Faheen, who seems to be breaking. According to Bitchelle's translations, Nina has convinced Faheen that they've gone into Faheen's village and rounded up his family, and for some reason Faheen believes her, even though Nina's only had, like, five minutes to come up with this story and I doubt she even knows what town he's from or what his parents' names are. There's more, but Bitchelle can't hear because she's trying to deal with Spawn and the audio keeps cutting out on her. "Nina," asks Kiefer. "What did he tell you?" "Everything," says Nina, standing up and slashing Faheen's throat with her Crescent Collectibles gift card, which she tore in half so it has a sharp edge.
PoorMan'sSeanAstin tries to save Faheen, but it's too late. Nina has all of the information and is the only one alive with said information. She demands to be taken to San Diego and put on a plane to Sao Paulo. Meanwhile Spawn is still whining about her day. They have no choice but to reroute the plane to San Diego. Kiefer is all, "We're going to hold you until we get results. You got that?" Nina's got it. Hell, she's practically smoking a cigarette and naming the babies. The time is 3:47:03 PM.
The time is 3:51:29 PM. CTU. Bitchelle tells Mason that they were able to make out a name from the otherwise worthless audio recording of Faheen's confession: Marko Khatami. Not that this was made clear from the show itself, but according to the episode guide on fox.com, Marko Khatami is the name of BenKingsley'sNephew, who was just shot by JoeyFatone'sOlderBrother. Lo and behold, Mason recognizes the name as one of the terrorists connected to Syed Ali. Mason takes off his jacket and walks over to Marie and Reza, who look like they're having a discussion over which long distance carrier they should go with. "Who is Marko Khatami?" asks Mason, going ballistic and grabbing Reza by the neck. Marie screams. Soul Patch breaks them up. Mason has another coughing fit.
Police station. PolicemanWithSpeakingPart goes over to a bench where Spawn and Enricky are cuffed and tells them that they're being transferred to CTU. And we all know how great those police-to-CTU transfers always turn out for Spawn, don't we? Spawn wants to know what's going to happen to JonBenet. I dunno. I hear Rosie O'Donnell hooked up with Paula Poundstone and they're shopping around for a little cutie patootie of their very own. Uh oh. I'm going to be getting a lot of irate email over that one. PWSP doesn't know what will happen to JonBenet. Spawn insists that JonBenet can't go back to L.A. PWSP kneels in front of Spawn and Enricky and asks them quietly what's really going on. Spawn tells him about the B-O-M-B…but tells him to keep it on the DL because they don't want to create a panic or anything. Too late for that.
CTU. Soul Patch asks Bitchelle if she uncovered anything else from the tape of Nina and Faheed. Bitchelle drops her head into a bandaged hand, bursts into tears, and admits that it's 99 percent noise. Soul Patch tells her to eat something and assures that they'll get through the day. Bitchelle insists she's fine even though there's blood on her neck. "It's someone else's blood," she says.
NSA. Rolaide enters Palmer's office to give him some reports. Palmer asks her how she feels about his wife being around. Rolaide does the high school girl euphemism thing again and insists that if Lady Mac's presence is okay with Palmer, it's okay with her. PoorMan'sHumeCronyn enters. Be still my heart. "You've got to get out here," he says. Palmer and Rolaide gather around a television with the rest of the staff in time to hear Weiland giving a press conference about a terrorist attack on the U.S. that is being hushed up by the Palmer administration. Palmer demands to know how Weiland got free, and asks to speak to Armus.
Chez Crew. Cate is still confused about everything. She shares her thoughts with Palmice as she walks him out the front door of Chez Crew to his car. How did her father not realize that he was dealing with terrorists? And if he did in fact know about Reza's connection to these terrorists, how could he treat him like a son and let him marry one of his prized daughters? I dunno. Maybe he thought that if he married PoorMan'sReneeZellweger off to an Islamic fundamentalist, she'd be too busy cooking meals in her burkha to be the whiny brat that she's always been. Palmice promises to talk to Soul Patch, who he's good friends with, and get to the bottom of everything. As they reach Palmice's car, two "workmen" grab Cate and Palmice, inject them with tranquilizers, and shove them into a van. Wow. The screen splits four ways to show the van speeding off, Palmer watching Weiland on TV, Spawn and Enricky awaiting their transfer, and Papa Crew sitting in his interrogation room.
Back on Flight 69, Kiefer watches as Nina sleeps. He wakes her up to share with her a touching memory of Bride, back when she was alive and the Kiefers were still in love. Apparently they were on some boardwalk, and Bride wanted a snow cone, and she ended up talking to this old lady and laughing with her like they were old friends even though they'd never met before. The light gets all filter-y and grainy as he recounts how special Bride was for being able to connect with strangers -- a quality that distrustful secret agent Kiefer never had. "That's what you took away from this world," says Kiefer. "That's what you took from me and my daughter." Nina has this ambiguous expression on her face. It could be remorse, but it could also simply be the realization that Kiefer is going to kill her eventually. So I'm about to go get the tissues and stuff, but all of a sudden the moment is ruined by a cheesy establishing shot of the plane getting hit by a missile. What? Yeah, that's right. The plane's been hit. The crew and all of the agents are stumbling around trying to regain their balance, and it looks really bad. The time is 3:59:58…3:59:59…4:00:00 PM.