Previouslys. Lots of people are dead because of the CTU bombing, and Raygun is fired. PoorMan'sCateBlanchett tells Papa Crew of her suspicions that FarsiBoy is a terrorist. He brushes them off. Darlene is near death, and she's the only person who knows that Whatever encryption code. Spawn learns that JonBenet has been abused a lot in the past. The hospital calls the police on her. Kiefer finds Wald. He kills himself, but not before telling Kiefer that it was Nina (Yelena) who authorized the bombing.
CTU. More bodies are being pulled out of the rubble. Rescue workers are scurrying about. Some building inspector is telling Mason that parts of the building are unsafe, and he might have to shut it down. Now, I don't have an engineering degree, but considering that the building was just bombed and almost thirty people died -- not to mention the fact that there's debris everywhere, all these extras are stumbling around and coughing, and there are broken structural beams sticking out of the walls -- I would have almost shut the building down myself. Except for the "almost" part. Go home, people! It's called telecommuting. Look into it. In addition to the fact that no one is going home, Darlene isn't even allowed to go the hospital. Some medical team is treating her in this very building that's unstable and full of flying dust. Mason comes by to check up on her, and the EMT or doctor or whatever he is tells Mason that they've given her a combination of "stimulants and hydrating fluids," but she hasn't regained consciousness. Stimulants and hydrating fluids? I bet they're giving her instant coffee. Mason urges them to "wake her up" faster.
Soul Patch is on his way out the door. Mason asks him where he's headed. Soul Patch tells him that he's headed for Chez Crew to follow up on a lead…and give the Chez Crew subplot a connection to the rest of this show. Soul Patch explains that he just found an "L.A. connection to Syed Ali." Now, please note that they don't actually show the private detective, Ralph Burton, phoning CTU with this piece of information; nor does Soul Patch ever reveal who told him about FarsiBoy, so Ralph Burton could still be up to something. Mason wants Soul Patch to stay with him at CTU. Ooh la la! Soul Patch insists on going, because all of their other investigators are dead and it seems to be an important lead. "Be reachable," says Mason, with his hand on Soul Patch's arm. Ooh la la. Bitchelle wanders by, pushing some sort of cart. That smudge of soot is still artfully placed on her forehead. "What are you looking at?" says Mason. Hee!
A rayon-clad secretary tells Mason that he has a phone call. RayonCladSecretary? You are answering phones in a building that is collapsing around you. Go home! Mason can answer his own damn phone. The screen splits to reveal that the kall is from Kiefer, who is driving back from Wald-en Pond. Kiefer tells Mason that he learned last week -- I mean, "five minutes ago" -- that Nina gave Wald orders and the information necessary to bomb CTU long before the day of the California primary. Furthermore, Kiefer has already called Chappelle -- and, no, Father Intintola doesn't appear in this episode -- and had Nina "transferred" to CTU for questioning. Hello? Not only is CTU not a hospital or a high security prison, it is also no longer a structurally sound building. Wanna talk to Nina? Send Bitchelle over to the prison with a list of friggin' questions. Maybe the fresh air will prevent her from developing chronic asthma and bringing a class action lawsuit against the U.S. Government. While you're at it, wheel Darlene's unconscious body into the cell with them and have Bitchelle wake her up for the encryption code. That way, when she dies, you can blame Nina. Just stop having people come to CTU! If the CTU building were a ship, she'd be christened the Titanic. If CTU were a blimp, it would be called the Hindenberg. If CTU were a person, her name would be Liza Minnelli. Is anyone listening to me? Bombed building? Never mind. I guess Mason can hear me, because he tells Kiefer to go "debrief" at Division headquarters instead of CTU. I was wondering when they'd bring that word out again. (And no, it still hasn't gotten old yet.) He thanks Kiefer for a job well done and tells Bitchelle to set up the interrogation room for Nina. "The CTU agent who killed Kiefer's wife?" asks Bitchelle. Mason confirms this and orders her to have three armed agents guarding Nina.
NSA. With Raygun gone, Palmer and his assembled staff members submit to yet another presentation on how much damage the bomb is going to do to L.A. and the surrounding areas. Rolaide enters and informs Palmer quietly that the Ambassador of Fauxraqistan and the Fauxraqistani Chief of Intelligence are just about to land. Palmer tells her to bring him any new information they've gathered about the Second Wave. Palmer also asks after someone named Roger. Apparently he's Raygun's replacement, who is somewhere being briefed.
Back at St. Virgil's, Spawn waits for the police to arrive. She sees a black and white car pull into the parking lot, freaks out, and starts to walk in the opposite direction. Hey, look who's slouching with his hands in his pockets in front of his locker! It's Dylan McKay, trying to decide between Kelly and Brenda. No, wait, it's DaddyStopTouchingMe. "Everything's going to be okay, Spawn," says DaddyStopTouchingMe. He tells her that if she leaves now, he'll tell the police that it was "just a misunderstanding." Otherwise, according to him, she'll be arrested for kidnapping and abusing JonBenet, and Crazy Laura will back him up. "Walk away while you have the chance," he says. "Otherwise, you're going to jail." Spawn shudders at the memory of jail -- the pot-smoking, the girl-on-girl non-action, the bad hairstyles, and the poorly choreographed fight scenes -- and runs away just as two uniformed police officers approach the main desk.
Meanwhile, back at NSA, Palmer is talking to PoorMan'sHumeCronyn on the phone, and no, we still haven't actually seen him on camera. He's probably taking Theo, Nicole, and Todd out for microbrews and wings. Palmer tells PMHC to be careful not to leak news about the B-O-M-B to the general public, and ends the call just as "Roger," Raygun's replacement, enters. "Roger" is played by character actor Harris Yulin, who specializes in patrician authority figures who turn out to be corrupt. In fact, he was just on Buffy playing that head Watcher who is always trying to fuck with Giles and Buffy. Yulin never disappoints, least of all tonight. He covers all of the bases in a way that only a master turncoat and/or red herring like Yulin can. He butters Palmer up by bad-mouthing Raygun and promising a full investigation into his wrongdoings. Then he solemnly casts his eyes downward and expresses his deep sorrow over the twenty-nine (and counting) casualties at CTU, and promises to help Palmer get things back on track. They get down to business. Yulin is concerned about the meeting with the ambassador to Fauxraqistan. He thinks that they're going to use the crisis to gain access to U.S. intelligence, and that otherwise they're only playing along for PR purposes. Palmer agrees that Yulin might be right, but he's willing to take that risk if it means stopping the bomb. "Very good, sir," says Yulin like the evil toady that he is.
So Harris Yulin has joined the cast. What's up with that?
CTU. Bitchelle is getting her hand bandaged by a hunky emergency rescue worker while she tells Mason that Nina's chopper is on its way. Mason tells her to get the video camera ready for Nina's interrogation. Oh, I like the sound of that. Kiefer enters, amazed at all the damage. Mason wants to know what he's doing there, since he told Kief to "debrief" at Division. Kiefer wants to "debrief" at CTU because there's no Wald data available at Division…or something. Mason tells Kiefer that he doesn't want him around when Nina, the woman who killed his wife, arrives. He tells him to "debrief" and go. Kiefer reluctantly agrees. Just then, Darlene regains consciousness. She doesn't even remember the explosion. Mason and Bitchelle try to get the encryption code from her. Darlene gives them two pieces of Whatever password information. Bitchelle runs over to the computer and keys in the information. The computer makes a happy sound and the data is successfully encrypted…or unencrypted…or decrypted…or whatever. Mason tells her that she "did good" and that many lives will be saved thanks to her. Darlene manages to smile. The EMTs start to rush her to the hospital, but flatlining sounds start emanating from her gurney. They try to revive her with the paddles, but it's no use. She dies, but with a smile on her face. Mason and Bitchelle feel like shit. The time is 12:13:15 PM.
Chez Crew. FarsiBoy and Cate are back from their errand of cheap suspense and lunch-getting. Reza takes the food inside while Papa Crew asks Cate how she liked the house that Reza bought for PoorMan'sReneeZellweger. Cate is surprised that Papa Crew knew about their detour. Papa Crew explains that he wanted Cate to see the house so she'd feel better about Reza. Cate explains that she feels fine about Reza as far as his relationship with PoorMan'sReneeZellweger, but she's concerned that he might be up to something illegal. Papa Crew assures Cate that Ralph Burton is a P.I. with an agenda who could find connections where none exist. Soul Patch pulls up, accompanied by a -- uh oh -- handsome black CTU agent. Soul Patch identifies himself to Cate and Papa Crew, and asks to speak to FarsiBoy about a "government matter." Papa Crew tries to explain that the matter has "all been cleared up," and even attempts to buy time by explaining that it's the day of his other daughter's wedding, but Soul Patch insists that it can't wait. Cate goes off to find Reza, but not without doing some cheesy "eye-acting" of the sort not seen since Li'l Lisa Bonet. Reza is in the kitchen, helping the maid lay out a lunch that looks like it's about to be photographed for the Williams Sonoma catalog. You know those pretty glass bottles of oils and vinegars with sprigs of fresh herbs floating inside that you always get as gifts but never open? Chez Crew has, like, forty of them lying around. After what seems like a twenty-minute pause, Cate tells him that there's someone "from the government" is there to see him. Meanwhile, she hops from one leg to the other like she has to pee really bad. All I can say is that I would love to play high stakes poker with this girl. She couldn't bluff her way out of a paper bag. Reza asks her what the visit is about. Cate explains that it's a counter-terrorist agent. Reza tells her to make sure that PoorMan'sReneeZellweger, who is trying on her dress in the room, doesn't find out what's happening. He goes into the dining room with Soul Patch and the handsome black agent du jour, and closes the door just seconds before PoorMan'sReneeZellweger opens the door of her dressing room down the hall to let in the maid with lunch. Cate fidgets with her hair and keeps touching her neck. Yeah, we get it. She feels guilty! End the scene already!
NSA. The Ambassador and Chief Intelligence Officer of Fauxraqistan are meeting with Palmer, Rolaide, and Yulin. These two guys couldn't look any less authentic if they were wearing t-shirts that said "I'm with the enemy government." Seriously, it looks like the casting director was buying a cell phone at a discount electronics store in downtown L.A. and he asked the two Pakistani guys behind the counter if they wanted to be on TV. Anyway, the Fauxraqistanis insist that they have brought several Second Wave members in for questioning, and that they're making stellar progress in clamping down on terrorist activity in their country. Yulin whips out some satellite photos taken today which show that terrorist activity is still taking place in Fauxraqistan. Um, what? Palmer had a conversation with the Prime Minister of Fauxraqistan three hours ago. What kind of progress was Yulin expecting? And what's in those aerial photos that prove that "terrorism is still taking place"? Is some Fauxraqi terrorist marching band lining up to form the letters "America sucks donkey cock" on a football field? Nevertheless, the pictures seem to make the Fauxraqis nervous. They explain that they don't have the kind of resources that U.S. has for dealing with terrorism, plus even the U.S. doesn't know everything about the paramilitary terrorists in their own country. At the mention of American terrorists like Tim McVeigh, Rolaide and Palmer get antsy, obviously reminded of the CTU bombing. The Fauxraqis want to help, so they propose an exchange of intelligence. If Palmer allows them access to their files, the Fauxraqis will let them see their files. Like there's some big filing cabinet somewhere that's locked up. Palmer promises to consider it, and ends the meeting. When the Fauxraqis exit, Yulin tells Palmer that they couldn't possibly give them access to their files. "We have agents in their country," says Yulin, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Those files would expose their identity." Palmer suggests that they go into the files first and "take out" any mention of their agents before they show them to the Fauxraqis. Yulin just doesn't trust the Fauxraqi government. He still thinks they're funding the Second Wave. Plus he bought a DVD player from one of them, and it fell apart as soon as the warrantee expired. Palmer asks Rolaide what she thinks. Rolaide agrees with Yulin.
Back at CTU, Kiefer is debriefing. Or I guess that's what he's doing, since that's the only thing Mason wanted him to do. For all those curious viewers out there, the "debriefing" seems to involve no more than some typing at a laptop. His phone rings. It's Spawn, calling from a payphone. Now that each of them knows the other survived the bombing, Kiefer wants Spawn to go to Aunt Carol's. Spawn explains that she can't because of JonBenet. Kiefer urges her to get out of L.A., because something bad is going to happen. Spawn insists on knowing what he's talking about. Kiefer tells her about the B-O-M-B. Spawn looks mildly traumatized at the news. Like she just found out that she didn't get the part of Chava in her high school production of Fiddler on the Roof. She promises to get over to Aunt Carol's pronto. Kiefer begs her not to tell anyone about the B-O-M-B or she'll start a panic. They both exchange "I love you"s and hang up. Bitchelle walks over and tries to hurry Kiefer up with his debriefing in order to get him out of there before Nina shows up. Kiefer calls her on her rush tactics and tells her not to get caught in the middle. Just then, a fleet of shadowy figures enter CTU. It's Nina and her entourage. I haven't been this excited since Madonna entered the stage at Madison Square Garden with her newly assembled team of gay ethnic back-up dancers and asked me and the thousands of other screaming fans in the audience if I "believe in love" before she opened her show with "Express Yourself." Nina's wearing something grey and nubby that could either be the uniform you'd be assigned in a Korean reeducation camp or something you'd buy at Comme des Garcons. She's also wearing handcuffs and leg irons. Kiefer is kaptivated. Nina smirks at him from across the floor as she walks by as if to say, "Ha ha! I killed your wife and I'm still alive!" He gets a good long look before she is escorted into the interrogation room. The time is 12:28:13 PM.
The time is 12:32:41 PM. Nina sits and waits for her interrogation to begin, Kiefer eats his heart out in the room, Cate waits while Reza is interrogated, and Yulin paces around his office looking suspicious. Mason enters the interrogation room and sits across from Nina. For some reason, the interrogation room seems untouched by the bombing. The Modotti table and Emeco naval chairs are still intact. Even that wall hanging is dust-free. "So you weren't just working for the Drazens," says Mason. "Selling information to anyone who'd buy it: presidential assassins, terrorists, it doesn't matter." See, I just think this is just another double standard that is way too prevalent in our culture. If Nina were a man who was selling government secrets on the open market, he'd be considered a stud or a great businessman. Mason would totally give him a high five, and there'd be all this bragging in the locker room. But because Nina is a woman who sells information to the highest bidder -- who in this case are genocidal terrorists -- she's considered a prostitute. It's all about the Madonna/whore complex. You're either a virginal government worker who refrains from telling terrorists how to bomb governmental buildings, or you're this terrorist slut who is totally devalued and objectified. I just wish that someday society would become enlightened to the point where we could have TV shows that showed smart, sexy, successful women who betrayed their countries without having to apologize or pay some other price for not being barefoot and pregnant. It's a man's world. Don't get me started.
Nina, who no longer has that German accent for some reason but has a suntan, ignores George and states the terms of her cooperation. She wants full immunity in return for all of her intel and the names of all of her contacts. Mason tries to play hardball. Nina asks to be taken back to prison. Mason leaves the room to call Chappelle. Kiefer approaches him and asks him how the interrogation went. "Finish your debrief and go," says Mason.
Back at Chez Crew, Soul Patch is interrogating Reza. Reza isn't really taking Soul Patch seriously and keeps trying to leave the room to go get married. Soul Patch makes him sit down, and asks him about his relationship to Syed Ali. Reza denies knowing Syed Ali. Soul Patch, who is digging around in Reza's laptop, asks Reza how come Syed's name and contact info are in Reza's files. Reza says he doesn't know, and looks genuinely confused. Meanwhile, outside the room, Handsome Black Agent Du Jour stands guard while Papa Crew and Cate pace the halls and pray that PoorMan'sReneeZellweger doesn't realize what's going on.
Back at NSA, Palmer has ignored the advice of Rolaide and Yulin and decided to exchange information with the Fauxraqis -- but with certain restrictions. Yulin whines that it should be a "one-way dialogue." Yulin? There are no "one-way dialogues" as far as the English language is concerned. That's why we have the word "monologue." They are interrupted by a phone call from Chappelle, asking to secure Nina's immunity.
Meanwhile, back at CTU, Kiefer hands Bitchelle his "debrief." He keeps lurking around, trying to get a gander at Nina. Bitchelle explains that she's supposed to get him out of there. "That's not going to happen, is it?" she asks. "This is the first time I've seen her since…" says Kiefer, not finishing the sentence. Bitchelle tells Kiefer to stop torturing himself and get out of there. The phone rings. It's Palmer for Kiefer. He wanted to tell Kiefer himself: Nina's getting a top-secret pardon. Kiefer's face turns to stone. Even Bitchelle's attempt to give him a blowjob doesn't distract him. The time is 12:40:15 PM.
The time is 12:44:37 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Cate waits, Soul Patch interrogates Reza, and musicians in a rock band rehearse in a recording studio. In the recording studio, some generically cute twenty-something dude with shaggy hair answers the phone. It's Spawn calling. Oh, so this is the boyfriend we've been reading about who is supposed to appear at some point within the season. His name is Miguel, and now that it's mentioned, he does look Hispanic, but only in the way that Latin soap opera stars look Hispanic. Oh, and Miguel makes Rick look smart and charismatic by comparison. Spawn needs Miguel to come help her immediately, but she can't tell him why. Miguel can't come, because he's "recording" with a "studio full of people." Oh, Miguel, I'm sure that these people can find someone else to bring them lattes if it's really an emergency. After much girly begging, Miguel agrees to drop whatever he's doing and run to Spawn's side. Boy, do I wish I had a vagina sometimes.
In the CTU men's room, Mason is taking an anti-nausea pill when Kiefer enters and asks Mason if he can question Nina. "I know how she thinks," he says. "I'm not talking to you," says Mason, exiting. "Because you're not here right now." Kiefer sees the pills that Mason left behind on the men's room sink. Back on the floor, Bitchelle has just set up the video monitors. Kiefer asks her for a report on all of Mason's activities within the last twelve hours. "I think something's happened to him," he says. Kiefer's not cleared for this information, but no one, especially Bitchelle, can resist the Sutherland velvety bedroom whisper.
Back at Chez Crew, PoorMan'sReneeZellweger is finished trying on the dress, and brags that it will fit perfectly if she skips lunch. Cate tries to keep her away from the dining room door, but she can't. PoorMan'sReneeZellweger sees HandsomeBlackAgentDuJour, demands to know where her fiancé is, and has a temper tantrum. She even uses the old "this is my house" line on HBADJ. Jeez, I'm surprised she didn't just whip out a gun and shoot him. She could totally get away with it. They have vast supplies of these expendable black men back at the base. Cate manages to pull her away from the door, and explains to her about the background check she did on Reza and how that led to a visit from CTU and the interrogation et cetera. PoorMan'sReneeZellweger is appalled that Cate had Reza investigated behind her back. Papa Crew tries, unsuccessfully, to calm her down, and Cate tries to apologize, but PoorMan'sReneeZellweger's mind is made up: Cate is no longer invited to the wedding. Are we supposed to care? The time is 12:50:13 PM.
The time is 12:54:51 PM. Back at the hospital parking lot where Spawn is waiting, Miguel arrives in a cab. He is wearing an Antique Boutique ensemble of a toffee-colored pleather jacket and a seventies-style polyester shirt. Spawn bitches him out for not bringing his car, which Miguel has lent to a friend of his. Miguel says that they can just "take a cab." Spawn doesn't think so. She tells Miguel about her morning: the bashing of JonBenet, the kidnapping charges being brought against Spawn, and so on. Miguel tries to talk her out of getting involved, but Spawn's boobs -- plus the news of a nuclear device threatening to destroy L.A. that very day -- convince Miguel to cooperate.
Back at CTU, Mason enters Ye Olde Kiefer Kube to find Kiefer himself sitting at his desk. The jig is up. Kiefer knows that Mason inhaled plutonium and has days, if not hours, to live. "I'm not the only person who shouldn't be here today," intones Kiefer's solemn velvety bedroom whisper. Kiefer threatens to call Division and tell them about Mason's illness if he doesn't let him interrogate Nina himself. Mason reluctantly agrees. Oh yeah, like that wasn't going to happen.
NSA. Palmer turns on the news to find that the Fauxraqi ambassador and intelligence officer were killed in a helicopter crash on their way back to Fauxraqistan to confer with the Prime Minister. Dun dun dun! The screen splits to show Palmer's reaction, FarsiBoy getting angry with Soul Patch, and Spawn sneaking her boobs and her boyfriend into the hospital. Meanwhile, Kiefer approaches the video screens set up to tape Nina's interrogation. He stares at Nina's face over the monitor. Nina looks right back at him. Wait, she can't see him from the interrogation room. Can she? Can she??!! The time is 12:59:58…12:59:59…1:00:00 PM.