Man, was it hard to write my recap this week. The trouble started when I read Alex Richmond's brilliant7th Heavenguest recap. I vowed that I would work as good a line as "sorry to bust your groove, Willa Cather!" in to my recap this week, but the magic just wasn't there for me. From that point on, my confidence was shot. Damn you to hell, Alex Richmond!
A few shots of electric blue Kiefer. The 24 logo. Previouslys. Terrorists have planted a nuclear device in L.A., and KreepyEric keeps second-guessing Palmer like LadyMac used to. PoorMan'sReneeZellweger is about to marry FarsiBoy, but her sister PoorMan'sCateBlanchett suspects that he's a terrorist. Kim is a nanny for the family from hell. Lifetime movie hell, that is. Kiefer left CTU, but they pulled him back in. "I'm going to need a hacksaw." The following takes place between 9:00 AM and 10:00 AM.
Northwest Regional Operations Complex. Exterior shot of a military jeep entering the complex. Inside, Lynne and President Palmer are discussing what federal agencies can be entrusted with information regarding the nuclear device. Lynne, by the way, is sitting on a Mies Van Der Rohe Barcelona Chair. Um, hello? Could this be anymore of a shout-out to me? Not only is this chair available at DWR, but it is listed in my TWoP Bio as my favorite chair. Lynne and Palmer discuss aspects of the terrorist threat, but I'm not paying attention. I'm just wondering how Lynne's butt feels in that Barcelona Chair with matching ottoman. Actually, I know how it feels. It feels divine. I went to ABC Carpet last month and sat in one. Nicole Kidman is leaning on the back of one in this month's issue of Vanity Fair. I'm a trendsetter, goddammit!
Oh, speaking of terrorist threats, we now cut to Mohammed Abu Shimal Shaka Zulu, or whatever his name is. He and his terrorist cell are loading something (the bomb, I assume) into a van. A garage door opens, and the van cruises out. The logo on the van reads, "America Delivery." Geddit?
Meanwhile, at I'llGiveYouSomethingToCryAbout Manor, just moments after last week's smackdown of JonBenet, DaddyStopTouchingMe is on the phone with the company he works for, grasping feverishly for an excuse for why he's not in the office. Um, what does DaddyStopTouchingMe do? Work the register at Kinko's? You'd think that a guy who lived in a home as palatial as his would either own the damn company already or at least have an assistant in his employ who'd cover for him. Meanwhile, Spawn and JonBenet, who are still in crash position on the floor, are exchanging conspiratorial glances at each other. Spawn gestures with her immaculate manicure toward the bedroom door, and the two of them scamper quietly out of there while DaddyStopTouchingMe is distracted by his phone conversation. As they run down the stairs of this frickin' gorgeous cream-colored home, Crazy Laura tosses Spawn her car keys and tells her to get JonBenet away to safety. Uh, where are they supposed to go? DaddyStopTouchingMe realizes that the gals are leaving the building, and runs after them past Crazy Laura, who is crying really, really hard. Spawn gets into a -- you guessed it! -- Ford minivan and drives away, despite DaddyStopTouchingMe's attempts to stop her. He even threatens to kill her. Oh, and through all of this, JonBenet actually has her seatbelt fastened. DaddyStopTouchingMe whips out his cell phone and calls his car security company to find out the exact location of his car. Ooooh! It looked for a mere second like DaddyStopTouchingMe was hooked up with some terrorists or something with the way he was reciting those numbers. Nah, just LoJack.
And speaking of LowJack, the time is 09:04:53 AM. Nina 2.0 and Kiefer are cruising L.A. in a CTU helicopter, which is making its way toward a salvage yard where plot device…I mean, "potential terrorist" Wald is based. Uh, wasn't Kiefer just shaving five minutes ago? How'd he get into the air so fast? Nina 2.0 briefs Kief about the salvage yard where Wald hangs out and the location of the car that will be waiting for him. "There's a tracker in the trunk," says Nina 2.0, handing him the keys. Kiefer asks about Wald's posse. Nina 2.0 whips out her laptop and starts showing him .jpegs of various -- really cute, incidentally -- terrorists who hang with Wald. Kiefer has never seen these men before. Oh, wait -- Kiefer does recognize Eddie Grant, one of Wald's most important "go to" guys. Hey I recognize the name Eddie Grant. He sang that song "Electric Avenue" back in 1982. I remember this party I went to when I was in junior high where the host had just purchased the single. Turned out it was the only recording of music he owned so we spent the entire evening listening to "Electric Avenue" over and over again. Well, sometimes we took a break and flipped it over to the instrumental version on the B side. It was a good song…but not that good. To this day, whenever I hear see the video on some VH1 tribute to one-hit wonders, I can still vividly taste the Cheetos and Orange Crush on my breath. Anyway, Kiefer klaims that Eddie and he were friends back when he was undercover. The mission is starting to look promising after all. Kiefer gazes through his sunglasses at the ground below him thoughtfully. Anthemic music plays.
Back at NSA, Lynne is concerned that the press is starting to ask kwestions about why Palmer kut short his fishing trip with Theo. Uh, because it was "with Theo"? I mean, I'm thrilled that Palmer is trying to be there for Theo, seeing as how African-American fathers are perceived statistically as being absent from their kids' lives, but you know, sometimes there are extenuating circumstances that prevent one from being a hands-on father…like if your kids are douchebags, for instance. Lynne prepares Palmer for the inevitable questions while KreepyEric eavesdrops -- or whatever it is you do when you're a mere two feet away and hardly have to strain to listen in on a private conversation. "I better take care of it myself," reassures Palmer. KreepyEric wants to put his two cents in. He feels that Palmer should roll up his sleeves and deal with the problems at hand. Palmer wants to deal with the press, explaining that should a rumor leak out about the bomb, mass hysteria would ensue. A mass hysteria, by the way, that would be as dangerous as, if not more dangerous than, an actual nuclear blast.
The KieferKopter touches down in some parking lot. Kiefer steps off the Kopter and calls Mason on his cell. He asks after Spawn and her transportation to safety. Mason admits that they can't find Spawn at No!DaddyNo! Manor -- because you know she just ran away from there to prevent JonBenet from more abuse. "Dammit, George," says Kiefer, the velvety voice roughed up like a buzz saw. "I told you to tell me the second you know anything." Mason dryly claims that he was "just picking up the phone." Mason reassures the Kief that Spawn will be found and subsequently hustled out of L.A. to safety. Kiefer thanks George, climbs into his new Ford Kiefmobile, and takes off for pastures unknown. While in the Kiefmobile, Kiefer kalls Spawn to give one more velvety pitch that Spawn leave L.A. A shot of Kim's dresser at No!DaddyNo! Manor establishes that Spawn left her cell phone behind.
Meanwhile, back at CTU, Darlene is sitting behind the perforated metal wall divider, tracking something important-looking on her monitor. It blips and everything. Okay, who knows, maybe it's a video game. Soul Patch enters and asks her how her work is going. Nervous Darlene asks him if they should be working on this project somewhere outside of L.A. You know, because of that whole "bomb planted in L.A. thing"? Soul Patch tells her to stop thinking about it. "You never know how good the intel is," he says. And no, I don't know if "intel" is short for "intelligence" or if Soul Patch is referring to the PC that only 24 moles use. And yes, Darlene is using a PC. Dun dun dun! Mason enters and tells Soul Patch and Nina 2.0 that moments ago border patrol uncovered two forged Middle Eastern plot devices…I mean, "passports" in a van they were searching. Uh, why would someone forge a "Middle Eastern" passport to cross the Mexican border? Wouldn't you want to, say, forge a U.S. passport to get into the U.S.? Nevertheless, Nina 2.0 opens up a computer program that gives her iMac the power of omniscience, because with just a few clicks of a button she is able to pull up digital images of that very passport to show Mason and Soul Patch. From there they are able to determine that the paper stock used to make the forged passports is the same paper stock used to make other TerrorPassports…or something. Like, why don't they just type "where's that bomb and who planted it?" into this computer and thwart this terrorist plot that way if it's that simple? Apparently this van was headed toward an address in Culver City, and Mason wants an agent to investigate said address. Oh yeah, like terrorists give accurate information to immigration officials about exactly where they're headed in the interests of fair play. What this all boils down to is that the CTU agent assigned to go find Kim and get her out of L.A. is now needed in Culver City, and basically Mason is breaking yet another promise to Kiefer. Soul Patch protests, so Mason tells him to send a lesser agent to No!DaddyNo! Manor to wait for Kim. And no, we don't ever actually see either of these agents at No!DaddyNo! Manor, because apparently there's no more money in the budget to cast a couple of handsome black men in these roles.
Did they fire their composer from last year or something? I say this because they've recycled that musical theme from "10:00 AM -- 11:00 AM" last season, and come to think of it, they haven't had any other original music playing so far this season. Everything else on the soundtrack seems to be the sort of stock compositions that are sold cheaply to Lifetime movies or nighttime soap operas. Anyway, I like this theme. As I said in my recap last year, it reminds me of the music that the Kronos Quartet did for Requiem for a Dream. Anyway, Kiefer has arrived at some sleazy L.A. auto repair garage, and you just know there are bad people hanging out here. Kiefer's underkover outfit consists of a pair of tight faded jeans, a black Gap pocket tee, and one of those sage green bomber jackets that you can get at Army/Navy stores for $19.99. I know this because I owned one in navy blue. When I first moved to New York and I was young, foolish, and flush with credit, I stupidly purchased a Calvin Klein duffel coat at Bergdorf Goodman and paid full retail price. Three months later, a cokehead that my friend was dating stole it from me at a party and disappeared, so not only had I overpaid for the thing, I didn't even have it anymore. The day, I had to go to work and it was cold, so I ran coatless into this Army Navy store in my neighborhood and bought my navy blue bomber jacket. It had an orange lining and a zippered pocket in the sleeve for pens. It was only to hold me over until my great coat. That very day, I was told at least eleven times that it looked like I'd lost weight, so I started wearing this thing everywhere. I think I even wore it to the beach that summer. I had that thing for three years. Every time I considered replacing it, I remembered the missing Calvin Klein coat. The idea of spending another cent on outerwear enraged me to such an extent that I clung to my bomber jacket like Linus to his blanket. Finally my friends staged an intervention and told me about sample sales.
Anyway, Kiefer enters Atlas Auto Wreckers -- geddit? Because he has the weight of the world in his shoulders? -- and asks the spindly Beck look-alike behind the counter for "Joe." SpindlyBeckLookalike raises an eyebrow in confusion and is all, "Joe?" right back at Kiefer, and at this point I would have paid anything to have Kiefer say, "Joe Mama!" back to him, but alas…SpindlyBeckLookalike denies that there's a Joe working there. Kiefer insists on leaving a message for him anyway. "Why don't I tell him, Kiefer?" says a smoldering stevedore entering from the rear…uh, I mean "appearing behind Kiefer." "I'm sure he'd love to see the guy who put him in jail!" At this point, a flock of photogenic white tough guys appear. They're the sorts of people that always show up as extras playing gang members in Michael Jackson videos. They surround Kiefer. Kiefer swears that he's not the one who put Wald in jail and tries to explain, but before he can, some tough in a backwards baseball cap knocks him to the ground. "Get the back room ready," says SmolderingStevedore. I swear he really said that. Sometimes the innuendo just takes care of itself. And what's with getting this back room -- that is not full of gay men having anonymous sex -- "ready"? What are they doing? Putting fresh linens on the bed and laying out an assortment of trial-size Aveda products? Kiefer implores SmolderingStevedore, who turns out to be the aforementioned Eddie Grant, to go look at the bowling bag that Kiefer left on the kounter. They look inside the bag. It contains the head of Marshall Goren, the key witness against Joe Wald. Remember the hacksaw? "Think of it as a present for Joe," says Kiefer as the men back away from the bag in disgust. SmolderingStevedore approaches Kiefer slowly, getting almost close enough to tweak his nipples and stick his tongue down his throat. A broad grin breaks out on his face. Kiefer giggles with relief. "Jack's back," says SmolderingStevedore, leading Kiefer into the back room. The time is 09:12:01 AM.
Commercials! Woo hoo! None worth mentioning, however.
The time is 9:16:17 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Spawn drives JonBenet further from No!DaddyNo! Manor, and Palmer takes questions from the press. Boy, that Palmer sure does give good spin. He answers the press's questions with flair and panache, claiming that his fishing trip was cut short because he ran out of things to talk about with his son and he caught his quota of fish already. "My own conservation policy came back to haunt me," he jokes. The press laps it all up with a spoon. Well, all except for one member of the press, a toadily suspicious-looking man who resembles Bob Balaban and keeps trying to have private conversations with members of Palmer's staff. When Palmer finishes up, AsianPatty warns Palmer that PressToad, whose real name is Weiland, seems to have caught on to the fact that there's a national emergency. Palmer tells Asian Patty to keep an eye on PressToad.
Meanwhile, Spawn is driving the getaway car down some industrial-looking streets on her way to the police station when she is forced to stop for construction. JonBenet whines that her head hurts. Spawn decides to take a detour down an alley. A blue sports car (Ford Thunderbird?) cuts them off at the end. It's DaddyStopTouchingMe. Wasn't his car red last week? "Make him go away!" whines JonBenet. Spawn tries to back up, but a Ford van is behind her. DaddyStopTouchingMe gets out of the car and demands that Spawn give him his daughter back, then tries to get JonBenet to come out on her own. Spawn and JonBenet have locked the car doors, but DaddyStopTouchingMe has the remote, so he can unlock them from the outside. D'oh! Spawn and JonBenet make a run for it. DaddyStopTouchingMe is in hot pursuit, but he slams into a pedestrian and loses sight of them. The girls hide behind a dumpster. Hey, isn't that the same dumpster that Po Ho hid behind when he blew his clients last season? I think it is. Using this set again is either laziness or homage, I can't tell which. DaddyStopTouchingMe calls out for JonBenet. When she doesn't respond, he gets really angry and kicks something.
The time is 09:20:03 AM. Kiefer and the junkyard boys are out behind the auto body shop watching a Crispin Glover look-alike assemble something that looks to be a bomb. CrispinGloverLookalike is suspicious of Kiefer and wants to know who he is. Kiefer swears that he's a friend of Joe's and that he's been away doing time down in a Florida prison. Crispin is suspicious that Kiefer would show up "today of all days," and insists that he check out Kiefer's record. He happens to have a laptop with internet access right there, so he logs onto the Florida prison and looks up Kiefer, who is using the alias Jack Roush -- a shout-out to TV Guide critic Matt Roush? Anyway, this part is supposed to be really suspenseful and scary, but it's not. While Crispin is logging onto the Gainesville jail website, Darlene hacks into his connection from CTU and plants the necessary information to back up Jack Roush's claims that he served time there. Tension builds while a flustered, panicked Darlene types the information as fast as she can…well, except for the "tension" part. While the internet search is delayed as Darlene types, Crispin and Eddie warn Kiefer that he'll be killed if the information doesn't check out. Now, I just gotta say that I'm as concerned about Kiefer's life as any 24 fan has a right to be, but I refuse to be on the edge of my seat over a web search. Can the new girl Darlene type fast enough to save Kiefer's life? Type, Lola, type! Darlene enters the information on time. Kiefer's life is spared thanks to those magic fingers of Darlene's! Wow, I need a cigarette! Eddie Grant bitches out Crispin for almost making him shoot Kiefer, and apologizes to Kiefer for almost shooting him. They walk away from Crispin and reminisce about a -- ahem --Ford Mustang that Kiefer once owned. Crispin watches them from his komputer, still not konvinced of Kiefer's klaims. The time is 09:24:04 AM.
The time is 09:28:29 AM. Spawn and JonBenet kontinue to take kover behind the Po Ho dumpster, Mason putters around his office, and Palmer pulls KreepyEric over for a chat. Palmer asks KreepyEric the status of the investigation. KreepyEric explains that they might not be able to stop the bomb in time, since they've only had a few hours' notice. He urges Palmer to think about what his plan of action will be if there is a detonation, and makes another pitch for a meeting with the Pentagon. Palmer is all, whatever. KreepyEric exits, and Palmer sits down at his desk. Lynne enters with some bad news. Apparently PressToad is giving a ten-minute live report at the beginning of Episode 205…I mean, "noon." He has figured out that there is a national emergency. Palmer slams his fist into his desk. "Set up a private interview with him in ten minutes," says Palmer. He also sends for someone named "Armus." The name makes Lynne's eyes widen. I take it that Armus is this year's KreepyKarl.
Back at the Rough Trade Auto Shop, Eddie has gone to get Joe, so Kiefer and Krispin kontinue to klash. Kiefer tries to help Krispin wire the explosive device that he's working on, making suggestions about the "tightening the fuse" and whatnot, but Krispin tells him to get lost. Eddie returns and restores the peace. He takes Kiefer aside and tells him that Joe's too busy to see him. "Come back again tomorrow," says Eddie. Obviously that's too late for Kiefer, so he begs to see Joe for five minutes. Eddie explains that he and the junkyard boys are doing something important that day and really can't be bothered. Kiefer accepts this and promises to come back tomorrow. He gets into the Kiefmobile and makes a cell phone call to Mason, advising him that the junkyard boys are putting together a bomb and therefore involved. He suggests having CTU detain them. Mason is reluctant to do so, because he wants Kiefer to see Wald and have Wald lead them to the Second Wave. A raid, according to Mason, would prevent that from happening. Kiefer hangs up with Mason and fakes having car trouble while he surreptitiously watches the junkyard gang load up a van. Krispin watches Kiefer watch the junkyard boys load up the van.
Ye Olde Kiefer Kube. Mason sits down at his computer and checks out a highly confidential report about the probability of the terrorist bomb actually detonating. According to this report, the chances are really high: 89-93 percent. That's, like, the effectiveness rate of condoms with spermicide. And where do they get these "odds," anyway? Vegas? Can they get Academy Award predictions too? I guess this news freaks Mason out, because they show a huge close-up of one of his eyes for about ten minutes, and then he packs up his briefcase, logs off his computer, leaves his office, and heads for the front exit. On his way out, Soul Patch stops him to ask him where he's going. Ah, yes, good old nosy Soul Patch. That's the Soul Patch we fell in love with during the first season. Mason lies and claims that he's checking out something in Bakersfield himself, since they've got a shortage of field agents. Soul Patch accuses Mason of sleeping with Kiefer. Oh, wait -- wrong season, wrong character. Soul Patch accuses Mason of looking to get out of the blast radius. "Who the hell do you think you are," says Mason. "Do you have access to my information?" Soul Patch replies that he doesn't have such access. "Then shut up and do your job," says Mason. Oh, where were you last season, Mason? He exits the building as Darlene and Nina 2.0 each give the camera ambigu-gazes. The time is 09:36:23 AM.
The time is 09:40:48 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Palmer does some presidential office work, JonBenet adjusts to life on the run, and Kiefer looks under the hood of the Kiefmobile. The girls have a new hiding place. They are now behind a large pile of empty boxes. Okay, you know how they have those play centers for kids where you can horse around in a giant pool filled with ping-pong balls? Well, I guess in poorer neighborhoods, the kids have to amuse themselves in a pool full of empty cardboard boxes like this one. JonBenet's head hurts. She's tired of running. DaddyStopTouchingMe's Ford Thunderbird cruises past them. Spawn wants to find a phone and call the police, but JonBenet insists that she can't move. Spawn tells JonBenet to wait there while she calls 911. "Do you promise to wait here?" asks Spawn. JonBenet promises. Oh, yeah, that's like the line "I'll be right back" in horror films. There's no way JonBenet is going to be there when Spawn gets back. Nevertheless, Spawn piles a bunch of boxes on top of JonBenet to hide her from DaddyStopTouchingMe, and reminds her yet again to stay put. Yeah, that'll happen.
Chez Crew. PoorMan'sCateBlanchett is on the phone with Burton the private detective, who I suspect is this season's FauxYork in that he's not who he says he is and he's just using PoorMan'sCateBlanchett to spy on FarsiBoy. But I could be wrong. Cate klaims that she can't get her hands on FarsiBoy's wallet, which is needed so that Burton can run a check on his ID. Burton suggests that she get his passport instead, since it's probably in his car. "I can't just steal his passport," protests PoorMan'sCateBlanchett, looking out of her window and checking out FarsiBoy doing his perfect son-in-law routine for the rest of the family. Burton explains that she doesn't have to. She can simply copy down the names of all the countries he's visited in the last six months. Cate runs out of the front door, and despite the fact that she's creeping around like she just murdered someone and ate the body, none of the caterers or movers who she encounters on the way to FarsiBoy's car seem to think that anything is amiss. Skinny blondes get away with everything. Don't get me started. After a frantic search of the Farsimobile, Cate finally digs up FarsiBoy's passport, rips a blank note page out of his Daytimer, and copies down the destinations and dates from inside. Write, Lola, write! Meanwhile, the music that's playing during this scene reminds me of a slightly edgier version of the wacky instrumental playing in the movie 9 to 5 when Lily Tomlin, Dolly Parton, and Jane Fonda are trying to steal their boss's corpse from the hospital despite a hilarious assortment of problematic encounters. Cate is just putting back the passport when FarsiBoy happens upon her. She explains her presence in his car by claiming that she needed to re-park his car to make room for the catering vans. "Well, why didn't you call me," asks FarsiBoy. Cate laughs nervously and explains that she didn't want to bother him. FarsiBoy assures her that he'll re-park the Farsimobile himself, so he gets into the driver's seat -- giving us, incidentally, a nice view of his butt.
Meanwhile, back at Rough Trade Auto Shop, Kiefer is bent over…the open hood of his car, that is. He pretends to poke around the engine in order to determine why it won't start. Krispin comes up behind him and asks him why he's still around. Kiefer tells him to mind his own business, then walks over to Eddie and tells him that the bomb that Krispin was working on isn't going to work. "The fuses are too tight and your man's a joke," says Kiefer. Krispin reacts explosively -- see what I just did there? -- to Kiefer's critique of his bomb-making skills and attacks him from behind. Although he's caught unprepared, Kiefer's martial arts skills easily match for Krispin's street-fighting moves. Kiefer takes Krispin down using his trademark Sutherland lovemaking skills. The cracking of bones can clearly be heard as Kiefer twists Krispin's leg. Krispin moans in pain…or is it pleasure? The junkyard gang approaches to see what all the ruckus is about. Kiefer goes back to "fixing" the Kiefmobile. "He broke my damn ankle!" gasps Krispin. "You shouldn't have been playing with adults," says Kiefer. The time is 09:46:27 AM.
The time is 09:50:52 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer works on his car some more, Palmer does more office stuff, and Mason drives the Xandermobile to the outside of the blast radius. Spawn finds a pay phone. She calls 911, but the operator puts her on hold. Here's Daddy! "Who are you calling?" asks DaddyStopTouchingMe, grabbing her. "The police? Because they're already looking for you for kidnapping my daughter!" Spawn does the Fuddrucker-struggle in order to get out of his clutches and then, once free, runs…to the other side of the pay phone. She's, like, a whole two feet from him. He'll never catch her now…unless he leans over and extends his arms in her direction! DaddyStopTouchingMe calms down and tries to talk it out with Spawn. He commends Spawn for taking off with JonBenet. "I would have done the same thing." He claims not to be a bad person; he's just a guy under a lot of pressure at work who did something stupid. He begs Spawn to let him apologize to his daughter and assure her that she has nothing to be frightened of. Spawn is sympathetic, but insists that Crazy Laura has to say it's okay before she hands over JonBenet. DaddyStopTouchingMe flips out at Spawn's insubordination and tries to beat her up. Spawn escapes from his clutches again but she actually runs this time. thing you know, she's running through that very same maze of alleyways where she and PMMS were running away from the evil frat boys last season. Again, I have to ask, is this an inside joke or are they just too lazy to build new sets? DaddyStopTouchingMe catches up to Spawn and takes her down. Spawn gets hold of a tire iron and whacks DaddyStopTouchingMe with all of her might. He goes down. Whoa, Spawn! I didn't know you had it in you!
Back at Chez Crew, Cate reads her notes over the phone to Burton. Apparently, the last trip he took was to Frankfurt. Wasn't that where Nina was headed at the end of last season? Hmmmm. Burton promises to get back to her as soon as he's found out if FarsiBoy and Syed Ali were ever in the same city during these past six months. PoorMan'sReneeZellweger enters the room, so Cate has to hang up. Renee just came in because she just realized that she forgot to thank Cate for all of her help with the wedding and for being her big sister. They share a sisterly hug that makes Cate feel like a total turd for spying on FarsiBoy.
NSA. Palmer meets with PressToad in some sumptuously appointed sitting room with a fireplace and two Wassily chairs designed by Marcel Breuer that are available in two colors -- black and rust -- at DWR for $650 each. Palmer chose rust. I'd prefer black myself, but rust suits this room better, so I really can't complain. They sit facing each other on a pair of Le Corbusier sofas and get down to business. Palmer asks PressToad what his story is about. PressToad tells Palmer that his sources say the alert condition has been elevated and the White House is keeping it a secret. Palmer asks him who his sources are. PressToad refuses to divulge them, so Palmer tries to convince him that there's nothing to his story. PressToad is skeptical, due to the fact that Palmer has never granted him a private interview before today. "My twenty-two years in the business tells me I'm not barking up the wrong tree," says PressToad. Palmer tries to buy PressToad's silence by offering him a thirty-minute jump on tomorrow's briefing. This only makes PressToad more sure he's onto something. Palmer warns PressToad that news of a threat could cause mass hysteria, and that could be worse than the threat itself. PressToad gives a lukewarm promise to "consider" sitting on his story. They shake hands. Palmer picks up a cell phone and calls Armus, who turns out to be a Secret Service guy who looks like Sam Elliott in The Contender. "It looks like we're going to have to go through with this," says Palmer. As PressToad exits the lodge, Armus and two other Secret Service men stop him. "There's something the president wants you to see before you leave," says Armus. They escort him somewhere as Palmer watches from his window. D'oh!
Back at Rough Trade Auto Body, Eddie approaches Kiefer and offers him a job for the day. Now that Krispin has a broken ankle, they're short a man. Kiefer wants $1,000. Eddie doesn't think he should be paid, considering what he did to Krispin. He offers to keep Kiefer's assault on Krispin a secret from Joe Wald as compensation. Kiefer accepts, on the condition that he meet with Joe. "What's the job?" asks Kiefer. "You're going to like it," says Eddie.
Meanwhile, back at the Po Ho dumpster, Spawn breathlessly approaches the place where she stashed JonBenet. She shoves all of the cardboard boxes aside, but JonBenet is nowhere to be found. Like we didn't see that coming. Spawn panics and throws boxes everywhere. The screen splits to reveal Palmer deep in thought, PressToad alone in a locked room under surveillance, and lastly, the blonde sisters having an International Foods Coffee moment while looking at a photo album.
The junkyard gang plus their newest member, Kiefer, is right on schedule in their van headed for destinations unknown. Kiefer asks where they're going. Eddie explains that they're headed for West L.A. to blow up a government building. "Which building?" asks Kiefer. "They call it the L.A. Counter Terrorist Unit…the CTU," says Eddie. Kiefer remains in character and grins with anticipation. Then he puts his sunglasses back on. The time is 09:59:58…09:59:59…10:00:00 AM.