By Gustave
Previouslys. Dr. Anne's husband is being brought in as a topic in tonight's debate between Palmer and Keeler. Apparently, Dr. Anne committed fraud in order to help her ex start a shady drug company. Brother Palmer wants to bribe the ex-husband to keep quiet. Spawn and Special Agent Charlie Brown are having relationship problems, because Kiefer has sidelined Charlie in order to break them up. Poor Man's Jennie Garth meets Kyle at "the mall" in order to give him money. Gomez is following Kyle in order to contain the V-I-R-U-S. Meanwhile, CTU has only three hours to find Kyle before he's contagious. Soul Patch catches up with Kyle at "the mall" and tries to talk him into surrendering to CTU. Gomez shoots Soul Patch. Kyle Singer is not in custody. I repeat, Kyle Singer is not in custody.
We begin this episode at "the mall" amidst a sea of activity. Soul Patch is strapped into a gurney that's being wheeled into an ambulance. Serious music is playing to underline the gravity of the situation. Meanwhile, in a split screen at CTU, Spawn and Adam the Woman Hater are freaking out because neither Kiefer nor Soul Patch are picking up their phones. "What's going on?" asks Bitchelle, entering. Spawn explains there's been "gunshots at 'the mall,'" and that neither Kiefer nor Soul Patch is answering their phones. Meanwhile, Adam the Woman Hater is on the phone with another agent at "the mall," who reports that an agent is down and no one knows yet if it's Soul Patch or Kiefer. While everyone in the office waits to hear which agent got shot, Bitchelle tries to keep it together as she frets about her husband. Spawn, who could be losing a father for all she knows, looks about as worried as a patron at a diner who finds out she can't have an extra side of coleslaw with her chicken wings. "It's Kiefer!" says Adam the Woman Hater, handing Spawn the phone. Spawn is about to lose it, but all of a sudden it becomes clear that it's Kiefer who is on the phone and not the agent who is down. Through process of elimination, Bitchelle realizes that it is indeed her husband who is "down." Bitchelle grabs the phone from Spawn and demands to know what happened to Soul Patch. Kiefer tells Bitchelle that Soul Patch got shot in the neck and he's being taken to the hospital. "Bitchelle, I know how difficult this must be for you right now," says Kiefer with velvety urgency. "But you need to make a decision." Kiefer explains that if Bitchelle, the acting head of CTU, wants to go visit Soul Patch in the hospital, she is going to have to hand CTU over to someone else. "But if you stay," he continues, "we need you to work at full capacity." "I understand," says Bitchelle, professionally. She hangs up the phone and tries to pull herself together despite having what looks like an anxiety attack.
As Spawn tries to offer comfort to Bitchelle in her hour -- literally -- of need, Potato Face enters with some Whatever Technology complaint. Apparently, CTU is running out of computer memory or something. "Now is not a good time," says Spawn to Potato Face with a surprising amount of -- for her -- good taste and tact. Meanwhile Potato Face is all, "Are you out of your mind?!" Bitchelle gives Potato Face a quick Whatever Technology remedy to Potato Face's Whatever Technology problem, and this gets her out of the room. While Bitchelle makes her way out the door in order to go visit Soul Patch in the hospital, Adam presents another set of issues. A second call from Hartmano's family came in, and Bitchelle is needed in the conference room. "I am not in a position to deal with this right now," says Bitchelle. Adam the Woman Hater points out that she is the ranking agent on site, and therefore she has to deal with it. Bitchelle dispatches Spawn to call the hospital and find out everything she can about Soul Patch's condition. Spawn picks up the telephone receiver and marvels at all those pretty buttons she has to press as part of her grown-up job where she has to wear a suit and everything. Meanwhile, in the conference room, some CTU agent-extras are listening to the new recording, which gives more explicit instructions on how to release and deliver Hartmano. Bitchelle enters, listens to the tail end of it, and asks if the "encoding scheme" matches the first message. Adam the Woman Hater confirms that this is the case. He offers to "scan the frequency" to see if he can get lucky and find out more about where the message is coming from. "Whoever sent this message is controlling Kyle Singer's movements," says Bitchelle with newfound authority in her voice. "We have two hours to find him before they release the V-I-R-U-S."
By Gustave
Back at CTU, Bitchelle is briefing Palmer via videoconference on their plans to monitor everyone in the "quarantine zone." Palmer asks her to define the "quarantine zone," and Bitchelle replies that it's the two-mile radius around "the mall" where Kyle was last seen. Dr. Nicole is also in this meeting. She informs the President that medical teams are in place to screen everyone in the quarantine zone over the seventy-two hours. "If we move quickly," she says, "we believe we can lower the prior casualty estimate." "Lower it to what?" asks Palmer. Dr. Nicole admits that between sixty and ninety thousand people will still die despite their best efforts. Meanwhile, Brother Palmer, who is in the same room with Palmer during this meeting, gets a cell phone call. Palmer ends the meeting and thanks the ladies. The monitors go off, and Palmer addresses his staff. "We are about to set into motion a chain of events that will create panic around the country," he says. "If anyone here sees an option that I'm overlooking, now's the time to offer it up." The casually dressed group of multicultural extras that portray Palmer's "staff" have nothing to say. Brother Palmer interrupts the meeting to put Kiefer on the phone with Palmer. Palmer asks his staff to leave so he can talk privately with Kiefer. "Is this line secure?" asks Kiefer, getting into his Kiefmobile parked at "the mall." Palmer replies that it is…despite the fact that Brother Palmer is still in the room and listening. Kiefer offers up a solution to the day's crisis. He offers to break Hartmano out of prison by himself without the approval of Palmer, thus keeping L.A. V-I-R-U-S-free and insuring that Palmer's reputation will be spared the taint of having dealt with terrorists. "The public and, more importantly, other terrorist groups would view this as a prison break as opposed to a capitulation to their demands," continues Kiefer. "I have a history of insubordination with CTU, they would believe I switched sides to deliver him." "Even if you succeed," says Palmer, "I won't be able to correct your legal status." "I understand," says Kiefer, starting up the Kiefmobile and preparing to drive out of "the mall." "This will be my last assignment." Palmer doesn't know what to say. Kiefer tells him that if he says nothing, he'll consider it a "go" for the mission. Palmer says nothing. "Good luck, Mr. President," says Kiefer, putting his car into drive and speeding off. The time is 04:20:27 PM.
The time is 04:24:55 PM. Klockwise from the top left, close-ups of Brother Palmer, Hartmano, Kiefer, and Bitchelle in their respective environments. Back at USC, Dr. Anne is on her cell phone, arranging to get some information about the V-I-R-U-S from Dr. Nicole sent over to her office. After she hangs up, she spies Brother Palmer leaving the building. She stares hard at his briefcase and gets suspicious. 'Cause you just know how rare and strange it is to see someone on the president's staff carrying around a briefcase. Dr. Anne tries to stop him, but he claims he's got a meeting. "But the debate starts in thirty minutes," says Dr. Anne. "Who are you meeting?" Brother Palmer tries to claim he's merely attending to "government business," but Dr. Anne knows that this concerns her ex-husband. "Like I said," says Brother Palmer menacingly. "It's government business." He stomps off in a huff.
By Gustave
Back at CTU, Bitchelle is working at her desk. All of sudden she whips out her phone and calls the hospital to ask after Soul Patch. They inform her that he's still in surgery. "I just wanted to let Dr. Linzer know he's allergic to penicillin," says Bitchelle, on the verge of tears. "Yes, he's aware," says the nurse on the other end of the phone. "The allergy card was in his wallet." Bitchelle asks for more details about Soul Patch's condition, but no one knows anything yet. Potato Face enters, wanting to talk to Bitchelle about what happened earlier. "I just wanted you to know that I didn't know that Soul Patch had been shot in the neck when I was insensitive earlier," she says. "I certainly would have been more careful about my choice of words, okay?" "That's fine," says Bitchelle, wanting desperately to end the conversation. "I do try to be aware of other people," says Potato Face, refusing to take a hint. ["Or, more likely, parroting a complaint that has probably shown up repeatedly on her employee evaluations." -- Sars] "I said 'that's fine,'" says Bitchelle. Finally Potato Face leaves her office.
The camera follows her down a corridor, where she runs into Crystal Gael and starts to lecture him about how they have to be careful about what they say to Bitchelle. "She's really sensitive about Soul Patch being shot…in the NECK," says Potato Face. Oh yes, there's one of her in every office, isn't there? Mine was named Ruth. I get atopic dermatitis from time to time. What this means in layman's terms is that I get this nasty rash on my face which makes me look like that really obese guy on Average Joe. One day, I had an outbreak, and I've got the cortisone smeared on my face and I'm praying that it does its magic before I arrive at my office. All of a sudden I run into Ruth, who shrieks, in front of, like, twenty of my co-workers, "What happened to your face?!" So anyway, as Potato Face urges him to brief everyone in his department (Crystal Gael has a department?), his cell phone goes off. He's about to take the call when Potato Face asks him how he's allowed to have a personal cell phone at CTU. "I thought those were prohibited because they can't be monitored," she says. Crystal Gael explains his cell away by explaining that he moves around a lot and needs a consistent contact number for "interoffice" issues. Okay, you know that dog in Rear Window who totally digs up the dead wives' bones and gets killed in the middle of the movie? Potato Face is, like, the human version of that dog. She's going to die soon. Mark my words. She walks away, not entirely satisfied. Crystal Gael finally answers his cell. It's Hector, wanting to know if they're going to let Felipe Hartmano go or not. Crystal Gael tells Hector that everyone is still deciding what to do. "You have less than two hours!" shouts Hector. Crystal Gael promises to let him know as soon as he knows anything.
Back at El Hacienda del Substantivos Controlaros, Hector slams down the phone in frustration. His eyes wander over to a side table, where he notices that something is amiss with a wooden and glass box that sits atop it. He opens the box to find that his gun is there, but lying in a strange position. He whips another gun out of his back pocket and heads for the door. Inside a bathroom he finds the culprit. It's PoorMan'sAngelinaJolie's eight-year-old brother. Okay, I don't know how old he is. Whenever I see a kid who can walk but hasn't entered puberty yet, I just guess and say that he's eight. My little sister was "eight years old" for, like, ten years. He pulls the little one out from behind the door. "It's not good to touch what's not yours," says Hector. He asks Hermanito if Angelina knows he's here. Hermanito replies that she doesn't. Hector shows the boy that the gun was loaded. The haunting cello in the background indicates that something creepy is about to happen. "It's a nice gun, isn't it?" says Hector. Hermanito nods reluctantly. "Take it," says Hector, handing it to him. "It's okay." Hector asks him if he likes the way "eet feels." Hermanito nods again. Hector asks him if he wants to pull "dee treeger" and "heer de noise eet makes." Again, Hermanito nods, but this time in a more knowing way. "That's what power feels like," whispers Hector. He leads Hermanito over to a landing and shows him a vase down below. He puts the gun in his hand and teaches him to "squeeze de treeger very slowly." Hermanito aims, shoots, and successfully hits the vase. And for some reason the kickback doesn't cause him to hit himself in the face. The two of them rejoice over Hermanito's first bull's-eye just as Angelina enters. "What are you doing?" she asks, grabbing Hermanito, grabbing the gun, pushing him out the door, and demanding an explanation from Hector. "The boy needs to become a man," argues Hector. "You're not his father," says Angelina, training the gun on him. Hector is a little frightened at first, but his wits come back to him and he dares Angelina to pull the "treeger." Angelina keeps aiming the gun at him as she looks back into the face of Hermanito, who is eavesdropping outside the room. Finally she loses her nerve, slams the gun down on the couch, and leaves the room. Hector smirks.
By Gustave
The time is 04:30:33 PM. Gomez and his Piquante Partner are leading the Quaran-teens into this really industrial-looking high-ceilinged loft space. In the middle of the room is this steel, cement, and glass structure that looks like a really large front-loading washing machine. Some posters from the forums nicknamed it the "Terror-arium," because it really looks like a colossal-sized tank where you'd keep your a pet lizard…if your pet lizard weighed, like, 900 pounds, that is. Gomez and his Piquante Partner shove the Quaran-teens inside the Terror-arium. Once they are locked in, Gomez and PP take their shirts off as a man in a Haz-Mat suit picks up an industrial-sized hose and hoses them down. The Quaran-teens watch from inside the Terror-arium in horror. Frankly, I don't know what they're so scared of, since apparently all you need to do to survive this disease is to take a really long shower. And how many other infectious diseases can you say that about?
Back at USC, Dr. Anne drops by Palmer's office to say hi and to see what he's decided about her ex-husband. She tells him about running into Brother Palmer in the hall and their eerie confrontation. "I had a feeling that I wasn't able to shake," she says. "What kind of feeling?" asks Palmer. "That you're paying Ted to keep quiet," says Dr. Anne. Palmer doesn't answer her, basically confirming her suspicions. "Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reason," he says in his own defense. "How can you reward someone for threatening you with a lie?" asks Dr. Anne. "It's wrong." Palmer tries to explain to her that there are just political realities that come with his job, and that there are "no absolutes." Dr. Anne urges him to "draw the line" morally. "I have drawn the line," replies Palmer. "We're just standing on different sides." Dr. Anne reminds Palmer that he's never been the sort of leader who takes the easy way out like this. "That's who the people elected to lead them," says Dr. Anne. "And for what it's worth, that's who I fell in love with." Palmer explains that he was trying to protect her. "I'm used to public scrutiny," says Dr. Anne. "Not like this," warns Palmer. "This will be different and much uglier than you can imagine." Dr. Anne assures Palmer that she can defend herself, and exits the room.
Meanwhile, in a parking garage, Brother Palmer sits in his Bromobile, waiting for Dr. Anne's ex-husband. A Mercedes pulls up to the Bromobile just as Brother Palmer's cell phone rings. It's Palmer. "Walk away," says Palmer. "I've changed my mind." "Dr. Anne talked to you, didn't she?" asks Brother Palmer. Palmer repeats his order. Brother Palmer backs up and drives out of the parking garage without saying a word Dr. Anne's ex-husband -- a twitchy Aryan type in a business suit -- who is totally confused. The scene ends before anything bad happens to either of them, despite the fact that they are both in a parking garage and therefore flirting with disaster. The time is 04:35:03 PM.
By Gustave
The time is 04:39:30 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Adam the Woman Hater and Potato Face are hanging out in a conference room, the Quaran-teens are still biding their time in the Terror-arium, and Kiefer drives the Kiefmobile toward the prison. Meanwhile, at CTU, Bitchelle enters a conference room where Adam, the Woman Hater, Potato Face, and Crystal Gael are waiting for her. "You wanted to see me?" says Bitchelle. Crystal Gael announces that they've all agreed to "cover" for Bitchelle if she wants to go to the hospital to visit Soul Patch. "Cover for me?" asks Bitchelle. "You have a lot on your mind right now," explains Crystal Gael. Then they all have this Whatever Technology conversation about twelve-hour delays and extra staffing that totally goes over my head. The end result is that Bitchelle doesn't feel she can be spared from her duties at CTU. "So let's get back to work," says Bitchelle. Everyone leaves the room except Crystal Gael and Bitchelle. Crystal Gael pulls her aside. "I agree," he says. "We can't run this place by committee. Let me step in for you." He goes on to delineate how everything will work under his command. "When I was at Langley I filled in for my bureau chief a couple of times and we got through it," he explains. "Was there a bio-threat and a president in town all in one day?" asks Bitchelle rhetorically. "Thank you anyway, Crystal Gael," says Bitchelle. He leaves the room. She rolls her eyes.
The time is 04:41:01 PM. Spawn's phone rings at CTU. It's Kiefer. "What are you doing right now?" he asks. Spawn replies that she's trying to trace that phone call from Hartmano's people. Kiefer asks her to forget about that momentarily and do something else for him. "I need you to move Felipe Hartmano," says Kiefer, instructing her to find the necessary documents filed under "Federal Transfer Authorization." Spawn, who doesn't blink when, say, stoners kidnap her, or survivalists invite her into their shacks for dinner and a shower, decides to question Kiefer, her own father, extensively about the nature of his request. "This has been given priority clearance," says Kiefer. "No one at CTU is supposed to know. That's why you're the only person I can trust to do this, so please help!" Spawn makes the necessary arrangements, and the request is submitted. "Look, Spawn," says Kiefer. "I know you tried to come up to my office earlier today and talk to me about something that was really important to you and I know I wasn't supportive…" Spawn cuts him off. "You don't have to do this, Dad," she says. Nevertheless, Kiefer apologizes for being "overprotective." Overprotective? This is someone who essentially got her own mother killed in his own workplace. I don't think "overprotective" is really the most appropriate term here. ["I'd go with 'refusing to authorize a long-overdue chlorination of the gene pool,' myself." -- Sars] He goes on to promise that he'll be supportive of anything she chooses to do, because he trusts her judgment. That's supposed to be a good thing? Okay, whatever. "Thanks," says Spawn. "That means a lot to me." They exchange "I love you"s, and Spawn forwards the document to the appropriate personnel over at the prison. , Kiefer wants to speak to Special Agent Charlie Brown. Spawn explains how Charlie went to interrogate Hartmano. They hang up. "Son of a bitch!" shouts Kiefer to himself.
By Gustave
Meanwhile, in the Peanutsmobile, Special Agent Charlie Brown's cell phone rings. It's Kiefer. He orders Special Agent Charlie Brown back to CTU to help Bitchelle find Kyle Singer. "I know you're angry about me and Kim, " says Charlie. "But I'm not going to let you stop me from doing my job." "Your job is to follow my orders," shrieks Kiefer. "You're in no condition to give me orders," says Charlie, hanging up on Kiefer.
Then, in yet another violation of the "real time" format, we cut to Special Agent Charlie Brown inside the prison, asking the warden to give him access to Felipe Hartmano. The Warden points out that Hartmano has committed two murders that day, and therefore he's reluctant to let anyone in to see him. Two murders? Already? Jeez. Well, now that I think about it…Charlie finally convinces the warden to let him in by reminding him that hundreds of thousands of lives are at stake. Finally, the warden agrees to escort him to Hartmano's isolation cell. All of a sudden, in another violation of the "real time" format, the two men are just outside of Hartmano's cell. Charlie asks that the three surveillance cameras be turned off. The warden complies. "You've got thirty minutes," says the warden, letting Charlie Brown in. All of sudden, Charlie is face-to-face with Felipe Hartmano. "You are a tough guy, huh?" asks Felipe. Charlie Brown proceeds to beat the crap out of Hartmano. The time is 04:46:25 PM.
The time is 04:50:49 PM. Klockwise from the top left, close-up of Palmer, close-up of Bitchelle, and a wide shot of CTU…I think. Back at the prison, Hartmano's head is slamming into the wall of his cell. "Where's Kyle Singer?" asks Charlie Brown. "I don't know," says Hartmano. "Well, you're going to tell me who does," says Charlie, slamming him into the wall again. All of a sudden, Kiefer enters. "What are you doing here, Kiefer?" asks Charlie. Kiefer explains that they've run out of options. Charlie thinks Kiefer is there to help him break Hartmano, and apologizes for what he said before about him being a junkie and all. "Forget about it," says Kiefer. "Tell me about the security cameras." Charlie explains that they're blacked out. "Good," says Kiefer. "Now get him out of his cell." As Charlie goes to get Hartmano, Kiefer knocks Charlie out from behind. I'm sorry, but if I knew more about the martial arts, I'd know what he did to Charlie to render him unconscious. "Are you going to kill me now?" asks Hartmano, watching amusedly from inside his cell. "I'd love to, but I can't," says Kiefer. He promises that Hartmano will be safe with his brother if he cooperates with Kiefer. "Now turn and face the wall," says Kiefer, putting what appears to be duct tape in his mouth.
By Gustave
Back at USC, Brother Palmer approaches Dr. Anne as she sits in the auditorium, watching the stage for that night's debate and working on a laptop. "How are you going to feel when David loses this election because of you?" he asks. "I don't think that's very likely," says Dr. Anne, cool as a cucumber. They proceed to bicker for a few minutes about Palmer's decision not to pay off Dr. Anne's ex-husband and how it will cost Palmer the election. "You can't stand the fact that your brother wants me in his life," says Dr. Anne. "Because you're a distraction, Anne. And a liability," says Brother Palmer. "Compared to whom?" asks Dr. Anne. "Sherry?" Brother Palmer explains that while Sherry went crazy, at least she understood the game. "You don't know anything about him or what it takes to survive in he world he lives in." Hey, if Brother Palmer is this psycho and overprotective, why haven't we seen, or at least heard, of him in the last two seasons? "We disagree, Wayne," says Dr. Anne. "We always have." Brother Palmer vows not to stand by and let Dr. Anne "jeopardize everything [Palmer] has worked for." "I don't scare easily," says Dr. Anne.
Back at the prison, Special Agent Charlie Brown is bound and gagged and lying in Hartmano's cell as Kiefer is leading Hartmano out of the prison. Does Hartmano taunt Kiefer about setting him free despite his efforts to put him in jail in the first place, and about the fact that he's a junkie? Of course. "Do you want to get out of here?" asks Kiefer. "Then keep your mouth shut and do as I say." Just when they reach the checkpoint -- or wherever it is you need to pass in order to release a prisoner -- the prison guard stops them and announces that the warden wants to see them first. Kiefer agrees to wait. Meanwhile, Special Agent Charlie Brown has regained consciousness. He rubs his bound wrists up against the edge of the cell's sink in an effort to free himself. The warden approaches Kiefer and informs him that the wrong code has been entered into that transfer request that Spawn submitted. Kiefer promises to get him the proper codes retroactively, and claims that he can't afford to lose any time over some "small technical detail." "Where's Charlie Brown?" asks the warden. Kiefer says that Charlie is searching Hartmano's cell for more information, and will help the warden with the paperwork after Kiefer leaves with Hartmano. The warden lets them go. "Thanks, I owe you one," says Kiefer. The gate is opened.
Meanwhile, Charlie Brown is still furiously struggling to free his wrists. The warden asks a prison worker to turn the surveillance cameras back on. When he does, the warden is alarmed to find that the cameras have been turned at the wrong angle. He rushes back to Hartmano's cell to see if there's a problem. Kiefer and Hartmano pass through yet another gate. They're just about the clear the final checkpoint -- the place where Kiefer turned in his gun and his badge -- when the warden finds Charlie Brown tied up in Hartmano's cell. "Whatever Bauer told you," shrieks Charlie Brown, "he's lying!" Kiefer gets his gun and badge back just as an alarm sounds. Kiefer knocks out a guard or two and drags Hartmano to the surveillance room. He pulls a gun on the officer on duty as prison guards all over the prison arm themselves for an emergency. "Open the cell blocks now!" says Kiefer. The guard on duty can't do it from there. "Do it now," shouts Kiefer with all of the Sutherland Velvet he can muster. The guard pulls out a key from his chain and types the command. All over the prison, the cells open and the prisoners walk out of their cells. Chaos ensues as prison guards start getting beaten up by the very prisoners they once had under their thumbs. The screen splits into fourths. Techies prepare for the debate, the Quaran-teens await their fate in the Terror-arium, Bitchelle freaks out at her desk, and the warden and Special Agent Charlie Brown arm themselves for the ensuing prison riot. As shirtless prisoners run down the corridors, Kiefer hides with Hartmano behind a cell block door. The time is 04:59:58…04:59:59…05:00:00 PM.