Episode Report Card Kim: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sarah Smiles
By Kim | Season 11 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.27.2010
We cut right to Michael Bolton and Chelsie rehearsing their jive. They're dancing to "Hound Dog" and Chelsie has big plans to have him crawl out of a doghouse. So she knows he's a horrible dancer, because there's no other reason for that bullshit. Michael has a hard time learning the routine, and he kind of blames Chelsie that he sucks. She finally seems to get it through his head that he needs to rehearse more, and that's the only way to get better.
She really does start the jive with him crawling out of the doghouse. At least it didn't take up too much time. He's really pigeon-toed too. Is every dude this season pigeon-toed? Oof. He's no good. He's kind of just wandering around the dance floor. I can see parts where he's probably supposed to be doing footwork, but either he forgot it or he never learned it. He has good posture. I'm trying to find something nice to say. Judges? Len tries to be diplomatic and says that this dance didn't suit Michael. Bruno thinks Michael should have gone back into the doghouse, and it was the worst jive in eleven seasons. Len yells at Bruno and says that he's being unfair, because there was a lot of content, and Bruno retorts that it was poorly done. Carrie Ann respects that Michael tried to do it, but she thinks his body locks up when he's nervous or stressed, and you can't dance that way. That was a nice way to put it. Scores: Carrie Ann 4, Len 5, and Bruno 3. OUCH. I don't think I've ever seen scores that low, except maybe for Master P. They gave Kate Gosselin higher scores than that. All I can think is that Michael Bolton is being a dick backstage (which has been rumored) and they want to get rid of him.
Audrina claims that she's sacrificing everything for this show. Yes, the people in Haiti really feel sorry for you. Poor baby. Then she whines that she barely sees her family and her boyfriend. WAAAAAAAHHH! It's so horrible that they kidnapped you at gunpoint and forced you to be on this television show. So they are dancing the Quickstep. And you know what? It's really good. Audrina is a natural dancer. She needs to stay focused, and she needs to remember to point her toes, but overall it was really good.
Bruno thought it was excellent and light-footed, but she lost her posture at times. Carrie Ann thought it was a huge improvement from last week, which was pretty good. Len thought it was the best dance so far tonight. Well, that's not a huge accomplishment since the dances so far have been middling to poor. Brooke pulls out a clip from rehearsals where Tony said that if the routine didn't get three 8s, he would wax his legs. So scores? Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 7. The other people in the room are dying laughing. I think Brooke didn't understand the point, because she thinks it means Tony DOESN'T have to wax his legs. She's terrible. How could you misunderstand that? Anyway, Tony claims that he really is going to wax his legs. Should be fun.