Episode Report Card Cate: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Smoking
By Cate | Season 7 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.02.2003
Ruthie is walking out of Flick's with her little apple-stealing friend Peter. They're discussing the fine film they've just viewed, which seems to be about an animated "gassy cockroach who smokes and drinks." What the hell kind of fucked-up movie is that? Especially if it's rated tame enough for Ruthie to see it. Like that sort of animated film would ever get made in today's social climate. Well, maybe I'm giving the general public too much credit for common sense. After all, this crappy show masquerades as a "family values" vehicle and rarely gets called on that claim by critics. I guess I've never realized that Ruthie is quite so priggish, but right now she's up on her soapbox, sanctimoniously lecturing Peter about the movie: "Lots of kids watch that stuff, and they think that whatever the cockroach does is okay. Not every kid is as smart as you and me." When Peter stands there looking…well, quite stupid, frankly, Ruthie adds, "You do think that smoking and drinking is stupid, right?" Oh, come on! Is this for real? Does Brenda actually think children talk like this? After ensuring that her companion's thoughts do not differ in any way from hers, Ruthie smiles smugly and rewards him with the offer of a burger. It's strange how much she reminds me of the T-1000 here.
Speaking of the loathsome cyborg, he's up in his hideous garage apartment, which is looking just as uninhabitable as ever. I don't even think it has any running water either. I guess that wouldn't matter to a robot, though. In walks brother Ben. If you were thinking he'd receive real a "family values" kind of welcome, with Kevin warmly hugging him and offering some kind words, you're way off base. Stuff like that only happens in the households of family-values-less jerks like you or me. In Brenda's world, Kevin starts right in on the prying, and it's done in a pretty nasty tone. We find out that Ben has a new girlfriend. Yawn. Mary is insulted a bit. That would have made me smile a lot more before I realized just how much Brenda actually hates women. Kevin seems to think all of Ben's girlfriends suck -- and not in the good way. Or maybe they do, and that's why they should be considered evil. Ben defends his current one, Betty. He thinks she's perfect because she's "beautiful." Right on, dumb-ass. Way to judge people.
Eric is talking to that Lou guy down at the church. Actually, he's gossiping about Chandler and trying to find out why Sid is in town. Before he can get too far into it, though, RevBong walks in and interrupts. It must be totally fun to bust people when you catch them talking about you like that. Chandler says he knew RevCam would not be able to keep from snooping into his business. He snidely offers to fill him in on all the Bong family news. Sid is in town because he's trying to effect a reconciliation between Chandler and his father, who is dying of smoking-related lung cancer. Furthermore, Sid is a recovering alcoholic and drug user. Hey, don't forget the smoking -- the evil, evil smoking. Eric says that Chandler can talk to him about his family any time. He wants to help, he says. I really can't blame RevBong for looking less than thrilled at the prospect, as he incredulously asks, "Help me? You don't even like me." Hey, don't be too hard on the Revster. After all, he's not the only one who doesn't like you!