Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Poison
By M. Giant | Season 7 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.23.2009
At 10:54:02, Kiefer calls Moss on his cell phone. Apparently it took nearly five minutes to get clear of the magical jamming field. Moss is in the shotgun seat of a traveling FBI car as he demands, "Jack, where the hell have you been?" Kiefer tells Moss to send as many teams as he can to a weigh station on Exit 29 of Highway 236. "I'm in a big rig about ten miles south... you also need to send a CDC recovery unit." Moss is naturally curious as to why Kiefer wants a crew from the Centers for Disease Control. Is it the kicky white suits? "I'm in possession of a biological weapon, interdicted at the Port of Alexandria," Kiefer explains. Moss is like, what the fuck? Twenty minutes ago he was wondering how Kiefer would have gotten his hands on a machine gun, and now dude's driving around with a WMD. It's like a long-delayed sequel to Falling Down. Kiefer tells Moss to listen to him, which sounds odd coming from him this late in the conversation. "I don't care if you arrest me, I don't care if you shoot me, just get your teams out here. I fully expect to be pursued by hostiles." "Starkwood?" Moss asks. Kiefer's glad he doesn't have to explain it all (and frankly, so am I), and he adds that Tony's probably being held hostage. Moss promises to secure both locations. "Larry, hurry," Kiefer urges.
Just then, in his rearview mirror, he notices that the highly convenient LED display on the front end of the container is blinking. Kiefer stops the truck and gets out. He doesn't know what the blinking and beeping means, but that tear in the skin of the container can't be good news. At 10:55:20, he points a handy flashlight inside and sees a gas cylinder, broken off below the nozzle and venting its contents into the trailer. Kiefer's eyes bug out and he gasps as he recoils. Probably shouldn't have gasped. He turns to look from the abandoned stretch of highway where he's parked, to the busy city streets that look literally just blocks ahead of him, and decides he needs to handle this himself. Going around to the back, he takes a deep breath, holds it, opens the back of the trailer, and climbs inside, with the flashlight between his teeth. He makes his way to the front of the trailer, where the offending cylinder is. Fortunately it has a shut-off valve, which Kiefer closes. Well, that was easy. He exits the trailer and lets out his breath, coughing mightily. I don't know what he's worried about; if the Sentox nerve gas didn't get him a couple of years ago, nothing will.