Episode Report Card Gustave: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Cordilla Virus: Catch it!
By Gustave | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 11.17.2003
Back at CTU, Bitchelle is working at her desk. All of sudden she whips out her phone and calls the hospital to ask after Soul Patch. They inform her that he's still in surgery. "I just wanted to let Dr. Linzer know he's allergic to penicillin," says Bitchelle, on the verge of tears. "Yes, he's aware," says the nurse on the other end of the phone. "The allergy card was in his wallet." Bitchelle asks for more details about Soul Patch's condition, but no one knows anything yet. Potato Face enters, wanting to talk to Bitchelle about what happened earlier. "I just wanted you to know that I didn't know that Soul Patch had been shot in the neck when I was insensitive earlier," she says. "I certainly would have been more careful about my choice of words, okay?" "That's fine," says Bitchelle, wanting desperately to end the conversation. "I do try to be aware of other people," says Potato Face, refusing to take a hint. ["Or, more likely, parroting a complaint that has probably shown up repeatedly on her employee evaluations." -- Sars] "I said 'that's fine,'" says Bitchelle. Finally Potato Face leaves her office.
The camera follows her down a corridor, where she runs into Crystal Gael and starts to lecture him about how they have to be careful about what they say to Bitchelle. "She's really sensitive about Soul Patch being shot…in the NECK," says Potato Face. Oh yes, there's one of her in every office, isn't there? Mine was named Ruth. I get atopic dermatitis from time to time. What this means in layman's terms is that I get this nasty rash on my face which makes me look like that really obese guy on Average Joe. One day, I had an outbreak, and I've got the cortisone smeared on my face and I'm praying that it does its magic before I arrive at my office. All of a sudden I run into Ruth, who shrieks, in front of, like, twenty of my co-workers, "What happened to your face?!" So anyway, as Potato Face urges him to brief everyone in his department (Crystal Gael has a department?), his cell phone goes off. He's about to take the call when Potato Face asks him how he's allowed to have a personal cell phone at CTU. "I thought those were prohibited because they can't be monitored," she says. Crystal Gael explains his cell away by explaining that he moves around a lot and needs a consistent contact number for "interoffice" issues. Okay, you know that dog in Rear Window who totally digs up the dead wives' bones and gets killed in the middle of the movie? Potato Face is, like, the human version of that dog. She's going to die soon. Mark my words. She walks away, not entirely satisfied. Crystal Gael finally answers his cell. It's Hector, wanting to know if they're going to let Felipe Hartmano go or not. Crystal Gael tells Hector that everyone is still deciding what to do. "You have less than two hours!" shouts Hector. Crystal Gael promises to let him know as soon as he knows anything.
Back at El Hacienda del Substantivos Controlaros, Hector slams down the phone in frustration. His eyes wander over to a side table, where he notices that something is amiss with a wooden and glass box that sits atop it. He opens the box to find that his gun is there, but lying in a strange position. He whips another gun out of his back pocket and heads for the door. Inside a bathroom he finds the culprit. It's PoorMan'sAngelinaJolie's eight-year-old brother. Okay, I don't know how old he is. Whenever I see a kid who can walk but hasn't entered puberty yet, I just guess and say that he's eight. My little sister was "eight years old" for, like, ten years. He pulls the little one out from behind the door. "It's not good to touch what's not yours," says Hector. He asks Hermanito if Angelina knows he's here. Hermanito replies that she doesn't. Hector shows the boy that the gun was loaded. The haunting cello in the background indicates that something creepy is about to happen. "It's a nice gun, isn't it?" says Hector. Hermanito nods reluctantly. "Take it," says Hector, handing it to him. "It's okay." Hector asks him if he likes the way "eet feels." Hermanito nods again. Hector asks him if he wants to pull "dee treeger" and "heer de noise eet makes." Again, Hermanito nods, but this time in a more knowing way. "That's what power feels like," whispers Hector. He leads Hermanito over to a landing and shows him a vase down below. He puts the gun in his hand and teaches him to "squeeze de treeger very slowly." Hermanito aims, shoots, and successfully hits the vase. And for some reason the kickback doesn't cause him to hit himself in the face. The two of them rejoice over Hermanito's first bull's-eye just as Angelina enters. "What are you doing?" she asks, grabbing Hermanito, grabbing the gun, pushing him out the door, and demanding an explanation from Hector. "The boy needs to become a man," argues Hector. "You're not his father," says Angelina, training the gun on him. Hector is a little frightened at first, but his wits come back to him and he dares Angelina to pull the "treeger." Angelina keeps aiming the gun at him as she looks back into the face of Hermanito, who is eavesdropping outside the room. Finally she loses her nerve, slams the gun down on the couch, and leaves the room. Hector smirks.