|
2-24 2006.05.23 |
Ballbuster House is shot and wakes up in the ICU with a healed leg and an increasingly loose grasp on reality, taking the audience with him. By the end, no one knows what, if anything, in this episode is real. We really hope, for House's sake, that the Patient of the Week's exploding body parts are not. |
| 2-24 Recap |
Ballbuster
No Reason - House is shot and wakes up in the ICU with a healed leg and an increasingly loose grasp on reality, taking the audience with him. By the end, no one knows what, if anything, in this episode is real. We really hope, for House's sake, that the Patient of the Week's exploding body parts are not. |
2006.05.23 2006.05.29 |
A- |
Sara M |
| 2-23 Recap |
Hurricrap Katrina
Who's Your Daddy? - House cashes in on real tragedy with a Patient of the Week who lost everything in the disaster, earning her House's undying hatred and distrust. He does such a good job of treating her that she craps out of her mouth and her lungs turn into Swiss cheese. |
2006.05.16 2006.05.22 |
D |
Sara M |
| 2-22 Recap |
Take Your Vitamins
Forever - Not only will they make you big and strong, but they'll also prevent you from going insane and trying to murder your own baby. Chase can't afford vitamins, though, because Daddy wrote him out of the will and now he's so poor he has to work in NICU. And Foreman is back from the brink of death with a happy new life-loving attitude that pisses everyone off. |
2006.05.09 2006.05.15 |
B+ |
Sara M |
| 2-21 Recap |
Black Matter, White Matter
Euphoria, Part II - Foreman is on the fast track to death unless House can figure out what's wrong with him. Myriad things are tried, but none of them work, leaving the physicians with only one choice: a white matter brain biopsy that may well leave Foreman worse off than the disease. House doesn't want to do it, but it's not his choice: it's Cameron's. |
2006.05.03 2006.05.08 |
A |
Sara M |
| 2-20 Recap |
Staff Infection
Euphoria, Part I - We all knew it had to happen sooner or later, and it was sooner: one of House's staff catches a disease from a Patient of the Week. Foreman's the unlucky one, but he isn't the unluckiest one. That honor would go to the Patient of the Week, who dies before House and the team can find a cure. |
2006.05.02 2006.05.06 |
B |
Sara M |
| 2-19 Recap |
House Vs. God
House Vs. God - We can't improve on that episode title, which is obviously the best of all time. House's latest patient is a teenaged faith healer, who manages to "heal" one of Wilson's terminal cases. House would rather figure out how this happened and let the woman know that her cancer is still as bad as it ever was than believe that God is a better doctor than he is. |
2006.04.25 2006.05.01 |
B+ |
Sara M |
| 2-18 Recap |
The Sandman Cometh
Sleeping Dogs Lie - But not to Hannah, who's been awake for ten days and will die if she doesn't sleep by the eleventh. Fortunately, Cameron is around to send us all into dreamland with her moral outrage over everything. |
2006.04.18 2006.04.24 |
A |
Sara M |
| 2-17 Recap |
Moby Sick
All In - When a boy has the same symptoms as a patient of House's who died before he could diagnose her twelve years ago, he goes into obsessed Captain Ahab mode and will stop at nothing to track down his White Whale disease during a Black Tie event. |
2006.04.11 2006.04.17 |
A- |
Sara M |
| 2-16 Recap |
Sex Kills, Again
Safe - For the fiftieth time on this show, someone has sex and almost dies. This time, it's a girl with ridiculously dangerous allergies and an "overprotective" mother who doesn't seem to do all that much to deserve her reputation. House and Wilson live together and engage in a prank war, although it's really just House pulling the pranks and they all backfire on him anyway, leaving his dishes undone and his couch filled with pee. |
2006.04.04 2006.04.10 |
B |
Sara M |
| 2-15 Recap |
AU, Stop Poisoning Me With Gold
Clueless - Having hit many obstacles in this week's medical caper, House suggests looking deep inside a woman to see if she's poisoning her husband to death. And if that's the only way House can think of to score a little honey, he's officially been shacking up with a dude for too long. |
2006.03.28 2006.03.31 |
A- |
Djb |
| 2-14 Recap |
This Show Is Written By Puritans
Sex Kills - Everyone cheats on his or her spouse and pays for that sin with some bad-cheese-related heart failure, gonorrhea-related fatal car accidents, and, worst of all, having to move in with House. The only person who isn't having sex is a guy who really, really wants to have sex with his hot mom. |
2006.03.07 2006.03.13 |
B |
Sara M |
| 2-13 Recap |
Skin Is Deep, Balls Are Deeper
Skin Deep - House suffers from leg pain as he tries to treat a young female supermodel who's not very super or very female after all. |
2006.02.20 2006.02.26 |
A |
Sara M |
| 2-12 Recap |
ATV And LSD
Distractions - When he isn't getting revenge on a med-school classmate by giving himself the Worst Migraine Ever, doing LSD, and calling a hooker over to his apartment, House treats a kid with a brain disorder that gives him orgasms and fiery ATV crashes. |
2006.02.14 2006.02.20 |
B- |
Sara M |
| 2-11 Recap |
Need To Go
Need To Know - Stacy and House finally have sex, and then he dumps her for good. Hooray! The patient of the week would rather give herself all kinds of medical problems than tell her extremely stupid husband the truth. She gets cured, but doesn't learn her lesson. |
2006.02.07 2006.02.13 |
B |
Sara M |
| 2-10 Recap |
Failure To Scintillate
Failure To Communicate - A series of rather ridiculous plot contrivances bring us a reporter who's lost the ability to speak or write, House stranded at an airport with Stacy and her insatiable hunger for curry, the Cottages running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to figure out what's wrong with their patients and missing the most obvious of clues, and Wilson and Cuddy not having much to do at all. |
2006.01.10 2006.01.17 |
C+ |
Sara M |
| 2-9 Recap |
Decepticon
Deception - Patient Anica is more than meets the eye: her symptoms indicate Cushing's, but there's no cortisol-secreting tumor in sight. Cameron tries to transform into someone cool and smart, with good results, while Foreman tries to transform into an administrator, with bad results. Optimus Prime does not appear in this episode. |
2005.12.13 2005.12.19 |
A- |
Sara M |
| 2-8 Recap |
Unhappy Accident
The Mistake - Chase and House have to go in front of a peer review committee to determine whether Chase made a mistake that ultimately led to a woman's death, and we all go on a journey through the organ black market, living donor transplants, awesome continuity, elementary school talent shows, and, of course, seemingly endless discussions about Stacy and House's non-relationship. |
2005.11.29 2005.12.05 |
A- |
Sara M |
| 2-7 Recap |
Hunting For Ratings
Hunting - If you like House the Jerk, then you'll love the manipulative bastard he truly becomes in this episode as he attacks his patient's father with his cane (and with a few allegations that the guy's dead wife was sleeping around), and uses the information from Stacy's purloined therapy files to make himself look charming and thoughtful to either get her fired or win her back or both! As an added bonus, you also get to watch the similarly unlikable actions taken by his meth-using and co-worker-on-drugs-doing staff! And if you like Cuddy or Foreman, you'll be disappointed. Again. |
2005.11.22 2005.11.28 |
B- |
Sara M |
| 2-6 Recap |
Cheaters Never Win (Except For Sometimes)
Spin - When House and his team treat a cyclist who admits to illegally enhancing his biking performance, their own cheating ways come to light: Wilson cheats on his wives, House cheats to get secret information about Stacy, and Cameron thought about cheating once, but was too saintly to actually go through with it, making her especially resentful of those who do and get away with it. Oddly, she has no problem leaking confidential patient information to the press and framing the morgue for it. |
2005.11.15 2005.11.21 |
A |
Sara M |
| 2-5 Recap |
Shock And Aww
Daddy's Boy - A Princeton almost-grad has shock-like symptoms, sphincter paralysis, and a dead mother his well-meaning father lied about. House tries to avoid seeing his visiting parents, because he hates his truth-telling military father. His mother, on the other hand, is surprisingly sweet and nice and tells House he's perfect. |
2005.11.08 2005.11.14 |
A- |
Sara M |
| 2-4 Recap |
That Isn't The Question
TB Or Not TB - Because we know Dr. Sebastian "Africa-Saver" Charles has TB. We just don't know what's really killing him, why House hates people who do nice things, or whether Cameron will ever be attracted to a man who isn't about to die. |
2005.11.01 2005.11.07 |
B- |
Sara M |
| 2-3 Recap |
All The King's Houses
Humpty Dumpty - Cuddy's hot Latino handyman falls off her roof, and his fingers turn black, bringing House and his team onto the case, along with a whole lotta "did they or didn't they?" questions about Cuddy and House's history. By the end, the handyman loses a hand before House figures out what's wrong with him, but we never figure out whether House and Cuddy did it. |
2005.09.27 2005.10.03 |
A- |
Sara M |
| 2-2 Recap |
Crossing The Line
Autopsy - House crosses the line from likable curmudgeon to mean SOB. Cameron crosses the line from annoyingly over-emotional and useless character to confident and capable doctor. Chase straddles the line between sweet guy and creepy pedophile. And patient Andie goes back and forth between life and death. |
2005.09.20 2005.09.26 |
B |
Sara M |
| 2-1 Recap |
Doin' It And Doin' It And Doin' It Well
Acceptance - LL Cool J guest stars as a Death Row inmate with a Mysterious Illness. House cures him because he does his job well, even if it does involve getting wasted and hacking into the hospital computer's mainframe. Cameron refuses to tell her patient that she has terminal lung cancer, because she doesn't do her job well at all. Also, Foreman is black. |
2005.09.13 2005.09.19 |
B |
Sara M |
| 1-22 Recap |
We'll Never Have Paris
Honeymoon - At Stacy's request, House treats Stacy's husband, whose Mystery Disease is so mysterious that no one, including the husband himself, thinks there's actually anything wrong with him. And yet, he's subjected to a barrage of expensive and painful tests and surgeries, because Stacy always gets what Stacy wants. House, on the other hand, can only try sometimes and get what he needs. And that is drugs. |
2005.05.24 2005.09.07 |
A- |
Sara M |
| 1-21 Recap |
Something For Everyone
Three Stories - House gives a diagnostic-medicine lecture about three patients with leg pain that manages to include Carmen Electra, young ladies playing volleyball, lots of Cuddy being awesome, a shot of House's bare chest, and a cute puppy. Everyone should walk away happy. Unless, of course, your significant other had your thigh muscles cut up against your express wishes. Then you'll have to limp. Sadly. |
2005.05.17 2005.09.01 |
A+ |
Sara M |
| 1-20 Recap |
Hurts So Good
Love Hurts - House tends to two couples whose relationships may be fraught with physical pain, including vaginal tearing and strangulation-induced strokes, but they still manage to look like more fun that House and Cameron's date, which, hopefully, won't be repeated. |
2005.05.10 2005.08.29 |
B |
Sara M |
| 1-19 Recap |
Moral Morales
Kids - Ladies, there'll be hell to pay if you don't act right! 'Cause if you have underaged, unmarried sex or wear the wrong clothes or shoes to work, you'll either get pregnant and almost die, be a source of amusement for male co-workers, or your shallow, insecure ass won't get hired! Good thing we have Upstanding Citizen Cameron in this world to show us how to blackmail your boss into taking you out on a date. |
2005.05.03 2005.08.26 |
B+ |
Sara M |
| 1-18 Recap |
Cameron-Free is the Way to Be!
Babies And Bathwater - Cameron does not appear in this episode, meaning that Wilson and Cuddy get lots of stuff to do, and it's Vogler's swan song. It's truly great TV. Sara M doesn't think that's a coincidence. |
2005.04.19 2005.08.24 |
A+ |
Sara M |
| 1-17 Recap |
Know Your Role
Role Model - Vogler's is still the irredeemable Bad Guy. Cameron's is still the girl who can't deal with her schoolgirl crush like a normal person. The A-plot patient, a senator and presidential hopeful who refuses to believe he has AIDS even after testing positive for it, is to show House that winning isn't everything. And the B-plot patient's is to show us all how multitasking can help us make the most of our nights. |
2005.04.12 2005.08.19 |
C+ |
Sara M |