Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Bringing the Cheesecake
By Monty Ashley | Season 7 | Episode 5 | Aired on 06.22.2010
Nilka and Fran have a blood sausage catastrophe due to neither of them ever having cooked it before. And also because blood sausage is innately gross. When Nilka brings their dish up to Gordon, she doesn't sound enthusiastic at all. But c'mon, you try saying "blood sausage and prune puree" and making it sound appetizing. Gordon spits it out and asks who thought prunes would go with sausage. There is no answer, although a flashback reveals Scott saying "We're gonna do a nice sausage and we're gonna garnish it with prunes." Meanwhile, Benjamin has a pork loin with bok choy and it's very nice. 1-0 blue team.
Holli/Siobhan now take on Jason/Autumn. Jason presents honey-glazed bacon with honey slaw. It tastes "nice," but too sweet. Gordon says that it needed mustard, and we flash back to Jason telling Autumn not to add mustard. Holli's dish is pork tenderloin with sweet and sour apple. The red ream wins, and we're tied going into the last dish. No kidding.
Jay presents a pork loin chop with pinto beans. It's nice. Maria has... some kind of concoction involving ham hocks and sweet potatoes. She never gets around to saying what it is. It appears to be soup, so I'm going with that. Gordon tells them "Congratulations... because you just screwed your team!" Who are the people who love these sudden mid-sentence twists? I assume there are a lot of them, because they happen constantly on every reality show. Anyway, Gordon's objection is that the soup doesn't use ham hock as the main ingredient; it's sweet potato soup with a dash of ham hock. Blue team wins.
The red team's punishment is to put on overalls and go outside to clean the pigs. The blue team, meanwhile, gets robes to go with their outing to a spa. This episode has a lot of costume changes.
The blue team enjoys their time at the spa. Autumn enjoys her massage. The men get painted with seaweed and then take showers. This is all highly relevant to the show. Back at the parking lot to Hell's Kitchen, the red team isn't complaining half as much as the pigs. Those guys really do not want to take their baths, and their little piggy shrieks are a little unsettling. The contrast between the two scenes is pretty nice this time, since the blue team is in a mud bath and the red team is in a mud pit. The camera lingers a long, long time on Autumn in her bikini.
Oh no. We're going to spend some down time with the contestants as they hang out together in the dorms. This is always death. Holli tells everyone that she has a giant porn collection, and Jay thinks he has more. Salvatore asks if Holli makes the porn herself, and she denies it. Then she admits to having recorded some with old lovers. An incredibly frankensteined quote from Siobhan (I think) announces, "I used to work... somewhat... topless... and.... somewhat.... nude." That might have been the same "somewhat" used both times in that quote. So she used to do fetish balls under the name "Shannon Marie". Everyone has a good time.