Episode Report Card Cate: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sunday
By Cate | Season 7 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.05.2003
Also on the Promenade are Chanandler and Roxanne, walking around and holding hands. They're both just a little too excited about the hand-holding thing. Chanandler decides to kiss Roxanne. He pretends that he's doing something incredibly saucy, but quite frankly, nobody's fooled. There are people watching, though -- a trio of girls from the church who looked bummed out to see RevBong kissing someone other than themselves.
Lucy has foregone the Promenade in favor of the church, which is empty. She walks up to the pulpit and starts thumbing through the Bible. She looks like she's about to cry. I hope she's reflecting on what an incredible dumb-ass she is.
It takes Kevin an entire commercial break to find and stalk Lucy down at the church, where he risks certain boredom by asking her to talk to him. She complies. The first thing she says is, "I don't think I've liked myself much since I met Roxanne." Yeah, yeah. Doesn't she do this every episode? She feels bad for being such a psycho hose beast, and promises she'll try harder to be normal. But then the next week, when the writers can't come up with any decent plots, they resort to making her all pinched-up and obsessive again. Really, this shit wore thin ages ago. Oh, and now Lucy is envious of Chanandler as well, since she thinks she should be the one up in the pulpit of this particular church. Hey, Lucy? Yeah, you, dumb-fuck. Don't you think you should, at the very, very least, complete college before expecting to become a minister? That's like me being jealous of my lawyer friends when I haven't even taken the LSATs, let alone gone to law school. Lucy's just getting going on all the ugly mouth-pursing when Roxanne and RevBong walk in.
Annie's still reading her husband's smutty manuscript when the author himself walks in. He says that everyone else in the household is occupied, and hints that he wants sex. I guess he's counting on his erotically thrilling novel making her extra-horny.
Simon and Cecilia are sitting across from her father in what is presumably chez Cecilia. It's obvious the young lovers have shared their news, since Cecilia's father is working his way through a series of dorky facial expressions that rival some of Catherine Hicks's "best" work. Just before he explodes, Cecilia tells Simon to "run."
Also about to explode is Ruthie's volcano project, which she and Peter have been building in her room. Unfortunately, the two escape before they can be killed by it. The CamRents hear the explosion and start investigating. Annie checks in on the twins and seems happy that it is not they who exploded. I guess she's also happy they haven't drowned, since they're having an unsupervised bath right now. Well, unless you want to count the supervision of Happy, who's in the bath with them. I just hope Happy doesn't relieve herself in the tub. Heh heh.