Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Tempus Fuckit
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 06.26.2005
Nate comes into his bedroom holding the bottle of tequila, expecting to be dive-bombed at any moment. But the bird is gone and Maggie's there instead. They say they both needed a moment. Nate tells her that Ruth and George left, but Maggie says she'll get a ride with David and Keith. With that out of the way, Nate tries a new conversational direction: "Tequila?" Maggie says sure, and they sit next to each other on the end of the bed. Ever the consummate host, Nate fills the shot glass and hands it to Maggie. She says something in Spanish, then downs the shot. "Many years in Arizona, much tequila," she explains. She asks if Nate's having a good birthday. He downs his own shot and says, "I feel like all I can get out of this birthday is that life is really fucking lonely." Maggie's expression was catchier. She reminds him that he has a family and a baby on the way. "Yeah," he says, "and it's really fucking lonely." Yeah, tell it to the divorced lady with the dead kid. He whines about how he manages himself and tries to connect with people, and spews some crap about getting to the station on time and not having a guarantee that anyone's going to pick you up when you get there. Maggie says, "I know that if you think life's a vending machine where you put in virtue and you get back happiness, you're probably going to be disappointed." Nate looks at her like she just said something incredibly profound as she takes another shot. "Is that how I sound?" he asks. "A little," says Maggie, and they smile at each other. Why she finds this kind of talk even remotely attractive is beyond me. Nate looks like he's about to lean over for a kiss (FROM HIS STEPSISTER) when they hear Brenda calling Nate's name from the kitchen.
Nate and Maggie arrive to see everyone who's still there gathered and looking at the bird sitting on the kitchen table. "Why was the window open?" Nate demands. "Because you said it was in the bedroom," Brenda says. "Don't be such a jerk." "Fuck off," Nate says contemptuously, grabbing a broom. David and Keith share a shocked glance. "I gotta do every little fucking thing myself," Nate says, opening the back door. And he squares off against the bird with the broom. "I have tried all night to do the right thing by this bird but it just keeps fucking with me," he complains. David says not to take it personally. "Shut up, David," Nate snaps, flushing the bird off the table and into the air. He starts swinging angrily at the airborne, squawking bird while everyone watches in horror. He starts breaking things. "Get the motherfuck out!" he screams.