Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Depression On A DVD, Part Two
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 07.27.1997
Keane chats with L'Italien, who says his execution is the following week. Keane tells him about a death row movie starring Susan Hayward, which I've identified as I Want To Live!. Keane says that Susan was up for execution, but her attorney pleaded for a reprieve, so she waited for the call that would set her free. L'Italien predicts that the call came at the last moment, but Keane says he thinks she fried. Is there room in Oz's budget for a professional motivational speaker? Because these people suck at making each other feel better, and I'm getting the worst of it. The misery continues as Glynn, accompanied by Said, enters, and in a businesslike manner asks Keane to divide up his possessions. Keane says his family will be claiming his body, and his dad and Said will be his witnesses. Keane signs the form Glynn gives him, and Glynn asks Said if he's sure he should see this, and I don't think hell or high water would stop Said from being with Keane until the end. And that end, it seems, is now, as Glynn calls for a hack to escort them.
Said tells him that death is the supreme moment of truth, as two hacks join the three men in a funereal procession. Said gives him his hat, and they pray in unison. McManus and Diane kiss. I can't even be bothered with that now. Then, both pantless, he shoves her up against the wall, and okay, I am feeling a searing pain in my corneas now, thanks, but I'm going to soldier on. Hill VOs about the death penalty. Keane is led in to the last room he'll ever see, and made to lie on a gurney and strapped down. Said tries to enter, but is rebuffed, and the door closes. I briefly wonder about Leon's propensity to play Christ figures, but while I'm sure there are jokes to be told in that vein, I'm not really in the mood here. (Did you get that? "Vein"? C'mon, people, I still have to try! It's my job!) A doctor prepares Keane's left arm for the injection. Shot of McManus that I can't even bring myself to recap. One horror at a time here, people.
The curtain opens, and Glynn tells Keane he can make a statement. Keane tilts his head toward the window and, voice breaking, gives a speech that is, to me, possibly the most moving moment of the entire series: "I want my family to know that I love them. I believe that this punishes them more than it punishes me. I am so sorry for the three murders that I did, and I wish, by killing me today, you could bring them back. My time on this earth has been far too short. Maybe too short to get it all done right. So, I'm ready to move on. All praise to Allah." God, it's hard to get through that. Keane's father agrees with me, although the Pernicious Peewee gloats behind him. Assmunch. At the end of Keane's speech, the camera closes in on Keane's eye, reminiscent of the deer Diane described. When we get very close, his eye fades into that of McManus, who's at a certain special moment with Diane. We move back to Keane, who's dead. I know, Jefferson -- that practically made me shuffle off this mortal coil too. Cut to the lobby, where the PP tells reporters with a smile, "Justice has been served." Yeah -- served a steaming pile of your shit. And by the way, his smile is one of the scariest things I've ever seen on the show, and since I only last week finally saw the infamous spoon scene, I think that's saying a lot. I just hope he doesn't mount Keane's head on his wall.