Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT FHM Hates Me
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.02.2001
According to Freer, the conversation "soon turns" to a discussion of "America's strange relationship with nudity." Because America's strange relationship with nudity is what women automatically turn to as a conversation topic when left alone in closed quarters. Now you know, guys. Milano supposes she doesn't "have the issues" others have on the topic because she grew up in a household headed by "'60s parents" who were, by definition, "free and open" about nudity. Her mother often walked around in the nude, though her father was "always a little bit more, like, 'My God, I have a daughter now.'" This all makes me very happy I had Eisenhower parents who were, by definition, fully-clothed at all times. Freer uses this opportunity to segue into a bit of backstory on Milano's early career, noting that Milano's parents' "free and open ways did not extend to the world of showbiz." At the age of seven, Alyssa was shepherded to an audition for the national touring company of Annie by "a stage-struck babysitter." Of the fifteen thousand girls at the open audition, Alyssa was one of four cast, despite the objections of her parents. They relented when she locked herself in her room and "wouldn't eat." Since, out of the current crop of prime time starlets, eating disorders are Calista Flockhart's specialty, I'll let that one slide. After two years with Annie and a couple of years in various Broadway productions, Milano began an eight-year stint on Who's the Boss? at the age of twelve. Freer then goes on to highlight the major bits of Milano's pre-Charmed resume, including Commando (with Arnold Schwarzenegger, whom Milano found "intimidating"), and the Skinemax troika of Poison Ivy 2, Deadly Sins, and Embrace of the Vampire. Milano was also featured in Fear with Mark Wahlberg and Hugo Pool with Sean Penn, before joining the cast of Melrose Place briefly prior to signing on for Charmed. (After Aaron Spelling's initial choice for Phoebe, Lori Rom, left the project for "personal reasons.") After all that backstory, and a short plug for the upcoming theatrical feature Buying the Cow, Freer begins the interview proper by asking Milano if she's ever had "a regular job." Milano notes she hasn't, and launches into an anecdote about attempting to make "a blended coffee drink" for herself on the set when the "coffee guy" didn't show up for work one day. She ended up breaking the blender, upon which she arrived at this epiphany: "I've never had a real job. I can't even make a coffee drink." Alyssa, sweetie, I've held a string of part- and full-time "real jobs" since I was fourteen years old, and I can't make a coffee drink. God created Starbucks for a reason. And Taster's Choice, for that matter. Anyway, Freer then asks if Milano thinks she's "missed out on normal life" because of her acting career. Milano doesn't think so, but reveals they dipped into her private life for plot fodder on Who's the Boss? "I started developing and wearing a little bra, and I couple of weeks later, I turned up for a table reading and the episode was called 'Sam's First Bra.'" I toss a sympathy glare in the direction of the production staff of Who's the Boss?, because I'm sure that had to have sucked. Then again, if they had an episode called "Sam's First Douche," I know I'd watch just for the ick factor. Milano also reveals she had to have Judith Light instruct her on the nuances of tampon insertion, as Milano began menstruating on-set. Milano's mother "was a little upset" about this last bit when told of it later. As I know nothing about mother/daughter bonding over one's first period, I'll leave that one alone, as well. ["I can understand Mrs. Milano's point of view, particularly since Judith Light is a drag queen." -- Sars]