Episode Report Card Potes: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Do Mess With Texas
By Potes | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.27.2005
The other girls have work done, but none is as exciting or amusing as Cassandra's, so we cut back to her. The colorist asks her if she's ever seen Rosemary's Baby, and she says no. He then starts to say that Rosemary was pregnant, and Cassandra finishes his sentence: "With the Devil's baby." She mouths a very sad and silent "Yeah." Lisa, on the other hand, goes up to Jay and says that she loves her haircut even though it kind of looks like a helmet. Jay tells her that they were thinking of going darker but will now make her a believable blonde. She smiles and displays more wrinkles than Estelle Getty. Kim, who has her mouth full, wonders if red hair is too feminine. I'm sorry, but she's wearing, like, German schoolboy knickers and a motocross jacket. The color red is all, "I can't save the world, yo." Kim says that she'll try to keep her own personal expression, but that it might be hard with the new hair color. Just for that, I kind of wish that they'd given her really long extensions. On a separate note, the color is kind of stupid and it looks like they've curled her bangs. She complains, "No boy has this color hair," and whoever is sitting next to her has to remind her that she's not, in fact, a boy.
More fun at the salon. Bre needs to have her nose hairs trimmed. Heh. Jay asks weaveologists (who knew that was a word! And I want one!) Waatani, Lorgh, and Latanya how long the braiding of Ebony's hair will take. The answer, I guess, is a really long time. Cassandra looks on with envy at all the girls who aren't pouting. Jay tells one of the stylists that it's been twelve hours of crying as Cassandra complains that they want her to be someone she's not. On the contrary: I think that they want her to be the raging pain in the ass that she is, because it will make good television.
Jay goes to the girls and tells them each how to incorporate her new signature style into her makeover. Bre is the ghetto fabulous girl. She interviews that the fact that they didn't do much to her means that she's perfect as is and that no one could find a way to make her more beautiful, with the exception of cutting that Rip Van Winkle sized nose hair. Her makeover is relatively unexceptional. ["And normally, that means they're getting ready to cut her ass -- fake-out!" -- Wing Chun]
Nicole's new style is "'90s wide-eyed supermodel," and I did not know that was an actual thing. And I have to say that despite the uncanny resemblance to Marie Osmond, Nicole can turn it out. She might be one to watch out for now that she has lots and lots of hair.