Episode Report Card 2 USERS: D- YOU GRADE IT Take Back Your Bink
By Alex Richmond | Season 7 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.27.2003
Someone's in the kitchen with the twins. His name? Simon. The kids sit there, comatose. Simon says, "What?" They ask for a "coooo-kie." Simon gives them one each. They sing-song, "Thaaaank yoooou." Simon says they look like they're up to something. Do they want to come upstairs and watch him put his books away? No, they want to "staay with the coooo-kies." Simon grabs one twin in each arm and hauls them off.
Ruthie says she met Peter's mom's Date, and it seemed like he was "trying to be nice." Annie notes that there's a difference between that and really being nice. Kevin and Roxanne bring Peter and his dog in. Was he going to bring his dog to the movies, too? Peter faces Ruthie and calls her a "snitch" and a "traitor." Ruthie contests that she wasn't ratting him out, since she "promised" she would tell. Which "makes [her] a woman of [her] word." Huh? "Woman"? Kevin says he "felt a little guilty" about the way he "busted Peter," which is why the dog is here, and to save him some cookies. I'm getting an idea that the dog is somehow important. You getting that?
Rev and RevLite are back at the church, and look! Checks are waiting for them! Eric says it's the "touch" of Mrs. Bink. RevLite notes that they're made out to her and not the church. Eric says fundraising is her thing, and "how bad is she?" RevLite says that if he tells, she said she'd tell everyone that RevLite got his "Ph.D in prison." Not bad.
Cut to Mrs. Bink on the phone. She talks to someone and asks if he remembers that summer when his wife was in Paris and they...just drop the check off at the church! Thanks. Another call. She wouldn't want to put that person "on the tightwad list" when he "spends all that money on toupees...God loves a cheerful giver!" Another call -- you get the idea. She blackmails everyone. Her phone rings. She picks it up and says, "Leave your message at the sound of the beep. Beep!" It's a nurse. She says that Mrs. Bink is missing her chemo appointment, and it's important to stay regular with that. Does Mrs. Bink want her to pick her up? Nurse "know[s] [she's] there." Mrs. Bink says into the phone, "Beep!" Then she hangs up. The music gets real sad.
CamPound. Kevin sacks out on the couch, and Lucy comes in, nattering about meeting Roxanne. Kevin says he's "exhausted" (from catching a kid outside a movie theater?) and she should go by herself. She does, saying she "really wants to see Roxanne." She does?
RevEric talks to Mrs. Bink. People are mad about the fundraising. Mrs. Bink speaks for us all when she says, "Do we really care?" Eric says, "Some people felt slightly...threatened." Mrs. Bink: "And?" Exactly. Eric asks if she's feeling all right, or if she's having "any health problems." Just "cancer," but her "prognosis is good," and she's "going to be fine." Did "that weasel, Chandler" tell him? No. But who else knows? Just her doctors and "the nurse that gives [her] chemo. Who else needs to know?" RevEric says he does, with a grave face. Because it's all about him, remember? Mrs. Bink asks why he'd want to know, and he says it's because he can get her help. She laughs. Who else besides him and his family members? Well, "names escape [him]." She says that no one at church "gets" her or "likes" her, which is why she's so good at getting money out of people. She says people should "give of themselves just to share, share their good fortune. But they won't unless you threaten them, or reward them. That's why people need to believe in heaven and hell, don't you think?" Wow, Eileen Brennan should get an Emmy for her performance. I'm honestly scared right now!