Episode Report Card Mindy Monez: A | 109 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT "Who's the Baddest Witch in Town?"
By Mindy Monez | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.30.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Last night's episode pivoted around Fiona's rivalry with two women: Marie Laveau, who is newly pissed at her and Madame LaLaurie for beheading her most recent Minotaur, and the head of the witching internal affairs committee The Council, Myrtle Snow (played brilliantly, as always, by Frances Conroy). The former brings a horde of New Orleans zombies – including LaLaurie's three daughters – grunting bloody murder at the front door of Miss Robichaux's Academy, culminating in a cliffhanger for next week. The latter is amazing, and I'll be giving it its own paragraph. Follow me!
So The Council is basically gay fan fiction and I love it. It's Frances Conroy in a giant Sideshow Bob wig (a nice one), Leslie Jordan cracking wise, and prolific character actress Robin Bartlett. Nan has summoned them to investigate Madison's disappearance because she can't hear her thoughts anymore and believes her to be dead, inadvertently activating a decades-old feud between Fiona and Myrtle Snow. Fiona cleverly maneuvers her way out of their investigation, but along the way we learn the fun story of how Spalding lost his tongue: He cut it out himself after Myrtle cast a truth spell on it so he couldn't lie for Fiona during the investigation into Anna Leigh's disappearance in 1971. He has always loved Fiona (awww!). He has also always loved tea parties with creepy dolls (what!), and currently loves dressing up Madison's half-naked corpse in his secret lair (nooo!).
Speaking of Madison, during the investigation Cordelia casually mentions that Fiona wouldn't have murdered her out of jealousy because she had a heart murmur, a health defect that automatically disqualifies her from being Supreme anyway. This was information Fiona did not have, apparently. Whoops.
In other news, Cordelia's husband is a dirty cheater, which we discover courtesy of a brief cameo by Alexandra Breckenridge, the sexy maid we all loved in Season 1. They have very aggressive sex in a hotel room and then eat vending machine soup together, which is gross. Unfortunately, after he sleeps with her he murders her, so, a cheater and a killer? Dealbreaker, ladies. This also vindicates Fiona's suspicions of him "reeking of bullshit," and you know how annoying it is when someone gives your mom an opportunity to say I-told-you-so. Worst husband award, right here.
Oh, and Kyle has broken free of Zoe's expert care and is now running free in the streets. Zombies everywhere! Hopefully this means Misty Day to the rescue next week.
Mindy Monez is not the baddest witch in town, not even close. She barely cracks the top 10. But follow her on Twitter @garnisheater anyway!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Flashback to 1961 New Orleans: A young African-American boy is riding his bike down the streets of a quiet residential neighborhood when suddenly a truck full of white guys pulls up behind him. The boy looks back and, alarmed, starts pedaling faster. The truck floors it and runs him off the road into a secluded alley between two houses. Tragically, this alley is a dead end both literally and figuratively, and the men approach the terrified boy as we cut to…
Marie Laveau's salon (still in 1961), where one of her stylists, Cora, is having a hard time concentrating on doing hair because it's her son's first day of high school – at the "white school." She explains that it's integrated now, but this is 1961 and the Deep South, so Marie and the other women in the salon know as well as we do the potential danger he could be in. Marie brings up some recent bullshit racist smear campaigns on behalf of New Orleans officials, but his mother, though nervous, cites Kennedy being in the White House, and says she has hope for the future. Oof.
Her statements are contrasted with an abrupt cut to the horrific scene of the boy from the first scene hanging by his neck from a tree. This is clearly Cora's son. He's framed quite cinematically as a tiny boy being enveloped by this massive tree in the middle of a field, alone and overtaken by something much darker and more powerful than he is. I know some viewers and critics reacted negatively to this story being included in what's supposed to be a campy, fun show, but I don't think it's out of line to be inclusive to the very real consequences of historical racism along with the comedy beats of Madame LaLaurie and Queenie squaring off over the dinner table (as much as I do love those scenes). If you're going to do a season about racial tensions in New Orleans, then do a season about racial tensions in New Orleans.
Later, Cora arrives on the crime scene with Marie just as the police are cutting him down and mourns him as Marie looks on and glowers, clearly plotting some kind of fantastic voodoo revenge. Clearly, Marie Laveau is a good friend to have.
Back in Marie's salon, it's after hours, and she is in her back room performing a spell. There are drums being played, a mysterious chalk drawing on the ground, multiple snakes of varying size and color, a bit of reptile blood and a whole mess of secrets from her apothecary cabinet going into this thing. So, her magic can cure infertility, avenge dead children, build Minotaurs and apparently generate massive amounts of cold hard cash as well. Every time I find an apothecary cabinet I want it costs thousands of dollars! Marie Laveau gets to have everything.